What if We Have it All Backwards?
what if we have it all s-d-r-a-w-k-c-a-b?
Let's just say that maybe things aren't exactly as you'd like them to be at the moment. Let's say it's about your cash flow. Or that person in your life. (or the lack thereof). Maybe it's about your job. (or the lack thereof). Or the way your body looks or how your kids are acting or that pain-in-the-butt neighbor who insists on cranking up the chainsaw at 7 a.m. every Sunday morning. Whatever "it" is, you think it's the reason you're not happy.
So then you say to yourself, "As soon as I get that handled, I'll be happy. Just gotta get that handled."
And you push and shove, push and shove, push and shove, trying to get it handled.
To no avail.
The more you push and shove, the bigger it gets. The more it pushes and shoves back. The more you try. The bigger it gets. Back and forth. On and on. Until you think you're never going to get to "happy".
But what if we've got it backwards? Bear with me now...
What if...we were to get happy first? What if, every time that annoying 'whatever' popped up, we were to say to ourselves, "STOP! JUST STOP! I'll think about that later. Right now I'm going to think about something that already makes me happy."
I'm posing this (for the millionth time) because I've been practicing a LOT lately. And I can assure you...it does take practice. It's not something we're trained to do. Mostly we've been trained to attack our problems head on and work it out. Did you see that word? WORK. Isn't work something that requires great effort? Isn't work something that most of us are averse to? Isn't work what we must do in order to get to play? How many times have you said, "THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!" The majority spend their whole lives waiting for Friday to get here. And Mondays get the bad rap. You know what I'm talking about, yes?
Practicing your mental train (of thought) takes a little time. But not as long as you might think. If you were to plant that seed of "STOP!" in your brain right now, and then listen for it...listen and feel your way to another train of thought...you'd be amazed at how much things change. I am NOT kidding. It goes something like this:
The Bonehead that's always pissing you off walks into the room and begins his usual asinine behavior. Maybe he goes over to the microwave and puts his stinkin' sandwich directly on the platter (instead of being sanitary and considerate to the others, and placing it on a paper napkin or some such). He always puts cheese in those stinkin' sandwiches, which, of course, melts onto the platter. He never, ever cleans up after himself. Leaves the melted cheese on the platter and gets busy on his stinkin' sandwich. You've asked the Bonehead to stop doing this at least a hundred times. He continues to ignore you and everyone else, and puts his stinkin' sandwich on the platter. You can feel your blood pressure rising. You want to go over and slap the crap outta him. Instead, you allow yourself to seethe while the microwave heats his stinkin' sandwich. You're thinking you could just as easily heat that stinkin' sandwich with your hot thoughts right now. Seething hot thoughts.
It takes you an hour and a half to forget about it and get back to whatever you were doing. But next time you see the Bonehead, it all comes rushing back.
Round and round and round you go.
Here comes the Bonehead. He's got another stinkin' sandwich; meatballs and mozzarella cheese. You just know that stinkin' sandwich is going to make the biggest mess ever. But instead of going all bonkers on yourself, you say "STOP!"...and then you turn your attention to the beautiful dinner you had with your best friend last night. Or the way your dog goes crazy when he sees you coming. Or how that really nice lady at the grocery store packed your groceries without crushing your bread. You remember that time you went to the coast for the weekend and spent days relaxing with nary a care in the world. You touch the necklace around your neck; the one you got from your mom when you graduated. You close your eyes for just a few seconds and take yourself elsewhere; you take yourself to some 'happy' place where there aren't any Boneheads.
Your breathing stays normal. Your blood pressure is right where you like it to be. Your body temperature remains at a steady 98.6. You have effectively taken yourself to another place and/or time where everything is as right as rain. Big, happy sighs ensue.
Feel the difference?
Whether it's about the Bonehead at work, the noisy neighbor, those size 7 jeans you want to get back into, or the person you'd like to have come into your life...FIRST you get happy. THEN all that other stuff comes flowing in like you were born with a magic wand and the power to make anything happen with the wave of a hand.
More by this Author
Nowadays, there are quite a number of women who have made the choice to live on their own, buy their own homes and navigate their way through the world without a man. Whether by choice or by happenstance, it turns out...
The hallowed halls of Harvard University are as famous for their ivied buildings as for the many famous alumni who once walked those halls. From John Hancock to John F. Kennedy, Barack Obama and Bill Gates, and yes,...
If someone had told me five years ago that my life would turn on a dime, all upside down and unfamiliar, I'd have laughed at them. I'd probably have said something like, "You're out of your mind. I am strong and...