How do you un-complicate?

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   Beth37posted 10 years ago

   Have you ever been told you're complicated? Or maybe that you think too much? Other than poking your brain thru the ear with a screw driver, how do you take the traffic in your head from the autobahn to a horse and buggy path? How do you live simply, inside?

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      AshtonFireflyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Good question. I have been told I am very complicated. By a psychiatrist. Which is pretty bad.
        I've tried very hard to live an uncomplicated life. I think it all comes down to choices. Choose which battles to fight. Choose to not worry or worry about something. Ask yourself, "is this thought or dialogue in my head really worth it?" For those of us who over-analyze and overthink, I think we have to make a conscious choice to focus on something other than whatever is going on in our heads. Distractions help me. Going for a walk, playing pool, playing video games...whatever it is that gets you out of your head for a while. Anywho, just my two cents.

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         Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

         You're right... distractions. That has been huge for me. That is what the computer is. I wonder if ppl who are able to think without complication need distractions or, in their lives, is that the same thing as interests... cause there's nothing wrong with interests... but needing distractions seems somewhat... broken where as interests just seems normal and healthy. Who knows.
         
         Anyway, I like your advise, it's actually biblical. The Bible calls that "taking every thought captive." I don't struggle with run away thoughts so much as thinking of things from too many perspectives... which actually sounds like a good thing when I say it, but I think it would be nice to just see things one way and then act on it. Who knows, again. Good talk, lady, thanks.

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            Dave36posted 10 years agoin reply to this

            I'll give you a quick tip Beth37, & if you want a few more feel free to ask....If your thinking too much, the way to slow that down is by mindful meditation....Sounds boring but it's not, it's really good to practice....All you do if your sat there thinking away is: Look at the things/objects around you, & keep your eyes moving slowly from one thing to another.....Or close your eyes, & listen intently to the various noise that you can here.....Now with practice your'l be able to distract those thoughts, without naming the things/objects/sounds....The point being that whilst your either looking intently or listening intently, you can't think at the same time, this is called "mindful meditating", & is really cool....For a better description utube: "The Oprah Winfrey Soul Series with Eckhart Tolle". :-)

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               Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

               Well thank you sir.

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      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Nothing is WRONG with being complicated at all.  It is good to be complicated.  It is better to be complicated and have a lot going on inside than to be the opposite. 
      
      If a person isn't complicated, what GOOD he/she is?   It is good to have an ever busy mind. The more one thinks, THE BETTER and MORE LUCID and MENTALLY AGILE his/her mind is and that is a GOOD THING INDEED!
      
      There is NO SUCH thing as thinking too much.  In fact, many people have a tendency to think TOO LITTLE!  Humankind was CREATED to THINK!  Thinking "too much"-no such thing, come on now!
      

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         janesixposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Except when thinking too much is the result of a mental health issue such as anxiety or mania. Then it's a problem that needs to be fixed.

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      rebekahELLEposted 10 years agoin reply to this

        Spend time outside.  Nature has a way of capturing our attention and placing it in the present moment.  Humans think too much because we think we're supposed to figure everything out by thinking.  Observing nature can very often show us an answer to a problem or remind us of what we need to be reminded of at that moment.  One of my hubs explains further about presence.  Many of our thoughts are absolutely needless.  Let them go play in the wind.

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         Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

         It's funny you say that. I love the wind. I think I love any force which is strong enough to take over all the senses... helps us to refocus on something other than current issues.

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   janesixposted 10 years ago

   Just stop thinking for a few minutes. As long as you can manage.

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      Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I wonder how dave found this thread... well still thinking. can't help it.

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         janesixposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         It can be done. Have you tried?
         
         I have anxiety(and other) issues. If I can do it, anyone can. Even a few minutes a day helps.

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            Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

            I saw an rerun of Get Smart when I was a kid. He stopped himself from thinking for a few minutes. I always wanted to be able to do it, but no.... I haven't really mastered that technique.

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               janesixposted 10 years agoin reply to this

               Yeah, it's hard. Can't always do it, either. I just tell myself "shh" every time a thought comes into my head, and sometimes it works, sometimes It doesn't.

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                  Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

                  Oooh, actually... my husband's g'ma told me something like that. When I couldn't sleep, she said she used to imagine every thought on a chalk board and the minute it began, she would erase it. It really works.

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         Dave36posted 10 years agoin reply to this

         When an unwanted thought pops into your mind, it will then try to lead you on a story of what might be, what could have been, what might happen, what might not happen, what he/she said, why they said it etc etc...This is called being lost in thought, & you can be thinking about it for seconds/minutes even hours....The thing to do is "as soon" as you become aware your lost in thought, if it's not something you actually want to think about you have to do the distractions....If you do this every time you become aware your lost in thought, you get better at noticing & soon in control....There's more to it but it's just a question of time, & practice.....Once mastered you will think mostly when you want to, & the unwanted thoughts won't come as often.

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            Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

            Good advise.

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   Beth37posted 10 years ago

   Thanks GM... keep the old noggin' working. Good idea.

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   tsmogposted 10 years ago

   I share with a giggle and a smile being told one is complicated should be obvious, even though I understand your meaning. After all science still has not got any one of us figured out. We all seem to be equal with that, therefore really we are all more common than complicated. That is now solved.
   
   Question: how do you take the traffic in your head from the autobahn to a horse and buggy path?
   
   Practical answer from experience with rapid thoughts (a symptom of bipolar disorder so there is a constant with a long time having a familiarity) is I repeat things slowly especially in conversations when that occurs. Some become frustrated when you repeat something back. I try to paraphrase pretending I am seeking clarity when actually trying to slow down thoughts. It works.
   
   Another is counting. But, that is illegal in Vegas and other places. What are you going to do. Keep playing I guess. As long as you do not pay too much everything will work out in the long run. Something about odds and those are 50/50 when you flip a two faced coin and not a two face coin. Go figure how likely either or is. Neither nor?
   
   Ask if you can make notes. Usually I hold the pad so only I can see it. Then scribble odd stuff like triangles and circles while adding a word now and then. This works when alone too. It helps to draw arrows here and there just in case they do peek over the edge. If you peak over the edge then try a nap. It helps. 
   
   Non-practical answer. This works for me many times. I know for a fact a thought travels at only a notch or two over 3MPH. Thoughts has been measured in speed at Arizona University and John Hopkins with neural nets and stuff like that. You can Google it. That said, since a thought only goes as fast as a pace of walking, run! If you do that you will be going faster than the thoughts. However, you will have to ask someone to run with you to have a conversation.
   
   Next question: How do you live simply, inside? An answer is it is just simply a puzzle for the puzzler with too many or not enough pieces. Living simply inside is not to live outside, yet that is not thinking outside of the box. Most today seem to want a person to live outside the box for thinking to occur. So, if that is normal better open the door and go outside and get some fresh air.
   
   My mom taught me most of those to offer validity with rational thinking. For experiential, try one or two. That will verify them for yourself. Otherwise to determine if false or true I usually just throw darts and well, try throwing one and puncturing a tire. That will stop someone if not many on the autobahn.
   
   Just kidding about or just have fun with them and all is okay
   
   tim

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   Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years ago

   How about just thinking about God? God alone! That is simplifying things. It is not a good idea to give up thinking. Thinking leads to awareness. Love leads to awareness. Awareness may be beyond thought, but it starts there.  TWISI

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      Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      But they delight in the law of the LORD, meditating on it day and night.
      Ps 1:2

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         Cgenaeaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         And nothing shall offend them.
         My mom's FAVORITE. Though she has a lot on her plate; she's a peaceful soul.

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            Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

            I spose one of the best ways to "take every thought captive" is to focus on something truly noble and transforming like scripture.

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               Cgenaeaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

               My mind gets lost in scripture really fast too, Beth. I think and think and think on these things like crazy lol
               I will learn the art of "captivating" my thoughts one day...
               My mom has it down! I've got a great example.

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   Cgenaeaposted 10 years ago

   I tell my mind to quiet. But it never hears me with all the other noise going on. I am literally a thinker and it often leads to thinking well past my bed-time.
   I often listen to others with a head movie playing on repeat based on the first few statements they made so then I miss the punch-line.  I do have it bad. A former friend often called me on it. "What did I just say???" Then I'd just duh...and admit I wasn't listening. "You always..." she'd complain. But hey, my thoughts really interest me. I can't help it either.  

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      Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      "But hey, my thoughts really interest me. smile I can't help it either."  and that's how it should be, Cgenea! Thank God for thoughts! Controlling them toward good ends is the challenge... not abandoning thinking all together! To sleep, just don't worry. Think happy thoughts:  Consider how beautiful the world is and that in the morning the sun will light it it up again… Think of everyone you love and who loves you, think of reality, of reality… re aaa  zzzzz…..
      TWISI

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         Cgenaeaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Worry, I don't do much of. I contemplate to death. wonder why im not sleeping yet. Or yet. Or yet. It is funny to me sometimes. Grateful that my thoughts rarely trouble me. But often frustrating that I keep re playing the visit to Walmart; or remembering my dinner; the book I am currently reading... just busy minded

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            Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            Another hint: Get off the computer before 9:00 in the evening. The light from the screen going into your eyes prevents the production of melatonin. yikes. Gotta go!

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               Cgenaeaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

               Now THAT'S wishful thinking.
               Night is my middle name. Me and way past midnight have had some wonderful times together all alone. For some reason, I could not keep my eyes open last night. (Probably tired; I moved to the city last weekend, so organizing and settling is what I've done kind of constantly since.) But I have noticed ALL MY LIFE that my mind kicks into high gear once everyone else is sleeping. I cannot tell you how many times my 5yr old body watched the tv go off and come back on with the sunrise. (Oh, when I was a kid, tv went off at a certain time and played the star-spangled banner or something til early morning.) Now we get infomercials : /

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   brakel2posted 10 years ago

   I play relaxing tape bedtime. Wind down slowly. Stop eating drinking way before bedtime   Being outside does rest brain. Also listening to music helps. Try to stay in the moment.

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      Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      That alone is huge, huh?

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   Cgenaeaposted 10 years ago

   Music is the WORST bedtime accompaniment for me. I feel as if im losing this game.
   Lyrics are in my heart. I sing the entire song!!!. It keeps me awake.

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   Cgenaeaposted 10 years ago

   Music is the WORST bedtime accompaniment for me. I feel as if im losing this game.
   Lyrics are in my heart. I sing the entire song!!!. It keeps me awake.

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      Dave36posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Iv'e got a tip that really works but has to be practised often, when ever you do your house work do it with no music or T.V playing....Same when showering or driving etc, only concentrate on the job in hand & try not to let your mind drift into thinking....The trouble with our minds is we use it to much in my opinion, & therefore give it too much influence/power/control over us....It's the same with worrying why do people worry?, & what does worrying achieve?....It achieves absolutely nothing positive at all, & yet people still worry....To prove what i'm saying grab 3 apples or oranges, & then try to juggle them....You will find that while your focusing on trying to juggle, it's impossible to think at the same time....With mindful meditating practise which can be done anywhere, no matter where you are or what your doing you can do it at the same time....You will start seeing your mind being switched on & off, & eventually your mind will mostly only operate when you ask it to....I was the obsessive/compulsive thinker over analyser for years, & it was ruining my life & mental health....So i learn't this off the internet over around 8 months, it's not really hard it just takes time....So instead of singing a song at night in bed when your trying to sleep, picture your hand/foot/toe whatever in your mind, & hold it there while you relax, or listen intently to the silence....When you get good at this, your'l start feeling a tingling sensation in what ever part of your body your picturing in your mind....If & when you can do that, you then concentrate on the tingling instead of a part of your body.....I never found anything even close to this technique for quietening my mind, & if i hadn't have found it who know's how bad i would have been now....So that's why i wrote all this, because it does work even though it sounds a bit strange....Also try to make sure your actually tired enough to sleep by bed time, a lot of the time i worried about not being able to sleep, but a lot of the time it was because i'd got up to late!lol :-)

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         Cgenaeaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         I thought about it. It went like this in my head:
         My toe, wonder if it's going to tingle. I wonder which toe I should think about. It's not tingling. It shouldn't take that long. I wonder if Im doing it right.
         I'm addicted!!!

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            Dave36posted 10 years agoin reply to this

            It is tricky to start with i will admit but i'll give you a tip, is there a part of your body that's easier to focus on?...For example i used to wear gold rings on my right hand, so when i started with it i tried to picture my ring fingers in my mind....So do you paint your finger nails?, if so picture them in your mind, & "try" to hold it there....A good way to start off would be to listen intently to the silence, & if you start thinking as soon as your aware of it you go back to listening....You will go back & forth, & it won't happen over night....It's a bit like riding a bike you keep practising, & one day you've got it....It was a couple of weeks practise before i got, & could hold the tingling sensation instead of picturing something in my mind...For a much better description utube Eckhart Tolle, & watch his vids on mindful meditation & the ego mind..I don't think iv'e done it justice, because it is the greatest thing iv'e learn't.

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               Cgenaeaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

               Cool! I will look him up and try him out. Thanks.
               I think I just got used to thinking, wee morn. Thought it was my lot for life.
               We shall see how this goes.

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                  Dave36posted 10 years agoin reply to this

                  Your right mate you just got used to it that's all, it's perfectly normal nowadays what with all there is to think about etc....It's like that old saying we give our minds "food for thought", so instead of feeding it we put it on a diet.lol

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      Motown2Chitownposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I feel that way about music when I'm working or studying.  It's awesome for bedtime, but I also have the lyrics issue....I want to sing the songs I love.  So, I generally use only very mellow instrumental stuff for bedtime.  For me, because I startle very easily, I've found it to be the best way of masking other sounds. If I'm drifting off and a car door slams, or a siren blares, or someone yells outside, I tend to awaken in an unpleasant way. Gentle instrumentals keep me from hearing those things. Might be worth a shot.

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         Cgenaeaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Music sets my system ablaze. The music i love as well as that that I dont love. Melodies are mind capturing as well. Hmmm-ha-hum- de- daaa- de- da... I sing that part too (I got it bad. My dad was a Gospel music DJ when I was a kid. Music played aaaallll the time. I in every choir that came my way am a singer from deep down.
         However. The fan!  That whitenoise really works for me. It drowns out sounds and creates a soothing atmosphere. Though it must be turned away from me (sinuses will die by morning otherwise) it helps. Though I am still a night owl since childhood. The fan works best.
         Well, a beer and 200 mg of ibuprofen when its emergency sleep I need. Yes, I am aware of the stomach risk so it is rare, but that cocktail is unmatched in situations when sleep is absolutely imperative. Don't judge me.
         Well go ahead; iownt care...
         Btw, my Dad took Unisom almost nightly for about 20 years. My grand ma just stayed up; and took 10 min naps all day.
         I think insomnia was passed down.

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            Motown2Chitownposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            I agree.  I think it is definitely possible that our sleep patterns and habits can be passed down.  I was a night-owl/all nighter as a younger person.  My mom told me I'd become more of a morning person as I got older, like she was, and BAM!, up early every day now. 
            
            I can see the difficulty with music, though.  There are certain instrumentals I absolutely can't do no matter what. It does get into your soul, doesn't it?

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    Cgenaeaposted 10 years ago

    Yeah. Music is like that. I'm still a nighter. I am now awaken by Gia. she's the early bird. Or BUSY bird is probably a better description. So I do 4 to 6 hours a day. Which is better now that I am older. Cranky during childhood.

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       Motown2Chitownposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       My dogs help with the wake up calls.  My daughter only gets up early for school.  Otherwise (teenager), she's NOT an early bird. 

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    Cgenaeaposted 10 years ago

    I would have so envied her. In high school, there wasn't an alarm clock built that could break my 7a REM. my mom's yelling and yelling and sometimes yelling again was imperative to getting me jump-started. It was a crazy time in my life.
    And then my adulthood had early morning jobs (to which I was faithfully late/fired)

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       Motown2Chitownposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       She gets herself up on time every school day...no matter what.  That's why I cut her slack on weekends.  Trust me, if everyone had the problems with their teenagers that I have with mine, they'd beg for more of them.  I am blessed big time!

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    Cgenaeaposted 10 years ago

    Nice! that is truly a blessing to be able to say. MY teenager... God help him on his journey.

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       Motown2Chitownposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       I don't believe that God ignores the sincere prayers of a mother. The miracle may not happen in our lifetime, or the way we were expecting, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen.  I'll gladly add my prayers to yours.

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    Cgenaeaposted 10 years ago

    Thanks!!! the kid could use all the intercession available. 18 was rough for me too. But he is doing better, I must admit.

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