Look Good - Feel Great!

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I Feel Good!

Maddy and Ava

BFF's
BFF's
I love jewelry!
I love jewelry! | Source
Wearing It's Just Jewelry!
Wearing It's Just Jewelry! | Source
Source
Source

Recently, another work-at-home mother confided in me that her husband gets annoyed that she wears sweats and doesn't fix her hair or make-up most of the time.

"Do you think it matters?" she asked rather disgusted "I don't go anywhere so why would it matter what I look like?"

I was uncomfortable about how I should answer this question. I wondered if she could be depressed but she isn't a close friend, more of an acquaintance. I would never ask her personal questions about herself or feel that it was appropriate. I cautiously worded my thoughts.

"Yes, I think it is very important. I do make sure that I get dressed and add a bit of make-up and jewelry every day. It makes me feel better. I also think it's great for my relationship with my husband and children. No matter how I feel - I make sure I look like I have it together - even when I don't - by the time they arrive home from work and school."

Research proves that looks mean a lot in today's world. According to a study published in Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, "when someone is viewed as attractive, they are often assumed to have a number of positive social traits and greater intelligence." This is referred to as the 'Halo Effect'.

Being attractive doesn't necessarily mean being beautiful. There are ways to increase your attractiveness to other people. According to Gordon Wainright, author of "Teach Yourself Body Language" your posture and bearing alone can affect how you are perceived by others. If you maintain eye contact, have an upbeat personality, dress nicely with splashes of color in your wardrobe and listen well, you will become more attractive.

I am just a blue jean kind of girl, however, I do love jewelry and there are occasions when dressing up is a must. That's why it's great to have a friend like mine, Mandy. I met Mandy when my youngest daughter, Madison started Kindergarten. On the first day of school her daughter Ava sat next to my daughter.

Ava smiled at Maddy and said, "look! We are wearing the same barrettes!"

Madison said, "Yeah! Do you wanna be best friends?"

They have been since that day.

Mandy is glamorous and always looks like she is ready for a fashion shoot. Over time, we too became great friends and thank goodness for me! I don't have ANY fashion sense - so when I do have to attend a formal event or dress up - she shops with me and always helps me choose just the right jewelry and clothes. Let me tell you, she has prevented many fashion disasters!

Mandy is a representative for "It's Just Jewelry!" I love this line and have so much fun with their designs. Each piece of jewelry is reasonably priced between $12 and $29 dollars. They also have a program that donates money to children who suffer from malnutrition.

While I do have some expensive jewelry, I love having lots of jewelry. I try to make sure that my jewelry matches the colors in my clothes, from watch to earrings. It doesn't matter if I am just wearing jeans and going to the grocery store, I still love adding jewelry. It's fun, it makes me look better and therefore, it makes me feel better.

I like looking nice for my husband's benefit. He compliments me almost daily about something that he likes about my clothes or how I look. This makes us both happy and forages a better relationship. Afterall - he was attracted to me when I was much younger and always did my best to real him in......I caught that shark and I am gonna keep him! The way I look as well as the way I feel affects his life daily.

Wainright suggests that for just one week if you try standing straighter, tuck in your stomach, hold your head high and smile at those you meet, you will begin to be treated with more warmth and respect and start attracting more people to you.

Studies have also proven that people with higher self esteem use make up more frequently. One female who was on welfare and looking for employment was given a complete make over and a new suit and some nice clothes. She landed a job that she wanted and was proud of, and subsequent to that, lost over 50 pounds because she said she felt so great about herself.

The better you look and feel - the more likely you are to succeed. Don't tell yourself no one cares if you look good - YOU DO!

"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Comments 66 comments

barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

Wow - was that our conversation up there... lol... I think I have said that very same statement. When I quite my job to move out to California I realized that was when I stopped carrying as much. Since I never left the house, there was no need to actually get dressed or do anything. I spend a lot of time just lounging in my pajamas. However, I will admit since I have started working out, it has forced me to get up and get dressed and then dressed again after I take a shower. That in itself makes me feel better and much more confident. It also helps that I have my stuff back so I can choose a variety of shoes to wear and actually have access to my stuff to wear some nice clothes.

As for jewelery, I love the stuff. I used to be pretty obsessed with Lia Sophia, but found I have run out of room for a lot of it. My husband got me a jewelery box for a gift and I am pretty sure it isn't big enough for all of it. (I still have to unpack it and organize it since all of my jewlery has been packed away for almost a year. Yeah - I finally have it back. I have even come across the ones that I made. I love making jewelery. There is just something special when you know it is one of a kind.

Awesome hub! Love all the interesting information you have packed in here!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Ha! Thanks BBG:). Well I actually often wear comfortable jeans and t-shirts. I do shower add make up and do something with my hair. I think it's more about feeling presentable. I only spend 30 minutes in the bathroom getting ready after I shower. That's hair and make up!

I do love my jewelry though - and I don't like to spend a fortune on it as I switch it up a lot. One of my favorite pieces is a snake bracelet I got in LA on Melrose. I had a blast shopping in the jewelry district there...you're so lucky to live in CA!


Hoganscarpeworld profile image

Hoganscarpeworld 5 years ago from Top

Wow!beautiful girl!


Ania L profile image

Ania L 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Interesting article although for me it starts from the other end - from FEELING confident and attractive. If you feel great and attractive, then it actually doesn't matter what you wear or if you have any jewellery at all - for others your smile and sparks in the eyes have this magnetic effect and they cannot help it but admire you :) Of course it might not be easy to feel like that without any help from clotehs or make-up so they are useful, as long as you feel comfortable in them and it boosts your self-esteem.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

When I am depressed, I tend to dress up a little, wearing a little more make-up so that my mood won't show on the outside. People tend to feel sorry for you when you are down but are not genuinely attracted to you. When you look good on the outside you start feeling better about yourself too.


Spirit Whisperer profile image

Spirit Whisperer 5 years ago from Isle of Man

Yes, I do agree that what you wear can reflect how you feel. So if you want to change how you feel it makes sense to change what you wear. If you don't take of yourself and like yourself then why expect anyone else to? Thank you RH.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Hogan - yes Mandy is a very beautiful girl! I have to have friends with class and style - since Garanimals aren't sold anymore:)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Ania - I do agree with you - some women do not need make-up at all and are just as beautiful. I think though that my friend - stopped kind of taking care of herself and lost her confidence because of it. For some of us - (and I'm talking about me here) I do not feel good unless I've fixed myself up a bit. I also think that my friend would feel more confident and used to take more time with her appearance....


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Cardisa - me too! I like feeling like I look good and if I don't I just want to stay inside:) lol. It just gives me a lift and what girl doesn't love colorful jewelry? And I do think being upbeat does make you more attractive too - people like to laugh and have fun and be around others who lift them up too. You don't look like you need an ounce of make-up tho - you're gorgeous!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

SW - thank you! Super important - I wanted to say that we have to care for ourselves first - others will follow. If a person does not take time to care about themselves - it tends to show. But taking a small step by realizing that you can make yourself feel better by getting a make over or a new hairstyle - can begin to change your whole world! Happiness comes from inside and how we feel and it shows on the outside:)


mythicalstorm273 profile image

mythicalstorm273 5 years ago

This hub felt like you were speaking straight to me. Having been unemployed for almost 2 months and although i have a job now I have only one day of work this week has forced me to stop being myself. Or at least that is how I feel. I wake up late because I do not have a reason to get up except to clean and kiss Darrel good bye, but he doesn't leave until 11. Half of the time I am lucky if I get anything done because I just do not feel like it. The days I actually get up and shower and beautify myself are like wake up calls. Although I do not receive compliments (Darrel doesn't do compliments) I have a tendency to get a lot more stuff done. How you look does affect the way you feel and the way you feel affects what you do which in turn affects the way you feel which in turn affects the way you look. It is a circle and you have to start somewhere, but it has an affect on everything else in your life. Great hub! Really reminded me of what I need to do and made me feel a little bit better as well!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Voted up and rated beautiful. My sister got all the jewelry wearing genes in the family. She has tons of the stuff. I have two rings and that's it.

I inherited boxes of costume jewelry from my mom (she made jewelry). But I sold 90% of it on eBay. My sister grabbed the good stuff first, so I had boxes of junk jewelry. Some pieces were ok costume stuff and I made some money, but I would never wear the stuff!

Ok, I have huge wrists. No normal size bracelet will fit. I have to wear men's watches if I wear one at all. I used to wear Dive watches, but since I quit diving, I've quit wearing even a watch.

The only time I feel pretty is at Halloween! ROFLMAOPP


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Myth - well first of all - give yourself a break! You have worked or gone to school your whole life...rest a little! Lol. When I first quit working (well I was like 38) I reveled in not having to punch the alarm clock. Such an awesome feeling that overcame any feeling I had about wearing makeup:) haha! But yep - it couldnt last forever eventually staying home gets boring too and getting out and about and mixing with other adults is vital in my world. Why I love all of you so much too - I've found so many intelligent, caring, sweet people on hub to flex the mind and chat with whilst I do my dirty work here with the toilet wand:) lol

But yep - I agree with and love that you pointed out it is a circle and it all makes our lives go round - or flatten out! Now go get yourself a diamond or something;) lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Austinstar! I knew you loved jewelry! I am surprised you don't make it. I have a huge box of jewelry but most of it's costume. I don't like paying a lot for it because I may not wear it very much. I have a red watch (and pink, white and purple) but I wear them rarely. I have the opposite problem - my wrists are so small that nothing fits. I love the it's just jewelry because most of the bracelets are made with elastic!

I love the stuff but really I need help to dress up:). Even my sister will shop with me and I'll grab something and hold it up and say isn't this cute?!" she mostly laughs and rolls her eyes and

makes me put it back. Apparently I'd look like big bird if I tried to dress myself;). Mandy does the

same things so it's not just her:)

You are an artist and have the eye for flair and color....I'm so jealous.....but I have one of your prints, a painting and a jewelry box with your designs! I bought them for myself because they make me feel good and they are beautiful and I'm worth it!


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 5 years ago from United States

oh yeah...I hear ya sista.

If dressed well for the day, it not only makes one feel good but also tends to boost one's self confidence to do more things. Loved your message!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Ruchira! Loved your comment:) ha! I do always feel better when I feel like I'm dressed cute and I do more things -because I feel better! It is a confidence booster and look at the fashion world - if most people didn't feel that way it would be a dying industry. Even in tough times - people still need to get hair cuts and buy clothing but I'm amazed at how much money people will pay for name brands when they have less money.

Thanks as always Ruchira!


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Before my layoff, I dressed up everyday and got use to many compliments. Now, although I still must go out to the grocery store, etc., I don't feel the same. When I'm with my daughter, she always points how when someone is checking me out, but I don't even notice anymore. My attitude is effected by how badly I feel about having lost my livelihood a year ago. You nailed it when you talk about posture, which dramatically matches the way a person feels.

I was front window dressing at my job and now I am a recluse. I still feel betrayed by the people I saw everyday that told me I was "family", but so easily dismissed me, knowing I had just finalized my divorce. I am not a defeatist, but it is also impossible for me to trust now. Even so, it is important for me to wear the makeup I always have, to remain "me". I dislike not being able to afford the hair coloring and cuts I enjoyed when working. For now, though, I have no choice.

I continue to write, enter writing contests and even recently submitted an article to Vogue in the hopes of finding my groove again. One day soon I hope to be a golden blonde again! Great article, RealHousewife. I relate!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Ha! you actually inspired me to brush my bed hair this morning. Yes, you are worth it.


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

When I worked out of the home I would do my hair and makeup everyday. Now...well....I tend not too. But it is true that when I do put on makeup I feel a lot better about myself. Especially when I go downtown and see all the people in their PJ's :). That always makes me laugh to see people that think they look cool in PJ bottoms.

I love that gray dress that you're wearing in the picture. As I sit here writing this I am embarrassed to say I am still in my "Virginia Is For Lovers" nightgown :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Amy - you are beautiful! And every time you go out your door - you make St. Louis a more beautiful place!

Totally understand about the job loss and how it can make you feel. That is going around and the housing market affects my business so I have had to be careful and tighten some things up. And it's even more important now that you do be kind to yourself. My SIS in law has had a really hard time too - lost her job a couple months ago....and was treated terribly by those who were by her side every day for years. She hasn't found work yet but on an interview today! I do notice the markets picking up so I'm holding out hope that this economy will turn around!

You ARE that golden blond!! Don't you forget that and things WILL come your way...let me know how that Vogue submission works out - that is super exciting and I'm crossing everything for you!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Austin - you crack me up! Hahaha! What the he'll is your bed made put of? I should have known Bob would have you sleeping on a bear skin rug by the fireplace:)

Thank you! I get a kick out of my Lela Cargill original the most! It's in the living room - against a camel colored wall. The beautiful framed print is in Mick's room - I put it there for it's healing properties and it's working!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Susan you make me laugh - I have my hair up in a towel (it's like 1pm here) and I'm wearing pj bottoms and a tank:) lol. I just make sure I've got it all combed out and put together before the kids see me. If I don't they can sense something's not right - if I'm feeling depressed I do my best to hide it from them too....they pick up on that stuff.

Laurel wears her PJ bottoms out in public!! I hate that! I keep telling her it looks silly - but of course, she's 23 and I know nothing:) lol.

I love the gray dress too! It's from Victorias Secret and my girls hate it! They said don't wear that one! I wanted a plain dress so I could show off the jewelry though. I am so glad you said you liked it - I was prepared to never wear it again! Lol


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Wear that dress again you look hot (oops did I say hot :) ) in it. My twins who are 23 wear their PJ bottoms out in public too. Must be an epidemic or something lol.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Yeah I imagine I sound like my parents when they didn't "get" the new fashion, but at least they were actual clothes and not my nightgown! Lol! And I can't believe she (or the other ones) aren't embarrassed to go out in their bedclothes! Some people even wear slippers instead of shoes - now come on! You know making it trendy might be clever - we'd only need one set of clothes every day! It would cut down on the laundry too! Lol

Thanks now I'm keeping and will wear the dress again!! Dave said he liked it too but - he shouldn't dress himself either so I don't trust him:)!


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I've got that same dress, RealHousewife, in red, except it has 3/4 sleeves. I use to wear it to work, but the guys asked me to "have mercy", so I wore it with a grey suit jacket. I've washed it so many times, it now has a hole where the turtleneck meets the top so its now retired. I got it on sale and it survived longer than I thought it would! You look fantastic, btw.


mythicalstorm273 profile image

mythicalstorm273 5 years ago

I agree with Just Ask Susan... I loved that dress! Very sexy :-) And I am just barely 24 so my opinion matters! lol... Seriously though it is one of those dresses I always felt every girl should have in her closet. Plus the fashion trends of today are sometimes pretty bad and a simple but sexy grey dress is a staple... it will never go out of style!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Amy - that's so funny! Have Mercy! Lmao! I bet they did ask you that! LOL and I can see why - I got mine on sale too - I make a habit of buying at Victoria's Secret - off season! Thank you so much for the compliment - I feel pretty good for being in the 40+ club;) lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey thank you Myth! Everything you say counts to me! And your a band geek and a history buff plus you like Elanor too! I tend to dress in solids because I don't match things well. I don't even trust myself to match the sheets to the bed spread:) but I figure I can look fine in solid and only have to worry about which shoes match unless one of my friends is around. The last print dress I got - I ended up looking like a fruit loop in it!!


mythicalstorm273 profile image

mythicalstorm273 5 years ago

lol... I seriously doubt you could ever look like a fruit loop, but solids are always a safe bet anyways. They may not be the 'hot' trend of the year, but you look great in them and you don't have to worry about a fashion faux pas. I am glad what I say matters :-) I seriously think you made my day!! That probably sounds really sad, but it is so true!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

OMG, Kelly - You mean dressing like a Fruit Loop isn't in any more??? Who knew? There goes my whole new fashionable wardrobe. Oh, wait a minute, someone's knocking at my door. I think it's the Fashion Police with an arrest warrant. The charge? Dressing like a public nuisance.

I'm going to show them this hub and maybe they will put me on probation. :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Myth - I so admire you!! You're so accomplished girl! Way ahead of your time in brains and talent. And it's not sad - there are many, many times I am made happy and smile or laugh because of comments I read! If it makes you happy - makes us both feel great!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Drbj - you are so darn clever and leave the funniest comments everywhere! Lol.

No! Apparently looking like a fruit loop isn't in! Haha! I have been arrested by the fashion police! Once I bought an outfit and it was so mismatched all the alarms started going off in the store! I was sedated and taken in for a neuro exam! LOL


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Dear Real, I honesty thought you were a kid. I'd bet money on the fact you must get carded whenever you go out. I did back then! Now, closer to 60, those days are but a memory. My photo is about a year old, but the past year feels like 10. Oh wait, I did get carded at Dirt Cheap. The woman looked at my ID and back at me and said "wow, you look young!" I tried to tip her, but she wouldn't accept. LOL


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Did they find anything? (on the neuro exam)

I'm waiting for the Twinkie police to show up at my door.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

I just wanted to say... today I went one step further... I brushed my hair... mwhahahahaha... lol! No seriously, I love this. I usually don't spend a whole lot in the bathroom cause I usually get interupted. The other day I was in the shower and Max decided to dump these bathtub confetti all over the place that he grabbed from the bathtub. The time before that, he turned the tub on. I try to wait until he is either napping or they all go to bed. That is when I get dressed. And then I get back into my PJs.

I am just kidding though. I have my days were I don't do much, but usually I find I get up and get ready cause I walk to the school to pick up the kids. Tomorrow - I am going to go through my jewelery. YOu have inspired me! :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Oh Amy - thank you! I am at heart but I'm 43 (I think!) I thought you were in your 20's the first time I saw your Profile pic...! It was only though talking about our kids I realized you had to be my age:).

I'd have wanted to tip that lady too - I got carded regularly until I was about 35 - now never! But I'm not gonna complain - I just plan on getting a whole body lift someday. I figure they can start at my toes and peel up to my scalp! Haha!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Austin - yes - they found odd matter near my medulla oblongota (you know like in Waterboy?) lmao!

The Twinkie police are easy to buy off - just give 'em a HO HO:)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

BBG - you just reminded me of when my nephew Chase was about 3 or 4....Dave was in the shower and heard rustling and turned around to see my nephew holding the curtain open, pointing and laughing hysterically!!

Today on the way home from school - Syd said her favorite part of the day is going to bed! Lol. She said she loves bedtime....and I said the best part of the day is when you get all done and get into pj's and have time to watch tv or play before lights out.

Have fun going through your jewelry! I always love finding stuff I forgot I had!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

BTW - I love that gray dress too.... it is a timeless piece and looks great with all the jewelery. I would probably never wear it cause I just have no place to dress up like that... but it would look awful nice in my closet! LOL


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

BBG - it mostly stays in the closet too....it's only gotten out twice now:) lol I wore it to the casino once....and still it waits to get back out of the closet for another event! haha


Daffy Duck profile image

Daffy Duck 5 years ago from Cornelius, Oregon

It really is important for people to dress like they care sometimes. It does help with people's emotions and attitudes.

This reminds me of a psychology class I took a few years ago. The teacher said that she often prescribes a very simple task to those with deep depression just to get them moving and active. Boiling water, going for a short walk, and other things. Good hub Real.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Daffy! I totally agree - and what a smart teacher! That is great to point out - thanks for that too! I loved studying psychology and sociology - it is super interesting!

I read about this under cover research that was done by a news station (maybe CNN - can't remember for sure but it was a reliable source) they had 4 people walk down the street and 2 of them were dressed nicely and in real life were models - the other two were they said were just regular people and not dressed as nice...they had them drop a stack of papers and people were falling all over themselves to help the models. The other two were ignored and people walked around them almost every time!

Thanks again Daffy!


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

Ah great hub and thoughts. I get up and do the coffe thing then get dressed wash my mug trim the stache and nose hair put on my leg and jeans, just get ready to leave even if I don't do anything more than feed the animals.

A just in case thing, it's hard to be impulsive if your in your underwear and looking like you just woke up. It adds a ton of stuff to just deciding to go to town or ride the ATV around and check the fence.

A needed motivational thing to kick off any day!

peace,

dust


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi 100 Caliber:) I truly think that it does make a person feel better and great point about being spontaneous because if I wasn't dressed and showered I wouldn't be leaving if say a friend called and asked to meet for lunch.

I miss my brother in laws cabin. We had ATV's down there and the property was on the boarder of land owned by the Army Corp...nice and quiet in other words:) I would like to retire on a piece of land like that.

Thanks so much Dusty - have a great day!!!


susan54 profile image

susan54 5 years ago

RealHousewife, I love your gray dress. I lke your hub also.Good luck!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Susan - thank you so much! So the kids are losing out on this one:). Thanks for liking the hub too! I hope you feel great!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Fantastic hub and so very true! I can relate to this entire hub but the one line that stand out for me is "No matter how I feel - I make sure I look like I have it together - even when I don't" that is a fact! No ifs, ends or buts! Your daughters are adorable! You look fab! :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Sunshine! Thank you so much! And I know - as a mother you totally get what I mean don't you? I do not let my children see me looking undone unless I am sick - I make sure I straighten everything up and snap to it before 3!

Sydney once told me that she loves that it smells good when she comes home from school. Important! lol


susan54 profile image

susan54 5 years ago

Realhousewife,I was thinking about writing on my style I am married, a girly girl who loves fashion, but I wear a mans flattop haircut and I love it. What do you think about my haircut and my hub Idea. Great job by the way.


susan54 profile image

susan54 5 years ago

Realhousewife, what do you think about a married women who wears a man flattop haircut. Should I write about it. Thanks


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Dear RealHousewife, I re-read your extremely relevant well-written piece and honed back in on the concept of posture. It slapped me in the face as when I'd read it originally. It is a cycle that is hard to break. When you feel bad, your posture follows suit. My daughter carefully pointed that out to me not too long ago when I was bemoaning my age and the invisibility I blamed on it. My daughter told me I don't look one day older, but my posture makes me look like I'm in hiding. It is a brilliant observation because I am! Shame at losing my job, a feeling of hopelessness at this stage of my life, anger at the fact that my greatest fear (which kept me in an unsatisfying marriage too long)in losing the job that secured my independence, is demoralizing. Thank you for writing this. It is so real.

I hope Susan writes about her flattop. It exemplifies uniqueness, bravery and strength. Plus, its adorable on her.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Too Funny Amy - I was just commenting on something of yours - ! ha! Kismet:)

Posture is so important - and it make you feel better to hold your head high also. Dave and I were just talking about the hardest time in our marriage yesterday - he lost his job - we had 3 kids - two in diapers! I worked nights - ugh! I shut off the cable, cell phones, tightened up. We were in dire straits but felt like it was shameful. My husband said, "after our oldest had a ballgame - everyone would be saying let's meet up for dinner after a win" Well - we couldn't afford that! Yet we would make up excuses rather than say - it isn't in our budget.

Then we talked about how weird it is that broke = shame. Looking back - we were a young couple working hard to grow our family - it was rocky but we made it and yes - now we laugh! We used to watch local television only - the choices limited - we watched reruns of the newlywed game - and tried to get the questions right:) haha! Or that extreme dating show - omg! It was hard but we made due and were still happy - just really stressing about money.

Now it seems silly to have felt that way. I just don't know what I was thinking - are you sure you aren't being too tough on yourself? It isn't everyone who gets published in freaking Vogue!!!! I am so proud of you - way to go! I know good things are right around the corner for us both!


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I think part of my disbelief in my circumstances was the fact that the small family owned company professed to think of me as "family". They knew, of course, about my nearly finalized divorce and my excitement of finding a great apartment just 12-minutes from work as opposed to the 90-mile trek I'd made for 13-years. Two weeks before my layoff, I was treated by my supervisor, the CFO, to lunch out and an outrageously spectacular annual review. I was blown away, hysterical, when the boss called me into the CFO's office and they both gave me the news two-weeks later. I am still shocked.

That doesn't mean that I accept that finality as my destiny. I am so excited about how much I love writing, Real! The thought finally dawned on me how wonderful it would be to actually do something I loved and get paid for it! I submitted writing samples to Schupp Co. here in downtown STL for copywriting, which is what I do for AMS online. Although, they are not advertising for help, a great copywriter is always desirable for an advertising firm. Think some positive thoughts for me, RealHousewife, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'll be standing tall if I "make" this happen!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Amy - We all have to have some faith in our lives and I truly know that you are on the right path. You even have an established online site for prospective clients to view at no charge! (HubPages:) I do not doubt for a minute that you are going to freelance full time. You are ready for the challenge and your skills are there so that is all there is to it! I mean - my other business which has been lucrative for 6 years now and allowed me to give up my full time job at the sleep lab - was started with a fax machine and a phone number. My first year in business I spent 10 dollars on advertising - it was just the right time - right place - right plan. Once you get your mind set - you just have to go forth and be positive and it happens. Things work out the way they do for a reason....and no matter what - eventually things get way better and you find yourself glad that what seemed like a break in the path turns into a whole new road:) A better one!


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

RealHousewife, I went to my local STL Starbucks today and the nicest girl in the joint always says "hi". We started talking and I found out she just started writing at the hub. I checked out her piece about Thrift Store Shopping and loved it. I told her about you, a fellow St. Louisan in some fan mail I left for her. If you want to check her out and give her some support as a new member, she is susieschone. I think you'll like her first piece!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

How cool is that??? Wow! That is awesome and I do want to check her page out for sure! You are the only other St. Louisan I know. I am really surpised too because it isn't like St. Louis is small!

Hey - I will have to meet up with you at a Starbucks someday! lol


Pinkchic18 profile image

Pinkchic18 5 years ago from Minnesota

You bring up some great points. I usually hang out in sweats until its time to leave the house but it couldn't hurt to throw some make up on and feel a little more alive during the day :) Thanks for sharing this hub!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Pinkchic - I wear sweats around the house too - I love to be comfortable - but I make sure to put real clothes on before I go out the door! Lol. Thanks so much:)


kellymom1970 profile image

kellymom1970 5 years ago

RealHousewife,VOTE UP! You are a very sexy women,I love the dress.I am a huge fan of wearing a dress. very good hub.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey kellysmom - thank you very much! I was just checking out your page! Welcome to hub - I can't wait to read your first article:)


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Hi Kel,

What I am currently wearing and have been all day: shorts (with a hole in them), tank top, white socks and fake Crocs. My hair is in a headband and I have my reading glasses on. NOT A PRETTY PICTURE I'M SURE. Since I have been "not regularly" employed for quite a while now, most of my work is out of the house online other than taking care of an elderly man a few hours a day. And believe me, Joe doesn't care if I show up in my pj's. So, I have been stuck in this rut for awhile.

A couple weekends ago, I went to a friend's for a fall/Halloween-type get together. I put make-up on, earrings and fixed my hair and wore clothes I hadn't worn in over a year. I felt confident and I'm positive it showed to all my friends. I stood taller, conversed, laughed, and had a great time. I do believe I need to fix myself up more often FOR ME TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT ME. Great article, really got me thinking!

Sharyn


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Sharyn! Just makes me smile to see ya:) lol. Way up and excellent comment! I know that when I was always wearing scrubs - I worked in a hospital environment - I felt like I was in pj's all day and all night! The girls were babies and so to spend time fluffing myself up felt a bit vane - but - I didn't feel happy! That's when I finally started to understand the whole - you have to take care of you first" thing.

But you are so right on....dust your self off and when you look good - you feel good about yourself and that makes others take notice too! Confidence is everything in getting through each day even if no one is watching:) lol.

Thanks so much - as always - for your great contributions with your comments!


gryphin423 profile image

gryphin423 5 years ago from Florida

Great hub! I work from home and you are so right about how just getting dressed and putting on a little makeup can make a difference in how you feel about yourself and how others view you. Great reminder! Voted up!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Gryphin423 - thank you so much! If you work from home too - I bet you know exactly what I mean:). Just because we don't go to an office doesn't mean we shouldn't look good or add a bit of color (especially with jewels:) ha!


seekingpeace91 profile image

seekingpeace91 4 years ago

Great hub, thanks so much for writing it! I work at home and HAVE to get up, shower, dress in something decent, etc. or I don't actually get anything done!! It makes me feel better. Good message, very positive, too- you make women feel like they are WORTH feeling good about!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Seeking - I work from home too so I know what you mean! I like getting cleaned up early and dressed - I have a ton of people who knock on my door for various reasons - mostly solicitors but I hate opening it if I'm not together! Lol. Or what if the school calls and I have to go pick up a sick kid - I'd hate to go running out looking like I just rolled out of bed! Hahaha! Thanks so much!

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