Pondering Perceptions

1. 61

   brenren57posted 13 years ago

   The first moment that you realize and accept that you have bipolar disorder is like stepping into a ditch that you didn't know was there. After the first shock of suddenly being somewhere you weren't a moment ago, the pain of the fall sets in. The blow to your pride takes your breath away. Indeed, it takes your very sense of self away.
   
   All of your life you have thought of yourself as "normal." Maybe there have been some unexplainable moments of outrageous behavior, but you've managed to fit in. Now you find out you're ... mentally ill? You remember all those times you felt the contempt of superiority and condescension, and you cringe with the knowledge that now it's your turn. People will look down on and pity YOU.
   
   Sooner or later you stop worrying about what others think. You have to decide what you think: about yourself, about your mental illness, about your self-worth, about your ability to contribute to the world around you in some significant way.
   
   People close to you will tell you that you�re still the same person you were before you knew. You had a mental illness then, you just didn�t know. You may accept this as being perfectly reasonable, until you realize that gradually their perceptions of you have changed. They no longer take the things you say at face value; they don�t quite trust you, although they�ll vehemently deny the charge.
   
   The fact is: you have changed. What once you accepted in blissful ignorance has now been proved to be untrue. What you are inside yourself has had to be re-examined and rearranged to fit reality. What you see mirrored in other people�s faces is not the person you used to see there. You are different, because now you know.

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2. 60

   katiem2posted 13 years ago

   What is important, matters and is very impressive is that you accept the truth about who you are and provide yourself with the best possible environment and tools to be the best you can be.
   
   Really that's the most significant and important thing any and all of us can do!
   
   Thanks for sharing, I will maintain the most positive thoughts and affirmations for you and all those who love you!
   
   Peace

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3. 85

   crazybeanriderposted 13 years ago

   You have expressed acceptance of bipolar in a most eloquent way. You are so right that we are not the same people we have always been. We are now someone with a mental illness. Whether we like it or not that is the fact we must accept. And find a way to deal with it on our own terms. I sometimes find it hard to accept I am bipolar because I want to be normal. But over time I have realized this is MY normal and I have to live with it. Period. Others are going to look at me different, and that I must get use to. It is like starting over, the people in your life have to relearn to trust you again. If they ever do.
   
   Anyway I find your post honest to bone.

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