Does anyone here have a parent that suffers from BPD? I'd love to hear your story.
Are you still in contact with them?
Have you needed to set boundaries?
How are you coping?
Does it seem to get worse with age?
My mother has been diagnosed with bipolar but also shows signs of BPD, narcisissm and schizophrenia. We don't talk. Although she is on Hubpages.
When we were kids my mother was diagnosed as schizo. I now suspect it was actually BP/BPD. Growing up with her and my alcoholic father was difficult to say the least. It could all just turn to hell in a nano-second as they were both violent and unpredictable. She never really improved and to some extent over the years it seemed a crux and an excuse for her bad behaviour. When I turned 30 and had my first child I was living in a different city (to get away from them). After a particularly bad phone call it became very clear to me that she was no good for my well-being so for the sake of the family I created I told her she was never to call unless she could be polite and treat me like an adult. I rarely spoke to her after that and I do not regret setting that boundary. I wish I had set it years before, like when I moved out at 18. My siblings who were still pandering to her were annoyed with me over it... as if I had done something wrong. My mother died a couple of years ago (I'm now 44). I was not unhappy that she died but did shed unexpected tears. When a child loses a parent to mental illness, depending in the severity of the condition the child suffers a loss akin to the death of that parent. Except you are not allowed to tell anyone because of the shame and you are not allowed to grieve because she's still alive. On top of that you're so young and dependent. It's a bitter and scary pill to swallow. Any love just disappears into the ether or gets sucked down a one-way street. I truly feel for anyone on the receiving end of someone's mental illness (and that's not to say I don't have sympathy for the plight of the mentally ill).
@WryLilt I saw in another thread how tough you'd had it. I really do empathize.
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