HOW SHOULD A PARENT DEMONSTRATE MENTAL HYGIENE TO CHILDREN?

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   NGRIA Bassettposted 14 years ago

   We demonstrate and teach our kids to maintain physical health, how well do we model the importance of boundaries, balance etc.

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      Demi writesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      This is such an excellent question. I think mental hygiene passing down to your children happens naturally.  The way you relate to yourself, others, community, issues, challenges, relationships are all being recorded by your children automatically.  From that point, they set their parameters or challenge them.

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      rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I've written an article on teaching young children respect, I think it falls into this category. respect is boundaries and tolerance, acceptance. we don't 'own' our children. parents need to respect their child by giving them the love and tools they need to be a decent human being.
      http://hubpages.com/hub/Teaching-Values … oung-Child

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      Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      How well?
      Not well, usually.
      
      HOW?
      ...monitor their intake.  Help them to properly digest the stuff they DO hear and see.
      Especially, for Heaven's sake, keep them far away from the influence of Obama and his minions.

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   sneakorocksolidposted 14 years ago

   Fifteen minutes sucking on a bar of Irish Spring should do it!

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   mandybeau1posted 14 years ago

   

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   yoshi97posted 14 years ago

   By setting good examples ... We as parents must behave as the adults we wish our children to become.

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      rmcrayneposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      True.  Unfortunately what most of us teach the next generation is:  When you become an adult, take care of everyone and everything around you, but don’t take the time to take care of yourself.

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   Mishaposted 14 years ago

   Umm, may be by refraining from posting on HP forums?

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      nicompposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe we shouldn't inflict our 1985 yearbook photo on them.
      
      

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   Lady_Eposted 14 years ago

   Maybe by not swearing infront of them and if you can't help it change the "Sh*t" to "Sugar".
   
   Sorry, just being practical.

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      Dame Scribeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      true, I use to say sheep! sheep! lol, but would just also add, that maintaining that you are the parent and always, always, give the reason to *why* when asked or when teaching your kids communication is key, keep it real, honest and open.

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         Pearldiverposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Dame Scribe.... "Bah!" When someone in BumbleTown says "Sheep! Sheep!" it's usually because they're trying to convince one to get into their car or their freezer!

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      Rochelle Frankposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Deleted
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         wyanjenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I could not get my ex to stop saying the thirteen letter word (m--f--) in front of my niece. I would get me so mad.
         I swear as much as any sailor, so the language didn't bother me. And my niece would say to me, "It's OK - I've heard people swear before"
         But, my ex never figured out that he stopped being the "cool" uncle in her eyes.

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   kirstenblogposted 14 years ago

   I work at a primary school (like grade school) and see the kids who are happy and well behaved and such then look at the parents....
   I have learned that the parents are just as happy and balanced, they never seem stressed and on the verge of snapping and while I don't know exactly how they do it I try to learn from them as I want to have a child myself soon.
   
   What gets up my nose is parents who don't parent! They feed the kids yes, the kids have good clothing yes but thats it. A perfect stranger is more likely to teach these kids how to behave in the world then the parents themselves. On friday I saw this just out side the school at the bus stop, the kids were snacking on crisps (potato chips) and threw their rubbish over the fence into the park. It took a park ranger (I assume thats what he was) to tell the kids not to throw their rubbish in the shrubs but to walk that 20 feet to the bin and throw it away properly. The moms just stood there and continued gossiping. Some days I have to yell down to those kids at the bus stop not to dart in and out of the road, that the road is not a safe place to play and the parents do nothing. As the school crossing patroller I see it all the time and am amazed that I have not actually seen a kid hit by a car yet. Sad thing is that some parents are even worse and if you tell their kids off or ask them to tell their kids off they get angry and upset at someone telling them or their kids what to do. I just cannot fathom how these parents can be so lazy and how they can breed successfully!

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   sarah dawkinsposted 14 years ago

   I fully agree with kirstenblog.  Well said.  Kids today seem ferral due to the lack of discipline.  We are having a hard time with our 15 year old daughter.  We try and instill old fashioned principles and discipline, but she doesn't see many of her friends parents doing the same, infact most of her friends always have money and seem to be allowed to do whatever they want.  It's a constant battle. 
   
   We try to act as good role models, but we don't always get it right.  I do believe that  socialism has contributed greatly to the current behaviour trends.  I mean, is sending badly behaved kids on an all expenses paid cruise because they haven't had a good start in life the best thing we can do??  I say bring back public humiliation, that would soon stop it in its tracks.  But hey, who am I, just a Mum that wants better for her daughter and to see punishment as a deterrent to a crime, like it always used to be.

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   kirstenblogposted 14 years ago

   What I find really sad is that a lot of the kids at my school are really good kids even the ones with behavior problems. If you ask them to do a job they light up with pride and if your not careful you will be asked daily several times daily 'do you have a job for me to do?'. I can't come up with enough jobs for these kids to do! It seems like they are starved for ways to build up feelings of self pride outside of getting good marks on their homework. When I ask the kids if they would put something in the bin for me as I cannot leave my post by the road they are always happy to help and often ask me why I don't just leave it on the road. I am always happy to explain that leaving rubbish can be dangerous for anyone who comes along and steps on it or that it can attract animals that carry disease like rats and that ultimately someone has to pick it up, if not me then someone hired by the local government which means higher taxes for me, I would rather just do the job myself. This is my park and my school and if I want it to be a nice place its my job to look after it! They don't seem to have ever had anyone actually explain this simple stuff to them and they often soak it up. I don't have to tell them off or make them feel bad, they learn from me and that makes me proud of my work, they get praise from me and that makes them proud of themselves. It is not hard at all for me to teach these kids the basics of life, they do actually seem to appreciate it and I am very popular with the kids because I am willing to explain things to them as best as I am able.

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      Lady_Eposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      This is lovely and those kids are lucky to have you. The point I'm getting at is that, there are some children who learn more from their teachers in school than from their parents at home. I'm also not pointing fingers at parents - now due to financial issues, in most cases, both parents work, sometimes long hours (to provide for the family) but the baby sitter is left to do the parenting.

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    Mishaposted 14 years ago

    He-he, I love Photoshop.
    
    But don't know how to use it

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    Laura Ray, cWCposted 14 years ago

    One of the biggest mistakes that I see parents make is not being consistent.  As a parent, when wisdom is used to establish a good example and a good lesson, just telling it once is not good enough.  It takes time to create a habit and instill that habit in our children.  The habits that you are consistent with, whether good or bad, are the ones that they will parrot.  It may be difficult to uphold the standard that you want your children to meet, but parenting is difficult.  Once they get it, the lessons are easier to teach. 
    
    Another great thing to teach them, is to stop speaking and thinking poorly about themselves by teaching them to come up with something positive when they are thinking negatively about themselves.  Helping a child to recognize that there is a lesson to be learned in their mistakes early on will go a long way when they are dealing with peer pressure.  It sets them up for reliance on themselves to establish confidence and self esteem instead of looking for approval.  That will assist them in more effectively dealing with stress.
    
    Managing stress is something I wish I had learned as a child.  It would have been so much easier to learn what things are not a big deal, what things are worth fighting for, and how to create positive energy instead of negative energy when things don't go right.  Later in life, that is a more difficult lesson to learn.  Even harder is to try teaching it to your child when you are just learning it yourself.
    
    Happy and Healthy Parenting!

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    Laura Ray, cWCposted 14 years ago

    One of the biggest mistakes that I see parents make is not being consistent.  As a parent, when wisdom is used to establish a good example and a good lesson, just telling it once is not good enough.  It takes time to create a habit and instill that habit in our children.  The habits that you are consistent with, whether good or bad, are the ones that they will parrot.  It may be difficult to uphold the standard that you want your children to meet, but parenting is difficult.  Once they get it, the lessons are easier to teach. 
    
    Another great thing to teach them, is to stop speaking and thinking poorly about themselves by teaching them to come up with something positive when they are thinking negatively about themselves.  Helping a child to recognize that there is a lesson to be learned in their mistakes early on will go a long way when they are dealing with peer pressure.  It sets them up for reliance on themselves to establish confidence and self esteem instead of looking for approval.  That will assist them in more effectively dealing with stress.
    
    Managing stress is something I wish I had learned as a child.  It would have been so much easier to learn what things are not a big deal, what things are worth fighting for, and how to create positive energy instead of negative energy when things don't go right.  Later in life, that is a more difficult lesson to learn.  Even harder is to try teaching it to your child when you are just learning it yourself.
    
    Happy and Healthy Parenting!

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    donotfearposted 14 years ago

    We set an example of good mental hygeine by displaying appropriate responses to life stressors instead of self-defeating behaviors. Accept your child'e emotions (anger, sadness, love, hate, embarassment, etc) and acknowledge their emotion; not by lashing out, yelling or hitting. Express your understanding of their feelings by responding with active listening and be consistent with consequences of inappropriate behavior. There must be a consequence for the negative action, at the same time acknowledge the feeling/emotion in the child and teach better coping methods.

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       rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       excellent, I couldn't agree with you more.

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    NGRIA Bassettposted 14 years ago

    I have found that even as a health care professional for years before I had children, the task seem so overwhelming that we turned to every resource available to ensure that we did the best job that we could.
    Most parents need hands on assistance with raising their children and before the kids become unruly.
    It is wonderful to know that there are still teachers who teach and nurture kids because we cannot think that they are all coming from ideal homes.
    Thanks to those who are helping kids in anyway these days, if someone doesn't the entire community and the world will become their victims.

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    glorybeenowposted 14 years ago

    They say it takes a village to raise a child, I guess you just have to be careful of the "village" you allow them to participate in. Mental health is something they not only learn from the parents but also outside influences.

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    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    Now why on earth would you feel the need to take a good, sensible thread like this one and turn it into a partisan political shot?

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       wyanjenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       It is a bizarre post...
       It certainly doesn't demonstrate good mental hygiene.

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          Niteriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Who is this dashing damsel frolicing in the hayfield?

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             wyanjenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Frolic?
             Dude, I'm way to clumsy to frolic.
             
             I'm pretty good at lumbering though...

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                Niteriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                I'm still working my way through those blue pills you gave me. It looks like frolicing to me!

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                   wyanjenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   Those blue pills are icing on the cake.
                   Like adding nitrous to a Saleen Mustang.
                   
                   It turns the dial up all the way to eleven.

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                      Niteriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                      I'm still dreaming about that visit in the spring.

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                         wyanjenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                         I have a few twonies,  waiting to be spent
                         

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                            Niteriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                            I dream nightly. My days are spent waiting for the nights.

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          Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Here's good mental hygiene. You,ve got mail. I googled wyanjen and you have two pages. I think that would clean up the defeat you felt earlier. Good thoughts and positive feedback are so important.

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             wyanjenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Thanks Faybe
             
             That was sweet.
             I've got the wyanjen market cornered for sure

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       Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Doesn't matter if you consider it partisan or political or what.
       
       Our children are influenced highly by whoever is the most famous and most powerful,  and by the reactions of adults TO those people in power.
       
       It's one of the most relevant and immediate concerns a parent should have for their children/grandchildren's mental well-being.

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          Niteriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          How about starting by teaching them to respect your President whatever political party he happens to represent? Then you could perhaps take some time and explain both sides of your political alternatives so your kids could make intelligent choices for themselves. As opposed to having your personal views rammed down their throats.

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             Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Because it wouldn't be healthy to make a child respect someone who isn't acting respectably, simply for the sake of respecting their position of power.  Matter of fact, it should be just the opposite.  A person in power should have to be transparent and responsible, both literally and morally. That's why.

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                Niteriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                I think I just spotted an opinion masquerading as a fact.

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                wyanjenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                Sorry Brenda, but teaching disrespect to a child is not good mental hygiene.
                I'll have to disagree with you here.

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                   Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   Could that be why Hitler gained influence over a whole nation?
                   I think so.

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                      Niteriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                      There's a tremendous gap in the logic here that I can't bridge.

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                      wyanjenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                      Um. No.
                      I'm not talking about independent thought, rational logic, or a decent amount of intelligence.
                      I'm talking about basic respect.
                      
                      I've said it before Brenda; I hope you just posted that to try to get me riled up.
                      Hitler? Seriously?

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                         Niteriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                         Stay cool, Jen. Your thoughts are still flowing in the right sequence.

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                            wyanjenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                            Thanks for the affirmation.
                            I've been testing out my fancy new blender this evening. I'm finding that it is much better than my old one for mixing the rum and kahlua with the ice cream. I'm finding some very subtle nuances...
                            Each time I mix a new batch, it gets bigger.
                            er, I mean better. hic.

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                               Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                               Kahlua, amaretto, coffee, hot chocolate and Captain Morgan's spiced rum with a dash of espresso to keep the party going, add whipped cream if you like.

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                               Niteriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                               If you keep THAT up I just might not wait til spring!

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                                  wyanjenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                                  

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             Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Deleted
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                Niteriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                Thank you for that. The message is powerful; too bad more people don't stop long enough to hear the thought.

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    Faybe Bayposted 14 years ago

    Yeah I took it out because they are not going to like it I think

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    lovelypaperposted 14 years ago

    It takes some extra effort to teach our kids respect for others, particularly their elders. We live in a rude, do-as-you-please, I-want-it-now! society. Whatever happened to yes mame, yes, sir?

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       Niteriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Kids learn how to treat others by watching Mom and Dad. Yelling and name-calling do not usually lead to "Yes ma'am" and "Yes sir".

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          Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          sidebar you might like this. it's old and He's since passed on but this is the only version I could find free.
          
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNf5nFxY3rA
          
          we can delete if you think it's of topic He'd been in an accident and had brain damage(true story) everyone is laughing but he really had to have his songs taught to him again.

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             Niteriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             If you keep this up you'll have me converted into a big Larry Norman fan! Not that that's a bad thing.

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                Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                Already wrote the hub about him

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    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    I'll check it out.

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    Faybe Bayposted 14 years ago

    not why I came in but he was right, the country has been in bad shape a long time and we are a huge village.

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    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    Faybe is giving you a run for your money there, gran bebedor! My bestest pal Jen!

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       wyanjenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Hey now, drinking is not a contest.
       Unless there is a drinking contest going on.
       
       I'm perfectly content with my rum mudslides. Especially with my fancy new blender...

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    Faybe Bayposted 14 years ago

    Hey I love jen, I found out she has two pages on google which was on topic as positive stuff for good mental health!

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       wyanjenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       You didn't need to google me to find that out
       
       I don't keep secrets. It's why I wandered into this forum, as a matter of fact. My folks did a great job in this area, but I can't say the same for all my little buddies from school.
       I'm surprised (and bummed out) when I run into an old friend who never took that last step of... thinking for himself.
       It's happened a couple times. I say, "Well, nice to see you again after so many years." And then I don't get back in touch for a few more years.

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    Faybe Bayposted 14 years ago

    And I posted my best recipe for getting through the night while still being articulate in the forum, lots of positive stuff.

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    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    I delare a drinking contest!

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    Faybe Bayposted 14 years ago

    We'd have to get another forum we are gonna be accused of hijacking this thread. I do not want to get caught drinking in the mental health room it's bad for my image... You did see my image?

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    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    The image I see says you might already have gotten too involved in the contest. But I LOVE to hijack threads.

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    Faybe Bayposted 14 years ago

    No it's "I'm wrecked and hanging on by a tread." Not drunk driver.

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    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    Okay, I'll buy that. But do you think we've successfully hijacked this thread?

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    Faybe Bayposted 14 years ago

    As long as we stay on topic, like... Not drinking in front of the kids cuz it sends a bad message. and agreeing to disagree thanks for the mail.

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    wyanjenposted 14 years ago

    

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       Niteriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Right. There you go, SmartyPants. We're still discussing this is the spirit of keeping it away from the kids. Which is protecting their mental hygiene much like preventing them from playing in the mud.... I think so anyway.

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    Faybe Bayposted 14 years ago

    I am not a hijacker

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       Niteriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I am. Osama Bin Niteriter.

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          wyanjenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          

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    Faybe Bayposted 14 years ago

    Okay so long as it wasn't me am I gonna be an accessory after the fact or aiding and abbetting. I must get my story straight.

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    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    You can be Saddam. He got blamed and hanged but he didn't do anything. You might be dead but at least you'll be innocent.

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    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    I have to go. It was really fun. Good night all.

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       wyanjenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       nite nite niteriter
       
       take it easy

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          Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Nite

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