snoozing, training, grubbing,creating, laughing your way to the shiney side of lifes coin
Having experienced severe anxiety attacks masking depression that masks anger, I felt a bit defeated at the prospects of healing all the while having a productive life. Let's face it, when you're depressed or going through the anxiety section of your brain that's reminiscent of a house of horrors, it can be daunting to even pump gas much less take on the largest obstacle of your life, you. Putting on shoes can be hard, breathing is hard but if you're like me, you don't want to give up. You want to come to a point in life when darkness is no longer threatening to take you over and I think it can be done.
I'm still in it but atleast a hell of a lot better than before. I can drink coffee now without getting creeped out and trapped inside my brain. I'm going to get past this. I mean, come on, cloning is possible as are so many other things that if most of us became aware of some of these things, we'd run screaming to our poor mothers who would have no choice but to build a moat around her house so that our stalker asses can't up end her "new office" and reclaim our old bedrooms.
This mental monster is a process that won't be cured in a day, unfortunately, but I do think I'm onto something:
No matter how hard it may be, an adequate amount of sleep is dire. Too much or too little can make even the healthiest person feel a bit disheveled and cracked out. This one's a toughy for me because it requires the same kind of discipline that Rocky had to get when ever he got his ass kicked and realized that he needed to get it together. If you have to buy the Rocky soundtrack, you won't be judged by me. It was my ring tone for a while until my girlfriend had to put her foot down and tell me that it can anger someone just as much as inspire when you hear Gonna Fly Now first thing in the morning. Fair enough. But, sleep, natural sleep is the way to go. It's when you heal best. Nightmares can be a deterrent to wanting to crash out for 8 hours. Believe me, I know. It makes what should be peaceful into a crazed circus that only makes you want to rip your face off when you do finally wake up which is what leads me to my next suggestion:
Exercise! Alright, I get it. Not everyone is into lifting weights and to some, the treadmill is no different than a hamster wheel. I also agree that gyms can be expensive but there are alternatives. Buy a couple of dumb bells, do some push ups, crunches and jump rope or buy an exercise dvd. The incentive is the endorphins that flood your brain and elevate your mood, helps you sleep easier and strengthens your body which prevents injury as well as improves any preexisting condition. Do you want to feel awful or are you willing to give this a shot?I definitely have my days when I somehow prefer cleaning the cat box or dusting to working out but eventually I do it. It should be as important as brushing your teeth and if you don't brush your teeth stop reading this blog and get your gross self to the bathroom and clean your poor teeth!
The third thing that is necessary is eating several times a day to nourish yourself. I did this fast once. Lasting only a five of the ten days, I finally gave in to the best damned banana I've ever eaten in my entire life! If an ape would've tried to take that banana from me, I would've kicked it's ass and sent it back to the zoo crying. I was hungry and at that moment realized how important food is to get everything working properly. It's the oil that greases the engine. I'm not talking about cookies, chips, sauces, fat, processed foods and more fat either. Even if your thin, that'll muck up your insides and send you on the fast track to poor health and eventually, a lot of doctors. Believe it or not, fruit is good and so are vegetables. If you need to jazz it up with stuff then do it but just do it. Try avoiding the fried foods, the fast foods and any other type of food thats rumored to come from a bio engineered animal with three heads or a garden pumped with more chemicals than what a mortician puts into a corpse. Yeah, I know, gnarly visual. Oh yeah and moderate the booze, ditch the sodas and drink lots of water.
Finally, find an outlet for yourself. Paint, do yoga, cook, volunteer to help those less fortunate, write, knit, just do something to occupy your time. The more empty time we have, the more time we have to develop disorders because the mind has to find something to do. So let it be positive. Scrub a floor, brush a cat, paint a wall, build a castle out of tooth picks, learn to juggle...just do something. Take that energy that feeds the darkness and put it to good use. Your mind works for you. It is not your enemy. It can be a good life. Remember to breathe and think of something that makes you happy or put in a movie that makes you laugh. Laugh a lot, smile a lot, love a lot. Try it for six weeks and then let me know how you're doing. Who knows? Maybe the day you respond to me is a day that I need a pick me up and you can remind me of what I advised because sometimes I forget. Let's do this. Heal to happiness. Happiness in healing and from there, doors will start to open and you can feel like you're getting your life back. And what a great life it can be.