Hello out there,
everyday I cry for my son, that young not yet 8 year old suffers everyday, he has ADHA, ODD and Mood and anxiety disorder. I aften wonder if I'll make it through one of his days. The teachers look at me like I am at fault but research shows that its a chemical inbalance in the brain, yet I am a bad parent. I have been knocking on doors for years now, asking for help. I often feel like I am in a lake drowning, screaming for help, and help is there yet they just look and stare. So if I feel like that I wonder what exactly goes on in my sons brain. He looked at me the other day and told me with such certain that he'd like to die, I almost couldn't bare it but I held him and rocked him then we ate chocolate chip cookies and he smiled at me and told me he was glad I was his mother, talk about a mood swing. My life with himis like the cycle of abuse the best way to describe it, the honey moon its calm and everyone is ok, the build up, the tention is so thick it can be cut with a knife and the blow up where he literally smashes his head up against a wal just for an example.
I am getting invovled in groups and mental health to help him, yet the waiting lists are a year long if not longer. I only want one thing for him to be happy and live life to the best of his ability, and sometimes I wonder if I am doing right by him. I love him more than my own life and I want him healthy.
Mental health is still a very touchy subject for some, but now that I'm in it, I understand so much better and clearly, that it is real and it is hard and it take a person of strength to raise a child that has mental health issues, I write to unload my grief and maybe if I do so I can be a better person for it.
thank you who ever reads this, I will write again soon.
I'm sorry about your son. I also suffer from ADHD and mood disorders, but do not know what it would be like to have a child who has suffered like myself. Although, lately my daughter has been trying to diagnose herself with ADHD and bipolar AND SHES ONLY 12. I tell her it's just the hormones.
My daughter also has ADHD. Sometimes it can be a nightmare. I do feel for these kids. It seems like they are always in some kind of trouble. Take good care of yourself and take lots of breaks.Buy or borrow some therapeutic parenting books. Give him the opportunity to be himself as much as possible. These kids have a very hard time fitting in with school or anything else. My daughter gets really stressed trying to be calm in places.I tend to take her places and do things where she can be her wild little self. It's hard work for them to be like everyone else and gets very stressful for them and us.
I first took my son to a psychiatrist when he was 8 years old because whenever he was angry he would threaten to kill me when he grew up. The psychiatrist told me to get this book:
Taking Charge of ADHD by Russell A. Barkley, PhD - you can get info about it here:
http://www.russellbarkley.org/taking-ch … d-book.htm
it was very helpful! The most important thing I learned was - Keep a Disability perspective.
Don't give up.
There is help, but it takes a lot of consistency to really make things work and solve nutrient assimilation issues, imbalances, etc. Addressing these issues at younger ages usually brings complete or nearly complete recovery and wellness.
Here is a link you can investigate:
Additionally there are hubs about these subjects as well. I've written one on nutritional deficiencies and mental illness, as well as other related subjects.
ADHD's a chemical imbalance in the front area (sorry I don't remember the term) of the brain. I have the most severe ADHD any of my doctors have ever seen and I might be bi-polar. the nature of the disorder means that even if someone knows you have it and actually believes its real will still think you can "fight through it." but it doesn't really work like that. One minute I will be doing what I was supposed to and then suddenly I realize I've been playing with a ball point pen for more than 45 minutes. The worst part though is just that trying to work and constantly starting to do or think about something else every few minutes is just frustrating, it can take me three hours to fold a basket of laundry. At a certain point I give up trying and just wander from one interesting thing to the next. no matter how well someone understands ADHD if you are supposed to be working on something and they find you merrily playing away anyone is going to get angry maybe not the first few times but it will happen.
I think I know exactly what you mean about cycles.
There are some up sides to it, at least in my opinion. When I'm not on my meds I'll inevitably end up paying attention to whatever the most interesting thing in the room is. If I actually find whatever task I need to complete interesting, I'll become super worker unable to think about or really do much anything else until there is literally nothing more I can do. I can start something and finish 6 hours later never having left my spot. Over time I get better at encouraging this to happen though it still essentially requires being lucky.
I also think I'm more patient because of the ADHD. If I have to wait for something it only takes me about thirty seconds to be enthralled with how they grouted the tile in their waiting room.
Now that I have written all this I don't see that it will make you feel any better but it might help your son to know there are others like him. I don't have alot of your troubles but i know how some of them feel.
btw if his teachers think you are at fault I'll come and give them a pop in the jaw, that's just ignorant. If your son was diabetic that wouldn't be your fault either no matter how much it may inconvenience them.
I am also sorry to hear about your son . I have Add and also work in the mental health system. I think it is terrible that you have to wait that long for him to get an appointment. I am 38 and was diagnosed about 4 years ago. i know that t I have always had it.. I remember the teacher telling my parents that I was hyperactive in kindergarden and I went to a smaller school which definitley helped. There are times when I do get so frustrated I start to cry and think how can I lose my keys for the 3rd time this week. I laugh at times when people laugh at me about that but inside it breaks my heart. They do not understand. There are times I walk in the kitchen for one thing and walk out with something else. When I am extememly focused ,it is great. People joke about it but sometimes it can be pure torture. It is difficult at times too because I am a single mom so I am really trying to put structure into my sons life. I hope that things improve for you. there are a ton of resources and I hope you find the help you need.
Leeanne, I am so sorry you and your son are going though this. I know how hard it is, as I have been a single parent to two high-functioning autistic boys, both with mood disorders. It only makes it harder for you and your son when teachers and others assume that your son's behavior is due to your parenting. It is NOT your parenting!
My boys achieved great relief through medication. Both of them were miserable and talked about killing themselves, and they were only children. They both take a very small dose of a mood stabilizer and it has made a huge different for them. They are happy and healthy.
If you would like to talk more, send me an email.
Hang in there, and remember that it isn't your fault and you are doing everything you can to love and to help your son.
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