What do you think about splitting ashes?

1. 76

   Moms-Secretposted 12 years ago

   What do you think about splitting ashes?
   
   I have a problem.  That is not the real question.  I don't want to split my husband's ashes.  His mother who didn't want him cremated wants part of his remains.  She is angry with me because I am making all of the decisions even tho they were based on his wishes and his style.  She says that she is his mother and I just came into his life less than 5 years ago.
   I don't want to hurt his mother.  He never got to talk about splitting ashes.  Only that he wanted to be cremated.  He will be spread in the ocean by his favorite beach, which she is against as well.

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2. 87

   Jlbowdenposted 12 years ago

   Hello:
   
   This may not really answer your question, but I found an article that another Hubber wrote about scattering ashes that you might find useful...
   
   http://glennstok.hubpages.com/hub/scattering-ashes
   
   I hope it helps.
   
   Jl

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3. 84

   NayNay2124posted 12 years ago

   You did the right thing by honoring his wishes.  If you don't feel comfortable splitting his ashes, then you shouldn't. His mother is not going to be happy regardless of what you do, so spread his ashes at his favorite beach and move on with your life.  Good luck to you.

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4. 61

   duffsmomposted 12 years ago

   I'm sorry for your loss and that you have to endure more pain from your mother-in-law.  I have to agree with NayNay2124, nothing you do will make her happy. You can bury the ashes in a grave that will allow her access by visiting, or spread the ashes in a family ceremony.
   
   Personally, if my mother-in-law outlives my husband and I am still alive, we will have much the same problem.  I think I would either write to her or tell her once the way things are and what you plan to do then do not discuss it again - ever.  She will eventually get the hint.

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5. 0

   OMGirdleposted 12 years ago

   My adult children also cremated their father. But some of his ashes were place in two glass artistic urns so my daughter and my son, who lives in another city, could have a part of their father. My son also took some ashes and placed it in a ziplock bag and keeps it under his bed. The rest of my ex-husband was spread in a special place.
   
   Your problem is why I have left a video as to what my wishes are and who can give directions in case of my death. As a mother, I also understand his mother wanting a part of him. I would give her a necklace with his ashes in a little locket. That way he's always with her.

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