Am I A Sociopath? Are You? Take The Quiz!

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"To err is human; to forgive, divine." ~Alexander Pope

What is a sociopath?

A sociopath is almost undetectable at first. They will be your best friend and supporter. They will convince you of their undying love. They will look into your eyes and lie with an unflinching smile. You can not ask a sociopath a question and get a reliable answer. They are prone to distorting situations at will. Sociopaths can be compulsive liars but they are so conniving they believe their own lies enough to convince others.

We all see small bits and pieces of ourselves in many definitions. What does define us morally? If I have been a bad friend - does that make me a sociopath? If I hurt another person's feelings, does that make me bad? If I experience a moment of anger or say something in that moment what does that say about me? Aren't those the answers we really want to know? If the answer is yes - then you are clearly not a sociopath. Sociopaths do not care or have feelings of remorse. They reject the idea that they are anything less than perfect.

A sociopath is not the type of person who is going to lose sleep because they are worried about how someone else feels. A sociopath would accept your kidney if they needed a transplant and then tell you how selfish you are if you denied them your last stick of gum.

A sociopath lacks empathy - emotion. They do not care about other people. If there was only one apple left in the world and a sociopath had it - they would let the world starve while they ate every bite.

It's all mine!

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Well Known Sociopaths

  • Ted Bundy
  • Joseph Stalin
  • Aileen Wuornos
  • John Wayne Gacy
  • John List
  • Susan Smith
  • Edward Gein
  • Gary Ridgeway
  • Jeffrey Dahmer
  • Belle Sorrenson Gunness
  • Charles Manson
  • Mary Bell
  • Dennis Rader

Aileen Wuornos

Source

Sociopaths are extremely charming, charismatic - cunning. A sociopath is a chameleon and will change their character to fit the color of the room. The true sociopath appears to be very well put together, educated, witty and exciting. These people are the ones that have all that magnetism and are the center of attention.

The sociopath is very convincing and will tell you how much they admire/love/adore you. They have the knack of being very believable and this person is very good at exploiting weaknesses in others. Sociopaths are willing and able to lie at any moment and are so believable they can fool lie detector tests repeatedly.

Sociopaths do not have to be serial killers, in fact they don't even have to murder one person to be a bona fide sociopath. Sociopaths are not that uncommon. I have had experience with one or more and certainly most adults have been exposed to a sociopathic lover or co-worker at some point in time because this type of personality is abundant . According to statistics at The National Institute for Mental Health, approximately 1% of the population is a sociopath.

John Wayne Gacy's Artwork
John Wayne Gacy's Artwork | Source

Moral Insanity

Dr. J. C. Pritchard is attributed with the first use of the term "moral insanity" in 1835 when he wrote, "There is a form of mental derangement in which the intellectual faculties [are uninjured], while the disorder is manifested principally or alone, in the state of feelings, temper, or habits...The Moral...principals of the mind...are depraved or perverted, the power of self government is lost or greatly impaird and the individual is...incablable...of conducting himself with decency and propriety in the business of life."

Pschopaths and Sociopaths are different in some aspects though they share many of the same traits. A psychopath is more organized and controlled emotionally, a sociopath tends to be more impulsive, anxiety ridden or prone to angry outbursts. Another difference that has been argued is the etiology of the different types of disorders.

Sociopaths are not gender specific and symptoms often present themselves in childhood. This is when therapy is found to be most effective and rehabilitation is said to be possible if caught early and treated.

Watch Your Back!

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Ted Bundy

This is what a sociopath looks like.
This is what a sociopath looks like. | Source

John List

He looks so nice!
He looks so nice! | Source

Beneath that bewitching mask a true sociopath is controlling, conniving and wants to rule the universe. Many people are confused about what a sociopath is - there are signs and criteria but these people hide their flaws well. Sociopaths are filled with anger and hostility but it is covert. They have a huge sense of entitlement and derive pleasure from the negativity they create and those they are able to humiliate.

A sociopath will blame and project their emotions onto everyone around them. Sociopaths do not care about anyone but themselves. They lack empathy and sympathy. A sociopath wants to be gratified with their every wish and command and will go to great lengths to achieve that. A sociopath is filled with hate and will brood over small issues and plot and plan to get their revenge. Making others feel bad is what makes them feel good.

What Motivates A Sociopath?

Greed, the need to be powerful, number one, the need for affection, love and undying devotion is the motive. A sociopath enjoys the havoc they wreak and thrives on feeding their addictive needs whatever they may be. Simply feeling as if they are in control of another person is the reward. A sociopath lacks true feeling and emotion so they thrive on their victims turmoil. While sociopaths often steal things or commit robbery they most often do not need a monetary reward to fuel their need for power and control over others.

How To Stop Dating Sociopaths!

Perfect Jobs for Sociopaths

  • Con-artist
  • Sales Person
  • Drug Dealer
  • Hit Man
  • Counselor
  • Therapist
  • Model
  • President


What Can You Do?

RUN!

Sociopaths begin their careers early. According to the DSM to qualify as a true sociopath the person must have had behavioral or conduct issues before the age of 15 but they must be at least 18 years old to meet the criteria. Sociopaths, while hard to identify, will burn their bridges. They will have left a graveyard of lost friendships, family members and acquaintances in their wake. A sociopath will usually have many work related issues and a scattering of jobs in their pasts without having held any one particular job for a long period of time. They tend to have poor work ethic. They also have trouble academically usually due to atypical behavior. Many have issues with alcohol or drugs and risky behavior.

A sociopath will hurt your feelings and then say they are sorry and offer small gifts or rewards to show good faith in their apology though they really don't care if you are angry or hurt. They pretend and preform so well it's Oscar winning. They really are seeking constant validation from friends and family. People are mere targets to them...they don't feel loved and do not feel genuine love for others.

Sociopaths rarely benefit from therapy. While they truly do know the difference between right and wrong - they do not feel it is important. They choose to do things that are wrong. A sociopath is totally capable of convincing a professional therapist that they have been rehabilitated. A true sociopath can not be fixed. Genetics, biology and environment are suspect in the origin of the condition though the cause is not completely understood. They can become dangerous and are even capable of murder. This is not the type of person one should antagonize.

It is best to steer clear of these people as they are capable of flashing that winning smile and kissing you on the cheek while they steal your soul. They will lie, cheat, steal, apologize, convince, lie, cheat, steal, apologize, convince, lie, cheat, steal.....it is the addictive cycle that keeps their motor running. That is the reward for the sociopath.

NOTE: I am not a professional psychologist and this article is not intended to be used for medical advice.

Are you a sociopath? Take The the quiz - find out fast!

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Comments 245 comments

tsmog profile image

tsmog 4 years ago from Escondido, CA

OK, I'll be first. Great, informative article and fun too! Reading all the material my be of good use too! I don't want to offer any spoilers, so I'll use code. Results are no and yes, the second with an explanation. Time to sleep, and after reading this awesome article I 'will' sleep having learned a great bit of new stuff!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Kelly....Per your disclaimer, you may not be a psychologist, but this hub of yours is spot-on, pure textbook, factual. There are so many facets to the true Sociopath (psychopath) that the reality is, only another sociopath can know the intracacies of another, first hand. That's pretty frightening in itself, if you think about the old adage that "birds of a feather....." However, fortunately for the unsuspecting average and normal Joe, sociopaths avoid one another like the plague.

There is no ONE space in this world, large enough to accommodate more than one sociopathic ego at a time...(which is how their minds work)

Case in point...you are aware of the psychopaths (who have been incarcerated for crimes of atrocities), being sought out by law enforcement to assist in active investigations of other pathological individuals....?

And for extra measure....it is important for the general public to understand that these lovely creatures amongst us, do not diagnose as "mentally ill." This is another issue altogether.

This subject matter is fodder for endless research and study. Interesting/intriguing, to say the least...and quickly becoming a matter for lay-individuals to pay some attention to. Why? Well, because it's becoming more and more possible in this world of ours, to wake up one morning to discover that for 20 years, you have lived next door to a "Casey Anthony."

You did a fabulous job here, Kelly...


Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

This is a very important topic for people to understand. My master's thesis was about sociopaths, and it is chilling to realize they're more common than we believe (some estimates are as high as 4 percent of the population for those with some degree of the disorder, which I tend to believe is accurate).

Voted up and interesting!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

Ok... I am not really sure why I said red hammer... but apparently I am not a sociopath... I was starting to wonder a little bit after reading this article. After all, I have been known to occasionally have those strange outbursts... then again, I have a quitly complex - so I guess that would unqualify me!

Great hub... and very useful information for those people in your life you start to wonder about :)


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

I think I know a sociopath or someone that fits most of the descriptions that you've listed. Scary!

Excellent hub!


2besure profile image

2besure 4 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

Good to know that I am not a sociopath. I do have a conscious! How horrible it must be not to be able to feel, guilt or remorse.


diogenes profile image

diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico

I had one friend who was sociopathic - to a marked degree - there are degrees, it's not all black and white. And another who I knew well and who proved his complete and dangerous sociopathy over time.

The overiding feeling I have of my friend is emptiness. He had a large influence on people for a while, but left as much behind as the ripples from a stone hitting water.

Bob


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

This is an excellent hub about sociopaths. I am fairly certain I have a couple of them in my own life. The problem with a sociopath is you always want to believe it can't be true. You always think, "Oh, maybe he is really sincere and I am the bad person for not believing him." At least that means I am not a sociopath. :-)

Great hub and voted up!

P.S. That photo at the top is super scary!


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland

Wow - I don't even know how to respond to this Hub other than to say you have made me more aware of the sociopaths in my life. And about that test above - in the video... hahah

Sadly I have dealt with several people like this in my life. And even sadder is that I STILL get sucked in like a dummy. You'd think I would learn my lesson not to fall for the charms. Maybe one day. Until then - when I realize a person is a sociopath I RUN :) Great Hub RHW


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 4 years ago from San Francisco

Interesting overview! I didn't know that the concept of moral insanity only really reaches back to 1835. It makes me wonder just how much the concept of sociopaths is a product of modern society. At any rate, in both the past and present, I see a disconnect with the label and reality- there are people who lack empathy, make their own rules, and have difficulty connecting with others, and when their conduct causes problems or gets them in trouble, they're labeled sociopaths... but when they become powerful and successful, they become famous legacies! It's an odd, odd thing.


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago

Wow! I'm not on that list Kelly. This is awesome. I think you missed the unabomber and the NJ snipper. I wonder if Bullies are future Sociapaths. Thanks for the share!

LORD


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Effer! Thank you so much! It is scary isn't it??? I am fascinated by personality disorders! Lol. I have always been intrigued by what makes us different and what makes us tick.

I think is really mind boggling - and so interesting that you point out sociopaths avoid each other! Wow! I have heard that before but now I wonder why? I suppose it's like you said there's only room for one in their world?

The fact they don't diagnose as mentally I'll is what gives me the Heebie Jeebies! Ya, they can lie so convincingly they fly under the radar. The charm throws people off - I think we expect these people to LOOK crazy but they don't at all. They look just like us! They hide their true thoughts and feelings so we don't detect them. That makes me believe to a degree they know they are different and it's not a good difference:)

There are sociopaths literally everywhere. They are so good at their little games (I think other people are mere play things like a ball of twine to a kitten) they can convince people they are perfectly normal and we buy it and question our own sanity! These people must be handles with kid gloves too or they could be very very dangerous! I would not want to set a ticking bomb off!

Thanks so much for the very interesting additional info too!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Marcy! I bet that thesis is fascinating! That was a great topic to choose for your thesis! I would not have gotten bored doing that topic. I would believe the 4% estimate too. I think everyone hears SOCIOPATH and imagines a person who is an obvious looking fit to the label. It is never ever obvious! Lol. It takes a while to get to know people and see their incongruent behavior. People don't realize that "crazy" is not how these folks look. They are hard to spot but I feel people do start to see changes that start warning bells ringing and then they question their own sanity! Haha!

Thanks so much for the votes - I'd love to read more about your studies in this area too!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Barbergirl - no you're not a sociopath either....sorry. You're going to have to feel pain and emotional distress just like the rest of us:) haha! I'm telling you - that's a good thing!

Ya keep a look out for those who make you feel bad. If people tend to cut you down, be too controlling, ask for your last child? Run! I know you can run fast too so you'll be fine! Lol. Now - I wanted to know if I could have Max? You have two other kids za don't be selfish!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Kelly...you've got a pretty good handle on their behavior. Sociapthy CAN be associated with a mental illness also, but those are the real "crazies," that hopefully are confined somewhere.!! Such as, the criminally insane. Sometimes it's just a fine line that seperates. Think of "Charles Manson," maybe he's the perfect example of "Loco cuckoo...all the friggan lights are short circuits!!" lol Know what I mean? I don't mean to laugh, but I did, didn't I? When someone is beyond all hope, there's not much you can do but 1. STAY far away from them.....and then 2. Laugh!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Susan! I was going to ask you but....haha! Lol. I think everyone knows at least one of these kinds of people. It is scary - gives me the creeps. I was in a long term relationship with a sociopath. I was charmed, convinced he was perfect and he would insist that I made him do bad things (like go out drinking if I made him angry) it took me a while to see the manipulation I was involved in. Then I finally realized the problem was - I loved him and he loved himself even more! Lol. Thanks so much!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi 2besure - thank you and I'm glad you aren't a sociopath too! Lol. I do think it would be terrible to not feel love or affection! At the crux of it - them feeling unloved is a major part of the problem. They can't give what they don't feel. Pretending to have emotions is the best they can muster.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Bob - I agree there really are degrees. Like Bundy - he's an all out sociopath operating at 100%. People we meet on the job - at school - like that are usually not killers - they just hate people in general. If you make a sociopath angry though who knows what they are capable of. Write and wrong do not figure in their mentality.

I think it's interesting how you say these folks just leave a ripple behind because I bet that's usually true. Like if a sociopathic person at work quits or gets fired - most people are glad that and to put up with their antics. No one wants to deal with that junk!

Thanks a bunch!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Jeannie - that's a great point! We do question ourselves I think if we start wondering about another persons integrity! I think it's almost funny how if a normal person encounters a sociopath - the normal person is more likely to be convinced they are the crazy one! Haha! But I think even asking ourselves "am I being not so nice or am I wrong here?" is normal. Sociopaths do not think they are abnormal ever! We are the crazies!

I loved the picture too! I was like oh look at that one! Lucky me! Hahahaha!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Ardie! Oh man - I do get sucked in too. That's ok though - I'd rather be a sucker once in a while than to be the opposite and have no caring feelings for other people. I think it's difficult for normal people to accept that we can be gullible. We WANT to believe the best about other people and I know when I meet someone I take them at face value. I don't start looking for things to be wrong but when things start going wrong...I even still think hey what am I doing wrong here? I think it's easier to blame the self than to believe other people really don't care if they hurt us. Be aware - these people are just about everywhere! (fade out with psycho music)!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Simone! I read what I could find about the etiology and everyone argues about it. Is a nature or nuture or biology? Like everything else - depends on who you ask!

Sociopaths are fascinating specimens! It is very odd - and how well they can hide it determines how far they get I bet. Many are master manipulators so I think it's how they get so famous. They are usually so darn charming:) lol.

I did find more interesting information about the history but I could not exactly find good enough documentation to confirm the info. Such as, they say that after Moral Insanity was coined they changed to the word Psycopath. Then after the movie Psycho came out - the negative stigma that all psychos had to be killers - made them try to sweeten it up a bit so they changed to Sociopath. Now it seems to be leaning toward a "result of Anti Social Behavor".

I wonder about the minds of some of our biggest thought of leaders,...and think surely they are charming! Haha! Thank you so much and thanks for the great links you provided also!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Lord! Let me edit! Hahaha! No you are NOT on that list! Not even one of you:). Ohhhh good point - the bullies! That should be a sign for parents to go get their kids some therapy. I know I'd be really upset if my child didn't care about hurting other kid's feelings. That would be cause for concern for sure!

Thanks so much for adding that...I'm going to be thinking about that question - very interesting observation Lord!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

Oh yeah... and I also had to say... John List... he does not look nice! I would definitely give him the crazy title. And I will let you borrow Max but you have to have him back by tomorrow! ;)


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

Wow.. I wish you would have published this hub a few months ago. Thank you for helping us recognize them. It is important for those of us who are not domineering leader types to learn about the dangers of being sucked into the sick and twisted world of a sociopath. If I see one I will RUN and I sure as hell won't drink the Kool Aid. Great hub!


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago

hahaha! Tammy..ops! Sorry RHW!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Tammy! LOL. That Kool aid? Tastes like crao slit it out! Lol lol. I know what you mean too - I thi k it is always important to take a peek on the other side. I'm just fascinated by human behavior and what motivates us to do the things we do! These types of people really are everywhere and avoiding them is probably the best course. If we get in too deep I think they confuse us so much we don't know which way is really UP! I know when faced with people like this I start to question my own self at first....it takes me a while to recognize signs and stuff. But hey - that's their claim to fame - being a great fooler! Live and learn and like I've said before - If a person somehow can make ou feel bad - there's a reason for it and we should make like a page and book! Hahaha! Thanks you are awesome:)


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

Whew! I passed the test! This is a really good and informative Hub, and should help those who read it avoid these toxic personalities in their lives. I really like the jobs list for that type too!


KeithTax profile image

KeithTax 4 years ago from Wisconsin

I couldn't help but think of an employee I had for 6 weeks while reading this hub. I also kept thinking a lot of salespeople fit a significant part of the profile. I guess there is a fine line between a sociopath and a well-adjusted person. Great hub. Very informative.


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK

Hmm, I seem to be fortunate since most people commenting here think they know a sociopath, and I cannot think of anyone I know that comes close to this description. I know people with some very serious mental illnesses, and worked with some pretty screwed-up kids when I was a teacher and worked in a unit for kids with social, emotional and behavioural problems, but they all turned out to have feelings and consciences underneath the bluster.

Still, this was a very interesting hub, and I hope I never meet a true sociopath! Also found Simone’s comment interesting…


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Well that isn't very sharing of you BBG! I mean you should at least give me a year! It takes three days just to drive to your house! Lol. Max can come back to you guys when he's like 13 - how's that? Fair enough? :-)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey no problem Lord:) you chat with Tammy here all ya want:) lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey xstatic - well I'm glad you passed the test too:) I'm not sure how really reliable it is - but it's fun. I think we all like to compare ourselves to a point to double check our own sanity! Haha! I had a few more jobs that could be added but really sociopaths are among us. The do every kind of job but - there are some occupations that would be well suited for this tyoe:) lol. Thanks so much for the read and comment!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Keith - interesting point - I think most of us do have contact with at least one person that fits those traits. Some people are more obvious than others. I did try sales - real estate - and I hated the whole selling end. In fact - I kept telling people why the house they were seeing might not be a good deal! Haha! Needless to say - I only sold one house and it was brand new! Hahaha! I couldn't find anything wrong there - but we got it inspected just in case:). Then I realized I would never make much money as a seller. I really loved showing homes though and looking at the ways people decorate! Lol

Thank you for the read and terrific comment!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Melovy, Melovy dear - it is so like you to not see anything bad or perceive someone is trying to trick you. I think you are one of the kindest writers - and mother and friend. I would be so interested to hear about your work with teaching too! Bet that was very interesting!

Yeah Simones comment has kept me thinking too - I think she's right too - I bet society DOES inference these kinds of thoughts. We want to label everyone - and out them neatly in a category. People are just different and while almost everyone says they love people being different - I SEE that isn't really true at all most of the time. At the end of the day - we all want to be one big group of people who are respected and well liked by our peers. I think - people want SAMENESS! You know? We complain when people don't react the way we want them to. Then we try to convince them why WE are right! Yeah very interesting to me indeed! Thanks so much - I love that you have not encountered someone like this...that is a good thing! Lol


JKenny profile image

JKenny 4 years ago from Birmingham, England

Phew! Passed the test, I'm not a sociopath, I'd hate to think that I wasn't aware of people's feelings. I've always considered myself to be emphatic towards people. Surprised to see Hitler isn't on that list, he was just as crazy as Stalin. Anyway, great hub. Voted up etc.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

I testing JKenny! Well glad you passed that test! Ha!

Ok I'll tell you why Hitler isn't on there...lol...Hitler had some feelings I thing. I think he was more of a psychopath...Stalin was offered a trade - his son for Hitler's nephew, right? Stalin said NO! He wouldn't even back down for the sake of his own son's life! Hitler - agreed to trade for his sisters son - there's feeling going on there in my mind. Hitler also committed suicide because he was devastated - I don't think people that kill themselves should qualify....but that is just my opinion :) lol.


writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

I'm so happy not to be out there any more looking for a date. With reading you great hub who knows who you've been link to. Voted up,useful an interesting.


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

Hahaha....first of all I am proud to announce that I am Not a sociopath. Phew!

Just reading about it...gave me shivers...gosh.

But honestly I know a few who r like the above examples in my life and NOW I realize why I don't like be around them...thanks for the awareness.

Loved the quiz. Although, I must admit I was very nervous prior to the testing. But, I was not in that 2percent category. Phew...TGIF ;)

Voted up as interesting and useful.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi writer20 - It is a scary world sometimes, I have thought about that. They say stuff like don't date people you meet on the internet! Are you crazy? You don't know them?" Well...how do we really know anyone when we first begin dating? If you meet them in a bar is that ok? Or a picnic? Or what if you meet them at a gun show? lol lol You know what I mean though - it doesn't really matter!

Thank you so much!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Funny Ruchira - I think everyone sees a little bit of themselves in these things...it's absolutely why I go ahead and turn the arrow on myself from the title forward. I think we all want to be this brand of "perfectly normal" but no one can even agree on what that is! We are all little bits of lotsa stuff I think - but look at your hub titles - in the topics you choose to cover and write about are not the thoughts of anything other than a lovely lady:) lol Personality is also constantly changing too! So I think sometimes the "path" we follow can be altered by so many variables.

Thank you so much for reading and commenting!


MoiraCrochets profile image

MoiraCrochets 4 years ago from Cagayan de Oro City, Philippines

What an interesting article! I've seen a lot of sociopaths on TV but have not experienced it in real life. Or maybe I had a bf who was a sociopath. Maybe he is a sociopath. So glad he's out of my life now.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

The definition for sociopath has John Edward's name written all over it. I don't understand the separation between narcissism and sociopaths, but they seem interlinked. Either way, Edward's is a certifiable prick! I would think most sociopaths inspire the same feelings in "normal" society.

You have true talent, RealHousewife, in the interesting topics and style you use to hit it out of the park every time. Every hub's a homerun! And in a baseball town, that's sayin' somethin'.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Interesting subject, Kelly, and you can see from the comments how interesting it is to your readers as well. Speaking as a professional (which I try not to do unless I am receiving generous compensation), if there is a genuine difference between a psychopath and a sociopath, that difference is difficult to distinguish. In fact there is ongoing dispute over what the differences really are. And several termas are used to describe an individual with an anti-social personality disorder: psychopath, sociopath and APD (antisocial personality disorder). See the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fondly called the DSM.

True sociopaths (I prefer that term) in general lack empathy and feelings for others. Whatever they believe and do is correct in their minds. For that reason, I think Hitler was a genuine sociopath as well as an accomplished actor. And I believe he committed suicide not from feelings of guilt but because he was a coward (displayed in his early years) and feared the result of his capture.

This is a well-researched and well-written hub. Voted up. BTW, I knew the answer to the clever quiz because I have 'implement'ed that 'color'ful question at the end of the video literally hundreds of times as a seminar ice-breaker. Thanks for the memory. :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Drbj - I just adore you! Thank you! Your comments are so appreciated - and I know your are a professional so I really like knowing what you think and have to add! Its thrilling for me! Lol

I know there is much arguing going on in the psychiatric community about several points. Like nature vs. Nuture or just causes in general. I do like the term sociopath! Lol. I wish they'd just leave it. I do think it's hard to tell the difference for anyone regarding their true label because really these kinds of people are so manipulative and lie - how do we really know? And isn't personality constantly changing as well?

Some people argue that Hitler was both - a psychopath and a sociopath but at different times?? I bet you're right - he was a good liar! And ah ha! Ok - I see what you mean - he offer himself not because he had real feelings but because he feared retribution from the world? Hmmmm! Yes interesting for sure! I also did not believe he really cared about his secretaries as some gave him credit for - I think he just used and abused them at will so I didn't give him credit there either! Lol.

I love that video! I saw it many years ago - I remebered how much everyone loved it too! That is a great icebreaker - and FUN!

Thank you VERY much for your interesting feedback!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Moira - thank you so much! Sociopaths are tricky devils:). They pretend to be like you and me and are very convincing! I hooe you do never run into one od these folks!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Haha! Hi Amy! Thank you St. Louis! lol. I just choose topics I find interesting and I'm pretty sure others will be too. So it's luck on most fronts! Hahaha!

John Edwards! Now ou might be onto something! He was something - not sure what but a cold, egotistical, selfish, looser. I felt so sorry for his wife! Poor lady:(. And you know Amy - now that you mention it - I bet many, many people in politics are sociopaths or narcissists! I need to add that to my list of perfect jobs! Hahaha! How did I ever leave that out? Bless you again!


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

Speaking of Hitler, he was a freaky fellow. He was a urophelliac. Goodness knows what else he was into. He wore his psychopath badge loud and proud.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

I got no notice of this hub. I finally went to Hubbers I follow and checked on missed hubs and here one is.

Simone's test said I am NOT a sociopath, but your video said I was because I thought of a blue spade instead of a red hammer. What's up with that?


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 4 years ago from Arlington, TX

RHW - Since I can't say anything nice about some sociopaths whose path I have crossed, I won't say anything.

Great Hub.

The Frog


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Started answering this comment and my iPad crashed! lol Hate when that happens!

He was so creepy Tammy - and I am so glad you mentioned it (Drbj has spoken - I am adding him to the list:) lol He was a crazy, crazy dude and for the life of me - I can not figure out HOW so many people were deluded by him. He got a whole country to follow his orders! A madman for sure!

Thank you so much Tammy:)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Lela - yeah I think they are doing some maintaining or some such stuff on HP? I thought it was just me. I didn't even get a notification I had comments! lol

I really do not think that video is an accurate summation of true personality or anything else other than comparing your first thoughts after tricking the brain into a diversion prior to the asking.

Dave said, blue spade! lol Laurel said "purple" and something else:) lol Laurel - is the most considerate and kindest kid I have ever known! She was always bringing kids over that needed some kind of assistance - food, money, clothes, a place to stay....I see her as very sympathetic and feeling:)

Lela - you aren't any kind of sociopath anyhow - your one of them brainyacks!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Oh Frog - well that is very nice of you! I wish you were the President of the United States! We need a guy just like you up in there:) Thank you so much Frog! You crack me up! lol


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

True story...guess who our paper boy was when I lived in Tacoma, Washington???? Can you guess??? Ted Bundy himself.

Excellent hub albeit a bit spooky!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Billybuc! Are you serious! LUCKY! LOL ok maybe not! Wow! Wow! I knew he was a paperboy - that's crazy! Everyone says he looks so charming - I think he looks creepy! Lol. He was a terrific monster though - all the cons he came up with - wearing a cast and stuff! Tricky sociopath!

Thanks - I do think these people are very spooky - you just never know what they are capable of! Thanks for adding that interesting comment! That's wild!


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

No they're not uncommon unfortunately, so true Kelly. Excellent article about them and steer clear is right. Their true selves will come out sooner or later. Also Kelly, did you know they even have their own forum and refer to the rest of us as "Empaths!"


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

You might say I am "dead serious." yes, he was, and I remember him for some reason...just a kid riding a bike with papers. Later I met his mother who worked at the college I attended to get my teaching credentials.


ptosis profile image

ptosis 4 years ago from Arizona

Good hub!

The three profiles of an exploiter are

* The Love Bomber

* The Helpless One

* The Equivocator

http://hubpages.com/t/14c4d5


suebee62 profile image

suebee62 4 years ago from South Carolina

Great Hub!!! This topic has intrigued me for awhile, only because I have a family member who fits the bill. Sad situation, but they have every trait...from the lies, the selfish only me attitude, to the apologizing and have burned all their bridges with family and friends. One thing I know, if you ask yourself the question Am I a Sociopath or Psychopath, then you are not. As they have no conscience and would never consider it is them with the problem, so it is you.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Alastar! Nk are you kidding? They have a forum? Wow! Now we are talking some serious organized sociopaths there! Wow! Thanks I'm going to check that out....empaths! Ha! So they've turned it around on us huh? Now it's feeling people that have the stigma? That's funny!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Billybuc - I that is so wild! I mean - he's just such a notorious criminal. I feel sorry for his mom - what an ordeal she must have gone through also. He is quite an intriguing fellow, no matter how mad he was. I also felt bad for his fiancé! Yep - there aren't many like him I tell you - even in the sociopath world he's special! Lol.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi ptosis - thanks I'm going to check that link out! That sounds about right...the adjectives say it all don't they? Lol


ThoughtMonkey profile image

ThoughtMonkey 4 years ago from United Kingdon

Very interesting reading. Although I do not dare find out if I am a sociopath. Just kidding.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thought Monkey - I don't think monkeys CAN be sociopaths! LOL. Thanks so much!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada

Kelly...

So...turns out...I'm not a sociopath although I like to think if I WAS a sociopath...I would use my sociopath(ing) for good and not evil.

Awesome job as always! Voting Up, sharing, all the polite things we do when we like other's hubs.

Thomas

PS...I love the list of job opportunities for sociopaths!


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

Very interesting..I think I have know a couple people who fits this description through the years. Kind of scary. great job in breaking down this information. I learned something new for sure!


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 4 years ago

I have known some con-artists here in the Fraser valley who do fit this description. Con-artists-not murderers like Ted Bundy. Ironic. Most sociopaths convicted of murder in places and eras where there was execution avoided that fate because they knew where other bodies are. I wonder if Ted Bundy would have gotten a life sentence had he not decided to defend himself. Great article.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey TS - haha! I've missed you! I saw your puppy face and laughed:) lol. You have that effect on me!

Thank you very much! I do also think I could handle being a sociopath...I could use it for good! Lol. I think I'd laugh a lot too. To bad this isn't like a thing you can request, you know? Next job interview for me is gonna go like this: "I'd like to only care about me, and not give a crap about the world so just make me president of everything!" lol.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Sunnie Day! Thanks - you know I bet we've u fortunately, all met a few like this. The trick is to fly under their radar! Lol. Don't be too friendly - and don't irritate someone like that...arms kength! That usually does the trick for me. If these sort can't get you all wound up - they move quickly to someone that can drag into their mud. The problem is - some are sooo good at it they really suck you in...I was really convinced I was the wrong person in my experience with one. It took me a couple of years to see that ugly pattern. I wish I had been wiser but live and learn hooefully, right? Lol. Thanks so much and I hope you are having a Sunnie day!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Flora! Oh man these kind of people are everywhere! It's a mentality. Good point about sociopaths getting away with murder! They might go to jail but to me - they erased a life and they should be put in jail for life doing the most boring job available. Ted Bundy was so unusual wasn't he? I do believe he was extremely intelligent and someone we should learn from. I mean how do the wires get crossed so badly? It does take all kinds but we could do without that kind!

Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!


zzron profile image

zzron 4 years ago from Houston, TX.

Hello RealHousewife, how are you today? This was very interesting.

I don't think I'm a psychopath or a sociopath. I don't think I could ever kill anyone, unless they really made me mad, and I'd have to be pretty mad! LOL.

I don't even like to spank my dog. So I just don't do it. I just say, look here Reno, I'm going to spray you with his girly perfume if you don't stop that licking! LOL.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Haha! Hi ZZ! How's it going? Did you switch jobs? How's the lovely wife? All good I suspect - because you are a great individual:) I could have told you - that you weren't a sociopath before you read this hub! Haha!

That's a great idea - I've got some Pink perfume - I'm trying that with my dogs! A haha! Thank you for that too!


schoolgirlforreal profile image

schoolgirlforreal 4 years ago from USA

Did anyone actually take the test? I said blue hammer!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey schoolgirl - yeah lots of people took the test:) hahaha I know because I heard about it all over my Facebook account! Hahaha and yeah - it's not really an accurate test - my daughter said purple hammer, my good friend Ardie said purple too! LOL. Now when my husband said "purple spade" I said "see you're a fruitcake!" hahahaha! It's amazing though how many people DO say red hammer. I did - but I had seen this years ago - I didn't think I remembered the answer but I must have - I know I didn't say red hammer the first time but it was long ago...so I just accepted that I'm not going to give standard answers and it's what makes me different from 98 percent of the population I guess! Wear it loud:) lol

No one wants to give away the answer in the comment section is why they aren't all spilling it! Haha! But - I figure if they have read to this point - it's too late!


zzron profile image

zzron 4 years ago from Houston, TX.

Thanks RealHousewife. All is good here, we are fine. It's funny that you mention did I change jobs? I will be starting with a different truck driving job next week still driving all over the country.

I've just been real busy lately on my previous driving job. Really busy but not making much money lately that's why I'm going to a different company.

I think you will like the perfume idea for your dog, he will smell like a flower! Better than stinky smell right? LOL.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey ZZ - that's awesome! I mean I know you'd rather be home based - but at least your making more money. I'd love to drive around the country but I'm sure everything gets old after a while. Good luck with the new job!!

I did just buy some new doggy shampoo - I hope it smells better than the last stuff! Lol


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

I have been behind on my reading for two weeks, and this is the first hub I wanted to read. In reading the descriptions, I had a specific person in my mind, and man oh man, I am so glad I RAN AWAY from that person!

Kelly, you spelled it out perfectly! It is after we get sucked in that we realize the damage that could be done or has been done. There has to be a chemical that is not sparking in the brain that causes people to be without a conscience. I think the chemical works overtime in my brain because I have so much empathy that I find myself taking on others' problems and trying to figure out ways to fix them... Wait, maybe that is just estrogen. LOL

GREAT HUB!!!


zzron profile image

zzron 4 years ago from Houston, TX.

Thanks RealHousewife, that's not necessarily true. Not all things get old if you know what I mean. I will always love chocolate ice cream and classic rock! LOL. One of these days I guess I'll get to be home more often. I really do enjoy the driving job and the travel but maybe in another year or so I'll be able to settle down at home. Hope your dog enjoys the new shampoo! LOL.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Yeah Good thing you did too - these kind of people will just use you and your emotions up. I think it fascinates them - many of them are puppet masters, you know? They pull all the strings.

I think it does have to do with brain function - or chemicals, something is lacking for sure. I am a fixer too - but I usually figure out when it's time to quit sooner or later:) lol. Thanks so much! Glad to see you out and about!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

True and hey ZZ - do you keep a camera with you at all times? I bet you have some cool picture albums!

My dog will probably run from me - they always do at bath time! Guess who always wins the battle? Me - because I also have the treat bag:) hahaha


lifelovemystery profile image

lifelovemystery 4 years ago from Houston, TX

I regret to say that I have known a few. Excellent hub.


Cyndi10 profile image

Cyndi10 4 years ago from Georgia

Great article. It's great to seem so many of our fellow hubbers are not sociopaths. They are such great liars because they believe the lie so strongly. Not good when you run into them, but they are around us with some degree atypical behavior more than we like to think. I think they are probably at their most charming when they want something from you. Enjoyed the read.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi lifelovemystery - I think it's appropriate to extend my apologies and my thanks at the same time here! Sorry you've known a few sociopaths but thanks for the great comment:) lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Cyndi10 - thank you so much! I think you're right on - they are everywhere and it's why there isn't a typical job they flock to - they are in every sector and every level in the social stratification system:) lol. And family members/extended family members - I've heard lots of people say "I have a cousin or brother, etc.,". Oh good point too - they are most charming when they want something in particular - even if it's simply your affection or forgiveness. It's part of their game! Not fun for the people that don't like to play those kinds of head games though! Thanks for the read and comment too!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

I can say I am not anything like that; but they are everywhere including on the Internet. I have bumped into a few of those and it really is very eerie! You wrote it and said it well. Thumbs up and definitely shared. :)


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

Your analysis is very interesting. I have met few sociopath in my life and I have always wondered what makes them the person they are. After reading your point of view, I think I will have better understanding.


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven

This is such a great informative hub! Sociopaths are scary people. Thank you for sharing!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi AEvans! Thank you so much! Yes, umfortunately, these tyoe of people are coy and very hard to spot but they are out there, like ticking time bombs! Lol. Sleep well:) hahah just kidding:) lol. I am exaggerating as usual!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Vinaya! Thank you - yeah I was pretty interested in the topic myself so I really enjoyed doing the research! So interesting to see what makes people tick, some stuff sounds really familiar and other stuff seems really extreme so there's a wide net!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi carolinemd21! Yes they are! But yet, everyone is fascinated with them too! Lol. I think we all are really wondering the big question - WHAT makes them think that way! The things they do are so foreign to a normal person that we want to know why? And in the back of our minds I think we all question...what am I?


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

RealHousewife – This is a brilliant hub describing a sociopath to a T….

I’ve met one for the first time in my life in 2010. An American, acting as a gospel preacher. A brilliant actor – a con-artist – and a compulsive liar, believing his own lies and regarding everybody else as liars planning to harm him. He did not care about anybody else, but himself, although he could act as if he would give his life for others. He never even displayed a feeling of true remorse. He made me laugh and cry, just to feel proud of himself because he was such a brilliant manipulator. I tolerated him for 53 days before I had him removed by the Police. Out of my house, out of my life, out of my country.

Sadly he is still the same person, manipulating and intimidating innocent people until they chase him away.

Only God knows why I feel so terribly sorry for him.

Congratulations with this superb article about sociopaths, RealHousewife. I am in awe of your writing skills :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Oh hold UP! Wait! Wait! Oh my goodness - after the day I had today - I am smiling so much right now after having read that comment!

Thank you SO much - I am such a fan of yours!

I was married to one...sadly. Many, Many (oh so many years ago) and I was very young. 22...I watched him and I tried so hard to figure him out...he was beautiful and a monster. Only one was real though. People gravitated toward this man, everyone thought he was such a prince! He even played Santa Claus in my childs Christmas play - went to church with me every Sunday and converted to Catholicism as I practiced. I fell - hook, line and sinker! I do still feel sorry for him too - and I don't know why! lol

I took a lot of psychology and sociology classes much later and I saw him in this section of the textbook! Really we should be glad for having the experience because you can spot them a mile away after you experience it I bet! lol

Thanks so much - you made my night:)


molometer profile image

molometer 4 years ago

What an interesting read.

I always wonder about vegetarians since I discovered Hitler was one too!

I also wonder if any sociopaths would read this? considering they think they are practically perfect in every way :)

I did see the red hammer too. Phew! that was a relief.

Great hub voted up and buttons.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi molometer! Thank you so much!

I do not think any sociopaths will read this...I think the audience my friend is in the people who think "could this be wrong with me?" (deep breath here)! lol Or someone who is finally getting a clue about prince or princess charming:)

I have always felt that the people that THINK there might be something wrong with them are usually perfectly normal....it is the vast majority of those who can not believe there is a thing wrong with them - that are usually the crazies! lol


mikeydcarroll67 4 years ago

Wow! I think it's scary that I can see some of those traits in myself......maybe I should check in with a psychologist and get those checked out. But it was a well written hub and I enjoyed reading it!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi mikeydcarroll67 - in that case, fine sir, there is no worry for you! If you feel fear of being this way - I bet you aren't! Lol. Obviously - you have feelings;) lol. Don't fret - if you read it and didn't even see one thing of yourself in it - I'd say THAT was denial. We all are normally a bit of a sosh...that's human nature - but if you stop caring about your personality and how you appear to others? Then it's time for the treatment! Haha! Thanks so much!


mikeydcarroll67 4 years ago

Hahaha! Yea I got a lot out of it :) I think we all go through phases where we don't care about things but hopefully we don't stay that way for long!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Exactly mickeydcarroll67 - you absolutely have no worries:) lol. I always say I have sociopathic tendencies! And seriously - sometimes I am sure it is how we all behave. The difference is - you know the difference and I can even tell just from one or two sentences from you - you care about your self - you don't want to be a sociopath - so you aren't or you wouldn't care! Lol lo. Thanks again!


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

I knew someone a few years ago that I am quite sure is a sociopath. Your hub is very informative. Glad I don't meet the criteria!


Mlssilva profile image

Mlssilva 4 years ago from Figueira da Foz

I'm relieved, I'm not sociopath! I feel empathy for others, and if I hurt someone, I feel guilty and remorse. Unfortunately I think I've known some. Very good article, very interesting!


clintonb profile image

clintonb 4 years ago from Adelaide, Australia

That's kind of interesting..never heard of something like this before..at least in detail..


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Oh sorry about that Pamela99! Was it me? haha

Thanks so much and I too, and glad you didn't meet the criteria! lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Misssilva - I am glad you are not a sociopath too! lol Yeah guilt and remorse are pretty much not in a sociopaths vocabulary - and I doubt it is something that would ever even occur in their heads!

Thank you so much!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi clintonb - thank you so much! I bet now that you have read a little more - you are going to start recognizing the signs in people! LOL Always seems that after something is brought to our attention - we suddenly see it everywhere! I hope not for your sake! lol


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Hey Kel ~ I am happy to confirm that I am not a sociopath. But the problem is that I think I might attract them, ugh! That just can't be a good thing either? I do believe I'm learning to get rid of them quicker. But I have had a few for sure in my life unfortunately. You really have to be careful though to not piss them off. Cuz they will back stab and think nothing of it. That recently happened with someone on FB who is also an HP writer. These people truly have no remorse and even act as the victim which is really disgusting. They will just keep pushing their evil venom on you and others and will not stop. I think you might know who I am talking about. They are very good at the game they play acting as if they are a great friend and care about you. It is very sad that the reality is that they only care about themselves and whatever benefits them. Thank you for a well written hub. Voting & sharing too!

Sharyn


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 4 years ago from Minnetonka, MN

The irony of it all- I was just talking about the ex and then sis tells of this hub- I graduated with a graduate degree in ccounseling psych- this hub is FACT---GREAT JOB==I married one of these and for years thought it was me- now his second wife served him & we support each other and define the Real Reality------ I know I'm not one cuz i stayed 13 friggin years-ugh


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota

OMG-I just read this article to my twin sister who was married to one (sociopath) for thirteen, exhausting years. It was hard for her to wrap her head around the concept of no empathy or in her words, "no soul or feelings." I believe her kids and their safety were a huge motivator in her leaving. She writes on hubpages and just wrote a poem about him and his emptiness and evil ways. You did a fantastic job on this and this coming from someone with not only a personal account but a Master's degree in Psychology. You were right on with this description.


Lady Wordsmith profile image

Lady Wordsmith 4 years ago from Lancaster, UK

Hmm. I did not pass the test. Yet I am pretty sure that I am not a sociopath, lol!

Super-informative hub. What a great read, about something that I really did not know anything about. I'm now wondering if I have any sociopaths in my life, and I can only think of one. But then I'm not sure if she's really sociopath, or just more of a downright liar - I'm guessing that not all liars are sociopaths?


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

I worked with/for a true sociopath. She was scary ans totally self involved. Nothing or no one mattered but her own wants. She even had an affair with her daughter's fiancé, let her marry the man and continued the affair. When sheremarried, she wore the daughter's wedding dress. I believe this woman could kill somebody and never lose a moment's sleep.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Sharyn! Sounds like you have run into a sociopath a time or two:). I sure have it's no fun dealing with them. You can't predict what they are going to do next and sometimes what comes next can be dangerousnor hurtful. Right - these people have ZERO remorse...and so you can't know whatball is going on in their little heads because our thoughts wouldn't go to the same places as theirs. No second guessing!

Thank you so much for the votes and shares:)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Healhing touch - oh I am so sorry! Thirteen years? Wow - well you get an A+++ for effort:). Lol. I know my first husband has this going on...and the good sociopaths - the ones that really are? They are so good at it - of course we think it's US! It took me a long time to really understand how manipulation works. These people are just great at turning tables - and being rational people we try to make everything better! We take it upon oursellves to "try harder"! Lol. Of course that will never work with this tyoe:). Their unfulfilled selves will keep trying to fill up using your emotions.

Thank you so much for the comments! I do a ton ofmresearch for these - and I use YouTube - videos - scientific abstracts (no yahoo answers or wikipedia material) lol. I usually know a few people todraw from as well! Uh oh! Lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Minnetonka! Oh cool - I know now who your sis is! While I am so sorry she had to live with one! Yikes! And for such a long time! Oh gosh - I was only married to my sociopath for about 2 years....he was about 7 years older than me but I think i was smarter than he gave me credit for in his own mind. For the first few years I really bought everything he said! I've always been a person who looks for patterns...there are patterns to everything including and under the sun! My ex had a cycle and after a few trips around the block I saw it. One of his major problems was he didn't want me to finish my degree so he'd argue with me every time I tried to study. Finally I knew I had to choose - him or the diploma. I got the diploma and girl I am soooooo glad!! I shudder to think I might have been convinced to quit ... And I wonder where I'd be now?? So thank gosh we all know better now!!

Delightful to see you both here!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Lady wordsmith - no lol not everyone has a psych disorder. I think we all have little bits of stuff - some smack of sociopaths or pathological liars but usually they are not all of one thing or another. Personality is a very interesting thing to me and i really do not thinkmwe can neatly package people as one label or another.

The main thing to watch out for - are those people who do not have feelings or are willing to mess with yours. These people would kiss you on the cheek and stab you as fast as you turn around! They don't have feelings for anyone - not even kids or animals. No true affection - except for themselves. These tyoe of people would just as soon knock you out and use your body as a ladder to reach their next goal! and most of them - know how to pretend to have real feelings and they use them against unsuspecting people whomdo feel. Good luck and if you start to wonder about someone? Look to the past - who is in their life now that has been there for a long time? Do they have friendships that are old....? Family? These people tend to not have long relationships that are healthy.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Wow Hyphenbird! The sad thing is - I know there are many more jet like the woman you describe. It IS scary - because these people look just like you and me (sometimes way better too because they LOVE themselves and will spend lots of money to show you how GOOD they look!). It's fascinating and horrible to see! I just can't understand it - and as much as I study it I guess I won't because I can't imagine not caring about how other people feel!

That lady - oh her poor child! Man I have a daughter that is 23 - I can't imagine! I'm surpassed that lady didn't eat her young! Looks like she's making up for that now!

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!


klarawieck 4 years ago

I've met two sociopaths in my life and love them to death... although I keep my distance because they are dangerous if kept too close. This is a great article. Thanks!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

HI kiarawieck - that's hilarious! Haha I had to look and make sure you weren't a friend of mine being silly:) lmao! Yes isn't it interesting that usually there's only one in a group because they don't get along well together? Lol.

I've known a couple (well I think:) and it's really entertaining but yeah I would offer to let them sleep on the sofa:) haha! Thanks so much! Got a good chuckle:)


klarawieck 4 years ago

Yeah, seriously... Have you seen the series "Raising Hope?" Well, one of them is just like the mother of baby Hope - she insists on marrying these perfectly normal guys and the day after the wedding she turns into an ogre, wrestles them to the ground, handcuffs them and puts them in jail. She's an ex-cop. But it's okay... they're safer in jail.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hahahaha! I've never seen that show Kiarawieck but now I want to! LOL.

Yeah I'd love to have a friend like that - I'd carry a video with me everywhere! How funny - now I'm wondering why she's an EX cop:) lol


holyjeans30 profile image

holyjeans30 4 years ago from Mostly in My Own Little World

OMG lol. Is there an answer key for this test? I took it and it said I was a "high functioning sociopath". This just can't be so!!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi holyjeans30 - No! Those quizzes can not be believed! Don't worry! lol Especially the video tape - if you are a high functioning sociopath - congrats - you probably have a pretty cool life! haha Just kidding - you know what - if you really were a high functioning sociopath - you wouldn't care about any test:0 lol


EuroCafeAuLait profile image

EuroCafeAuLait 4 years ago from Croatia, Europe

Wow ... I held my breath while reading this article from start to finish. This is just what I was looking for - a family member seems to fit this profile to a "T"! I like your great presentation like "what to do - RUN" and the knife dripping blood. Ay-yi-yi. Very effective. Going now to take the test, though I personally don't think I am an S. (More like an "S"-magnet!) Thanks again - voted up and Acrossssss......Ssshared, too!


holyjeans30 profile image

holyjeans30 4 years ago from Mostly in My Own Little World

Oh that's true, I didn't think about that ;) lol.


ksinll 4 years ago

Fascinating topic!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi EuroCafeAuLait - I am not surprised. I am sure lots of people know these type of individuals - unfortunately! And they do tend to just leave trails of mass destruction in their wake so avoidance is probably best if you can take that route. I guess limiting the damage is as good as it gets sometimes:) Good luck!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi holyjeans - yeah sociopaths would not "feel" concern or worry about anything! LOL You are in the clear since you got all freaked out! hahaha!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi ksinli - thank you - I agree!


greekwarrior profile image

greekwarrior 4 years ago from Sylvania, Ohio, USA

blue saw, guess i'm a sociopath!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

lol @ you greekwarrior - that video means nothing:) My husband said something totally off the wall and I still allow him to sleep in the bed beside me. I even close my eyes:) haha!


mythicalstorm273 profile image

mythicalstorm273 4 years ago

Hmmm... very interesting information. Oddly enough I only recognized a few of the names you listed. I must not be very well versed in sociopath history! I will have to catch up, but at the moment I am running out of time and only want to say another detailed and interesting hub! You always seem to do a great job with the details of what could be a boring topic or a fascinating topic such as this!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Myth! You are such a great commenter! I am really interested in what makes a person a sociopath or whatever else - the mysteries of the brain! What breaks to make a person be able to say - kill another person and then eat a sandwich? What part breaks? If only we knew! Thank you so much!


Virtual Treasures profile image

Virtual Treasures 4 years ago from Michigan

I love reading your hubs! I have this one linked to at least five of mine that are actually a "sociopath" series. You are an excellent writer!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Virtual Treasures - and thank you so much! I really appreciate the read, comment and link - especially the comment though! Makes my weekend!


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India

Enjoyed reading this hub.

It is scary to know that sociopaths cannot be easily identified.

Thanks for sharing this.


sen.sush23 profile image

sen.sush23 4 years ago from Kolkata, India

How did I come so late to this Hub? Now I have nothing new to add- but it was new and interesting to me. Enjoyed reading it. I am not a sociopath, and thankfully, I couldn't think of any I knew. Voted up and away.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi thumbi7 - thank you so very much!


k2jade31 profile image

k2jade31 4 years ago from Idaho

Very interesting read! Well done~


Hendrika profile image

Hendrika 4 years ago from Pretoria, South Africa

I enjoyed your hub. I always wondered about how a sociopath feels and thinks.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Hendrika - thank you! I have always been interested in them too - what makes them tick? How do people get to be a sociopath? Idk? But it's fascinating:) lol


jokerjr 4 years ago

HAHAHAHAHA I always knew I must be a psycho...I said black saw!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

That's so funny...my husband still perturbed that he didn't "get it right"...lol. I told him he was crazy!

Thanks for the commet!


Lovelovemeloveme profile image

Lovelovemeloveme 4 years ago from Cindee's Land

Love the well written, informative article. Good job! I wonder how they live. To live a whole lifetime being their one and only love. That's a lonely world.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi lovelvemeloveme..thank you!

That's a very funny and clever comment! ha! So true - and I was just telling someone last night - when I split up with my first husband...I told him I finally figured out our problem....I loved him and he loved him MORE!! haha


jdmovieluver 4 years ago

is this 'quiz' for real? I know I have some characteristics of a sociopath, but does me not saying red hammer really mean I am one?


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey jdmovieluver - the fact you are concerned about that answer - tells no you're problaly not! Lol.

NO!that test doesn not mean anything really, it's interesting that people mostly choose "red" and "hammer" but doesn't mean a thing if you don't. My husband answered like "blue" and "wrench" I'm still sleeping next to him with my eyes closed:)

Thank you for the comment and yeah, you're just fine and I'd bet the farm on that:) lol. We all worry and that's normal - if you didn't care....well you might have a bigger problem!


Charlie29199 4 years ago

I thought of an orange hammer. Am I a psychopath?


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 4 years ago from Bishop, Ca

Sometimes my hubby drives me nuts, does this Hub pertain to me?? Oh, and I hope you ran!!!

PS: Good to see you here, girl, and 'tis a wonderfully researched Hub you've written. I seem to be obsessed with the crazies among us.

L


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Laurel - I think this hub pertains to me!!! Hahaha I mean I am the one that goes around saying I invented my own rules and even religion:) lol.

Oh yeah, I ran and I can still run pretty fast! Hahah


Ruth Pieterse 4 years ago

Good hub. Voted up and interesting.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you so much Ruth Pieterse!


Mr Crimxen profile image

Mr Crimxen 4 years ago from New Hampshire

I love this Hub and it's very informative. I'm glad I read it thank you.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you Mr. Crimxen! I really appreciate the comment:0


samnashy profile image

samnashy 4 years ago from Australia

Great hub, very interesting.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi samnashy! Thank you so much!


KellyMediaBest profile image

KellyMediaBest 4 years ago from Tampa, Florida

I had a friend in mind when I read the title of this post, and as I kept reading I was nodding along as he possesses many of the qualities you described. The hardest part about knowing a sociopath is that they are so convincing and repeat the "lie-convince" cycle over and over. My friend, who I believe may have this condition, really does make others feel a certain way when his actions say differently. It's really bizarre and quite scary.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi KellyMediaBest - thank you! I know a few people were hearing sirens in their heads while reading this:) lol. My sister has a new BF and I swear I see tendencies in this guy! She picks all the idiots:) lol. So charming...they know JUST what to say...and if they Are caught telling lies...no embarrassment! They just start a new one...yeah that's the ticket:)

I'd suggest you steer clear of those people. My mom always said..."I'd someone gives you a weird feeling...there's a reason for it...pay attention to it!


starbright profile image

starbright 4 years ago from Scandinavia

That was bizarre, scary and fun all in one. We've probably all come across people with these traits at one time or another, perhaps without realizing it. That was a really good read and a lot of food for thought. Creepy. Voted up and useful!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi star bright! Thanks so much! Now just avoid the people that remind you of this:) lol


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 4 years ago from The Beautiful South

Great write. The scariest thing is they are all around us and the ones who don't really know them personally can be so fooled. It is almost like they are not human but look at humans to act like them and really have no soul. It is a very sad thing, really besides being very serious.

Sharing.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Jackie - you are so right! They almost devour humans like they aren't one. It is really hard to understand on a deep level how they become so unattached to people. I also wonder if there are more sociopaths now than in decades past due to our screwed up cultural ideas about image and things? I suppose that would really be a reflection of environment and nature and nurture.

I recently heard that there was a question that is asked and the answer can predict if we think like psychopaths.

The scenario (and I'll lay it out roughly - (I can't remember the exact words) because it is interesting) is that a guy goes to a brothers funeral and he meets a woman he has never met before. He falls in love with the essence of her but doesn't get her number or contact information. He goes home and kills his brother. Why did he do that?

You are supposed to consider that type scenario and then state why you think he would do that. I was perplexed and really thought it had to do with him thinking his brother would cheat with the female. The expected answer from a psycopath is that "he accidentally met her at a funeral so he was trying to recreate the scenario so he could meet her again."

Now forgive me for getting it jumbled but I do think that research proved that psychopaths answered that question in a very similar manner!


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

Scary, but true--there are more of them out there than we realize--and sometimes we can realize it too late--steer clear when you get that vibe--


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

It is so true! And I have heard many medical doctors that agree that even though we can't explain why someone gives us the heebie jeebies - instinct and gut feelings are usually there for a reason! Pay attention to those!


Kalux profile image

Kalux 4 years ago from Canada

Very interesting! I'm sure I've had a few in my past! Voted up!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Kalux - thank you so much! I bet without a doubt you have seen the likes of one of more of these people by the time you get out of Kindergarten! lol


lovedoctor926 4 years ago

Excellent hub! You have made very good points. Definitely not a psychopath. I care about other people feelings.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi lovedoctor - I woulda guessed that about you! Of course you do! I too care a lot about other people...I really try to remember that this whole world isn't all about me and my issues. I do know a few people - if they aren't having a good day stay outta the way because you won't either:) lol


miscellanea profile image

miscellanea 4 years ago from Morocco

It's so nice how you analysed these people :) hehe excellent!

and very good point, very deep analysis


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 4 years ago from USA

I got chills as I read this hub and started to think of a few people I know that skim the edges of these personalities (and those that have it). I have to agree that if they give off creepy vibes it is time to steer clear of them if you can. You did an awesome job here!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you miscellanea! I had fun writing this one up and it's my best performer! Who knew?


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Good to see ya Tip! Thanks and yeah stay away from the people that give you that creepy vibe you just can't explain. The other day my girl was home sick and I had an electrician coming over. I told my husband I scratched my plans because I wasn't going to leave my 11 year old alone with a stranger. Thank Gosh I don't trust people:) lol. My dog was acting SO WEIRD around that guy...Peanut was barking like crazy, growling at him - he NEVER does that. I told Dave I think the dog knows something we don't! They have great sense of character don't they?


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 4 years ago from USA

Agreed, mine is part Lhasa, which are guard dogs for the Dali Lama. When she starts to growl or act strange around someone, I tune in. You never know what type of people you could be dealing with. She lets me know who she likes and doesn't like. One time I was talking to a friend and she started to growl. This friend liked dogs, but something was off about him. Come to find out, the friend liked to torment kids as a joke. Nothing we would see as really mean, but something was there that the dog picked up on. She didn't trust or like him. It made me look twice at the friend.

It is sad when people like this could be part of your family. What can you do besides be polite, but keep your distance?


mensagal 4 years ago

I recently married a sociopath. I had known him for a couple years before I agreed to date him, but when we started dating, the "connection" was amazing. I now realize he was just pretending to like what I liked to make me feel like we had a lot in common. When I actually asked him to do the things we had in common, he became agitated. I saw some odd behaviors and red flags before the marriage, but as soon as we were married, the abuse and insane behavior became very intense. He was exploding into rages all day, blaming me for his behavior, screaming, yelling, name-calling, cussing, driving erratically and worse. The tiniest little things would set him off. He became controlling and jealous and changed my phone number so my friends couldn't reach me. He hacked into my email and Facebook accounts and a few others and read through all my messages before deleting the people he didn't like--people who were worried for me and telling me to leave. He put a keystroke logger on my computer and stalked my every online move. He'd scream and go crazy then yell at me for crying. He became physically abusive 22 days into the marriage. When we went to therapy, he was abusive to the therapist. His charm completely disappeared with me, but there are still "friends" of ours who think I'm making everything up because he's charming in person in short bursts. I haven't even been married for two months, but we've been apart about half that time. I have never met anyone so insane with no conscience.

This sociopath has a terrible job history because he can't control himself at work. However, he stays in the aviation industry so he can fly for free. He goes all over the country to have sex with women. Some he leads on for months, some he dumps right away. Several of them have contacted me about the hell they went through. I wish I'd never married this guy.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Yeah it does sound like you married a sociopath! If I were you I'd try to get it annulled or divorce papers!

I don't think some people really GET how easy it is for a true sociopath to mess with normal people. My first husband HAD to be a sociopath, he really did. I'm not sure he would argue that point. But listen I did think he was as normal as the day is long. VERY charming, good looking and suave. Had a good job (plumber) worked underground interestingly:) lol. In fact he is probably the reason I got so interested in psychology. I wondered many times how I could have been taken in so easily. I was naïve. No doubt. But I truly believed he was who he portrayed. Is like getting sucker punched when the doors close and you find out everything was a facade,

I felt so dumb...like how did I MISS the clues and they were there...believe me. Hindsight is 20/20. After many years and many classes I do think I understand. I think he was just really GOOD at game playing. I wasn't playing games, therefore didn't realize I was on the board:). I bought every lie, excuse, guilt trip and manipulative move he made. I was easy for him. I didn't suspect. I thought people and ALL of them said what they meant I didn't realize some people can look into your eyes and lie so well you'd believe it. I did believe everything he said! I was only 22 though:) lol. Whew - glad I caught on to his tricks. He didn't want me to finish college or anything! He decided I didn't need a degree anymore I was just gonna be a wife. He was the man. Seriously he said that to me too.

The best thing I ever did was walk away and not look back. I just saw him recently. So glad still I took a walk. It was difficult to leave,, start over and be on my own but it was worth it. I survived and found a guy who truly is "all that!" Good luck to you too!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Oh Tip, you said that. There isn't much but at least if we are aware....we know like not to leave out kids alone with people who ate our neck hair standing:) lol. I am so glad my dogs seem to have a 6th sense - like they are saying privately "watch out for this guy!" Haha

I was just showing off to my girls that I've been training my three dogs to sit quietly - simultaneously! It's so hilarious! Apparently, I'm the only one who is all excited about that here:) haha


actionbronson profile image

actionbronson 4 years ago

I think I've come across a couple different people who could be coined a "sociopath". I've taken an abnormal psychology course and the percentage in a varies by geological positioning or "city". Could be up to 5% or more. The socioeconomic health plays role in determining mental health. Great Question. I voted up.


PsycologyPHD 4 years ago

based on the information provided .. the author of this article is clearly by his own definition a sociopath


Angelino 4 years ago

I'm so glad I stumbled onto this site! Just what I needed to read. Thank God for the internet!

My personal (but uneducated) experience has lead me to believe that some sociopatic behavior may develop as early as before age 5. I'm 54 now. Being raised close in age to my sister who was born 14 months prior, the contant drama and turmoil that she has caused, and witnessing how she is distroying our family now, I'm convinced that she's a sociopath.

I was told by my mother that my grandmother said that my sister had her nose pushed out of joint when I was born. I can actually say that she never got over it and I became her main "project" while we were growing up. She was a chatty, smart and gregarious child. I was very quite and shy and she "mothered" me from a very young age. Meaning, she talked for me and bossed me around. We were definitely two sides of a coin. I didn't know how to express myself until I got older. Unfortunately, my parents were very young parents (17 & 20) and they didn't know what they were doing and didn't pick up on the cues until she was about 18 or 19 in my mother's case and more recently in my father's case.

Since her and I lived into a "back" house by ourselves (there were 3 kids and only two bedrooms in the "front" house) when we were 13 and 14 years old, I heard and saw firsthand her lying to her friends and boyfriends, and then try to use me to back-up her lies. If not for those years, I may not have been so good at spotting this behavior myself as she was (and appears to still be) quite sophistocated. She also used (herself and others) sex and was pregant by the time she was 13. I felt at that time that it was her way to get the boy she liked, however, she cheated on all of her boyfriends, and her husband, and also came on to anyone that I liked and a long-time boyfriend. She was very pretty and had a very nice figure and I noticed that she used these very traits to manipulate others, both male and female. Later on, both my mother and I suspected that she slept with some of her (my sister's) friends' boyfriends and husbands...all the while her friends (the girlfriends and wives) thought she was the greatest. She has had some of these friends for years and quite frankly, I do not understand how they can believe the "stuff" she dishes. She has played the victim to gain sympathy...a wolf in sheeps clothing.

When I was younger I was seriously afraid of her. I cannot explain the fear, but she seemed to control everyone, including my mother and father so I was always in trouble for things I did not do and they would not listen to me. She obviously dogged me to others, but I never knew what she said that made people not like me. I would hear things like..."you really don't know her." Like I was a bad person or something. At least part of it, I believe, was fueled by a great deal of jealousy and envy.

After I moved out on my own she would call me and tell me things like our father was talking about me in a negative way, or something else to try to upset me. She has never stopped trying to do these stupid emotionally stunted things and even in our 50's! She would quickly manipulate an innocent situation and say that I did something to her. My parents were there but as always oblivious to what she's trying to do. My thoughs were that she's really saying..."see, she's being a bad girl, she doesn't know how to behave!" Which, I find totally hysterical at our age, but, my family gets sucked in.

Whenever I thought that maybe we could have a sister relationship she would suck me in then beat me down! Finally, the last straw happened when I drove to her house an hour away on Christmas day about 5 years ago. Within 1/2 hour she focused on me and that was it, I picked up my bag and left. I never felt better and did not see or talk to her for the next 5 years.

You might ask how this all has affected me. Well, as I indicated I was shy and quite, so I observed a lot. There was quite a bit of unhealthy family dynamics going on other than that, my mother was beautiful and was very vain, and both parents were pretty self-centeredness, etc. I thought that everyone was crazy, but my little brother, who I tried my best to protect. I tried not to focus on the situation (actually, this is the simplified version!), I was pretty, smart, and very creative (but still quite shy). By the time I was 18, I knew how to sew and tailor (winning 2nd place in a citywide contest for adults sponsored by the Broadway), drew, painted, airbrushed, did ceramics and silversmithed, and taught myself batik, then went on to major in fashion design. And, a few of the healthy things that my family participated in was hiking, camping and racing which my father did (motorcycle) as a serious hobby. They had a lot of friends and we went to their houses and grew up with their kids. Plus, I had 2 sets of grandparents for all of my teen life, and good part of my adult life who loved me unconditionally.

Unfortunately, our mother now has Alzheimer's and while I was helping my mother out with her personal needs, my sister was busy getting power of attorney without anyone's knowledge. She is making a very difficult situation worse...but I realize that even though I do not want to be in the frey, I need to protect my mother, and her assets that should be used for her care, not for my sister's verbalized greed. She unwittingly told me that she was going to see if she could legally put my mother's property in her name (she's a real estate agent) and split it three ways between my brother, her and I. That was alarming. Sometimes I really think she does not get what she verbalizes, or that she doesn't get that what she says makes her so totally transparent.

I know this is a lot...however, this IS the nutshell version!


Music-and-Art-45 profile image

Music-and-Art-45 4 years ago from USA, Illinois

I've known a few sociopaths in my life your article describes them perfectly. Very informative, thanks for writing this.


raincitygirl profile image

raincitygirl 3 years ago from Vancouver

Pretty interesting. Good to know I'm not a sociopath!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thanks actionbronson! I really enjoyed writing this one up and I am glad you did too:) Thanks so much for the comment.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi PsycologyPHD - well since you choose to diagnose me from reading one article which was based on true research and just having fun with it - I am not sure I would value your opinion all that much. Seriously.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Angelino - well I am very glad you liked the article and if it helped you that is great. Sociopaths can apparently vary in degree and I really do think we all exhibit some amount of this behavior. Sounds like you are convinced your sister is of that serious type. I hope that you can find a good way to deal with the fall out but according to statistics there isn't much you can do if someone is a true sociopath.

Thank you and good luck!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thanks Music and Art 45 - ! I had lots of fun writing it!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

You don't look like one either raincitygirl! I can tell! lol

Thank you so much!


gail641 profile image

gail641 3 years ago from Mason City

Very interesting article on sociopaths. I sure wouldn't want to be one. They sounds really scary, especially the ones who are serial killers. Ed Gein sure was strange!!! The other serial killers were strange, too!!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Yeah I think we all share that sentiment. That is why this is my most popular article. I do believe most normal people have moments where they behave in Aya that are contrary to their own beliefs. Then they start to question "what's wrong with ME?"

Every single person in this world has moments they wish they could erase or take back. Humans do things to be sorry for but it doesn't make us sociopaths. Not unless we are feeling-less or constantly hide aggressive behavior and play like we're real sweet, you know? Lol. Everyone thinks if they have a moment of personal behavior that may not be a proud moment, it makes them something abnormal - it doesn't!

One day I don't know what I did, maybe I was rude to someone in a moment of haste and I thought to myself, "Dam I must be a sociopath or something!" Realizing everyone has a moment t like that - I wrote this. It's been viewed almost 20,000 times in less than a year....you're normal! Hahaha


vespawoolf profile image

vespawoolf 3 years ago from Peru, South America

I've often wondered about the difference between a sociopath and psychopath. I'm sure I've known at least one sociopath--the cycle of harmful behavior, lying, deception, etc is all so confusing for the victim. This is a great hub. Thanks!


DanaTeresa profile image

DanaTeresa 3 years ago from Ohio

This is a great article. So much good information written in an very interesting and understandable way. That is a huge plus! It is no good if you present info that no one can understand or that they wont want to read. You grab the reader with the title, fascinate them with interesting facts, educate them with information, and make it all relatelable. GREAT JOB!

I am fascinated by psychology and sociology - Criminal Minds is my favorite TV show. I loved learning more about sociopaths.... After reading this I am starting to think that my mother might be one. She is not a criminal, she is not mean, but she is certainly not the type to put anyone before herself or worry about the rules.....

I took the quiz. I said purple hammer. Does that make me half sociopath? That seems pretty accurate.

Thanks for a fabulous article!.... Happy New Year.

After reading this,


grimnope 3 years ago

Hi, I am a clinically recognized sociopath, and I would like to say that while several things in this article are true, this is largely nonfactual. Yes, as a sociopath I am incapable of feeling empathy. I would eat that last apple. However, you seem to not know that there is a huge difference between a sociopath and a psychopath. It's in the names themselves- psychopath translates to (in latin) "Mind Disease", while sociopath translates to "Social Disease". This means I have trouble connecting with other people and imagining what they're going through, but I couldn't kill a person without being destroyed by the same guilt as you. A psychopath is someone who doesn't feel any emotion at all (or severely reduced emotion). As such, I personally feel offended by this. And, as one of the people this article is attacking, I hope you do more research on your next topic.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi vespawoof - the differences are arguable between Psycopaths and Sociopaths...some shrinks will say there are none. With Psyco babble one can twist and change and argue this or that - either way stay away from anyone with those traits!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Very funny Dana - half a sociopath? Lol. Good one!

I still think a person would have to really take tests with a psychologist to determine if they are a true sociopath. Truly the term is tossed around now like its meaningless. I am fascinated by the true sociopaths though and while they are hard to spot they are out there.

The test is a complete joke though! Don't sweat it! Haha. My husband didn't even get close to saying red hammer and I still sleep with my eyes closed:)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Grimnope....congratulations on being a sociopath. Take your meds and settle down. I wasn't attacking anyone in this article so back off.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Also to Grimnope - if you truly were a sociopath...you would NOT feel offended. Looks like you aren't a sociopath after all! Do your homework.,,sociopaths DO NOT have feelings as you say "you'd be destroyed by feelings of guilt". Looks like your shrink ripped you off!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Gail641 - I would NOT one to be one either...no guilt but no joy either. They are very scary and smart. They know how to "look" just like you and me.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 3 years ago

Oh my god I said blue hammer , Am I close ?....lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

You are about as close as my husband was and he don't scare me:) LOL Yeah you are all good - it's just a funny test and doesn't mean anything really, I don't think:)

It does make me wonder why so many people choose the red hammer (I didn't btw) but it's just a curiosity more than anything. Thank you!


sociopathic1 3 years ago

I believe that I am, after reading everything here. I'm extremely impulsive. I'm impatient. I'm a little paranoid. I have a dislike of crowds and social situations. I can dress sharp and fit in when I need to. I enrolled and dropped classes in college. I've been told I have high intelligence but I had little patience and got bored easily. I do like to gamble and am spontaneous. Yet, I'm different in a few ways. I realize I have issues and want to correct them. Also I do not have a murderous bone in my body, I love animals and I have a small group of close friends. I also have worked in the mortgage industry for six years at one company. My health coverage covers everything. I plan to seek help. I am single at an age when many others are married and on their second or third child. It's like I have my face pressed against the glass of a world I wish to be a part of, but cannot be, like I'm watching my body from outside my body.


sociopathic1 3 years ago

you say 'sociopath' like it's a bad thing. Embrace your inner 'sociopath'..Would anyone like some kool aid, I'm fixing a batch?...kidding!


Conservative Lady profile image

Conservative Lady 3 years ago from Surprise Arizona - formerly resided in Washington State

You had me worried with the "Red Hammer" test - all I could come up with was "silver wrench" makes me want to look in to that a bit more. Very interesting Hub.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Sociopathic1 - it sounds like you might be a little hard on yourself here. First of all...the mortgage industry could drive the whole world crazy:). Lol. Congrats for hanging in so long - it's a hard business to work in day after day.

I am not a psychologist so I would urge you to go speak to one. There's absolutely no shame in that. I went to counseling after my divorce for two years for gods sakes. I made me feel better, I'm high anxiety. I sense you have some feelings going in in what you're saying...and most people have lots of little stuff going on. I get paranoid at times? But is it baseless? Sounds to me like you're very functional or you couldn't have kept a job for 6 years! I think you should totally give yourself a break and talk to a therapist so you can jump into everything around you rather than feeling as if something is holding you back, huh? Good luck too!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Oh no I'm half a sociopath...it don't make ya bad:) lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Makes me laugh Conservative Lady because most women don't mess with too many tools ya know? The list to grab from isn't very long for me!


rontlog profile image

rontlog 3 years ago from England

Very interesting hub. In the past, I always thought that deep down, most people were ok and gave them the benefit of the doubt. But a recent event in my family has been a huge wake-up call for me. Several of my family members are all trying to understand WHY?, myself included and after a bit of research on the internet, believe I am on the right track having just learned about sociopath/narcissist/anti-social behaviour disorders.

About 10 years ago, someone married into my family. They seemed ok, but my alarm bells went off a couple of times - a couple of behaviours that I thought were inappropriate, nothing really obvious, very subtle but enough to make me feel uncomfortable. I ignored what I saw and felt about it, thinking it was just me and being naïve, gave them the benefit of the doubt. Big mistake!

This person has recently been found guilty of an awful crime and will spend a very long time in prison. My alarm bells were spot on.

It turns out lots of other people saw red flags too, again all very subtle things, but obvious in hindsight. We have never experienced a criminal in our family before. This person has caused enormous damage, mainly to their two primary victims but also to about 20 other family members , who have to suffer the consequences of his actions. Thankfully this person is now out of our lives for a while.

What I have learned is that some people are not what they initially appear to be and after a while their true colours will emerge. What I have also learned is we all need to pay attention to our feelings about people and watch out for little red flags/alarm bells going off. If other people are noticing red flags about the same person, we need to wake up and start paying some attention.

Whilst this person is no longer a part of our lives, unfortunately, a close family member has recently married and there is someone in her spouses family that I know is trouble. I only met him once - at the wedding, and quickly sussed him out. Towards me he was initially charming but in a slimey way, (a big red flag for me ) and then throughout the event displayed abusive and disrespectful behaviour towards several female members of my family, including both myself and the bride. Strangely enough, not to the men in the family.

At the end of the evening, he was particularly rude to me, I think probably because he sensed I was not impressed by him and could see right through him. He was trying to test my boundaries and in the end got so frustrated that I wasn't responding to his charms, that he responded in the only way he knew how - by being verbally abusive, saying that I was frigid and not up to the standards of his family. These type of people always show their true colours eventually. This took place in front of my husband and the bride, who both said nothing.

After the other person was sent to jail, I spoke to the bride and we were talking about the red flags that we had seen. I then told her I thought she also needed to be careful regarding her new brother-in-law, to which she replied, he was just drunk at the wedding and is ok really. Really? She had previously told me he cheats on his wife and hides money from the family business from her. Come on - how many red flags do you need to see before you wake up?

Unfortunately, I will have to cross paths with this person at future family events - there is one coming up in a few months, a christening, but I will do my best to avoid him.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi rontlog - sounds like that guy knew how to manipulate pretty well and maybe people were just afraid to point out this or that because most of us do want to give people the benefit of the doubt. We tell ourselves that we aren't perfect and we have to forgive other people for small things, you know. Or we think that maybe we are making too big a deal out of such small things?

I did hear a psychiatrist at a lecture saying that when people send up those red flags or if you start hearing those alarm bells sounding off in your head - it's important. We should pay attention to those gut feelings because usually they are not baseless.

I always tell my husband, if you do things wrong, you always get "found out." Somehow, someway, lies come to the surface and haven't we all been privvy to situations like that? The cheater getting found out or the theif tripping themselves up, for example. It's just worrisome wondering how much damage has to get done before everyone wakes up.

Thanks so much for the interesting comment. Hopefully people will learn to pay attention to those uncomfortable red flags instead of just trying to ignore them, hoping they go away. It's really hard to vocalize stuff like that because I think people feel like there are just dishing on someone else and it isn't their business. We all want to be nice and not butt in...! Some circumstances require that for the greater good I guess!


Rob Lattin profile image

Rob Lattin 3 years ago from Born in Chicago, now I'm in Mostly Michigan

Wow great article, yet frightening. I had a boss whom I would deem a psychopath by the way he treated the workers, then when he started beating up his wife I knew for sure this guy is going to snap. For occupations for sociopaths you mention sales people which I disagree but you also list president and today that is overly obvious. How about first lady as well?


Kasman profile image

Kasman 3 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

I think I had a period of slight sociopathic behavior at one point in my life. When one gets hurt badly enough, one could venture into the I don't care market. But then I found Jesus, and that's that. Great Hub, very informative, voting up and useful!


DrivingPeace profile image

DrivingPeace 3 years ago from Montana

Really fun Hub! Sociopaths, while frightening, are also very interesting. What it would be like to live without guilt, remorse, shame, morals, empathy, or love? One wonders...

I believe everyone on your list of well-known sociopaths are serial killers. However, people may not realize that the majority of sociopathic personalities never kill anyone, and many are not even physically violent.

For example, Jeffrey Skilling (former CEO of Enron fame http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Skilling) is probably a clinical sociopath who wreaked havoc on literally millions of people without killing or physically harming a single one. Sociopaths are capable of doing enormous harm without any sort of physical violence at all.

I think "President" on your list of perfect jobs for sociopaths should be changed to just "politicians", and I'd like to suggest another excellent career path for those with anti-social tendencies: "pornographer"!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Rob and thanks for the comment! I don't hint ALL sales people are sociopaths, but it's a great occupation for them if they choose:) taking advantage of others and saying like, "that suit looks great on you!" (NOT)!

The president can be a narcissist too, sociopath surely isn't out of the question. The First Lady? Well I don't think she has to actually have any qualifications other than the hubby Liz warm for her form? Haha


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Kasman...seriously you look too cute too be a sosh! Haha


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thanks DrivingP - give me a little credit hot stuff, I did mention up there that most sociopaths never even kill anyone. It isn't my fault those guys up there are murderers! I'd have used better examples if there were any that most people would recognize:) haha. Thanks so much for the comment!


tsmog profile image

tsmog 3 years ago from Escondido, CA

Hello RealHouseWife. I'm out and about a little more now. Watch out, hint, hint with a giggle or more. Remember I took both the MMPI and the new version, so definitely do not fit the profile, although I know some. You are right on many and like DrivingP there are oddities surrounding that whole type.

However, if one was to study the DSMIV-TR and then, say, write a real good thriller like even Poltergiest, since that character did have that personality structure, one may make a mint and add a dollop of honey you have a great cuppa tea. Hmmmm . . . .pondering I see a St. Valentine's Day thriller - detective story a brewing now . . .

Remember to smile and have fun, fun, fun . . .

tim


Neinahpets profile image

Neinahpets 3 years ago from Greater Toronto Area, Canada

... I said purple wrench. Hahaha. Interesting article and worth a read. Definitely recommend it to others. Voted up and interesting. :)


DrivingPeace profile image

DrivingPeace 3 years ago from Montana

You get BIG credit RHW! In lots of ways...


loveofnight profile image

loveofnight 3 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

useful and interesting, you are a definite page-turner. i truly enjoyed the read and was educated as well. i hate to say it but i have someone who is very close to me that is a sociopath. it's hard to want to be close to someone because they are family when you know the true man.......thanks for the read


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey TS! Good ta see ya out and about man!

That's kinda funny...yes we could make a sweet Valentine movie with this material:) haha. I'm going to have to chew the cud on that one buddy! Thanks!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Neinahpets - thank you! I did do a bunch of college and research to write this 1200 word piece:) haha. The facts are true and the B.S. is my very own:) haha


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thanks DrivingP - now how about some cash flow? Lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Yeah it's really hard to deal with family or close friends when one has these qualities. I really think it helps to know though that they operate on another frequency. People expect sociopaths to act normal...and even when they KNOW a person is diagnosed SP for some reason people still don't get that they will not EVER behave in ways we expect.

For instance, the sociopath who will take advantage of anyone. No matter what - they will still take advantage of other people if we know they are Sociopathic or not...so I think people want to "work" with sociopaths and they want them to modify their behavior but they can't. So if a sociopath tells you, "I'll never do such and such again"...know right then they probably would and wouldn't feel guilt the next time either. It's tough because its human nature to want to trust and forgive...but with true sociopaths you will be going to the same party year after year with new surprises! Lol


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 3 years ago from United States

This is a very interesting hubs. I have known a couple of people I wondered about, but I am not sure I have known a true sociopath. I think your hub is very informative and interesting. Congrats on your 2 year anniversary with Hubpages.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you so much Pamela! I didn't even realize it had been two years until yesterday. dang...now who do I call for a raise?! LOL


Amelia Pwnd profile image

Amelia Pwnd 3 years ago

Very informative hub! I studied psychology as an undergrad and always found the most interest in learning about personality disorders. I like how you mentioned that psychopaths/sociopaths are not necessarily considered "mentally ill;" when one thinks of a person who is mentally ill, it conjures up an image of a person who struggles to function in everyday life, which is pretty much the opposite for these individuals, whoa re able to function better than most "normal" people due to a total lack of all those pesky "emotions" holding them back.

In undergrad school, I was taught that psychopath and sociopath were merely terms used, interchangeably, by the mainstream media in order to describe, in more layperson terms, the personality of those with Antisocial Personality Disorder--and, perhaps, at the time that was true. Further research into the minds of such individuals now shows different "levels" of the disorder, and sociopaths are distinguished by their disorder as being a result of mostly environmental factors, such as a bad upbringing, whereas psychopaths are more identified as having been "born that way." As with all personality disorders, it is widely believed that both factors play a role in the way a person turns out--the old "nature vs. nurture" debate. It's also been differentiated more recently that those defined as "sociopaths" may be able to feel empathy, in rare circumstances; while it was previously believed that all individuals who could be classified as having Antisocial Personality Disorder lacked all emotion and ability to form attachments with others, some sociopaths actually do form attachments with some people, who will be the only people toward whom they would feel any remorse if harmed.

Great hub!


Amelia Pwnd profile image

Amelia Pwnd 3 years ago

..and oh crap--I said "blue hammer!" What does it MEAN??

At any rate, cute quiz, but I know I'm not a sociopath; I always say blue when there is a color involved. It's my favorite. :)


Nicole S profile image

Nicole S 3 years ago from Minnesota

Interesting hub! I'm definitely not a sociopath, so at least I have that going for me. That video was crazy! I wonder why we think of a red hammer, that's insane!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

HI Amelia! Thanks for that terrific comment!

I do think many people want to associate a picture of a person who is just deranged looking when they conjure up an image of a socio/psychopath. So important that people realize - they can look very together! They can operate on functional levels and yes I guess it is in different degrees but they just don't function for very long in one place, I don't think.

So interesting too that you mention the nature vs. nurture debate. I find it perplexing that you could have two individuals and put them in the same set of circumstances and one will strive while the other self destructs.

Antisocial Personality Disorder is also really interesting and deserving of an entire hub, don't you think? I recently read somewhere they are tossing that term around a bunch now too. I am just fascinated by those disorders and brain function.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

haha Very funny Amelia! You remind me of this girl I used to work with at the sleep lab - in the research department. She would sometimes look at a paper study and if she noticed a shortage on pages she would start shouting, "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DATA!" haha Every single time! So we would occasionally look at each other and shout that:) lol

My husband said "purple / saw" or something of that nature and I still fall fast asleep next to him at night! haha


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

It is interesting why so many people would first think "red" then "hammer" but maybe those are simply the most popular choices? For instance - if you think of tools - red pops into my head because so many tool boxes are red...and hammer might just be one of the first tools we learn to use or identify? Either way it's still interesting!


melbel profile image

melbel 3 years ago from New Buffalo, Michigan

Such a great hub, Kelly. Shared on StumbleUpon. :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thanks so much Melanie!


coldroom 3 years ago

I'd like to speak for those of us who are sociopaths. We are not evil, not bad. I volunteer for the homeless, help those in need, and do much more than you "normal" people to make this a better world. Many can and do use are "gift" to help others. Have any of you ever saved someone's life, while risking yours? I made over $800,000/year, retired at age 48, and devout my life to helping others. I have Borderline personality disorder, psychopath, sociopath, dissociative identity disorder, bipolar 1, yet I am admired by many close associates, highly successful, and yes, i do have a gift for having people open up to me. It is not all bad, many of us can and do use or skills and ability to get whatever we seek to benefit others. Was I always this way? No, I was not, but I turned my trauma and abuse and survival skills, for we are survivors of things too horrible for you to conceive of, into a benevolent force. We are not evil, we are not bad people, we deserve love and respect as much as you do. I have passed FBI, SEC, local and any and all personality screenings, and I am invariably a top performer at any job I hold. Can u say that?

Yes, I am different, unique, charismatic, always get what I seek, very goal oriented and driven far beyond any normal person, but I see this as a gift. I am an animal rights activist, passionate and supportive of the homeless and mentally ill, veterans, and anyone less fortunate than myself. You put bumper sticker's on your cars that say "support our troops." have you ever taken in a veteran, given him a home, hired a vet? shut down a puppy mill? do you give to charity and actually volunteer at a shelter any time other than Christmas and Easter? I would not change a thing, I think i do more to help others than 99% of the people out there. We did not ask for our abuse and trauma. It happened, we deal with and make the most of our lives. I only act in self defense or defense of a loved one, but no one crosses me, that is true. Am I ruthless to those who abuse others or myself? Without hesitation. Do they deserve it. Absolutely. In the world it is invariably those who took the road less traveled that change the world. Bill Gates, Michael Dell, Steven Jobs, all college drop outs. Einstein? same tale. If not for those of us who can and do overcome adversity, adversities most of you could not endure, what would the world be like? I don't ask for sympathy or understanding, I just act, without hesitation to do what is right. I stand up for injustice and intolerance. You Christians and others who hide behind religion to me are the ones the world could do without. We can and do change the world, and all of you benefit from our actions. 95% of the population are inert, they simply exist and use up resources, giving nothing back, and are self centered in reality. We can and do give back, and make an impact on the world, and I think make this a better place for all of you.

I'm not coming back to see all your rages and flames. I care nothing for your feedback, ask no thanks. I actually feel sorry for all of you. At least we were given an interesting and not a dull life. So that guy or gal who outsells or outperforms the rest of the company him or herself? Yep, probably a sociopath. I did 80% of the companies sales myself, and I was not even in the sales department. A Fortune 20 firm. I broke up a bribe and kick back scheme that went all the way to the top of the organization, 3/4 of my department were fired, the president and head of accounting were dismissed, and to this day not a soul knows of my involvement. I did not seek recognition, i did it because it was the right thing to do. I got a huge bonus. I took action no one else would take, risked my career for the good of the firm. Vendors who were stealing from us, I took them to court and won huge settlements against them. Companies have waived corporate policies to promote me, public firms, brands you know and use today. Many of the largest firms in America have waived rules to accommodate my "disability" because they knew they were more successful with me than without me.

Do I break rules? Daily. Do I make the firms rich doing it, and increase market share and customer satisfaction in doing so? Invariably. My customers refuse to work with anyone but me, my vendors have the highest integrity, I demand it of them. Many people are quite wealthy because of me, I reward those who succeed handsomely. And yes, I ruthlessly fire those who fail. It's called leadership. Yes, we make our own rules, this is how the world gets changed, and improves. I don't lie, i don't steal, I pay more in taxes than most of you make in years, and give it all to charities. The CEO who takes a $1 salary? Probably a sociopath. We are huge risk takers, but we always succeed, or get up and try again. We never quite, never say die. For life has thrown all it can at us, and we are the survivors, the strong. So I am glad I am this way. All of you benefit from our efforts, we don't seek recognition or thanks, we just act. To us, you are the weak, we feel sorry for you. You cannot see what we see, how the world really works. We have seen the darkest side of mankind, and some of us are better for it. Would you endure torture, physical sexual and psychological abuse? Could you? We are pure survivors, and leaders, many of us, and many people trust me with their lives, and it is not misplaced. They know I before anyone else will always come to their aid. For we truly know what pain and suffering is. So, that sociopath in your life that you fear? He or she may in fact be the person you most admire in your life.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Fascinating! Thank you for adding that!


coldroom 3 years ago

I just met w/ my psychiatrist for 3 hours today, she she concurs with me, and today we are working together on a plan to make my "illness" an even more powerful force to help others.

Thx for not slamming me. Yes, some are horrific individuals. Today we discussed my lifestyle of isolating and not engaging in any intimate relationships. Instead I work with animal shelters and give unwanted dogs homes. National breeders give me their pets, knowing they will be loved and cherished. My dr surprised me by saying today she would openly recommend me in an intimate relationship. I had a loving relationship of 17 years, and she begged me not to leave her. My next gf told me 10 years later I was the person she admired most in life, the strongest man she had ever known, and she knows my diagnosis.

Conversely, next, I did remarry, and my wife, unbeknownst to me, was psychotic. It was horrific, she almost did make me believe in pure evil. Some really are very dangerous people. But i will say this of myself, no one will stand more firmly beside you than we do, we are fiercely loyal to those we care for. My best friend was the most horribly disfigured person anyone had ever seen, woman literally shielded their children from them. He had 100 friends, yet his legal team (he was horribly injured in an industrial accident) told me I was the only friend he had they could use effectively in court. Woe to those people who spurned my friend. I have never lashed out physically in anger, but no one ever crossed me twice, either. So in a weird quirk in life, being psychotic can be a wonderful gift. Yes, I was abused in ways they write books about, I never tell what I can recall of my tale. It haunts me daily, but I channel it for doing good. Imagine living a life being incapable of fear. It really is remarkable. Imagine living a life of, why can't we try this? Instead of why not. Psychotics are not born, they are made. We did not ask what happened to us, we had no choice, like cancer, it just is. Some of us accept it and make the most of it. Honesty is my only rule in life today. But I can't and don't date, because I would have to tell my partner of my diagnosis, and 99% of you would run without getting to know me. I never today make the first move, I simply engage those who come to me, and try my best to make having met me leaving them with a smile. Yes, we are charismatic, charming, smart, good looking, yes people are drawn to us like none of you will ever now. But some of us tame the beast inside, and use it as an inner strength, and many, not all, but many wh0 worked for me or were in relationships with me all say they want to come back into my life again. One thing we are not, we are not boring. Nor do we see the world in a normal way, but our gift is that we can and do see what you cannot. A long time therapist told me often, count my blessings. Today I do just that. Had I not endure a lifetime of abuse and horrors, I would not see each and every day as the best day of my life. Today I make every day count, make each day great, But if you saw the movie or read the book, A Beautiful Mind, well I have an entity in my life. She has been with me since age 5. She simply is death. And she has but one function. But she does not want you, or your life, she wants mine. And each and every day she is there, with me, but I keep her at a distance today, and tell her she will not take me today. But this is a rare aspect, rarely documented, not of my psychosis, well it is a psychosis, but I stems from my multiple personality disorder, or what is clinically called dissociative identity disorder (DID). Psychotics, this is what is known as an Axis 2 disorder, a personality disorder. The majority of cases of any Axis 2 illness has what is known as comorbity, the existence of a second Axis 2 illness. PTSD, borderline, narcissistic, sociopath, psychopath, OCD and DID are all Axis 2. I have all of them, except OCD and narcissistic. TO me, borderline is the worst, then DID. Psychosis and sociopath are actually beneficial to me, made me successful, and admired. Borderline has nearly killed me countless times, and DID is really really hard to live with. Think Sybil and that's me. I cannot know how many "alters" I have, people have only told me of one or two they have met. We are totally unaware of them we cannot meet them. When they take over, we are not aware or conscious of what they sat or do. They go to bars, go out with my friends, change my passwords, access my safe, I "wake up" hundreds of miles from home, with no idea how I got there. I have lost my car, it really messes with your life. Today I live with a Viet Nam vet Marine sniper. He has met my alters, and thankfully he is not concerned or afraid of me being psychotic, borderline or anything. I'm grateful to have him in my life. I would trust him with my life, and he tells me he would do the same. I take that as a tremendous compliment.

So yes, some psychopaths are thew most heinous people on earth, far more dangerous than any "normal" person ever could be, but others are in many ways quite remarkable, too. There are always tow sides to each story, and any therapist will tell you that to say otherwise is distorted thinking. Not all psychopaths commit crimes, and not all saints are good. Some saints, it is now known, committed murders. I can tell you this, your daughter is much safer with me than almost anyone else. No harm would ever come to her in my presence. No one ever hurt a friend of mine. It is not wise to betray us. Those who were close to me, and did betray me, I simply turned my back on them, forever. I call it the "Book of the Dead." There is no parole, no clemency, once in it, you are in it for life. But harm them in anyway, I will not do.

I'm sure my writing is strange to you, bizarre. We are different from you, we can't see what you see, nor can you see what we do. We just see life through a different lens. What a dull world it would be if we were all the same. Don't you agree? We do hide our illness, for society judges all as this listed in this article above.

Did you know that Marilyn Monroe and Princess Di both had borderline personality disorder? All of you think of Fatal Attraction and Taxi Driver when you hear this diagnosis. However, it is speculated that Hitler did, too. Two sides to every story.

Thank your for letting me tell you from the inside what it is like to have these devastating illnesses. We do not ask for sympathy, even empathy. Most of us want what you want, to be loved, and to be happy. What can be wrong with that? For me, today, I find it in my dogs, not people. And I am not saddened by this. I have had a life like few on earth, a very interesting life, and I see this as a great gift, not a curse.

So on behalf of us, go perform a random act of kindness today. I did, twice today.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Coldroom - you are very welcome to add your thoughts and opinions here. I wouldn't judge you. I appreciate the insight. I want to know how sociopaths think...what goes on inside their heads. I think your comments are extremely interesting and helpful to this hub. I thank you kindly.

I am glad you are seeing a doc who can help you channel your energy. I do agree that many people with different "ologies"...are very clever and often genius people. Life would be so borrring without them, honestly.

I am very familiar with this because I believe I was in a long term relationship with a sociopath. I'm quite convinced it was his mind set. I was drawn in by it...the magnetism, the way he thought ...like that. Lots of people were...there was no shortage of girls lining up to date him:)

Please do share your thoughts and comments any time and thank you again.


coldroom 3 years ago

RealHousewife- an open letter response:

How refreshing to receive positive, encouraging feedback. Your sincerity is quite welcome. Today I found inspiration, and hope. As I recounted, briefly, my trauma made me what I am, but this is no excuse; I seek to sympathy, to me it is useless and unproductive. All Axis 2 diagnosis' are derived in part from trauma. Some, it is now believed also have an organic basis as well. Borderline personality disorder has a combination of genetic predisposition combined with trauma, usually sexual abuse. PTSD has no organic component.

My current diagnosis is:

Axis I:

Bipolar Type I

Axis 2:

Borderline Personality Disorder

Dissociative Identity Disorder

PTSD

Antisocial Personality Disorder (A politically correct way of saying I am sociopathic/psychopathic)

eating disorder (depends on who you ask I am either bulimic or anorexic)

schizotypal personality

paranoid personality

pathologically low scoring on avoidant personality (typical psychopathic inclination, we are quite affable and gregarious)

Yes, I'm a mess. Never a dull day, I must say.

So what do I do? Crawl in a hole and die? End my life? Go off the grid?

Been there, done that. But this is a coward's path. It is not my way. Life gave me a quite rare, unique experience. Shall I throw it all away, this "gift?"

Of course not. You, RealHousewife (manipulation alert LOL) have encouraged me to fight on. Am I using you? Yes. I am using your kindness to inspire me for doing good with what I have. I have 35 years left in an "normal" lifespan. What will I do with it? I am on full disability, today, fortunate enough to receive enough to live on, comfortably. I am what is classified as "high functioning." Many are not. Their cognitive abilities are wrecked. Every private psychiatrist here (Dallas) refuses to even return my calls. 21 rejected me, even research universities here will not treat me. My "treatment team" of 2 psychiatrists and two therapists, all PhD's and MD's, one a lowly LPC, all petitioned the courts to commit me for life. It was the only court case I won, I have fought my "commitments" 20 times in court, lost every one, except the only one I had to win. I was discharged 15 minutes after the hearing. The expert witness for the prosecution, my p-doc, went to Stanford, interned at Univ of Chicago, a better education you will not find. He could not even tell the court my diagnosis, nor even what meds he was prescribing to me. So much for an Ivy League education.

So I am going to devote my life to helping others with Axis 2 mental illnesses. These are not covered by insurance companies, almost no therapists will take a borderline, much less a psychopath. There are only three places in the US that treat DID, all private hospitals. These people, many are veterans, are the forgotten souls, ostracized even by the mental health professionals. Sure, the VA now treats PTSD, and I am grateful for this. The majority of borderlines are on disability, most take home less than $900/month. Try living on that. No one in their right mind would date us. Me, three marriages, two to psychopathic women (hmm, a pattern?). I never had children because I was terrified they might turn out like me. I took my genetic code out of the race, if you will.

So I am designing a new website for those with Axis 2. I am setting up a non-profit company, this will be my 3rd business venture. I will help these people get computers, therapy, access to psychiatrists, and real support. The BBS on the web universally bash us, ostracize us, cast us out. Those with Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) will not seek help. It is not our way. We lead, we take, we use. But most Axis 2 disorders have what is called comobity; the presence of a second disorder. Hopefully this aspect of their personality will want to change, live a better life, and give them hope. BPD has the highest suicide rate and highest inpatient population of all mental illnesses. 85% are young girls, and 80% of them were sexually abused.

So I ask you, how can mental health professions, p-docs and therapists, refuse to help them? What does this say about our world? I'm on my 4th p-doc in 13 years, the previous 3 all dropped me, and tried to lock me away. I have not harmed anyone, have a clean criminal background, paid millions in taxes, never ever not once harmed a girlfriend or spouse. They were not so kind to me. Death threats, mutilation, amputation, torture, even murder. Sexual abuse? I was a real life sex slave for two years, kept by a woman. Is she in jail? Nope. The psychopath who murdered my brother? He's dead, never caught. It was my father, and my "sister's" hid this truth from me until after their father died. So I am lucky to be the son of a psychopath. What do I do? I use all the horrific things my abusers did to me to channel it into something good. We do have a choice. I will never date again, I think it would be unfair to my partner. My "sister's?" They have disavowed me, want to never see me again. Why? Not because I transgressed them. No, my "crime" is coming out, speaking of the horrors i endured at the hands of my parents, and today reveal all my psychoses. They are terrified someone will find out I am their brother, and they do not want that notoriety. My doctors do not want their role in this revealed. Not good for business, and my current team tells me one of my therapists will lose her license if I come forward.

Ah, this is the problem with crossing a psychopath. My retribution will be telling my story, not under a pseudonym, but as myself. I actually forgave all my abusers, thanked them for giving me this unique life. If my coming out causes them pain, I really could care less, but it is not my motivation, hate and perpetuating pain is not useful. The only way to really beat this is to make something good come of all this. So i will take on this cause in the name of all of my fellow sufferers. I don't care what becomes of me, I can die today with not one regret. To me each new day is a gift, and I will not waste a single one. When I do die, and I will die of at my own hand one day, but not today, I just want it said I helped one person have a better life. Just one. If I can do that, will I not have done more than most people? My little part to change the world, psychopath style. LOL.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Your history is FASCINATING! It would make a terrific book...and you seem to be very eloquent in your writing style. Have you ever thought of writing a book? You should. I'd love to read it and I am sure many other could fin a wealth of knowledge through your experiences.

I think it's admirable to try to help others in any way that we can. By doing so - we help our selves. No doubt about that.

And of course - you take what life gives you and find a way to make it work for you. You sound very smart and I have no doubt that you're a resourceful survivor!


coldroom 3 years ago

thx, actually my current p-doc suggested I write a book. I filled 22 pages with just some of my "traumas" and deleted it. Was too hard to recall it, it's a trigger. Plus self-publishing costs around $8k, I'm told.

There are many books on BPD, which is my primary interest, but not one recounts their trauma.

Oh and thank you for the gracious feedback. My mother was an author, or claimed to be one. We were never permitted to see her work. These ramblings are rough drafts. Unedited, but some writers say never edit, always push forward, you are more genuine that way.

My moods vacillate wildly. For years I suffered severe self-loathing. In therapy one day we took turns saying something good about myself. I had to go first. It took me 15 minutes to come up with just one thing I liked about myself: I said I guess I can admit that I am kind to animals. I'm a animal rights activist, yet even that was hard to say. Teachers have told me I am gifted; I don't see it.

I am starting a new blog. I had one in January, but I severely isolate. I took the site down, throw out my telephones, deleted all my contacts. It has been a bad year. Hospitalized once already, 3 near suicide attempts this year. Regarding a book, I start it, then I tell myself two things:

1) recounting all my traumas, those which I can recall, anyway, no one would believe them.

2) I tell myself, who would want to read this crap anyway? Hard to get past seeing it as self-serving.

The worst trauma still eludes me. Actually I told my p-doc this week I will not attempt to recall it, the stuff I now can recall is crippling. Research into dissociative identity disorder tells me who and when, and what, in general terms. Just this previous post led to some severe self-harming last night. Still recovering, but I'm skilled at medicine, and there is no need for treatment. Just really messed myself up, spent hours treating it, still working at it. The burns sometimes require skin grafts, or I have to debride them myself. A good rule we Borderline's have is that we don't discuss methods. Oh we all cut, many burn, but a gal gave a specific "recipe" for chemical burning which I adopted, and led to third degree burns.

How can we do this? The emotional pain is crippling. I actually applied the chemical to my arm right before therapy, and sat in the session undetected as it "cooked" in for over an hour. They had no idea my skin was burning off. No one can fathom this, but this is common with us.

Today, the only thing that keeps me alive is that I have survived, and maybe my tale can inspire just one person not to commit suicide. Suicidal ideation is a strange phenomenon. I know this is a "sociopath" post, but really BPD is much worse. And I found evidence that one of my alters was active last night. Have not figured out what triggers them. I am setting up motion activated web cams, so I can review the tapes and see what my alter(s) are doing. Sometimes they go to clubs, I'm told by people who say they saw me but I ignored them and acted like I did not know them. My older sister even reported this to me once. She ran into me at a club, I'm told, but I refused to acknowledge her. Recently I found myself in my car heading for Memphis Tennessee. I do have an "interesting" life. LOL. Seems my alters play games with me, setting alarm clocks to go off in the middle of the night, changing my computer passwords, opening my safe. I did not even know I had alters until last year. Oh I know one, this one I sense. When he takes over it is like an out of body experience. I'm watching, seeing, hearing, but it is not me.

How did you add a picture to your profile?

What other sites do you post on that I might find relevant? Honestly, I almost never post anywhere, I see myself as a watcher of the world, an observer, but I rarely engage. I feel I'm just too extreme and bizarre for the world to know me. :( You already know more than most do.

Well, back to studying. Spent all day installing compilers and code so i can use advanced programming languages to make a real blog, not some wordpress garbage. If it is worth doing, it's worth doing right, isn't it?

Well today has been a good day, but my demons come at night, and the night is young. ;)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Well maybe the answer is to write a book as fiction?? Why do you have to say its about you or any other real person. Mix up your truth with some cool fiction and you're on your way! You can mix fantasy and reality at will and the parts that are truth can be your little secret:). I think you should try just maybe one page at a time!


coldroom 3 years ago

ah, the truth, and my life is much stranger than any fiction. I really struggle with this. Doctors tell me I have a gift, that I have to sue it, i have to speak out for others like me who cannot. Fear is not an emotion I experience. But this calls for courage. Many people will be hurt by my tale. I have one core rule in life, honesty first. I don't care if anyone believes my story, I don't care if the world knows me as a psychopath, a borderline, a man with multiple personalities. There is nothing life can do to me now that I have not endured. My sister's cope by complete and utter denial. They do not have my strength, and they are dead set against me speaking out, because they do not want to know as having a psychopathic brother. Guilt by association. They have all left me alone in life, left to my own to survive or die. So i owe them nothing really. But I also do not wish them harm.

Couldn't sleep last night, and I did start the book once again. I always wondered how anyone could write enough to fill a book. Well in a few short hours i pounded out 14 pages, and this is just about my first hospitalization. A two week period filled 14 pages. My emotions are an unpleasant roller coaster. I liked it better when my emotional disregulation and massive doses of psychotropic meds would not allow me to feel anything. Friends, even therapists said I was pathologically devoid of any emotions. I recall years into therapy of the memories of one of my more "interesting" traumas coming back into my conscious mind. Two therapists were in the room. I thought I was recounting a tale of sexual abuse, repressed for decades, it seems. I'll never forget, this haunts me to this day, one of the therapists said, you are not describing sexual abuse, you are telling us about being tortured, her words, not mine. Then she said, and there is not a shred of emotion in your recounting one of the most gruesome things I have ever heard. I really think they believed i was just making this stuff up. I confronted them, said I do not know how to fake being mentally ill, if my lack of emotion is pathological, fix me! Really, relative to other stuff, that stuff was mickey mouse stuff. Not a big deal. Yeah, I was threatened with amputation of stuff I would dearly miss, death threats, guns, knives, rape, and demonstrations were made on animals, lest I find this person not credible. But by this point in my life, I was no longer capable of experiencing any fear at all. Death? You would be doing me the greatest favor you could. This person was at the very least sadistic. Sociopath? Can't say. One thing I can tell you, it is nearly impossible to successfully instill fear in a sociopath. Control us? Good luck. Clinically you would say we have a pathological resistance to authority based on unresolved childhood trauma. I'm not very good at following rules. :)

I would strenuously urge the readers to understand that all Axis 2 disorders, sociopaths, psychopaths, borderline's, multiple personalities, all are deeply rooted in severe childhood trauma. None of us were born this way, we were made this way after birth, and usually at the hands of our parents. No one says i want to be a serial killer when I grow up, or a hit man. To me, there is no such thing as evil. There is no hell, nor heaven. Hell to me is my life here. Evil is created not by a deity, but at the hands of people. But we can't say things like that aloud, no one wants to admit people are the only monsters. Much easier to blame it on some non-existent force, and sleep at night. I'm not a monster. I've experienced things teh human mind cannot process, cannot survive knowing, and recalling. We adapt and survive by having our brains permanently hard wired, a shunt if you will. Things that would horrify a normal person, I really don't feel a thing in seeing it. Most of us are not bad people, we are just incapable of having feelings for things you do, we can't see the world as you do, can't feel what you feel. But there is good in ever trauma, and good in every person. The trick is you find what you seek. Everyone sights Hitler or John Gacy as pure evil. Really? Hitler loved a woman deeply. Hitler was a borderline, not a sociopath, it is believed. Gacy? Perhaps he was kind to his dog, I don't know. I do know pure evil does not exist. What is the good in messed up perceptions? Well society does have a need, and a use for those like me, incapable of fear. Beyond conflict, we are the ultimate risk takers in life. We don't feel regret, we don't feel sorry for ourselves, though we may loathe who and what we are. Those emotions are useless to us, we have unparalleled drive and initiative. It's not a fair fight, normal against us, for we are free of what we see as emotional weakness. Sure, some pretty ugly stuff made us this way, but we can't change the past, and none of us asked for it to happen, it just did. The psychopath/sociopath is a pure survivor, a fighter. And we can act with not a millisecond of hesitation. We do have morals, codes we live by. I think most of us would die without hesitation rather than break our code. Is that so bad? Many of us are not bad people, we are just different, and in our society different is not well received. But we endured our trails alone, always alone, so we need no one but ourselves to survive. Death called upon the first time at age 5. I know today by then I was already sociopathic. If I was not, if I panicked, I would have died that day. At age 5 I first discovered my complete lack of fear of death. Death tested me maybe 6 times by age 12, and always teh same, not a ounce of fear, just cold calculating reasoning of what must be done to survive, and survive I did. So being a sociopath has kept me alive and well.

Ask yourself, really ask this, which would you choose? Life as a sociopath, or death at age 5? Well, I didn't have a choice, my parents made me what I am today, a survivor, and honestly today I am grateful for what they did to me.

Anyway, I enjoyed our chats. It seems it is a conversation only between you and I. Do make today a great day. No matter what happens on any given day, and this has not been a fun day for me today, I focus on the one good thing in any given day. If I can find nothing good, then I am thankful that I was given just one more day of life.

I'd propose we take this offline, but I cannot ask anyone to enter into my life, I tell people you have to invite me in today. this will probably be scrubbed by an editor, but if someone was to send a message to

behind

blue

_eyes

at

outlook

dot com

they may find one such as me there.

Oh and to those passively reading, if anyone is, I'm Bill. Or I am right now, don't know the names of any of my alters. Someone named Sam with my last name gets mail here, but all I have a clues, lacking the hard evidence I desire to find out who else is here inside me. LOL


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

So interesting Bill (or Sam!)

I so appreciate your insightful and interesting comments. I know this may seem private but anyone can read this so don't have a false sense of security about that!

I hope that you find peace and happiness. Sometimes I think we worry way too much about we are or are not when maybe we should just learn to BE...live and enjoy the moments!


noneofyourbiz 3 years ago

I wonder if people still come to this place. I have a question that I really hope someone can answer. I also have really bad memory but, whilst playing the video/test, I remember seeing a (maybe) red hammer flashing like a glitch, during the video. I didn't pay too much attention when it happened, so it might have been a youtube glitch etc.

My question is, did anyone else see it? And why did I say blue hammer? Someones answer would be greatly appreciated. Thank You...


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

That's a very interesting supposition noeofyourbiz! I wonder if there could be a red hammer embedded in the video for just a second?

I don't think the test is very indicative of anything at all. You probably said blue rather than red because that color was on your mind. I think it's interesting and most tools are painted with some red, aren't they?


Craig Jameson 3 years ago

Confession time! I've recently discovered that I'm a sociopath-and yes my username is fake. Sociopaths do know they are sociopaths and if they don't then the second they understand the definition and traits of one, they will know. I don't need a psych evaluation because it's a waste of money and it will mostly work against myself mainly because people believe sociopaths are dangerous the majority are fine and should be left alone. I first have to say that I actually like your article because you don't confuse sociopathy and psychopathy, which is extremely offensive. Plus, you nailed the characteristics down pretty well, you editorialized a bit too far, but nonetheless they were correct.

Now it's my turn to do a little correcting because I just want to set the record straight. I am a high functioning sociopath, being because I always forced myself to join groups of people since I was little, I was brought up in an extremely loving home, and I grew up with cats. One cat in particular basically was my greatest influence for showing love (as an emotion), affection, and gentleness because we grew up together and I was with her when she died. I felt the most emotion at that point, I couldn't control myself in front of anyone, which is something that never happens to me. Even when my grandparents died I didn't feel much. Just that it was their time and they were outstanding human beings.

My intelligence on paper is average, around a 3.15 gpa, but I rarely ever study, I do work at the last minute because that means I have to work fast, which is a form of stimulation. I assume everyone is much less intelligent than myself, but once someone proves otherwise I'm fine with admitting that to myself. I don't live an ignorant life. On stimulation, I party and use some soft drugs (safely) because I need something that interests me almost at all times. I use other forms like writing on my own or reading or learning something of interest. I've grown to appreciate being around people because they provide that excitement. There are many people that I will avoid having any semi-meaningful conversation with becauae their level of intelligence (not academics) frustrates me. As a matter of fact, my current roommates are in that group. They're great people I just don't think talking to them about interesting topics is worth it, and these guys have very high GPA's. I elected to live with someone else next year because he better melds with my personality. He recently revealed to me that he thinks he's a sociopath when I told him I was (he's the only person I've told because I knew for some reason that he's different). Whether or not he is, I won't know for some time, but he definitely exhibits some traits. Make sure you are a sociopath first, because in my limited but first hand (and a bit of second hand) experience narcissists are absolutely a no-no. We know who's lying and who's being prideful but can't back anything up.

This brings me to the next part where I think you interpreted information wrongly. Sociopaths don't exploit people 100% of the time for satisfaction, I will manipulate someone if I absolutely need it, otherwise I take care of things myself because I believe I can do most things better than others. I am willing to reciprocate, if I manipulate someone then in the future if they ask for my help, they'll get it. Something that people might not know is that often times sociopaths suffer from depression. This is due to lack of identity and connection with others. I am fine with living in isolation, but people who are not like me bring out the depression because it's more evident-as in contrast males me realize how different I really am. This is one of the reasons I believe we need constant stimulation, unfortunately messing with people's minds does provide this much needed entertainment. Alas, I do not care, which is also unfortunate, but it's harmless the vast majority of the time because I usually gain nothing nor do they lose, just entertainment. The issue of identity is solved just like any other person, if we find another like us then it's much easier. We can still allow normal people into our lives because we understand each other and the stress of "finding yourself" is lifted. I have been experiencing this with my friend, mentioned earlier, who I will be living with hopefully.

Emotion? Yeah that's difficult. Love? Of course we do, for me it's just family and about four other people. I want more than anything to find someone I will love as a wife, but committment is the most difficult concept for me. When it comes to relationships, my longest has been 4 months. Even a wonderful girl I was with asked if we should stay together and I took the opportunity to tell her that I didn't care either way because I knew she would react by saying we should break up. Which relieved me so I didn't have to do it myself and be the bad guy. No one was hurt.

Lastly, as a direct address to the author, I recommend you look into the psychology of sociopaths because it is very interesting and I would not want to be anything else for the world...besides commitment, that should probably change. There are many sociopaths and we are good people you just don't realize it because a good sociopath will avoid detection. We know society unjustifiably hates us, and it kind of defeats the purpose if you know. You only relate sociopaths to murderers because they're evil and those are the only sociopaths you will hear of due to confirmation through psycholgical evaluations.

A note to others out there, don't look up how to expose a sociopath because unless it's a low funtioning sociopath we know exactly what is going on and we're better at it. For example, feeding us a lie, even if he or she does fall for it. We'll realize it and convince you otherwise. Just like if a normal person accidentally slipped up, they would convince you otherwise. Unless the person is malicious, do not expose them because this is an extremely intimate part of their identity. And if one confesses they are, again, keep it to yourself because it goes without saying that it is said in confidence. Society doesn't understand us and exposure could be extremely damaging, much more damaging than they have ever done to you (again, doesn't apply to the bad ones, screw them).

Thank you for this article, if you still think that we're bad then sure, take us out of your life, you're ignorance is frustrating to deal with.


Craig Jameson 3 years ago

Sorry for some grammar errors. I'm posting this via mobile phone and there are lots of bugs I was encountering which made it difficult to edit. All very frustrating.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Craig - thanks so much for your response. I am really curious now if your a sociopath or if you've just identified some characteristics in yourself that we all have.

I can tell that your intelligent, well spoken and you verbalized your ideas well. I agree you're obviously very intelligent but it sounds like you've got some feelings to me. I'm not a psychologist but I do know you'd have to meet a lot of criteria to be diagnosed.

I like to think of things in the extremes - so most extreme here - if you are a sociopath? Then you're certainly not alone as a proportionate part of the population IS.

Sometimes I think the very hardest part in life is to REALLY understand who we are - even from our own perspective!


Craig Jameson 3 years ago

The problem is that the majority of sociopaths are good, many are in business. One sociopath in particular, M.E. Thomas, writes in detail about being a sociopath. Sociopaths, like me, do feel emotion. It's rare, but very intense.

Inability to worry and taking unnecessary risks are both telltale signs. For example, a while ago my college was on lockdown because a junkie with a gun wandered on to campus. I walked to where the gunman was last seen because I needed to get to a certain building to finish my work. I had zero fear because I decided that I needed to finish my work regardless of dangerous man or not. Others saw me from inside a building on lockdown and were confused whether or not I knew there was a lockdown. There are certain things that are given common sense that a sociopath disregards because of a benefit which is seen as more important than the apparent risk.


sameer.anand profile image

sameer.anand 3 years ago from Pilani (India)

There was a documentary upon Corporations that I was watching sometimes back! Through those 50 minutes, the main point the narrator emphasised on was that the law treats corporations to be one units or like single person entities for the law suits and by the end, literally proved how corporations are practical sociopaths!

So, does it happen that a group of really sensible people, when come together, collectively start behaving like a sociopath?

[philosoraptor troll] :D


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

A sociopath sounds so insecure and comes from a troubled background, you did this so perfectly.


karielaine 3 years ago

In the last year or so since I kind of randomly started studying sociopaths, I have discovered something super scary to me - I honestly believe I WAS a sociopath - or at least well on my way to being one. By the time I was 18, when it would be officially possible to diagnose me as one, I had come out of it. I even know the exact era of my life that I switched. I don't think I was necessarily born a sociopath, but a combination of my natural personality along with my experiences (including some child-hood abuse stuff that I kept 100% secret until long after it was over) were creating the "perfect storm" for me to become a matured sociopath. I honestly think I was extremely bent toward the sociopathic way of thinking from about age 7 until 16ish. I was a total klepto and would steal anything from anyone without thought to how it affected people - even at age 8 I once stole $300 out of the wallet of an elder in my church who also had his own business and was my brother's boss! I mean age 8, and I was just getting started!!! The plots and schemes I created to get away with ANYTHING at such a young age is crazy. I didn't realize how elaborate and conniving I was until I was about 18 and told one of my jr high/high school friends some of my secrets from when she knew me best, and she was like "How in the world did you come up with that stuff at age 12 and 13?!" And I realized how abnormal it is for kids to think the way I always did. I went about it by following as many of my parents rules as possible... because I learned quick that those who appear to follow the system get away with loads more than those who are just crazy rebels. That is so scary for me to think back to (I'm 25 years old now). Another scary moment was when I realized that Dexter Morgan "your friendly serial killer" and I had the same first rule: don't get caught. Personally God really came to me and turned my entire life around so dramatically. I went to Bible school when I was 17, and I know that it saved my life and saved the rest of the world a lot of grief. To this day I definitely still see traces of my conniving tendencies and ability to try and "stack the deck" of life... but I am usually able to recognize it now, and actually allow my heart to be softened enough to put God's word and others' feelings above my own. That being said, it kind of cracked me up when I said "blue hammer" in response to the silly test video. Obviously the test isn't empirical, but if by chance it really is right, I think it just proves more how I'm mostly not a sociopath, but still could have a few traces left in me somewhere. :-)

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