My diagnosis is as follows; bipolar, schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder. I have always had mental issues first showing as a teenager. I was not a cutter per say but I did use stick pins. I knew my mother would see cut marks but would overlook pin marks. When I turned 18 years old, I began getting tattoos then piercings. In my mid twenties, I had a break down. The doctors started me on medications, the problem, and my symptoms were worse with the medications instead of making them better. December 2003, I consumed enough of an anti anxiety medication to kill a horse. The E.R. pumped my stomach and sent me home. January 2004, I again consumed a deadly amount of medication. This time the E.R. pumped my stomach then after a week of waiting, I went to an inpatient facility. I did not have insurance therefore; I was moved when a bed came open in the state facility. When I was released, I was taking eight different medications. For two years I had no feelings but continuously having suicidal thoughts, which my husband kept my medications under lock and key to prevent. In November 2006, my health insurance lapsed therefore leaving me with no medication. After two months of withdrawals and constant mood swings, I finally leveled out. Now I use meditation instead of medication. The only time I have ever had suicidal thoughts were when I was taking medication. Although I have still had, the symptoms of my diagnosis I strive to keep them at bay. However, I am not endorsing anyone to stop his or her medications without the supervision and care of a doctor. WARNING: Stopping mental health/bipolar medications “cold turkey” has serious risk and should not be done without the supervision of a medical professional.