How to Make a Miscarriage Care Package

A box that was chosen specifically to hold memories of the pregnancy is a thoughtful touch.
A box that was chosen specifically to hold memories of the pregnancy is a thoughtful touch. | Source

I Can Make Life: Poems About Infertility and Miscarriage, Pregnancy and Birth

I Can Make Life addresses the impact of fertility treatments, pregnancy, miscarriage and birth as it re-traces the poet's long journey to her son -- and finally, to peace.
I Can Make Life addresses the impact of fertility treatments, pregnancy, miscarriage and birth as it re-traces the poet's long journey to her son -- and finally, to peace. | Source

A Healing Gift after a Pregnancy Loss

When we see a loved one in pain, our instinct is to do whatever we can to help. However, the emotional impact of a miscarriage can be so great and so difficult to talk about, we may feel unsure of how to approach a bereaved friend or family member. We look to our loved one for cues, but in the early weeks following a miscarriage it can be hard for a woman to get out of bed, let alone communicate her needs.

A handmade care package is a thoughtful, caring way of showing that you are thinking of someone. It is a practical gift that can be personalized and dropped off at the doorway of a friend who isn't yet ready for company. It is a gift that can help us connect with our loved ones even when words seem to fail.

Tips for Assembling a Miscarriage Care Package

Choose A Container Than Can Hold Memories
While baskets can be used for care packages, a memory box can be used to store special memories of the pregnancy (for example, an ultrasound photo, memory journal, cards from loved ones, memorial jewelry, a letter to the baby, etc).

You can find a selection of keepsake boxes at craft or engraving stores, which can be personalized as you wish. Sometimes dollar stores have pretty boxes, or you might find something around the home that can be used with a little bit of creative embellishment. You can also order customized memorial boxes online at cafe press.

A gift card for the spa provides the gift of healing touch.
A gift card for the spa provides the gift of healing touch. | Source

Generic Care Package Items
While you will likely want to personalize your care package, here are some generic suggestions to get you started:

  • home made cookies
  • high quality organic chocolate
  • magazines
  • a blank journal
  • herbal teas
  • fuzzy socks
  • a pedicure kit
  • scented candles
  • milk bath (or a soothing bubble bath)
  • tissue
  • a spa gift certificate

A blank memory book can be used to journal thoughts and feelings about a pregnancy and miscarriage.
A blank memory book can be used to journal thoughts and feelings about a pregnancy and miscarriage. | Source

Following is a list of suggested items to make your care package meaningful to your loved one:

Personalized Care Package Items

  • a stuffed toy
  • a memorial pendant personalized with the baby's due date or a special symbol
  • a personalized candle (with the baby's name written on a handmade scroll)
  • a book of healing stories (related to pregnancy loss or loss in general)
  • a personal note or letter of support
  • a handmade or purchased memory book

An Informative Program About Miscarriage and Grief

Expressing Your Sympathy After a Miscarriage

What to Write in a Card or Letter
Choosing words carefully is important when someone is grieving a miscarriage. Begin your note by acknowledging the loss. Simply conveying your feelings with a phrase like, "I was so sorry to hear about your miscarriage" is appropriate and comforting. State that you are there for your loved one, and remind her that she can call you at any time (but remember that for some, it will be difficult to pick up the phone for awhile). If you intend to follow up with your friend, you can note that you will call her in a few days or a week to check in - but only say so if you can keep the promise.

While often said with the best intentions, there are some phrases that can feel hurtful following a miscarriage, and should be avoided:
* This must be a blessing in disguise
* The baby probably wasn't healthy
* You have a baby in heaven now/an angel watching over you
* You can always try to have another baby
* You are lucky you already have a child

A woman needs time to grieve in her own way and her own time after a miscarriage. A care package is a thoughtful gesture and a touching, personal gift of comfort at a difficult time.

My best wishes go out to you as you support your loved one in her grief.

About Nicole Breit

Nicole Breit is an award winning essayist and poet. Her debut poetry collection, I Can Make Life, explores the physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual impact of fertility treatments, pregnancy, pregnancy loss, and birth. I Can Make Life was a finalist for the 2012 Mary Ballard Poetry competition. Her essay, “For Tristan: A Meditation on Loss, Grief and Healing” was published in The Sound of Silence: Journeys Through Miscarriage (Wombat Books, 2011). She is also the author of a number of online pregnancy loss resources.

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Comments 4 comments

masonjoe29 4 years ago

There's a lot of unique ways to honor a child after miscarriage. One innovative product is childrens cremation jewelry http://www.jewelrykeepsakes.com/Children-Urn-Penda... which lets parents hold close a memento - doesn't have to be ashes. Can be part of a blanket, ashes from a picture, whatever means something.


Nicole Breit profile image

Nicole Breit 4 years ago from The Pacific Northwest Author

Thank you for your comment and for the link. I will add it to my hub on miscarriage resources on the web. Best regards,

Nicole


ar.colton profile image

ar.colton 4 years ago from Vancouver, B.C.

Sending a miscarriage care package is a very sweet idea. However, I think if someone had scent me a stuffed toy after my miscarriage I would have balled my eyes out. A toy for someone who now has no child to give it to? Not so good. The candle, perhaps with 'Angel Baby' written on it would be great though. Something to burn in honour of the little one.


Nicole Breit profile image

Nicole Breit 4 years ago from The Pacific Northwest Author

Thank you for reading, and for your comment!

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