What to do when you feel bad
Do you feel bad? Why?
Do you often feel bad about things? It could be things that you have done or said. It could be things you are thinking. Or it could be a simple case of feeling bad. When you feel bad, for whatever reason, you need to look at yourself to find out why. No, I don't mean analyze yourself to determine if you are insane or something. I mean look at where you are and what you are doing at that moment. Ask yourself a few questions like "are you a wall flower in a crowd" or "did you tell on someone to be mean". If you have caused the problem, then fixing it will fix your feelings as well; or at least that is what is hoped.
But what about when you are not the cause? How do you handle those situations? Often, if you just pay attention to details around you, you will find that you have choices. Those choices will determine the air around you. The air around you will determine whether you feel good or bad about yourself. It will also determine how others feel about you based on your own feelings. Hard to believe, right? But it is true. It still comes down to you.
When you feel like you are boring or ignored
I find that I am usually ignored when we go to places whether they are new or otherwise. At first, I thought it was because there was something wrong with me; however, I have since learned otherwise. You see, if you don't speak to those around you, they won't speak to you. The best part about that is: you don't even have to know the person with whom you are talking. All you have to do is say "hi", or compliment something they are wearing. Or just smile at them.
Is it okay to make yourself bigger and better than you really are? Well, a little goes a long way. Something you say now may come back to you when you least expect it. Like when your friend, who brought you to the shing-ding comes over and says: "Getting cozy are we?" Did you tell him about your twelve cats?" Then you find out that the person hates cats and the moment is lost. But you don't have to make yourself bigger or better. All you have to do is be yourself. Be comfortable with you. Once that happens, everything else will fall into place. Oh, and don't worry about whether or not someone will like your cats or something because you are not getting engaged; you are just talking.
When you feel you would be better off dead
Yeah, I know sometimes we feel that we are not wanted or that we are too much of a burden to our families. We all feel that way sometimes. And often the feeling lasts long enough for us to get grumpy, miserable, and snappy when talking to others. Left to fester, these feelings could take you down a long-long hole that you won't be able to crawl out of without help.
Instead, when you are feeling that way try thinking of something you like; maybe a garden all in flower; maybe a pond with ducks and geese swimming about; or maybe just a particular book you used to read. Use these items to relax and feel better. Even if you can't do what you used to do, there are things you can do. So what if it takes a bit longer (or in my case a lot longer) you can still do it in little steps. Besides, we all have bad days where nothing seems to go right. There is always tomorrow.
Try letting go when the day goes bad
I'm sure you can remember days when you get up to take a shower and the shower curtain falls; then you spill coffee on your white shirt on the way to the office; then you trip up the stairs (hard to do I know) and end up limping all day; then you go to give your report to the boss, the one you spent weeks working on, only to find that you forgot to type the last section; no one knows what your bad day is like except you. The problem is: your bad day is affecting others.
So: Take a moment to step outside and just close your eyes. Breath in the clear air (I know some may not have a lot but you can pretend). The purpose of this exercise is to let go. Let go of the anger, fear, and self- consciousness. Let go for just five minutes.
Now, tell yourself that you are the best at what you do. Even the best make mistakes now and then. You can do the job. You are confident. You are strong. Then take a deep breath, hold it for a moment, and let it out along with all the bad things that have happened. You are starting over. Go get 'em tiger!
Okay so sometimes the problems just seem too strong, what then?
Well, you could go off in a corner and have a good cry. I sometimes find that it is the very best way to clear the air. Of course, I get a mighty headache afterwards and usually have to sleep to get rid of it, but what the hey, right?
You could go into your bedroom, lock the door, cover all the windows and lay on your bed to think about how dumb and stupid you are. Of course, that will just make the problem linger longer and not go away. And besides, you know you are not stupid or dumb. There is no such thing. Okay, maybe you can't add or subtract large numbers in your head. Maybe you can't come up with new ideas for raising moral. Everyone has their weak points. Everyone has their strong points as well and that is where you need to focus.
Give yourself a little credit. You can do things right. You are good at something. You are strong and confident and a credit to your company, family and/or group! Without you, nothing would work right Everything would fall apart---okay, so I am laying it on thick; but, that is how you do it. Get real outrageous with it. Really lay it on thick. Then, when you stop laughing at yourself for being so silly, you will have cleared the air and can think clearly once more. Now, focus on the real you.
Do things that you like to do
You can do things to make yourself feel better
- Find a hobby that you like: jewelry making, painting, sculpting, sewing, crocheting, knitting, baking, gourmet cooking, fostering animals---the list is just so big that I can't list it all here. And just following a subject can help--like get a magazine on sewing and keep up with the latest techniques.
- Talk to someone about it. I find that I can talk to my animals about all of my trials and tribulations. The best part is they don't tell anyone.
- Put notes in different places in your home or in your work area. They could say: "I can only do what I can do"; or "I am the strong link"; or "I can do it on my own". I often find that just putting up notes with large smiley faces on them can help me by drawing on my sense of the ridiculous.
- Got something that you like to do or have good friends that you always do things with? Take pictures and put them around where you can see them a lot.
- Go get a pint of your favorite ice cream and eat it all in one sitting. (Don't do this one too often, though).
- Watch a movie you know will make you laugh.
- Put earphones on and listen to your favorite music as loud as you want.
- Take a nap. Not at work though, I think the boss would frown on that.
- Go shopping at your favorite store.
- Join Hubpages and write about it. I know that makes me feel good.
If you can think of anything that I may have forgotten, feel free to put them in the comment section below!
We are all down now and again. The trick is to not let it get to us, and try to follow our own advice.
Of course, it is real easy to give someone else good advice and to even guide them along as they struggle through the process. But to take our own advice.......not so easy.
So try this, look in the mirror at yourself, oh go on, it's not that bad I promise. Now tell yourself, like you would tell a friend, that you are strong, confident, knowledgeable, and an overall good person. Smile at the reflection you see before you. You see a totally different person don't you? Keep working on it and before long you won't have to keep telling your friend in the mirror that they are strong, confident, knowledgeable, and an overall good person because they will already know that.
And if all that fails, try making eye contact and smiling at strangers. The smiling is contagious and so they will smile back. Before long, you will be smiling for real (and, just to add to the fun, making everyone wonder what you are smiling about).
© 2011 Cheryl Simonds
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