There are many people who were raised quite fearfully. They were raised to believe that the world is a harsh,cruel, and forbidden place. They were also inculcated to have a life as safe and secure as possible. They are told to live a life within certain parameters. They are warned never to venture beyond those parameters. There are some parents who impart religious fear into their children, making them fearful of a divine entity and to be fearful of the afterlife. Do you agree with this premise?
Although done so with good intentions, I think that parents do more harm to their children than good if not allowed to experience the world in some fashion and protecting them entirely from all possibly bad influences.
While I don't have anything against parents who teach their children according to religious standards, I think the parent has to give the child enough freedom to allow the child to determine for themselves what they will believe. Most parents who exercise religion attempt to force the child to believe the same way and create a world of "us vs. them" mentality, explaining that outside influences are secular and must be avoided. While the parent may believe this to be true, and even if the child believes this to be true, I believe some harm is done by completely isolating oneself. One has to encounter reality at some point. Better to be prepared then unprepared.
I can relate to this concept completely. I was raised in such a home, and as a result of that, some terrible things happened to me once I moved to Orlando, FL on my own and encountered the "real world." If I had been more aptly prepared for reality, I don't think those things would have happened. I also regret having been forced into a fear of deistic punishment as a motivation for everything I did. This is however based on my own personal experience.
You sound like a damaged kid to me. Anything that damages a child is wrong. Teaching what is right and good through fear does the opposite. Any of these things are child abuse.
Living a life in the shadow of child abuse is to let the abuser(s) win, understanding that abusers are deficient human beings helps to get out of it, along with not feeling sorry for oneself, but taking the power back when one is big enough, maybe old enough.
Fear is required or else we all will do whatever we like and finally this world will turn up into a place where we can't even live. Parents should inculcate fear to a certain amount in their children from the very beginning so that later on when they grow up, hopefully they will turn up into a good person.
For instance a child will be attracted by the flame of fire and would want to catch it, but it is the mother who teaches the child that it is harmful and the mother creates a fear in the child's mind. This is very helpful rather than the child touching the flame initially and then learning not to do it the second time.
Same way, fear of God raises from the belief that there is someone above us watching all our deeds and has the power to punish us. This prevent one from doing harmful deeds. Also, one should fear the court and the law of the country in which he is residing.
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