How do you deal with your anger? Do you retaliate? Do you supress it? Do you take it out on others? Please tell us?
I am a volatile person of French descent. The anger comes quickly and disappears just as fast. I forgive and forget within minutes.
My personality is to speak my mind, but I try to be assertive not aggressive. If someone is completely out of line I tell them off and it works well for me so far.
What about you? Recently I've had very angry feelings from stress. I told my doctor and he doesn't care or do anything.
Here's a few tips I just thought of:
If you are drinking cofee or alot of caffeine- Stop! Caffeine can irritate it.
Exercise helps get rid of it.
Any other ideas?
Maybe this hub can help?
Btw- did you receive my email response?
Step back and look at the situation without any emotions. Evaluate and be honest as to what had transpired. Find a resolution. Approach the person and discuss it without emotion.
If that person doesn't listen, then explode!!!
There are two kinds of anger for me: The quick flair up of temper that comes from something stupid like someone being on my back in the grocery story, and the serious, "legitimate-reason", long-term anger over something someone intentionally did.
I won't let a temper flair up happen because that one's like a flame. If you let it "have oxygen" it will get bigger and bigger. So, with the rare "stupid" temper flair up I'll tell myself "stop" the very fraction of a second I know it's starting to come on. It's easier to snuff out a small flame than to control a raging fire; so this approach means not really "suppressing" a whole lot of anger, because I stop it from turning into a whole lot of anger before that flame gets to grow.
The deeper, longer-term, serious, anger is something I'll either try to make good use of (by turning something into a cause, or that type of thing); or else (since it is serious and legitimate and done by someone who knew what they were doing and did it anyway), seek legal revenge in a very civil way (that's why they call it "civil lawsuit").
My defense of this approach is that when we are angry about something for legitimate reasons sometimes one way to ease that anger is to get justice. Some anger exists because there has been no justice, which means that seeking and getting justice (or some kind of resolution associated with whoever did the thing) will end the anger (without risking going to jail over doing something illegal). Besides, even if this isn't particularly healthy, I'd rather die young, knowing I didn't accept what was wrong; than live a longer life, making lemonade out of the lemons some conscientiousless coward(s) threw into my life.
So, I'd say I nip temper flair ups in the bud, and "address" larger, deeper, anger in a way that makes me feel as if I'm doing something constructive with it. (Sometimes what some people may believe looks like "suppressing" anger is something entirely different.) (Angry face here: )
by jasper4205 years ago
to control your anger...control your fear...haven't watched any star wars, have you.
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What do you do when you are angry with someone?
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