Count up to ten; time heals
I know. Its not time that does the healing. I will say it anyway. Allow time to pass and the hurt you feel will go away, time heals. You will look back at this situation and the whole scheme of things will be clearer.
I can not believe how I did it, or should I say, how it happened, that I could forget. When I broke up with my first girl-friend, it hurt so bad that I did not think life would be worthwhile living. Nothing else really mattered to me except the hurt in my heart, the feeling of emptiness, and the longing for that person I loved; the pain was so great I would not have thought, for a moment, that I would ever forget her and the moments we shared together.
I could not imagine her in someone else's hands, giving that same smile to another man. At the same time as I hated, I loved everything that seemed to remind me of her. It was a paradox.
Such is the power of our connectedness and the hurt it leaves behind when things go wrong. But we forget, and over time, we move on in life and establish new relationships and find our way without the hurt we felt. More profoundly, we learn to look back and appreciate the lessons we learned, often realizing the bigger scheme of things and why it may have been necessary for us to go through what we experienced.
Time has a way of putting things away into the places of our memory where they cannot hurt us. Time has a way of removing the sting of brokenness.
One would be tempted to think only big disappointments matter in life. Oh no, even the small things too. One would think love comes only once in life and that we meet the special one and that is it. Oh no, people will tell you they are attracted to others often in their lives. And then it all depends on how one manages that attraction, it can lead to relationship and the hurts we are talking about when those break.
Think of the wonderful people we relate with at church, or at place of work; think of those we cross paths on the journey of life. You don't need to live with a person to be attracted to them. The chemistry of love, we are told, is sometimes instantaneous and spontaneous. We have to manage those attractions and relationships so that they do not cause us pain. Love will always have the potential to cause us pain. Sacrificial love is painful experience.
Sometimes relationships grow over small incidents, like helping someone. If you helped someone in their moment of need, who knows, there can be a next time and a next meeting. That is as it should be. That is okay.
All of this relationship thing is okay. We are wired that way. It is how our Creator made us, in His own image, in His likeness He made us. We are sensitive to the needs of others. We are moved by suffering and attracted to respond to those that hurt. So, its okay to relate. It is also okay to make a commitment as long as it is within the moral, ethical and legal margins of life. It is okay. Unfortunately, the laws of attraction and love respect none of those moral, ethical or legal boundaries and often our relating crosses the boundaries.
Relationships form and break. This too is normal. It is okay. But for those to whom it happens it hurts. It hurts very bad sometimes. And yet, upon the passage of time the hurt diminishes. It is replaced by a gradual acceptance and eventual acknowledgment that life is like that.
Time is one of the uninvited guests in the place of hurt; as where a broken relationship exists. Time, like a persistent guest, waits. Then, one day, time becomes an acquaintance and a sure friend.
Time has no color, no creed and most certainly, no face. Like the God of the Universe, who made us, time is ageless, like eternity. It is bound to us while we remain here on earth and retires to her abode when we are done, only to remain in our deeper memories, no more. For, in eternity, there will be no more time, no more memory of things that hurt us here and no more remembrance of where time went.
So, count to ten, and repeat if necessary, time is on your side. Your hurt will go away and time will be your friend again; to heal your wounds and make you forget what went before. Time will show you a better way to a greater happiness. Take time. It is hard. I know.
Dealing with emotional pain
- Dealing With Your Emotional Pain
Some emotional pain will leave us with time. Some will leave if we decide to let it go. There are times, though, when we must live with emotional pain; either because we haven't had sufficient time to heal...