First of all you want to make sure your body is getting the proper nutrition. Severe depression runs in my family so I went to a doc (not a psychiatrist or psychologist) and had my blood and urine tested for everything possible. They found that I was lacking vitamin D, C, and E and also I was anemic and I have small vessel ischemia (which can actually cause small strokes that I wouldn't outwardly notice). There were a few other things I can't remember at this point but those were the most important. Oh I'm also low on melatonin and seratonin which is a cause/side effect of depression, sleeping problems, and many other adverse side effects. I live in Minnesota and we have winters that last 6, 7 months so I was prone to depression every winter. Now I either take Vitamin D supplements or I go tanning and you wouldn't believe the difference in my mood and attitude, just that alone!! A multi-vitamin is necessary, eating right, and drinking enough water. Sounds simple but when you're lacking these things, your body starts to shut down on itself, including your brain and can be the cause of your depression. Of course there's always the mental/emotional side of depression and if all of these other things don't help you, you'd definitely want to see a psychologist. Even if you don't have insurance it's worth it to see a psych even once so they can help you with a plan of action. I know depression is horrible I've been through it dozens and dozens of times in my life, I realize you probably don't want to do much of anything, that's what depression ends up doing to your feelings/mood, but start by taking care of your body and your mind will follow:) Good luck.
The suggestions I'm about to make will probably irritate you because they irritate me when people have suggested them, but they help- or at least they've helped me.
a) Go out and get some fresh air, go for a walk, anything. Exercise does help but I know when you're feeling down it's often the last thing you want to do.
b) Change the scenery, go some place different, the park or even a different forum if you don't want to go out.
c) Don't skip meals. Try to eat well and have a balanced diet.
d) Pamper yourself, hot baths, little treats.
e) Learn more about CBT and replacing negative thoughts etc. It really does work.
http://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/get-help/wh … erapy-cbt/
Seeker7 wrote an excellent hub about CBT.
But in the end, it's the source of the depression that's important; imbalance of hormones and chemicals or a reaction to life's events or habitual patterns of negative thinking. What do you think, PDS?
Paradigm this will pass. Going for walks does help. I found looking after other peoples dogs cheered me up.You will get through this. Try and keep busy and resign immediately as President of the slackers club.Take real care of yourself. You are loved.
Are you aware of what is troubling you, or is it just a general feeling of depression and you have no idea why?
I have failed at life. And am continuing to do so.
Cooking my first meal of the day though. 4:00 PM here.
You haven't failed in life, those are the thoughts that keep nagging at you and make you feel the way you do. Want to know how I deal with those thoughts? I'm gonna tell you anyway! When I wake up in the morning my first thoughts are ALWAYS negative. I push them away and replace them. It takes time to master this, but it works. You learn to identify when those negative thoughts creep in and replace them with other thoughts. So instead of thinking 'how did I end up in this situation' you replace the thought with 'What am I gonna do today to improve my situation'
When you start thinking 'what's the point' (all people suffering from depression will have this thought at some point) push it away and tell yourself that there is a point. Go for it!
My income, mental health and general sense of well being have improved beyond all recognition since I adopted this approach. Honestly!
You have not failed at life. Life may not have lived up to your expectations but you can change that. You can win in the end. Never ever give up.
In the interest of full disclosure, my faith in God and love of my family gets me through, but I realize based on posts I have seen from you that further information in that regard may not be welcome. Fair enough, I have not always been a christian so let me approach this a bit differently.
I do not accept your premise that you have failed at life. It is clear you are an intelligent person, who it sounds like has some experience exploring things that have not quite panned as as you would like. With these considerable resources available to you, embrace the challenge life is offering and forge ahead determinedly, encouraged by the knowledge that you have never been better prepared for success than you are now. Address your challenges by exposing yourself to the information you suspect you will need and then trust your instincts to make good use of that information when making the decisions required. If further failure seems your immediate reward, banish the perspective and realize you have simply gathered more data that will ultimately afford you success in whatever endeavor you are pursuing. Remember, you are the only judge of your success or failure so you you cannot completely fail unless it is your decision to do so.
You have NOT failed at life. Period. You don't fail unless you stop. Putting one foot in front of the other every day is continued effort on your part. We've watched you go through a lot over the past few months, but you're still here. You still make us smile. You still keep moving, keep trying, and keep going. Life is what it is, but YOU are who you want to be. See yourself through the eyes of others and recognize the talent you have and the gift that you are.
And just keep getting up.
Motown's post gets a great big plus one from me.
That's good cos many of us understand what you are going through. There really is light etc.You will get through this. Give yourself a treat tomorrow and think how great that is and find the beauty of it. Please take great care of yourself.
I just did some research last week to do a story on the Under The Bridge Ministry in Nashville, Tennessee. And that ministry was made famous by Candy Hemphill Christmas...a former member of the Bill Gaither Homecoming series..a wonderful gospel music program with a lot of the old gospel quartets of long ago and many new ones.
I found in my research, that this ministry had been going on for quite some time but it was made famous about 6-8 years ago...when Candy came on board. She had suffered from severe depression and had even quit singing pretty much. But one day she was at the home of friends and the old man there said, 'Candy, I've got to run to the bridge later and take some food, why don't you come along with me." Candy didn't know what 'the bridge' was...so the old man explained..."IT's where many of Nashville's homeless live in cardboard boxes and all curled up in corners under the bridge and I take them a hot meal at least once a week." He said, "Will you come with me and can you cook?" Candy said, "Yes I WILL come with you and I can cook Jimbalaya and I have a huge pot...I'll fix that and bring it" Candy said she was so over whelmed by the excitement of the homeless people over the hot food, she immediately forgot all of her own problems and she jumped head over heels into this ministry and she hasn't been depressed a day in her life since....She said just having a place where she knew she was really needed and could do some good...was all she needed. SOOO I'm wondering if something like that could help you. You don't have to live in a big city, I'm sure there are small children going to bed hungry right there within a mile of your home AND I don't even have a clue where you live. But the homeless and destitute are EVERYWHERE...and so SO many of them fall thru the cracks and have no help at all. I've never had a problem with depression but I LOVE LOVE LOVE to help the really destitute in any way I can......And you know...sometimes depression is just from a lack of B Vitamins...why don't you get some Twin Labs Vitamin B Complex and take 2 a day...always after a meal...and also take the B12 Sublingual...that's a liquid cherry flavored B vitamin and so SO good for depression. Also back off on high carbs and sugar and try to eat a much healthier diet...I'm new here and not sure if my contact info was even put on here...but you can check my profile page and see if my email is there or just message me back here and we'll find a way to get in contact if you'd like. I've helped many people through the years with diet and lifestyle change and sometimes adding supplements and I'll be glad to help you....and I never EVER charge for my help...I just love helping.....Good luck to you and I'd love to hear from you if you'd like to talk more privately....katydid
The comments re possible health issues are important to consider, and just knowing that others care is an encouragement, but it is not enough, is it? You might like to read Jerry Bridges' "Trusting God Even When Life Hurts" (a small study guide is available) or, if you want an extended study that would provide a daily journey outside your current circumstances, consider James M. Boice's "Psalms."
I, Paradigmsearch, do hereby affirm that every day going forward will be better than the previous day.
That's the spirit, paradigm! One day at a time, soldier. Step it up! One two, one two, one two, march! Hold your chin up high, soldier. Thank you for all the times you made me laugh in these forums. You do have a purpose and you DO matter. Uour humor and your wit never fail
The posts here have definitely helped me. The kinder, gentler paradigmsearch is slowly returning...
It's important to get things off your chest when you feel like this. I know it's not the same as having a one to one with someone but it's a start. Helps to get your thoughts in order and have imput from other people. You're not alone in your thoughts then-we're all here with you.
I'm going to re-check this thread and see if there is anybody here that I'm not following. If so, I will fix that. Be prepared for my profile score to drop another 8 points...
See a professional and don't try to cure a neurological problem with long walks or at home remedies. Maybe it isn't clinical, but there's no fixing it on your own if it is. Shore up your support systems, though. Having people who you can trust makes all the difference.
I am going to quote myself...
"Someone once told me that depression was like a dense, dark raincloud that hung over you and you couldn't escape from it as hard as you might try. I don't think I ever really understood because I have spent so many years running and hiding from that cloud. I finally understand now. I also know however that you can't run from this and you can't hide from it. Instead you have to find a way to rise above it, walk on top of the clouds and let the rain fall below your feet."
I don't know you, but trust me I know what it is like to feel like a failure, in so many ways. Somebody once told me that the world has a way of breaking something beautiful because it is so much harder to maintain love than hate.
I get through every single day of my life reminding myself that I am here and I am alive and I have survived so far and I need to be proud of myself for that. Sometimes yeah you fail... nobody is perfect and nothing ever goes the way you want it to all the time. That my friend is something you just have to face and in spite of that truth just try to find the good in things, people and situations.
This week, My heater broke, my car broke, I kinda lost the house I was going to move into, I got in an argument with a good friend, and my mom insulted my ability to find a decent man, oh plus I have cancer for the third time. On the bright side... my boyfriend is really sexy. See, always something to be happy about even when bad things are abundant!!!
As someone who has lived with serious depression my whole life, I can definitely say with 100% certainty that you have not "failed at life". As long as you are living you are succeeding at life. Perhaps you THINK you have failed to meet some else's expectations of life, but that is poppycock.
Did you see on the Oscars that girl that was homeless and someone made a movie of her? She was an artist and that is all she desired to do while living her time on earth.
Other people think she is a failure, not her.
Stop defining your life with other people's opinions. Tell them to go live their life the way they want to and you will live yours the way you want to.
Breathing in and out is a success! Everything else is gravy.
Wow just saw this thread - sorry that I was pre-occupied with work and bantering with Randy! All I can say is that your effect on people on the forums is often amazing! You have a way of inserting comments or threads that can calm everything - your humor is incredible and you seem like a very talented person!
(Send the $20 to the address I gave you earlier ).
Seriously though - if you look at how many people are on this thread trying to help on you, then you must realize that you have not failed - you are making an impact in many people's lives...
Hey, folks! This is a 3-week-old, dead thread. All is well. I am muddling along. All I need is something to become passionate about. Sooner or later, I'll stumble across just that when looking for a hub topic. So have no fear! My demented forum ramblings will continue.
And here I was, trying to think of something say. Much relieved to hear that the "demented forum ramblings" will continue - I like them.
Reading a little further, though, causes concern - there is something wrong with people rising at 4 AM
what about 5 am?....can't wait for the light to come back so i can rise with the birds again!....rather than hanging out with the owl!
Well...I like rising with the birds, too. Whenever there's fishing to be done; if it's only going to work then it should not be required.
Believe it or not, Daylight Savings Time begins in less than 2 weeks. Seems like only a month ago I was setting the clocks back.
This is weird. 2 weeks seems like 2 months to me, but 4 months seems like a month to me. I am doomed... I'm going to steal Jane's ice cream.
And it was nice rereading the old posts and seeing the new ones. Thanks, guys.
And while I'm at it, most all of the previous advice has been implemented. I'm generally up at 4:00 AM every day, I am well nourished, and I get out in the world on a regular basis. In fact, this thread has perked me up to go do some things right now.
I have failed at life as well, pds, I feel your pain.
I mooch off of others, I have no job, I am a coward. I'm crazy:)
My boyfriend doesn't love me,but I stay because I love him obsessively. I am a loser.
Hey I thought I would comment about the depression. Remember that there are winter blues and it is not spring time yet. When I get depressed I pray. Depression can come from many sources, but try to talk to someone that you feel you can trust. Journaling is a good way to get your feelings out and released. The best to you. God Bless you! Take care of yourself.
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