it is not cool they can be nice and pretty but people don't think that way they can't help being fat they try to lose weight but they will still have loose skin come on yall have some niceness in u an stop picking on these kids.
Well I can't answer the first question, because I'm not a girl. I don't however think that 'only' pretty people think being fat is unattractive. If being fat was considered ok even by other fat people, then fat people would be chasing after fat people. But fat people don't want to be with fat people, and they consider being fat themselves as being bad. I believe the societal choice that being a fat person makes one less of a person is based on the fact that anyone can be fat. Being fat is easy, and requires no self disipline what so ever. Being beautiful on the other hand can be very difficult. Humanity prizes the things that are rare, difficult, and special, since the act of being fat isn't special, it isn't desirable either. Considering yourself to be undesirable can make a person less than amiable, grouchy even. Being overly sensitive to the obvious 'flaw' that they hold against themselves, can also make a person grouchy. The jealousy against those that don't show the same 'flaw' makes them (fat people) unfriendly to the beautiful people. Fat people feel uncomfortable around the beautiful people because they fear being compared to the beautiful people. At best they look for the proof that a beautiful person thinks less of them... All of these feelings(baggage) makes it difficult for true and amicable interaction. Young age and the peer pressures of adolescence, combined with less than perfectly developed social skills, are why people come away from childhoods with some less than perfect self-esteem. Some bruised feelings are carried with them their entire lives.
The heralding cries "It isn't my fault" "God made me this way" "I can't help it"... Are considered by most just to be lame excuses from people unwilling to do the work that being beautiful requires. No one has ever said that being beautiful was easy.
*there are some, very few, medical conditions that cannot be helped, but those conditions are not the reason 80% of the U.S. polulation is Fat. 80% of us are fat because we are lazy, unwilling to exercise, and have poor eating habits.
Tell ya the truth Mike, I was always what people called "Chubby" when I was younger and I was also called "beautiful". It does take a lot of work to be beautiful and money too. But I never even attempted to be a size 6 and never thought it was necessary. I was a size 10/12 and still had guys chasing after me. All my life. Was I just lucky? Beauty my friend, is still and always has been in the eye of the beholder. Oh, I should add, my skinny ass blonde friend never had as many dates and boyfriends as I did. Hmmm.... Additionally, there are people who are heavy and it is not their fault. Example: I went to an endocrinologist who told me I should not consume more than 1200 calories per day and do aerobics every day to lose weight. The moron never even suggested a healthy diet, but informed me I had a "very sluggish metabolism". The only reason I went in the first place was my husband wanted to know why I ate so little and never lost weight. The doctor wanted me to eat even less AND work out. I never did of course. And don't forget there are also food addicts. They are addicts just like any other addict and need help, not scorn and criticism. I have seen some pretty butt ugly skinny girls by the way....haven't you?
Some of the most boring people I have met have been the really pretty ones. I went on a date with a girl once who was one of the prettiest women I have ever met. 20 minutes in to the date and I found myself wishing for an exit more than anything else. She didn't seem to have any thoughts going on in that head of hers.
I do want to say I don't care about someone's weight really. I care about being bullied personally and as a type generally by women with low self-esteem.
You covered some of it, especially giving insight into why they do this, but the parts about public perception and stuff, up to the last few years, I didn't really fall into that category because I judge people by how they interact with me and others.
Frankly the people I think are ugly and nasty, it's more about their behaviour (making false assumptions about other women and attacking and belittling them constantly) than about their weight. Whatever hostility I have now is a result of years and years of being the recipient of fat girl rage on the internet. It's an understandable reaction. No one likes to be cyberbullied or constantly insulted (or pack-slandered) for years.
That was the part of your post I particularly agreed with.
One of my exes from a seven year relationship weighs 325. We still talk. One of my best friends from 2-18 was big and weight was never an issue at all. I would never be called a weighest irl.
I believe some overweight people might be a little insecure because of some "attractive" people go out of their way to make a person feel that way. I have been overweight all my life and I would never dislike a person who to themselves feel they are more attractive then me. Its all about confidence and got a lot of it. I consider myself (fatabulous) and I treat all people with respect and show much love because that is what I want in return. We all just want to be respected and not judged by a physical appearance, and unfortunately a lot of "attractive" people judge books by covers instead of reading the contents inside. If you don't have the patience to skim through whats inside, I say just go to the back of the book and read the summary that says "kiss my fat ass". I am sure a lot of "Fat Unattractive" people feel the same way.
Ive never thought that. Ive never picked on anyone for their size. I got picked on alot for being skinny when I was a kid. Now girls who are bigger then me automatically think Im a bitch and wont even talk to me.
More than won't talk to you. More like go out of their way to bully and harass. Not all, but many obese women seem to bully women they perceive to be slender online regularly and justify it as getting back at some other people from their childhood who were nasty to them.
Frankly this just perpetuates the cycle. I never traditionally disliked big people, and in fact I used to date bigger men. But after six years of being stalked online by a fatty and two or three of her fat buddies, my opinion has changed considerably.
You notice this hatred of perceived to be attractive people is only on women BY women? I still don't have any ill feelings towards bigger men, but dealing with fat women slagging attractive women all over the internet all the time and in packs has altered my perceptions of fat women.
In real life, this problem rarely occurs. I don't have problems with bigger women irl. Some of my friends are big and they certainly don't give or get hostility from me.
Seemingly the internet anonymity allows for some people to be much ruder on the net than they would ever dare to be in real life. After a while, you get really tired of comments about 'real women', 'pre-pubescent boys', 'ugly on the inside' and 'anorexia'. I think it might be time for healthy women to fight back. Trying to be 'nice' generally or ignoring it isn't solving the problem. If fat women can dis slender women all day long on the net, why can't thin women at least take up for themselves once in a while... why the double standard on behavior?
I'm pretty sure if you're in the pack that is stalking me online and irl anyway, you aren't a thin guy. Thanks for the internet threat though. You folks have already shot your wad.
What are you going to do, downthumb brigade all my Hubs, slander me to everyone who will listen, make it too uncomfortable to post anywhere because of your multis on multiple message boards? Try to get people to beat me up irl by posting threads giving out my location begging them to do so by manipulating them with lies? Send multis to 'befriend me' to get my current physical location and phone number? Keep it up for six years??
If you're part of that tiny mob, you already are doing all that and haven't stopped no matter how long I take sabbaticals or ignore it. I haven't said anything online about these constant behaviors in two years and they still haven't stopped.
I am completely isolated online.
What else are you going to do? Be explicit. I'd love to see it in print.
I reckon I burned 80 calories in my sleep last night too MOW I was tossing around like a hamburger on a roll, the most strange dreams. At one stage I was running from toxic gas, next minute I dived in the ocean and got my ankle bitten by a shark (no wonder I was the only one in the sea)
im a fat bitch and damn proud lol ... there aint nothing wrong with being a big girl or skinny ... i think people that judge you and assume shit based on your size are fucking idiots plain and simple ... they arent worth the time that gets wasted on them if they think they are better than you or me ... sorry my opinion
It goes a lot deeper than what people might think and that's all I'm saying on it.
The opening question is subjective to how other people perceive another person. The assumption that "girls" always "think" fat(subjective?) girls are automatically ugly and nasty?
The generalization with "always", not possibly being obtained, projecting an assumption. If a "fat" person being a girl looks at another girl who is fat, and they consider them ugly and nasty, then what is it saying about themselves?
If a skinny person being a girl, looks at another girl who is "fat" and considers them ugly or nasty? Then it says a lot about her.
I think the bigger question is are they correct? At what point does it get, where it isn't?
I'm sorry, but there are some, they have no beauty because their personality is just as bad as their looks. Their outlook is just as bad too.
Those who are extremely overweight and cannot control their weight? Is a disease. Those who can control their own weight, but simply refuse to? Then this also demonstrates something else is a problem on a deeper level.
No offense to anyone. But, obesity is the #1 problem in America and IF it is seen as acceptable? Then what does that say?
Excellent break down of the above slightly misleading question Cagsill - I think its may be of worth to say too that in a lot of ways we woman are so harsh in our judgements of each other. Bullying starts so young and seems to instill ideals that are misleading and full of assumptions. I try really hard to teach my kids and myself to look first always for the good and build from there
I'm sorry but I think you totally misunderstood what I said - thanks for your reply - but it is negative and unhelpful and nothing really to do with my reply - if you read it - I actually agreed with you - so I apoligise for whatever you've read into my words that lead you to reply in this way - FYI - I dont feed myself 'that' or my children, who are very health conscious actually. So please dont insinuate on my words either .
It's not a problem. Worse has been said behind by back.
And, on a side note. It's not a question about being "fat"?
It's a matter of self-respect and health, actually. It really comes down to whether or not a person is honest and true to themselves.
Their individual ability to control their weight and not to do it for their own health, show a lack of self. Regardless of what people say.
Those who have the disease, because their body absorbed more body fat than the average person....then it needs medical assistance and them restricting their diet. Again, effort on self, with self-respect and faith in themselves to get to a healthy weight, so they can live a longer and happier life.
Their individual outlook about life can have a devastating effect on their own weight. The stress and tension they bring on themselves with also add to it.
Sorry, but it's an important topic. It's not about being pretty or anything like that....it's about being completely healthy and living a long life.
Their health is their choice so I don't care about that so much as I care about them vomiting their insecurities all over me personally as a result of the mental and emotional issues that are also a part of binge-eating disorder. They can do what they want with their own lives, it's their lives, but when it starts affecting my life, it matters to me. .
I think it is more about self esteem than outsiders opinions. It is easy to convince our selves that because a skinny girl was mean to me it must be because I am fat or vise-versa. It is not easy to acknowledge that we project our own feelings of unworthiness onto others. Stand up and be proud of who you are.
As 110 pounds naturally, I ask you since I judge no one by their weight do you judge or mock me? yes. Many call me a bitch. Hilarious. I give u what you want. not. wish no one judged anyone but we do driven from our own insecurities, and its a way to cope from some.
Definitely beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I have always hated generalizations about skinny girls and fat girls. Sometimes people will say "fat and ugly" like the two automatically go together. Either one of those makes the other true so I wish people would stop saying it as if they are synonomous to each other. The same with skinny and bitch. I think that one was born of jealousy and nothing more.
I've seen a lot of bigger girls who I thought were amazingly gorgeous so... I don't think your assumption of how women think is correct at all.
Of course, I'm more of an average-sized girl. Not skinny, not really fat. I have a little bit of a pudge, I guess. Of course, most of my exes thought that pudge was cute
It's all about your idea of beauty, really. Most people I know aren't too judgmental when it comes to looks. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just because one person says you're ugly doesn't mean the next person you meet won't say that you're the most beautiful person they've ever lay eyes on. Trust me, I've been called ugly and beautiful.
I have heard women say things about me under their breath and have been given the cold shoulder or worse from some women..I don't understand it...They give me crap for the way I eat at work, I get nasty looks when at a club or bar..I work hard to stay fit but don't think I'm gorgeous and sure don't walk around like I'm something special...I'm nice to everyone and smile all the time..I have never understood why women are like this?? So I'm tall and thin...so what? Does that make me a bitch?
I've been watching this post all day....all the insights and comments. Fact of the matter is, if anyone is insecure they are going to criticize those who they feel to be superior in intelligence, looks, whatever. I'm an average sized person but am accused of looking 10 years younger than I am. Fabulous. But I take ALOT of B.S. from alot of other women for it. So, I don't go out of my way to give people shit because of their looks but I DO have to go out of my way to prove my intelligence, etc. to others.
One other point.....this forum was started by an individual who just wanted to start something and has no merit behind it. In fact the grammar, spelling, etc. in the original question (statement) is reminiscent of my 13 year old texting me on a weekend. If this person is overweight and has an issue....perhaps its not the weight that people are attacking? Just sayin...again, fire away....don't really care today.
I can not answer this question honestly as I am not thin although I do not consider myself fat either. I think the reason that thin people, not just girls have a tendency to be nasty towards larger people is down to jealousy.
Larger people always tend to have a happy go lucky appearance. This must be hard to accept from people who probably have to go to the gym every other day if not more and eat very little of the foods they like just so that they look perfect.
To be honest I think that girls treat larger girls like that because they are insecure with themselves and have to pick on other people to make them feel better about themselves. Which is very wrong and cruel because were all different be it size,colour,creed, race, religion or gender and prejudging people is the wrong attitude to take. I never judge people, if your nice to me Im nice to you, if your nasty to me then i don't speak to you. Its the old approach if you cant say something nice dont say anything at all.
I totally agree with you Calpol the saying "you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all" is one that many more people should abide by. I to take people as I see them and rarely make a wrong choice due to this.
I've never really had a problem with women saying anything to me but have from the men. They seem to be such visual creatures. if they only knew that while they were waiting for the float with the beauty queens the rest of the parade is passing them by.....
As for me when, I see a person male or female how I treat them depends on their attitude. The most beutiful person can be ugly if what's inside is ugly.
I think the question itself makes assumptions and therefore the OP is perhaps being judgmental as well. There are women who are ugly outside, ugly inside and ugly in both places. There is also a good nasty and a bad nasty. fat girls as you put it in the original question can be quite fun to be with--let me tell you!
sometimes it's not the persons fault they're overweight. i for one lived in a bad family environment. if i didn't finish the food on my plate i had to put up with emotional and physical abuse. as you guessed i was very overweight and depressed. since becoming an adult i have moved away from that situation. i have already started losing weight and still going. my advice is to look at someones home life before making a harsh judgement call.
Inside ying and yang to keep the balance of kind and nasty/jealousy. If someone has something of interest to others, You will try and get the same and if you can't, Then you show disdain or diss the honesty that people see. Big or small it is the person. You do not need a big frame to hold a small mind?
A promblem been going on for centuries. Not only girls think that, but guys as well. Alot has to with the media and our social world. Skinny girls are sexy and attractive to the pleasing eye, while fat girls are consider ugly. This is not true. Inside is what counts. Beauty is skin deep. Alot of people are having a hard time understanding this. GOD BLESS!!!!
Foruntaley I never had weight problems. I was not popular nor attractive so it was one less thing to deal with. This is one reason more real people need to be on TV especailly soap operas and movies. It is unrealsitc to think all women are size 6 in real life.I go by how a person treats me though you shouldnt sit around feeling sorry for yourself if you can do something Kids should learn early tot reat all with respect and looks are secondary.
So the statement is Heavy= Ugly & Nasty Pretty=Nice Well that isn’t an equal analogy. It should be Skinny=Pretty & Kept Which is false? I’ve seen some very skinny crack heads that were not very pretty nor did they keep themselves clean.
As for the Pretty=Nice... It can be true, but sometimes even Heavy/Pretty Woman won’t give a Skinny/Pretty/Nice woman a chance to be nice, because they themselves judge a book by its cover. I don’t think it is fair to segregate the hate that people show towards others who may be different them themselves...It is a person by person, unappealing character flaw that some need to be kicked in the butt for. No one deserves to be judged before they are known (no matter the appearance)
This thread inspired me to write a Hub - thanks. (Although I have to say that as a girl I never thought "fat" girls were "ugly and nasty". To be honest, I was secretly glad I didn't have a weight problem, but I saw how pretty some overweight girls in school were. This won't win me any medals for not being self-centered as a young kid, but I didn't think much about other girls' weight or looks because I was too wrapped in worrying about whatever I saw as my own flaws. There are a lot of girls who aren't mean or ignorant about other girls' weight problems.)
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