Anger is an energy that can be converted into positivity. When you feel angry - stop, take stock and find a way to make that positive and constructive rather than destructive.
Don't think about the bad things he/she did. Think about the good times.
if i am angry at someone, i just get away from them until i calm down and am no longer angry. people say and do things that they regret later when they are angry, and i don't like that feeling!
One hopes to learn the art of separating the person from their deed.
What if you're angry with someone outside of your family like a professional who should be doing their job 'professionally' but is constantly showing their ineptitude and incompetency?
I experienced this in my previous work. A lot of us got mad with the manager because she was so unfair and abusive. We couldn't take the stress anymore because we couldn't even report to the upper management because everything goes through the manager. 7 of us resigned in one month.
So yes, I have no concrete answer for this one. Just sharing my experience of how terrible it is to have an incompetent coworker.
When you feel that rise of emotion, this is an indication that you are losing control. When you feel this - Stop. Say something like 'I will get back to you, I am unable to speak with you at the moment but we will talk about this'. Take some time out to think through the whole thing. What is it that has really annoyed you? It might just be something small that has niggled you for a long time - none the less, the issue needs resolve. Write bullet points - a self anaylisis perhaps? Then you can order your argument in a constructive way,
It might take a few 'time outs' before you will resolve the issues, but resolve will come without destructive confrontation. You also need to be able to forgive and move on - this is an important aspect.
This (shaz's suggestion) is a process that helped me hugely during my daughter's teenage years. I would feel so angry that I knew a communication at that time would be destructive, and so I would tell her "We really need to talk about this, but not right now. Let's get together in 10-15 minutes and talk."
In the intervening time, I would do some of this suggested analysis - but with this added: I would try to imagine a situation that might have led my daughter to act as she did. Even though my imaginary situation was not necessarily correct, it did help me to see that her behavior wasn't absolutely ridiculous and out-of-line. There may even have been things that I had done or assumed - or assumed that she knew, although she didn't - that had contributed to the problem. It became more of a teachable moment for both of us, through that kind of analysis.
I know this doesn't work in every situation, but sometimes it helps.
What do I do when I'm angry with someone? Well, it takes an awful lot to make me angry to begin with. How I react mostly depends on what I'm angry about. First off, I let them know, in no uncertain terms that I'm angry. Sometimes I vent, sometimes I write poetry, and I've even been known to have an occasional tantrum or two. What I don't do is swallow my anger and bury it deep down inside. For years I internalized my emotions which resulted in a host of self-destructive behaviors. So, now I give my emotions a voice. It's much healthier to express an honest angry feeling than to try to stifle it.
As for professionals, well I'm the boss of my own company, so if somebody isn't giving 100% I don't bother to get angry, I just let them go. If it's someone else such as an accountant or lawyer who isn't working in my best interest, I let them go too and find someone else who will.
It's only my friends and family I care enough about to get angry.
When I get angry I start pacing back and forth.I get very irritated and no one is safe, happened a little yesterday. But that probably happens 3-6 times a year.
when I get angry, I just start following my mind and donot listen to anyone else. But We all should control our anger.
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by jasper4205 years ago
to control your anger...control your fear...haven't watched any star wars, have you.
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