Living With ADD or ADHD

Having a relationship with another person can be difficult at times, but when your partner has ADD or ADHD, it can make living with ADD or ADHD in a relationship even more so (unfortunately). When one partner seems to forget things, events or gets distracted, we naturally jump to the conclusion that they don't care, don't take their responsibilities seriously or are just plain selfish. This is especially so if the partner is constantly defending his/her position and explaining these things away. We feel hurt, disrespected and even frustrated and angry. However, very few of us think that there may be something else that is causing these behavior patterns. It could be ADD or ADHD. Finding out the cause of the behavior very often can lead to a mending of the relationship issues.

Very often, during the course of everyday living, we are too busy to think that behaviors can be caused not only by external factors but also internal ones. Many relationships can be saved and made happier with the correct diagnosis and treatment. One of the challenges that we have to acknowledge is that the person with ADD/ADHD may not be willing to accept that fact. It is crucial that he/she is on board with this fact and is committed to trying various treatments. This is because, unfortunately with ADD/ADHD, I found in my experience, that one size (in terms of treatment) does not fit all.

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You can find a very illuminating article about the symptoms of someone with ADD or ADHD from the NY Times that was published a little while ago. For me, it was an 'aha' moment as well as a relief to know that all the symptoms could be the consequence of ADD.

You can find a very interesting article from The New York Times "Attention Disorders Can Take a Toll on Marriage" at http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/07/19/attention-disorders-can-take-a-toll-on-marriage (The New York Times permalink)

Behavior that is seen as laziness, being stubborn, distracted, disrespectful might be the symptoms of ADD/ADHD. Seeing a therapist or psychologist who has knowledge of this is extremely crucial. Many marriages can be saved when a proper reason is discovered for behaviors that are sabotaging a marriage or relationship. Living with ADD or ADHD might not be as difficult when we know the cause and can find ways and means to cope with it. However, with almost all things in life, the person who has ADD/ADHD must first acknowledge that he or she might have it and be willing to see a professional to have this properly looked at and diagnosed. Without the acknowledgement and acceptance, no progress can be made.

In many cases, during treatment or management protocols, discouragement and frustration sets in. There could be a variety of reasons for this. Side effects of medications, dietary restrictions or even just the time it takes to see an improvement. Support is very important during this time as it can be stressful for all parties concerned. This is especially so if there are children involved or there is another crisis going on at this time. Patience and perseverance are very important for all concerned.

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Did you know that sleep disorders such as Sleep Apnea can cause symptoms that are similar to ADD/ADHD? Read more here Webmd - add/adhd guide

There are sleep clinics that will determine if you have sleep apnea. It usually requires the person to sleep overnight at the facility and they breathing patterns are monitored during this time. With modern technology, there are even compact machines that you can take home. You would have to breathe through an apparatus while you sleep and the machine records your breathing, etc. I have found that this gives an accurate enough reading for them to make a recommendation of which machine one needs. These are called CPAP (Continuous positive airway pressure) machines.

CPAP machine helps anyone who has sleep apnea or obstructive sleep apnea to breathe more easily during sleep. What the machine does is increase air pressure in our throat when we breathe in, so that our airway doesn't collapse.

So, do check out if sleep apnea (snoring) could be the cause of the forgetfulness and distractions before deciding it is indeed ADD/ADHD.

Another interesting and informative article on how sleep disorders and adhd are often entwined. Read it here CNN Health

OSA or Obstructive Sleep Apnea also causes symptoms that are very similar to ADHD. Although it is usually characterized by a child/adult having big tonsil or adenoids, it is also caused by the collapse of the upper airway during sleep.

Since breathing is erratic during sleep, there is a increase in carbon dioxide and a decrease in oxygen in the body. This fluctuation causes erratic sleep patterns. Continued disturbances in sleep lasting days, weeks, months or years can lead to symptoms that are similar to ADHD i.e. distractions, tiredness, lack of concentration, irritability, quick anger responses and such.

There are medications that will be prescribed for those who are diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. These medications do help those with ADD to focus, be in control, etc. However, there are side effects. Although some people have mild effects that do go away or fade after some weeks or months, there are those who have stronger reactions.

Side effects can range from nausea, trouble sleeping, loss of appetite, dizziness, dry mouth, headaches, mood changes to some others.

For more on this visit WebMD.

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At UCB (University of California at Berkeley), a study was conducted on ADHD over a period of 10 years by psychology researchers. This study which was conducted for the APA (American Psychological Association) found that ADHD in female adolescents and girls was linked to self-harming behaviors and suicide in young adulthood. Read the article here for more information Lifementalhealth

What happens when those who have self-harming behaviors do not get the help they need? How do they cope in relationships later on in life? Read the article for the full information.

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