How to Find Balance in Your Life

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What will help you stay balanced in your life?

You need to eliminate stress from your life. One of the things that causes you to feel unhappy and lose balance is stress. In everyone's life there are many things that contribute to feelings of stress and loss of controland this can stop you relaxing and feeling good about your life.

Worrying creates a vicious cycle in your mind; you find yourself constantly worried about the same things in your life and this can destroy all feelings of happiness. The sad thing is that the more you stress, the more you stress. Stress just doesn't go away and you have to make a conscious effort to avoid thinking negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are very unproductive and may even stop you functioning properly.

Sort out the things you worry about

In short, to make headway you need to sort out your worries first. It's a good idea to divide up your worries so you can eliminate those you can't do anything about. You could write down everything that's going on in your life, and write down the things you worry about. Then divide your worries into three groups.

1. Worries that will get better or disappear altogether by themselves with the passage of time.

These would be things like:

  • your hair colour that you don't like will fade
  • if you don't like living at home, eventually you'll be in a position to move out
  • you will get to know more people like you and make new friends
  • you will save enough money for the trip you want to take

2. Worries that you can't do anything about, such as:

  • you cannot influence weather
  • you cannot answer for how other people may react if you tell them something they don't want to hear
  • you don't control traffic, you'll just have to go with the flow
  • you can't make other people want to go out with you

3. Worries with a practical solution that you can do something about, such as:

  • you can book tickets to an event online to avoid not getting to see the event
  • your train may be late but you can use the time to study/finish a work report while you're waiting
  • you can save money for a shopping trip by taking cut lunch to school/work instead of buying it at the canteen
  • you haven't done your share of housework during the week but you can do it right now

Put in the time to sort out your worries...

... because too much worrying about too many things at once can have a negative impact on your life. It can stop you sleeping and make you very unhealthy, trapping you in an endless cycle of worrying. The solution to this problem is to sort your worries out into can't do (anything about it) and can do (something about it), then write down the practical solutions to those issues you can tackle before you go to sleep. This action will give you the feeling of control and this will help calm you at night.

Coping with Changes in Your Life

How do you cope with change?

Change is an inevitable part of everyone's life. Without change, there is no moving forward. Change gives us options to do things differently but sometimes, changes in your life can lead you to feel overwhelmed.

How you choose to react when change happens is up to you. Some changes you have no control over but you always have the control of your own response to a new situation. So you decide on the impact you want change to have on you.

What emotions are you likely to feel when change happens?

The four components of change are:

The wheel of change and how it affects you

1. Happiness

Imagine that your life is like a big bicycle wheel and you're sitting on top of it. When you are at the top, things look really good for you and you are at the place of happiness.

2. Loss

As the wheel goes round you are going to slip down to the 3 o'clock position and now you will find that your life is no longer as rosy as it seemed from the top of the wheel. You are experience some loss of that good feeling called happiness.

3. Suffering

The wheel moves round again and now you're at the bottom of it at 6 o'clock and you're feeling bad; you're, at this point, experiencing some suffering.

4. Hope

The wheel has moved on again and you're at the 9 o'clock position and beginning to feel better. You realize that soon you will be at the 12 o'clock position again, on top of your emotional wheel, and you'll reach happiness again.

This is the emotional wheel of change; and it will continue to turn around in this cycle.

Change and suffering

Suffering will always be part of change so you might as well accept it and deal with it calmly. The length of suffering may vary depending on what the cause of suffering is. The death of a loved one, for example, will affect you for a lot longer than leaving your favourite book at a bus stop. Eventually, your grief will settle and you will experience hope again as the wheel of change continues to turn.

Generally, you can use suffering to your advantage and learn valuable lessons from it. People dread or at least fear change because they're afraid how new changes in their life might affect them. Suffering is not a place to be avoided; it's to be embraced, just like happiness. Both will bring experiences into your life that you will benefit from such as growth and understanding.

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