An Einstein Theory as it Relates to Survivor Dissociation

Quote by Albert Einstein

As Einstein theorizes, a human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest… a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.

He goes on to say; this delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living
creatures and the whole of
nature in its beauty.”

When I first read this quote my jaw dropped wide open. I felt a rush from my head to my toes. It was like standing underneath a waterfall looking up through the streaming water into the sun rays above. It filled my being with a momentous opportunity of inspiration.

The level of intensity that this quote had touched upon was not only exhilarating; it was instantaneous and incredibly profound. It spoke to me on so many levels.

Although, I’ve always held the belief that I was one with nature and that somehow, we are all one connected to the universe.

The separation that I experienced was not from the universe, so to speak, it was a separation within my own being. The disconnection or lack of connection which I experienced as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse was a severance between my memories, thoughts and feelings; as well as my mind and body. Thus, resulting in my experiences, being disjointed and separated, not being integrated into my core being or my sense of self.

A perfect example of this disconnect / re-connect is portrayed in my art in the second and last four stanzas of my poem. “Somehow it just….”.

Art and Trauma Therapy

In fact, I remember the day that I became consciously aware of my very first thought. I was thirty three years old sitting in my therapists’ office. I also remember the day when I was reintroduced to my feelings. In time I gradually learned to reconnect with my body and spirit as well. It was a slow and often gruesome challenge.

Although, unlike an optical delusion of consciousness, (referred to by Einstein in his quote). It was in fact what I learned later in life to be known as dissociation, a survival technique that was ingrained into my consciousness born out of my childhood abuse.

The commonalities or relationship between Einstein’s’ optical delusion of consciousness and dissociation are that they both have the power of disconnecting one’s being from reality. As well, they each create a form of imprisonment.

Dissociation, one of many survival techniques, had encapsulated me, like a cocoon; keeping me disconnected but alive and safe.

Hence, the technique of dissociation that once served me well as a child, in years to follow became my prison. (I was no longer living in dangerous situations that required these techniques to survive). It had become maladaptive and self defeating.

I not only had to unravel the layers of the childhood memories that once haunted me, I had to shed the layers of the protective sheaths and start fresh learning new healthy coping skills and behaviors.

As once stated in one of my poems; 31 years lie deeply below, underneath layers in paralyzed rows.

I had to learn for the first time in my life how to trust, how to feel, how to stay connected and embrace that little girl inside of me who’d been held prisoner all these years; shower her with affection and treat her with loving kindness. Although simply stated, might I add, not an easy task for someone whose survival techniques have become ingrained and this is all she knows.

Like Einstein’s theory as it affects the universe, so too does the technique of dissociation affect and arrest a survivor’s development. Healing, however, is possible through love and support. Many thanks to all who have been there for me. My husband, daughters, sisters, friends and therapist. I wouldn’t be here without your help.

May we survivors no longer be deluded and held prisoners in a world of darkness and despair; wrapped tightly, imprisoned in our cocoons. Rather, may we take comfort in knowing that we are not alone; we can free ourselves from this prison by reaching out, developing awareness, compassion and the necessary skills essential to embrace life.

Other Articles by Sage Williams

Understanding the Psychological Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse

  • As a survivor of child sexual abuse, I learned a creative way to remove myself from experiencing something to cruel for any child to bear. As a result there were many psychological effects and problems that remained. One of the basic losses was semantic knowledge and routine skills, like reading and writing or better off known as cognitive dissonance.

    This article touches upon and explores the underlying issues of childhood sexual abuse and the depths of the psychological effects that remain for adults abused as children.

Blessings in Disguise are Gifts from the Soul

  • Underneath it all I have come to realize that we are all spiritual beings. In the middle of all the chaos, I learned to be aware of my senses. I learned to not only hear but to listen to what my spirit was saying to me. I learned to trust and to follow. I learned a way out. Delicately intricate, they were unique gifts; like threads of gold, interwoven through a tapestry of the heart. Unique gifts that will be cherished forever, as blessings in disguise or what I refer to as, “Gifts from the soul.” Sage Williams

More by this Author


Comments 52 comments

blk36hor profile image

blk36hor 6 years ago

Nice Hub.......powerful and touching!!


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Thanks so much.


Dame Scribe profile image

Dame Scribe 6 years ago from Canada

A coping mechanism that is recognized by others in the same 'realm' too. Excellent article! :)


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

Sage


Shelly Dee profile image

Shelly Dee 6 years ago

Extremely powerful poem.Abused children need everyone`s help.Great job.


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Thanks so much Shelly for reading and commenting. It is greatly appreciated!

Sage


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

You have a way SAGE for capturing your reader, nice hub and I understand fully Einsteins, as explained beautifully here, and the poem is just touching, continue writing, Thanks, Maita


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Maita - Thanks so much for checking out another hub. You are the best! Your words of comfort and support are heartfelt and greatly appreciated.

Sage


beth811 profile image

beth811 6 years ago from Philippines

It's a great poem, Sage. You have such a great way in expressing well your thoughts & feelings through poetry.

You are indeed an inspiration to those who have not yet come out from their cocoons.

Thanks for sharing this touching hub.

Hugs and Love, Beth


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Once again Beth, Thanks so much for your heart warming comment. It is always so refreshing to read your comments.

Sage


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

Sage, Another touching hub. Very good.


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Pamela- Thanks so much once again, I am truly fond of all the comments you have left.

Thanks for your support and friendship,

Sage


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

Sage: OMG, my eyes got wet, sniff! The poem, the message of your hub and your art create a powerful combination that kept me reading and reading. By reading your poetry, the article, expresses how far you have come in this journey , and I love this because you are helping others by sharing the grace of your spirit.


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

VioletSun-Thank you! Thank You and Thank You! Albert Einstein is one of my favorite people and yet I had never read this quote before. It triggered a chain of events that orchestrated in me like a crescendo. Needless to say, this hub was the result.

I tend to be a very visual person; I still struggle at times trying to understand or comprehend written words. So I like to place visuals as well if I can.

My soul purpose for writing about my history is to help others who have or are still struggling to heal. I have had so many survivors come forward and thank me. It truly has been overwhelming. I had never expected to get the responses that I have.

Thanks so much your comment is very dear to my heart and is genuinely appreciated!

Sage


Gigi2 profile image

Gigi2 6 years ago from UK

I'm speechless. Your words and images have left my heart pounding, and like you, in a state of realisation. I have never heard of disassociation,but now I have I feel like the sun has burst through on a grey rainy day. Thank you so much for surviving,sharing,and caring.I'm amazed at the minds ability to 'secrete' things even from ourselves. I did not suffer abuse as a child. But at 19 my world changed forever. I'm 52 and just beginning to realise I hid it from 'me'. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to tell someone. Thank you again and thanks for your lovely comments on my hubs. x


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Our unconscious mind is our friend, a store house of memories, feelings, thoughts,etc. It protects us through many defense mechanisms such as; repression, denial, dissociation, to name a few.

Later when we feel safe enough, many times decades later on some level our conscious mind begins to become aware and the layers rise up to meet.

I also hid many parts from myself, each time they'd surface I'd push them back down. Aware of them, just not wanting to deal with them. It is a process.

If you get a chance read my poem, My Dearest Melanie. A narrative of a young girl who had the courage to speak out.

Remember your unconscious and conscious mind are both your friends and will work together with you. You will know when the time is right. Trust it! I pray that you'll find the courage to continue to speak.

Hugs and blessings,

Sage


Robert Kernodle profile image

Robert Kernodle 6 years ago

If you do not already know about him, then you might be interested in the great physicist, David Bohm (now deceased), who got kicked out of the USA long ago by Senator McCarthy, preventing his true genius from being as widely known as Einstein's.


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Robert-I have never heard of David Bohm, but I will very soon. Thanks so much for the comment. I will be sure to check him out. Sounds interesting.

Sage


keira7 profile image

keira7 6 years ago

You really write some brilliant hubs. I have the chance to know you now, and I will follow all your work. I have a member of my family, that did suffer from abuse by his father, from an early age. His now 19 years old and hasn't recovered yet. He is my sister's child I love him so dearly. For me, he is like my own son. His my son's age and we are so close to him. We leave in a different contry from them, but we always in contact with him. He always feel the needs to talk to my son and I. We feel so much pain for him, he is an adorable child. We really hope that one day, he will be able, to recover completly, from this horrible nightmare, and leave a normal life. I love your writing and your work. Thanks for sharing. Bless you.:)


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

kiera7 - Thanks so much for your warm and genuinely heartfelt comment. Thanks also for feeling comfortable enough to share your personal story.

My heart goes out to your nephew. Your nephew is fortunate to have you and your son to reach out to and to have the love and support from both of you. Healing is possible with love, support and professional guidance. The plus side to this is he is still young and given the fact that he gets the help at 19 instead of 20 years from now is definitely in his favor.

May a gentle guiding breeze be at his back.

Warmest wishes to you all,

Sage


ruanz3 profile image

ruanz3 6 years ago from South Afirca

I like your work and i can relate to your abuse. I have read that quote of Einstein before and he is one of my idols. He had incredible wisdom and is a real inspiration to me. All the best to you :)


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

ruanz - Thanks so much for checking out this hub and commenting. I guess we have a few things in common. Einstien has always been one of my idols as well. I have always been able to relate to him.

Best as well:)

Sage


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England

Hi, Sage, I can never fully understand what you went through, but I do understand disociation a bit, after I had lost my mum and dad, and my husband did what he did (another story when I have the nerve) I did exactly that. I still do occasionally, it is usually when I cannot control a situation, I step sideways, which is the way I like to describe it. And sometimes it takes me ages to come back. Thanks for another great hub. cheers nell


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Nell - Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my hub. Dissociation, is your friend, although it may not feel like it at times.

It kicks in when you need protection and have no other means. I do hope that you have the courage to speak out. By giving voice to your experience, you are in control and healing is possible.

Hugs and healing to you,

Sage


DustinsMom profile image

DustinsMom 6 years ago from USA

Great hub Sage. We must continue reaching out and raising awareness.


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

DusinsMom - Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. You are so right.

Sage


lyricsingray 6 years ago

OMG girl, yes, to learn to trust and feel, and moreso trust those feelings, seems so impossible. I know with every word your journey and I wish I could take it from you. You are more than courageous, you are an inspiration and this is one of the best hubs I have read, truly. and thank you for sharing it with us.

ps-haven't got to emails yet but swear I will the second I can.

Thank you again for this hub


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

lyrics - I know you have been down this road and you pay me a great compliment. You my friend are truly an inspiration to all.

Thanks so much for sharing so much of yourself. I am truly going to miss you on HubPages. Let me know when your site is up. I wish you all the best. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

till next time,

Sage


Mystique1957 profile image

Mystique1957 6 years ago from Caracas-Venezuela

My sweet Sister...

A harsh but beautiful poem, indeed! Now you have the opportunity to bring goodness into the world and let your Spirit soar next to the Heart of God! You survived it, because you ARE A LIFE WARRIORESS! Never ever forget that!

Thumbs up!

Warmest regards and infinite eternal blessings,

Al


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Al,

So nice to see your presence on my hub page. Thanks so much for your warm and tender blessings.

Sage


Enlydia Listener profile image

Enlydia Listener 6 years ago from trailer in the country

I will read more. blessings


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Enlydia Listener - Nice to see you again, thanks so much for checking out my hubs.

Sage


annie laurie profile image

annie laurie 6 years ago from England

I have been away from my hubs for a while and when I checked in I found a comment from you on one of my hubs which in turn brought me to this hub. I am so glad that it did, your poem is so powerful you have a real gift and it touched me on so many levels.


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Annie, So nice to see you and glad that my comment has led you here. Your comment is genuinely heartfelt.

Hugs,

Sage


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago

Hi Sage...I am so sure this will help someone should they come upon it. Your writing is so straight forward yet still from the heart. I may have mentioned it before but I saw so many without the courage to face their demons over my lifetime...It takes superhuman courage to even begin recovering from severe trauma. Your poem is beautiful. [[hugs]]


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Tammy - You are so kind, your comment is genuinely heartfelt. Thanks so much for your compassion and understanding. Your comment is greatly appreciated.

Sage


4FoodSafety profile image

4FoodSafety 6 years ago from Fontana, WI

I just finished a couple of books about Einstein - this was no where in the bio - loved this! You are amazing! Wow! Exceptional Hub! Very deep, very concise, very thought provoking. I love Einstein even more now - thanks to you.


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

4FoodSafety - Thanks so much for your wonderful comment. Einstein has always been one of my favorite and I was so surprised when I found this quote, that I had never ever seen it before. The rest was history as you can see, it clearly spoke to me.

Many thanks,

Sage


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 6 years ago from East Coast, United States

Sage, that incredible comment by Albert Einstein really got me. I had never thought of him in that light. And such a 'right on' comment. Thanks for sharing his incredible insight (and your own as well).


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Dolores - Many thanks for your wonderful comment. I like you, had never heard this quote before and the rest was history.

Thanks so much,

Sage


Faybe Bay profile image

Faybe Bay 6 years ago from Florida

so can you tell me where to start?


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Faybe Bay - So nice to see you. Your question is broad and could be interpreted in many ways. The only way that I can answer this is to say. Everything you need to heal you have inside yourself. Let your intuition guide, you. You are exactly where you need to be. I am here for encouragement and support if need be.

I would be happy to correspond through email. Although, I haven't been keeping up on it, but would gladly monitor if you would like to write.

Hugs,

Sage


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 6 years ago

I am empathy with your experience, at the same time, enjoyed reading your excellently writtten hub. Loved it !


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Ingenira - Once again, thanks for taking the time to read and leave such kind words.

Sage


nighthag profile image

nighthag 6 years ago from Australia

I am so glad you commented on my poem, it lead me here ....

a beautiful hub, filled with honesty and feeling. thank you so much for taking the time to share with us some of your journey, you have touched my heart.


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

nighthag - So nice to see you. Thanks so much for your warm and heartfelt comment and thanks for becoming a fan.

Sage


Lambservant 6 years ago

Your poem really gripped my soul. I could have written it myself. Thank you for sharing.


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago Author

Lambservant - Nice to see you, thanks for stopping by once again. I know the feeling of having read someone else's writing and strongly identifying with it.

Sage


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

Hi Sage--wonderful work! I ran across you on RedGage and followed the link here--I am in both places--your work is so open and I just want to thank you for letting us come along on your journey--it is quite a gift that you give us.


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 4 years ago Author

Audrey,

I apologize for not writing sooner. I don't get to write like I use to but hope to return soon.

Thanks so much for following the link and taking the time to read and comment. Your expressions of gratitude are genuinely heartfelt.

Sage


shearasjustice profile image

shearasjustice 4 years ago

sage ...what can i say ? you are my new inspiration


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 4 years ago Author

shearasjustice

Your words are very kind. I am honored and happy that you have found inspiration to heal. Keep Writing Sage

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