Unexpected Unplanned Unmitigated Life My Kind of Journey an ‘Always Open’ Road

Nothing is for certain.

We are not locked in.

Everything is at our disposal.

We are as free as the wind.

Responsibility remains with ourselves, while duty and obligation have no place in our lives when subjected onto us by someone else. It's an inside job. The greatest disservice and most fierce act of unkindness we will ever to do another is when we negate, abate and sublimate our 'natural and convenient' innate desires. Unless we are authentic (the real seal), we do not, have not, and will not show up for our lives, relationships and work. We are merely playing ridiculous games of pretense. Regrettably and stupidly, not the first one of them fulfills, sustains or registers.

It's simply a dreary monotonous merry go round.

The long and short of it is this: ‘it’ matters what we do but only to us! IF we are doing anything for anyone at anytime for any other reason than for the ‘gut driven’ instinctive passion that drives us to express our deeply embedded sublime, sensual, sacred, sexual, artistic natures, we are nothing but disposable phonies. We are merely walking around, in a desperately empty, apathetically numbed, half-awake daze, haphazardly avoiding the next car that may plow right into us. The one and only problem with that unlived scenario: we won’t even know what hit us. Our short time here on earth would have been null, void and without meaning.

What meaning, you may ask? “I don’t see any meaning. I KNOW I’m here for some reason (purpose), I just don’t know what that is."

Of course, you don’t. You have not showed up for your life, yet. You walk around with either a chip (bolder) on your shoulder because your life hasn’t’ worked out as you planned or displaying an exalted sense of elevated importance, thinking you deserve more than you have. You gripe and complain continuously, gossip unceasingly because you have to create drama for lack of any real substance, change your mind chaotically, (saying one thing while doing another), strive, compare, compete with just about everyone you’ve ever met, come in contact with or read about. Bottom line: you either diminish or praise yourself beyond any possible human recognition.

Never once have you acknowledged, embraced and/or accepted your life exactly as it unfolds each moment with each and every conceivable flaw you could possibly attach to it. You either want to fix it, fast-forward or flaunt it. Never once do you simply show up for it. You still believe (and, wholeheartedly, I might add) that you are supposed to ‘be somebody’. In addition, underneath every action you take the irrepressible need to ‘get something’ or ‘do something’ so that you can once and for all prove your specialness drives you forward. You erroneously believe people are going to one day pat you on the back and say what a marvelous job you’ve done.

“Not gonna happen, captain."

We are incestuously vested vain creatures. We are so intimately wrapped up in the cherished ideas we maintain about ourselves, along with the sordid morose ways we project those idealized notions, we wouldn’t recognize the essence of who we are IF we met ourselves in the local gas station. The sad thing: we believe our own prefabricated lies to the point of exhausting extinction. Our undying, undeniable need to be seen as “GOOD” and “DECENT” human beings ruins every authentic word, gesture, action and thought we could ever muster up.

We want to be ‘right’; admired, respected, accepted, adored, agreed with, and last, but certainly, not least applauded for the wonderful, caring, patient, involved, intelligent, understanding, forgiving, noble, interested, kind, generous, beautiful person we work so hard to show we are. Never does anyone suspect we are all frauds: interested or vested in nothing whatsoever except it benefit and promote us. Whether that be in the playing the victim role to the hilt or demonstrating how much we go out of our way to do unto others, matters not. We silently, skillfully, seethingly count the cost, tabulate our losses or gains, the entire time we are doing what we do and being what we are.

Not only will we go to great lengths to prove to others how vitally indispensable we are, and magnificently fortunate ‘they’ are to have us (our saintly presence) in their lives, (sometimes, the disguise of our humbleness and graciousness purely sickens), we will fight a bitter, hopelessly futile, losing battle to demonstrate our so-called innocence when attacked, threatened or questioned. We sorrowfully never realize, IT is us who plays to the crowd by jumping through hoops of delusion and discontent. In other words,

“They’re our lies; we’re telling them like we want to.”

Too bad, (for us), while we so desperately cling to an idea of perfection, the ‘ALWAYS OPEN ROAD” bars admittance to anyone who are not guileless vagabonds; without ideas, goals, expectations and usurping needs to ’make it.’ Showing up for our lives involves total rejection of competing for the ‘center of attention.’ When we finally realize, rather starkly, that we are literally throwing ourselves-and what time we have been allotted- away for a ‘song and pony dance of meaningless charades we don’t’ even like or enjoy, we sit and stare unbelievably.

Yes, we all have a unique divine purpose for being alive. We will never find it, though, as long as we are on any other road of manifestation other than “ALWAYS OPEN”. What does that mean, exactly? It means we don’t cage ourselves into a role of identification which appeases our minds. We don’t gravitate to the easy identifiable associations that so easily beset us. We risk being thought of as anything other than what we THINK we are (need). We forfeit unmotivated security (the five, ten, twenty five, year goal plan) for ‘raw and real’ discovery in each moment. We cease needing to defend, excuse or explain our actions. We dare to strip from our bodies, minds, relationships and lives any smidgen of pretense, hypocrisy and superficiality. We define ourselves in nothing or nobody.

We allow the “ALWAYS OPEN ROAD” to envelope us so completely we cannot {even with the most powerful known technological microscope) tell the difference.