how to handle arrogant and hard headed people

Just yesterday I found myself arguing with someone who I know is as arrogant and hard headed as they come. I knew this before hand, and I still allowed myself to go through with the argument.

Why? I would like to say it was half stupidity and half something else. But the more I analyze the situation, the more I convince myself that it was 100% stupidity.

I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't let this happen again. So I made a list to help me deal with arrogant people next time i find myself in a situation such as yesterday's.

Listen, listen, listen
If you know with certainty that the person you are dealing with is arrogant and hard headed, why waste precious energy trying to reason with them? If history has taught you anything about this person, you will likely come to the conclusion that reason goes through them like water in a sieve.

Let them make a fool of themselves
Most arrogant and hard headed people talk, not because they have something to say; they talk because they have to say something. If your argument is taking place in front of others (as mine did) let the arrogant person talk. The others will soon see the wisdom of your silence.

Don't let their mistake become yours
These hard headed and arrogant people clearly have issues that none of us should pretend to fix (unless you are a psychologist or a psychiatrist). Their fuel is your anger. The more angry they make you, the more they have succeded. So, don't give them that satisfaction. Don't let them suck you in their flawed ways. An argument cannot exist if there's only one person. Let them have their monologue, and once they're done say "thank you" and leave or change the conversation if there are more people around.

Don't show an angry or sad face.
Control yourself and try your best to display a neutral, or even happy expression. (As I found out yesterday, this is something that requires a lot more practice than I thought.)

Try to find the good things in what they are saying.
A wise person learns even from those who seem to have nothing to contribute. So don't be arrogant and learn something from the situation, even if it is just how not to behave.

Leave the room with a smile.
Do not let arrogants ruin your day. Don't take their problem home. Leave their problem in their hands and go home to keep learning more about love and life. As they say: "Live and learn".

After much thought, reflection, and self-reproach, I came to the conclusion that the hard headed acquantaince does not deserve to take my happiness away. I made my decision to keep it, and let him find one of his own.

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Comments 2 comments

christian 2 years ago

My sister is like that, so freaking ignorant and cold hearted when it comes to arguing. She thinks she is so big and bad


Jessica 2 years ago

Yeah my husband to sometimes i give up and the only solucion is staying quiet theres no hope with hard headed people.This site really helped.

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