How to console a person who has recently lost her loved one

Consoling...someone....is it possible??

 

As far as consoling someone who has lost her love goes, this is the time when the person needs emotional support, because she might be so depressed, she would be so confused that she does not know what to do or what not to. But I would say it is not just "HER" this also applies to "HIM" as well. A very close friend of mine lost her girlfriend in an road accident, though before her demise she got married to someone else, but he still loves her, and when he got the news of her death, he was like so much under depression that he didn't even knew what he was doing, it took around 1 year to recover from that episode, and yes he required a lot of emotional support from all the friends, do you think that would have worked?? No it did not. It actually depends on how deep they were involved and consoling also depends on the involvement they both had. Just saying and making them understand will not work always, unless and until the person gets someone else to replace their loved one. A new girlfriend or a new boyfriend is the best way to console the person who has lost her/his love one recently. Instead of all the friends and family people working on consoling the suffered person, leave this to a person who is just in the queue waiting for his/her chance to talk to that person. The person will not recover unless and until he/she gets someone more caring than the previous one. Well these are my views, if you have some other ways of looking at this topic, I am open for the feedback.

Comments 13 comments

pvbonus profile image

pvbonus 8 years ago

Another person is not the answer, though I can see why some would think so--and it may be for some people, but often that is a rebound grief effect that turns out poorly unless the person deals with their feelings before finding someone new. I wrote two articles on this topic, one How to Recover from Losing Your Soulmate and How to Cope With Losing a Friend. -- If it can be of help. These are located here:http://www.ehow.com/how_2181245_recover-losing-sou...

Best wishes and good photos and topic.


naresh_19812000 profile image

naresh_19812000 8 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

i agree to what u say but u won't be able to recover from that unless and until you try to move on, allow someone else to come in your life, if u keep scraping the old wound it will hurt and not provide any relief, so it is just like putting a band-aid on so that the wound heals and u can start afresh, do u agree with this friend?


pvbonus profile image

pvbonus 8 years ago

We agree with moving on...and I do believe in fresh starts too. Though one thing that is an important part of moving on is being able to be OK with and by yourself -- if one can grow and work through the grief without jumping too quickly into a new relationship, then one will be in a healthier and happier state of mind. This way the relationship can begin with love rather than grief and strength rather than weakness. Otherwise, I bare no judgment on wanting to find someone new...sooner rather than later. It is just that it may be harder to have true happiness. Peace and best wishes for your friend.


naresh_19812000 profile image

naresh_19812000 8 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

But my dear friend unless and until u keep thinking of the lost one and dont try to divert urself, i know it is difficult, how can u live a normal life, u will be in depression if u keep thinking of the person who is no more, i m not saying that as soon as u lose someone u start looking for someone new, and no one does this, i said the other person who takes the initiative and tries to console the sufferer emotiontially plays a vital role here.


pvbonus profile image

pvbonus 8 years ago

Yes, support means a lot in recovery. Many people do not have it or accept it...your friend has a good friend in you.


naresh_19812000 profile image

naresh_19812000 8 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

it is the time that heals it, and the sufferer starts to understand after he/she has come to normal mental condition, it may take a week or take years. where in case if takes years the person might end up in asylum.


soni2006 profile image

soni2006 8 years ago from New Delhi, India

Who can write such a beautiful hub on this topic other than you Naresh. As you have gone through all this in your previous life, you know better. This phase also came into my life but times is the best healer of all the sorrows, now I am with my partner, happy and content. You will also get your partner in the coming days and will come out of this pain, but then also this thing remains in your heart somewhere down there, in the deepest core I think......


Mark Knowles profile image

Mark Knowles 8 years ago

This is the worst advice I have ever heard. You clearly have no idea. Replacing the lost one with a new person will cause all sorts of hardships both for the replacement and the person doing the replacing.

Grief must be faced and accepted and acknowledged. Delaying the process in this fashion is dangerous.

Poor advice.


naresh_19812000 profile image

naresh_19812000 8 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

Mark you being older than me and you might have seen more world and more relationships than me. I have never told that "Grief should not be faced and accepted and acknowledged." I have told that u shud not stick and keep thinking about what had happend...get out of that period, get attached to someone who is consoling you and that will help. Have u been thru such an incident?? if no, then u r not a suitable person to answer this question. because giving advises are much easier than going through such a thing, it took me 1-1/2 years to get through that phase and it would have taken much longer or i might have ended up in the asylum, until someone came to my rescue.


mother2009 7 years ago

i have never witness a death of a child, it is very hard until i witness my daugther full term dead baby. it is a hurting feeling, at this time i do not know what to do help her to get over her pain of losing someone she never got a chance to know and love. i just need some advice to help her get over this pain of losing someone so little and dear.


JYOTI KOTHARI profile image

JYOTI KOTHARI 7 years ago from Jaipur

Hi Naresh,

This hub along with some of your others are chosen for Hubbers India.

Congrats!

Jyoti Kothari


jess 7 years ago

i once lost a friend about 2 years ago. i knew her since well before preschool and we stopped being friends in 4 to 5 grade she thought ui was being bossy an i was crying now i am


Jess 6 years ago

I'm 14 and a girl my age has just lost her boyfriend. I'm not sure what to do to help her cope with her loss. We aren't really close friends but we are still friends. What should i do?

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