I am assuming that they have an alcohol problem. I am an alcoholic and I've been sober for 3 years. My family often excluded me from get-togethers, refused to take me in when I had nowhere to go, and wouldn't give me money when I was broke. I hated them for it then, but looking back, I see that they had no choice. I sought trewatment at detox well over 30 times before I got sober. Each time I went to detox, though, I took a little bit of hope with me when I left. Tell your family member, that if they are high or drunk they will be asked to leave. Even if they get mad, cry, yell, the important thing is to FOLLOW THROUGH with it. eventually they will realize they need help.