48 Funny Birthday Quotes, Sayings and Greetings
Happy Birthday to you if yours is today. I know you're old . . . but try to smile. Enjoy!
- You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.
- When I have a birthday, I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
- You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
- Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
- Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
- When I was born, I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
- Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
- With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.
- The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
- I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
- You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar . . . Yung No Mo
- I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!
- You’re not 40, you’re 18 . . . with 22 years of experience!
- Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!
- You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!
- Old enough to know better, young enough to still do it.
- Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.
- I’m just here for the cake.
- If you want to look young and thin on your birthday . . . then hang around a bunch of old, fat people.
- Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday . . . and assume I said them. Happy birthday!
- There are lots of good people in the world. One of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
- A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never remembers her age.
- Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
- Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, "Happy Birthday."
- Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
- Looking 50 is great . . . if you’re 60.
- Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.
- So far, this is the oldest I have ever been.
- It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.
- Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit . . . but check it for wrinkles first!
- You’re so old that when you looked at your birth certificate, it said expired.
- People say that the good die young, so I guess that make you an old badass!
- It’s proven that at the age of 41, you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!
- Another year, another new place that aches.
- It's okay to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department.
- An old fart is as good as a new one.
- Don't think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.
- The younger you try to look, the older you actually are.
- Count your blessings, not your wrinkles.
- May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live.
- Wishing you many more candles and a cake big enough to fit them all on.
- You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by "for your age."
- Don't forget to wear your sunglasses when the cake is served. Happy birthday.
- The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
- No wise man ever wished to be younger.
- Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
- When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui, and I want my husband to be so upset that he has to drop out of college.
Happy birthday to you and yours!
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