finally starting to see the effects...

  1. 61
    JessH18posted 5 years ago

    I've suffered from bulimia for over 9 years now... and I'm only 20 years old.  I've had to have a lot of dental work done... but I'm only now starting to see the horrible effects it's having on my mouth and on my teeth. My teeth are becoming horribly discoloured, it hurts to brush, it burns soo bad when I use any mouthwash, I can't eat anything hot, cold, crunchy, spicy.... it's horrible. But most of all, I have many many cavities and it's very painful. I get very frequent HORRIBLE tooth aches and infections. Sometimes I'm out of commission for days.. I need to get antibiotics and I'm on STRONG pain meds because I can't function without them.
    It hasn't only affected my mouth though... my heart rate is insanely low all the time.. and my blood pressure is very low. My digestive track is all messed up. I now have severe IBS so I can't eat my FAVOURITE FOODS such as raw veggies, many fruits, absolutely nothing fried, etc. Plus, I have to take digestive aids every single day in order for my body to be able to digest ANY foods. I hate it. sad It's like living in hell. 
    I'm physically weak all the time, tired all the time, my hand is all swelled and the skin is dried and cracked from purging.
    Worst of all... I'm supposed to be a role model for the kids at the youth group I volunteer at... and I'm supposed to be leading the way for my 4 year old niece. If she knew what went on in a day in my life, she would be crushed... and I DON'T want her following down this path of destruction. I don't want her to have a negative body image or look in the mirror and think she looks fat, disgusting, horrible, ugly, unlovable, unworthy, etc. I want her to see the beautiful person she really is... I need to smarten up and start being the role model people are expecting me to be... and that I want to be!!
    One of these days maybe I'll want to get better for me.. but for now, I need to do it for them! I hate living in this hell.... everyday is such a struggle just to wake up, let alone actually getting through the day... sad
    Sorry for the vent... but I know that if anyone will understand, you guys will understand.
    Thank you for listening. ♥

  2. Shahid Bukhari profile image61
    Shahid Bukhariposted 5 years ago

    Please accept my sincere good wishes, I hope and pray for you early recovery