I will only address your comment on the "upsides" you see, in being a "functional alcoholic," (which I must gently tell you is an oxymoron.) Medical statistics and years of aggressive study, have proven beyond all argument, that alcohol in one's system at bedtime, disrupts sound, healthy stages of a good night's sleep. In place of the toxic effects of alcohol, however, there are numerous products available to aid in sleeping well.
Continual stress and anxiety are real disorders with many symptoms, side effects and consequences galore. "Temporary relief," by use of alcohol, is senseless, destructive to the entire body and depending on the amount of alcohol consumed, may be seriously dangerous in terms of amplifying one's depression. Blunt and to the point, peeples, 7 of every 10 suicides are due directly to the use & overuse of alcohol by individuals with mental and/or emotional instability to begin with. Please re-read that documented info again & again.
Finally, just as with acceptable and beneficial sleep aids, there are innumerable ways and means for dealing with and possibly eliminating stress/anxiety disorders. Because you are an intelligent and loving woman, I know that you will do your research, come to an acceptance of the need to take action.....and ultimately do the right thing for yourself and your family.
You may safely delete the entire "PRO" side to that list you're creating. Only the "Con" side exists. ....Peace.