Guilt:Cope with Guilt or it will destroy you!Learn how to manage it here.

 

Guilt is the most destructive human emotion. It is found only in man. It is basically anger against yourself for perceiving yourself as a bad person for having done something bad. All of us suffer from guilt to various degrees. When guilt is essential to control our wild and primitive urges for the survival of the society and species- It is healthy guilt. But, when guilt starts destroying us from inside, then it is very harmful neurotic guilt. Guilt develops through Parents, teachers, priests and society.

For example: "If you talk back you are a bad person".

" You have brought shame on our honour".

Sex and religion are the most widely prevelant guilt makers.

Influence of guilt: Guilty person feels inferior, underconfident and insecure. Therefore, either he develops some stress- related disease

or

he becomes a workaholic tries to be perfectionist

How to handle guilt positively? :

  • Accept your imperfections and your human "Grey" nature.
  • Understand that actions can be good or bad. We are always good.
  • Express your guilt to someone, because hidden and supressed guilt is the most destructive guilt.
  • Unburden your "crime" on your best friend and then advise him how really insignificant that blunder is.
  • It's very important to accept mistakes and take corrective actions. But it's not right to just keep on feeling guilty for that mistake and not do anything concrete.
  • Feeling guilty does not mean that we are "caring human beings". Striving for improvement is correct but feeling guilty for imperfections is wrong.

It's good to learn from your mistakes of the past but don't put youself into a cage of guilt. GUILT < - - - - - - - - - - - > LOW SELF- ESTEEM

Feeling guilty makes the situation even worse and more worse.

  • Regret is O. K. But take a corrective action and then don't feel guilty.
  • Dont look for "approval" from others. Make your own realistic standards of behaviour.
  • God made you imperfect and , therefore forgives you for making imperfect decisions. If he can forgive you, then why can't you forgive yourself for your imperfections.
  • Therefore, make your own realistic moral codes. Stick to them. Only you are the judge of your own actions. Don't judge yourself by the standards set by others.

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Comments 7 comments

yogesh 4 years ago

i have hurt my gf by saying that she is not pretty enough for me i did this after we broke up .. she thought thats the reason for our breakup ..but i had bigger problems leading to breakup because our parents didnt agree and we were world apart,, and i mistook her friendship for love amd later realized ...pretty thing was one part .. i felt so guilty because i really cared for her but one stupid decision made me say this .. i thought she would hate me for this and move on .. but i only felt guilty which destroyed me ... i apologized for months finally she talked to me and after 2 months she was able to talk to me normally and said not to worry about past .. god bless her .. but i didnt want to continue to b friends because of the past but she asked that we shall be friends.. but i wasnt able to do that .. but after that i started feeling bad again because i didnt agree her request .. now i started to talk again as friends because of my conscience ..friendship is not the same now just staying in touch because of my guilt .. i cannot apologize to her because she would hate that and she wants me to study well and make up for the time i lost and get a good carrier .. she is doing good with a nice carrier and friends .. but my guilt is controlling me all the time .. what else can i do for this ???

ive apologised and she forgive me and she wants me to have a good life .. what should i do for myself to forgive me ???


kaylanoelle 4 years ago

I keep missing the bus because there is something wrong with me that I dont respond to alarm clocks and my mom refuses to wake me up for school saying that any normal16 year old could do it by herself and I feel like such a failure also because I got sick and missed school and they go really mad at me and I dont want to get kicked out because my family would never forgive me. its not enough that im not a good student now I have to miss school to. It says to take corrective action but I dont know how I have tried everything even putting the whole clock on my pillow and I still slept through it. I know moving in with my dad he would get me up but my mom needs child support and that would add to the guilt


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Cleanclover 5 years ago from Piece of land! Author

Forget she is your mother. If she were a stranger in need of your help, would you help her then?


Not a good daughter 5 years ago

My mother is sick with Cancer. We have never really had a close relationship. I feel guilty because I really don't want to help her. I don't want to take her to her doctor appoitments nor do I want to visit her. I know I'm a bad daughter because I feel guilty because I don't want to assit her.


SuperPennie 5 years ago

Guilt is something that constantly slows us down. It breaks us down and destroys the pieces. But maybe it also keeps us in check sometimes? Maybe, by judging ourselves to be bad and feeling guilty, we learn not to do those things and avoid the guilt. Of course, this is a technique used by Christianity to control people... but maybe it is also used by us to control ourselves... is that a good thing or a bad thing though?

I like the tips here =] We do all need to become more comfortable with ourselves and understand what it is to be human.


kayla 6 years ago

i just recently got a job at a day care center and today i saw silly bandz in a kids cubbie. Nobody was there so i decided to take some of them. I always thought they were a stupid idea but since everyone is wearing them now i thought it would make me more popular. About an hour later she saw me playing with the silly bandz and she freaked. She then told the assistant manager and i was called down to her office. I told her that they were mine and she believed me, but the girl kept crying for the rest of the day and i felt more and more guilty every second. When i got home, i went up to my room and cryed my ass off. I finally came down and typed up ways to handle guilt, the thing is i literally can't confess to anyone, but i do feel a little better about it cause i know i am only human and God didn.t make me perfect.


Cleanclover profile image

Cleanclover 8 years ago from Piece of land! Author

Thank you winston. I'll take a look at it.

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