Do YOU always have to rescue your younger siblings psychologically and/or financially? Do YOU feel that your younger siblings do not carry their weight as far as responsibilities go, ALWAYS coming to and/or relying upon YOU to save the day? Do YOU financially support less successful siblings, oftentimes putting the siblings before your husband and children much to the latter's chagrin? Has YOUR spouse or significant other told you that your siblings are/should be responsible for themselves? Are YOU continuously being burdened with sibling responsibilities because you are THE OLDEST and thought to be THE RESPONSIBLE ONE, OLD RELIABLE? Are YOUR younger siblings are either deadweight or fail to contribute their share of responsibilities? Is YOUR life second to that of your younger siblings, always putting their needs and desires before your own? What is YOUR view upon being the oldest child as an adult?
I am the oldest in my adoption family, and I can truthfully say no, absolutely not. My brother is a very successful businessman and quite an independent fellow. I love him very much, but no, I've never had to play the shoulder-to-cry on or purse-to-borrow-from with him. But if he needed my help, I definitely would hope I'd come through for him. He's a great human being with many admirable qualities.
I must say that I do not necessarily agree with the philosophy behind what you are saying. Of course, there will be times when our siblings come to us with their woes and troubles. The world, after all, isn't exactly a kind place all the time. When they do come, I believe it is our responsibility to give them a little guidance. Considering the fact that we may have already experienced what they are going through, we can at least tell them our experiences and see how things go from there.
I do not believe that the family is a place to start asking, "what can be done for me,' but instead we can ask ourselves, "what can I do for them?"
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