Learning that the problem is not always with the accused and not reacting to other comments or remarks is something I've learned over the years. Naturally, if attacked I'm going to defend myself, but when you realize others are out to make you lose your cool for no good reason, you learn to ignore them.
1. First think through the issue. Is it worth getting all steamed up over.
2. Decide why this incident makes you angry. Place blame where it belongs. If it's you then decide to do better the next time. Apologize and make amends or whatever finalizes the issue.
3. Stop trying to be anyone other than yourself
4. Learn to avoid confrontation by choosing your battles carefully
5. Live one day a time and do the best you can do