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Stay, Quit, or Get Fired? What would you do?

  1. 0
    pgrundyposted 8 years ago

    As some of you who read my hubs know, I went to the hospital in an ambulance with heart attack symptoms Friday. I was at work. My tests came back clear finally, but they kept me there until Saturday evening just to make sure and wanted to keep me even longer to run a CAT scan (to check for stroke or tumors, blah, blah, blah) but I couldn't stand it anymore. I just said, no, I'm not made of money, let me outta here, I can get whatever other tests you think I need as an outpatient---if I really need them.

    Now I am faced with a problem. I really believe the stress at my job is a big part of my health issues. At the same time, my job is where I get my health insurance. I ran into this at the call center where I worked before I moved to Michigan and got this new call center job. At the old job, just before I left, I was getting horrible muscle spasms in my neck and back, and also sometimes in my left arm and hands. As soon as I left that job my blood pressure, which had been 200/110 went down to normal within a month. Now I am getting the same kinds of problems at this call center.

    I took the job because there was a good chance at the time I took it that I could get off the phones after putting in a year there, but then the subprime crisis hit and they let about half their employees go. Now I'm looking at years and years in a call center again with little hope for advancement. I know that that adds to my stress and anger--that trapped again feeling.

    For me, the paradox is that the stuff I have to do to get health insurance makes me sick. I'm not going in today because I have to follow up with my physician. But I have to make a decision about this. robie2, I know you vote "Bail!" I'm just scared though. I wonder if I should start smoking pot every morning before I go in? This might be a good compromise.

    1. Shirley Anderson profile image86
      Shirley Andersonposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      I just did a hub on work stress and understand how bad the symptoms can get, so when I read what you're going through, I'm very concerned about you.  You really need to implement some stress management or leave.  The toxic atmosphere and your thoughts combined are  serious dangers to your health.

      If you want a different job, go for it.  You can be applying and interviewing or upgrading, whatever you have to do to get what you want while you're still with your current employer.  That way, you have some security in place until you're ready to make your move, but are in control of your future and have something to look forward to and strive for. 

      You ALWAYS have a choice, you are never really trapped.  The only trap we humans really have is our perception of things.  If we believe we are helpless, we are.

      Good luck with everything, I hope you find your way.

      1. Misha profile image75
        Mishaposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Agree absolutely smile

      2. 0
        pgrundyposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Thanks Shirley. I read your hub on work stress--it's excellent. I think I've reached the burnout phase at the bank. I have an interview tomorrow for a paper shuffling job at a mortgage company--I was shocked at how quickly they responded to my resume. I also sent a few others out--one to a pet shop as a dog trainer!

        I think the hardest thing is realizing it's time to take action and then actually doing it.

        Now if I can just get them to fire me for $50K....

        big_smile

        1. Shirley Anderson profile image86
          Shirley Andersonposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          lol....ah yes, find out how Misha did it!

          I'm happy for you, and I have a good feeling about your interview.  Let us know how it goes, okay?  smile

    2. Constant Walker profile image59
      Constant Walkerposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Find a new job, then quit.

  2. Misha profile image75
    Mishaposted 8 years ago

    I picked "get fired" when I was faced with a similar choice smile

    1. Shirley Anderson profile image86
      Shirley Andersonposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      I quit....couldn't bear the idea of getting fired.

      1. Misha profile image75
        Mishaposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Well, I got extra $50000 of severance benefit this way big_smile

        1. Shirley Anderson profile image86
          Shirley Andersonposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Cripes!  I woulda quit too if that would've been my prize.

          Well done, Misha!

  3. 0
    pgrundyposted 8 years ago

    Thanks! I will!

  4. robie2 profile image92
    robie2posted 8 years ago

    pg,

    whatever you do I'm pulling for you, but you have really got to get out of that call center pronto. Stress really can kill you--at the very least your job stress is clearly killing your soul. Screw the health insurance,just get out-- that's what I say.

    I know you need health insurance and the $$$ of a day job, and all this is easy for me to say. I'm not walking in your shoes. But really, this hospitalization is a wake  up call for you and also an opportunity for real change. I say take it.  With your skills you will get another day job I know--even in this economy. I hope the mortgage company works out. It sounds like a good fit. But whatever, if it were me I would be slinging hash and using a charity clinic before I would stay one more day at a job like yours. Then there is the fact that your writing is superb --you are doing well as a free-lancer in a very short period of time. You are going to be able to earn big$$$ as a writer, I just know it and I bet other hubbers agree--but not while you are sitting in that  call center.

    Whew-- well there I am being pushy and opinionated--but it is only because I like and respect you so I hope you don't mind..... get yourself fired, quit, or whatever--but get out of there ASAP. Much better things are waiting for you on the other side of your fear


    R.

    1. VioletSun profile image70
      VioletSunposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Pam: I vote get out! Kiss the job and stress goodbye, before it damages your health permanently.  One way, I make decisions is to allow my mind and heart to agree, and this is when  I find the courage to make changes. It seem your heart wants out, but your mind is in panic at the thought of leaving and its understandable. You will find something that is more in alingnment with who you are as you are capable; you and your well being are worth it! 

      I will send pray and send you good energy.

    2. VioletSun profile image70
      VioletSunposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Whew-- well there I am being pushy and opinionated--but it is only because I like and respect you so I hope you don't mind..... get yourself fired, quit, or whatever--but get out of there ASAP. Much better things are waiting for you on the other side of your fear >>>

      LOL! I worry about being pushy even with loved ones, but I also like and respect Pam, and I am glad you are encouraging her loudly to get out ASAP! smile

  5. Catherine Behan profile image36
    Catherine Behanposted 8 years ago

    HI Pgrundy,

    My heart goes out to you with the others.  I also have been impacted deeply by the whole health care/health insurance puzzle.  I know that through it all, I became more and more in touch with my Inner Wisdom.  Little did I know that my passion and energy was all tied down and crippled by my past experiences and relationships.

    There are so many energy therapies right now, a lot of them are self administered and very helpful.  My favorite is EFT and I have written several hubs about my experience.  I don't know what step is your best one, but I do know for sure that the answers are within your intuition, just like they were in mine, just out of reach!  The pain you are going through right now...both physically, mentally and emotionally will give you the motivation to do what you need to do to find Happiness.

    And couldn't we all use a little more of that!

    Bless you!
    Catherine
    Raise Your Vibration For Free With EFT
    http://www.downstreamuniversity.com

  6. Shirley Anderson profile image86
    Shirley Andersonposted 8 years ago

    Robie and Catherine, you both give such wonderful advice.

    Hope you don't mind Catherine, but I'm going to check out your link as well.

  7. Marisa Wright profile image93
    Marisa Wrightposted 8 years ago

    I say quit, then find a new job - because once you're not working, you have more time to send out resumes and actively chase work.  I've always found the best way to get work is to fire off resumes to as many jobs as I can, even if I think I'm only borderline qualified.  Twice I've landed great jobs which I really didn't think I had a hope of being considered for!   But when you're working, you don't have time to search thoroughly.

    1. VioletSun profile image70
      VioletSunposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Good advice! My nephew who is a school teacher, was in Thailand and wanted to come back to the USA with his Thai fiancee, so he had me send out 300 resumes to all the Catholic schools in New York (the postal system in Thai is not very good, so I did the favor for him last Summer), and he landed a teaching position,  with a 30 minute interview by phone with the school's principal.

  8. marisuewrites profile image60
    marisuewritesposted 8 years ago

    Put yourself first.  You deserve peace and a less stressful life.  Don't be stressed, but do it NOW.

  9. RFox profile image81
    RFoxposted 8 years ago

    For pgrundy:
    Your situation truly sux and I feel for you all across the border.

    In order to be properly diagnosed with the genetic disorder that I have it took decades and almost every obscure test around. They  had to rule out so many other illnesses. On top of that I have a major soy allergy that has hospitalized me in the past on a couple of occasions.

    Lucky for me I was born in Australia and now live in Canada. Two countries that believe health care is a basic right and should be free for everyone!

    I can't imagine the debt I would be in if I was in the States. It would be catastrophic! sad

    So I can understand the fear about leaving a job that pays benefits, however, to be blunt.....if you die from stress you are dead and gone. There are no do-overs.
    Money is just money and there are many ways around debt and debt management.

    A radical change for your life is in order! Your ER stay was your universal wake up call pgrundy.
    It is scary to radically change ones life but if it's a choice between a radical change and the end of ones life...well...that's not much of a decision. Your body is yelling at you right now to slow down. You should listen.

    If I were in your shoes I would sell everything I can....including my house (if I owned one). Downsize and simplify. Ruthlessly cut all expenses and look to make your life as simple financially as you can. Your health is the most important thing in your life! Nothing else matters.

    The reality is right now you should be resting! Not working or looking for work.....but resting. (In quiet contemplation sometimes the creative answers to our problems can be found.) smile

    Also, ask the people in your life who love and care about you for help in this. One of the most difficult things it seems to do nowadays is ask for help. I struggled with this for years, as many do. But most people genuinely enjoy helping (especially loved ones) in a crisis. For your family and friends having you in their life is more important than anything else. Lean on them for support and sometimes surprising things can happen. smile

    Above all....please take care of yourself and remember that life can change so quickly if you choose to change it. smile

  10. RFox profile image81
    RFoxposted 8 years ago

    Also, if you have the legal ability to move across the border to Canada and gain permanent residency you should do it. Imagine never having to worry about paying for your health care ever again! big_smile

    It's really not that hard to immigrate here if you have a university education. Look at all your options for life improvement (even the wild and crazy ones cause sometimes they can become a reality.)

    wink

    1. VioletSun profile image70
      VioletSunposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      That is fantastic, to have free insurance! Wonder why we don't have this in the USA, just thinking out loud........

      1. RFox profile image81
        RFoxposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        It's crazy that you don't have access to free health care. A healthy society is a productive society. I do believe that the US is the only developed nation that doesn't have free health care for it's citizens.

        With all the influential people down there, why is this so?

        smile

  11. Shirley Anderson profile image86
    Shirley Andersonposted 8 years ago

    I'm going to be checking this thread off and on all day....can't wait to hear whether or not she gets the job!  I'm bettin' she does.

  12. 0
    pgrundyposted 8 years ago

    Thanks for all your great and concerned responses! I had a good interview at the mortgage company today. They will decide by late this week or early next. I felt like I did well, but this is Michigan, lots of folks need work, so we'll see how it goes.

    Amazingly, I have another interview tomorrow morning for a book & magazine distributor, merchandising 15-20 hours a week at three stores. I did this exaxct job when I was in my 30s for seven years and liked it, so that might work out ok too.

    We absolutely should have free health care in the US. We  are the only industrialized nation that doesn't Canada is constantly held up to us as a scary example of socialized medicine--but as near as I can tell medicine in Canada is a little better than here if anything, in some ways a lot better! We spend more on our crappy care that excludes half of all Americans than Canada does to provide free care for the entire country. It's nuts.

    I absolutely am not going back, unless its to pick up my stuff. I just can't do it.

    1. robie2 profile image92
      robie2posted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Yipppeeeee! not going back to the bank < I'm jumping up and down with joy> Good for you pg. I am soooooo pleased and I just know you are going to be fine. Great new job comin along--I can feel it smile

      As for our broken healthcare system-- it 's simple-- in America healthcare is a business and people are profit centers, not  people. It's all about the bottom line not about good health. As long as the insurance companies and big Pharma control it we are screwed.

  13. Shirley Anderson profile image86
    Shirley Andersonposted 8 years ago

    Congratulations of a good decision and a good interview!

    Good luck in tomorrow's interview.

    Wow, things sure happened fast once you decided to take action!  You'll have a new job within a week!

    You go, girl!

    1. VioletSun profile image70
      VioletSunposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      I add my congratulations to Shirley's and am looking forward to reading you landed a job that you will enjoy! smile

  14. Shirley Anderson profile image86
    Shirley Andersonposted 8 years ago

    I got all caught up in your interview and forgot to ask....

    ....are you feeling any better?  Lighter?  More hopeful?

    1. 0
      pgrundyposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks for asking Shirley!

      I am feeling calmer and more hopeful. I will feel even better when I know I have another job and tell 1) my old bank job and 2) my family.

      The follow up doctor's appointment was truly awful. The doctor seemed unconcerned with my ideas about what might be wrong and completely disinterested in my hospital stay or my health history. He felt my neck and back (a few too many times if you ask me), told me he loves the movie "Office Space", then wrote me a prescription for Klonopin, which it turns out is a powerful muscle relaxant and sedative and the #1 most abused drug in the US. (The pharmacist clued me in on all that, plus I researched it when I got home.) He characterized the drug as harmless, mild, and non-addictive--something that will help me not to get stressed at the bank job. I took one when I got home and passed out on the floor while playing with the dog---not passed out as in fainted, just, you know, conked out--the pills are that strong. Also I'm not supposed to drive on them. So I wonder how this helps me at the bank? What an idiot.

      I know you may think this is extreme, but I consider myself on my own when it comes to my health. Doctors in this system are not only horrendously expensive and ineffective, lots of them are just idiots. You know the nerds who couldn't get a date in high school and inspected their own boogers in public? They became doctors, all of them.

      I mean true, I'm certainly not 1) having a heart attack or 2) stressed out when I'm 3) unconscious on our living room floor, but is this really helpful to me? It is not. Its about what I expected though. I am already on a weight loss/exercise program of my own making, and off to buy supplements recommended here as soon as I get paid.

      Another interview this morning though. Wheeeee! I hope I get this one. big_smile

  15. RFox profile image81
    RFoxposted 8 years ago

    Great to hear things are happening so fast and great decision to quit your other job! big_smile
    My fingers and toes are crossed for you.

  16. wannabwestern profile image90
    wannabwesternposted 8 years ago

    PGrundy,

    Wow! Our family is thinking about a job change too and it IS scary. You have a lot of fans and support on HP, and hopefully a few close friends to help you weather the storm? I'm CHEERING for you! And I know how much medical bills can bring you down. We have self-paid two pregnancies in the last three years. Ridiculous, ridiculous. But, life is good. Yours will be too...You are a remarkably talented writer. Hope you get the job of your dreams!

    1. 0
      pgrundyposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Thank you for the compliment! It's crazy that you had to pay for two pregnancies on your own. It makes me mad that this country is in the state it is in. It makes me want to do something about it, but I don't know what. I write to my congresspeople, but sometimes I think they don't even care what we think. They're supposed to care, but where's our health insurance if they care? It isn't even on the horizon. Hang in there! smile

  17. Shirley Anderson profile image86
    Shirley Andersonposted 8 years ago

    How did this morning's interview go?

    Curious here!

    1. 0
      pgrundyposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Shirley, thanks for asking! I was offered the merchandising job and was very happy and excited. When my partner got home last night I told him about it, and he completely freaked out. We had a huge fight. The job has no health insurance with it. I was all set to take the job--I was a merchandiser for 7 years when my kids were small. I set my own schedule, moved around a lot, met lots of nice people, and it couldn't be more low stress---I take down the old magazines, put up the new ones, go home, in as many accounts as I want to do it for. This job starts with two good sized accounts, but new ones come open all the time, so pretty much you can work as little or as much as you want.

      So today I am dragging my miserable ass into the bank. Maybe I will get lucky and they will fire me. My partner and I have very different perspectives on health insurance. I feel like its worthless, he's terrified I'll drop dead if I don't have it. That's it in a nutshell.

      God I'm tired. sad

      1. Bonnie Ramsey profile image89
        Bonnie Ramseyposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Pg,

        I hope you don't mind me saying so but it sounds like your partner should be more worried about your health than your finances at this point. There comes a time in your life that, regardless of a friend or loved ones' opinion, you MUST do what makes YOU happy and what is best for YOUR health! I have been through this exact thing before. The difference is that hubby told me "Screw the job! It isn't worth losing you over!" He then had to cover years of medical bills from my health problems. We made it through and he has fully supported me through starting my own home business and the process that has taken us through.

        It is most important that you take care of your health and let him deal with it as he must. Just my opinion! I wish you all the best!

        Bonnie

  18. Misha profile image75
    Mishaposted 8 years ago

    I second Bonnie. smile

    1. RFox profile image81
      RFoxposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      I third Bonnie.

      I would also like to say that if your partner is so worried about health insurance then he should find a job that provides it for you both.
      Your job is obviously detrimental to your health and you need to move on. Period.

      I hope this doesn't upset you. I'm only worried about your well being. This other job sounds fantastic for you! smile

      1. Shirley Anderson profile image86
        Shirley Andersonposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        I fourth what Bonnie said and second what RFox said.

  19. VioletSun profile image70
    VioletSunposted 8 years ago

    This is difficult, if you had taken the job that you liked you would have had stress at home, and right now, you need peace. Your partner is simply concerned for you and means well as in his mind he probably feels having health insurance is protecting you, but staying in your job is not  the best choice for your health. If you are 55, don't you qualify for early retirement with health insurance? With the bank I worked,  we do. I am asking for my pension when I turn 55.   Perhaps being semi-retired and supplementing your income through your writing may be a solution for you?. Don't know your exact situation, so I may not be making practical suggestions, but I wish you the best of both worlds, nice income, no stress and good health insurance.   smile

    1. 0
      pgrundyposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      That is an intriguing idea! I never thought of that. The bank I work for doesn't offer pensions anymore--hasn't for several years. But I do have a small pension from the insurance company I worked for before the bank. I'm going to look over how early I can draw on that and whether that would qualify me for insurance of any kind. That's at least worth looking into.

      I think my partner is worried about my health and having no way to take care of it. He is an articulate kind person, but he's Italian. His whole family is like this. Something happens and they all start talking very loudly all at once, over each other, and the loudest one gets heard. Right now they are all full of opinions about it, including him, and it's making me nuts, but I know its because they care and are worried, not because they care about how much money I make. Bill wouldn't care if I worked at MacDonald's, he just doesn't want me to keel over and be refused treatment. There's a hospital here that has to treat you up to a point--that point is the point you can be shoved out the door--but specialists won't see you unless you have insurance coverage and put cash up front. I don't know if you realize this, but it is legal to refuse care here based on inability to pay.

      I appreciate all your concern very much--I will be out of that bank within the week, just you watch. And I'll have insurance. And I'll be sure to leave a big stinky fart on my way out. big_smile

      1. VioletSun profile image70
        VioletSunposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        That is an intriguing idea! I never thought of that. The bank I work for doesn't offer pensions anymore--hasn't for several years. >>>

        All banks have the same rules, I think... I havent' been in banking for 7 years, so I am out of touch, but I do know that after 5 years of service every bank employee gets vested, so you will get something out of your early retirement with your bank. If not, then that's awful!  I was forced into a very early retirement at 46, and I have my Early Retirement Survivors Benefits, but in my case it's different as I was approved for  this because I have a hearing problem and it was during the aftermath of the 9/11 situation in NY, which meant there were NO jobs at the time, and much less for someone with a hearing problem. I even agreed to be interviewed by the New York Times where I was profiled as hearing impaired woman with a good work experience looking for work, and out of the milliions that read about me, I received by email only 2 jobs offers that were not for me, some comments thanking me for being honest,  and two date proposals. LOL!   I was surprised I was approved as I worked non stop for 28 years and used to manage 3 small depts , but I got lucky. Point being, there can be other options for you. I certainly never thought I would use this, but I am grateful I have my good health insurance, plus my benefits, and I earn income with my business to supplement the decrease in yearly income.   

        <<< I appreciate all your concern very much--I will be out of that bank within the week, just you watch. And I'll have insurance. And I'll be sure to leave a big stinky fart on my way out. big_smile

        I can see how much you "love" where you work. LOL!!!  lol

  20. Fadzo Chanakira profile image60
    Fadzo Chanakiraposted 8 years ago

    Hi,

    I truly empathize with this situation because my mom was in a similar predicament...but with cancer.  She chose to quit, and I can't tell you how much better she is.  The cancer is in remission and she does not need to rely on her health insurance as much.  Things have a way of working out.  Now that my mother is retired...she realizes that her job was making her sick.  Joy is great health insurance... as are healthy lifestyle choices.  I wish you all the best of support, opportunities, love and wisdom as you navigate your way to the choice that works best for you.

    1. VioletSun profile image70
      VioletSunposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Wonderful reply! I would love to read your hubs so have become a fan, so when you publish one, I will read.

    2. 0
      pgrundyposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      What a beautiful answer! Thank you for sharing that. You have another fan.smile

  21. seohowto profile image61
    seohowtoposted 8 years ago

    I would quit. No questions about this. I know it is easy to say and much more difficult to do, but I would personally feel very bad by being fired. I was a very good student (school, college etc), I was an excellent executive assistant, and a successful entrepreneur later.  And it would be very painful for me to get fired. I am sure that you are doing your job very well and I think for you getting fired will be extremely stressful. Just quit and you will be remembered as a good worker, you will feel good about yourself, which is a lot more than getting extra money while you are fired. It will be YOUR decision, not like someone else decides that you are no longer in need. These are my 2 cents and I know that some people may think in different way, which is absolutely fine.

  22. Shirley Anderson profile image86
    Shirley Andersonposted 8 years ago

    So???  What happened?? 

    Did you take the merchandising job?

 
working