50 Reasons To Celebrate Being Single On Valentine's Day
1. You don't have to makes excuses as to why you have not recieved flowers.
2. You get to flirt with all the good looking men.
3. You get to watch whatever you want on television, yes you are the boss of the remote.
4. You can stick to your budget, cuz the only male in your life is your dog, and dogs can't eat chocolate.
5. You won't have to freeze in a skimpy neglige. That's right, sweatpants all the way!
6. You don't have to tell your partner he looks sexy in those gaudy red boxers with hearts splattered all over them.
7. You don't have to explain the "mood" you are in, or tell anyone what's on your mind.
8. You can eat tons of garlic, the dog's breathe is always worse than your's.
9. You can sleep in the middle of the bed with two pillows, wrapped in the comfort of your frilly comforter.
10. No one will ever know if you snore, not even you.
11. You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want for dinner. And, clean-up, that's a snap.
12. You can buy yourself a gift, cuz you really are for supporting the local economy, especially in the "slump time" following Christmas.
13. You can leave your make-up and hair supplies all over the bathroom vanity and none of them will mysteriously disappear.
14. You can eat every piece in the chocolate shaped heart, and share with no one. You can even poke a pinkie through them to see what kind it is-Then you can put it back!
15. You can decorate you bedroom in frilly pink without worrying about greasy, grimy smudges.
16. You can do as many stupid things as you like and there is no one there to roll their eyes.
17. You can use as much hot water as you want in your bubble bath.
18. You can watch your favorite show at 2a.m.-in bed-with buttered popcorn-anytime you want.
19. You can belt out the words to your favorite songs, and there is no one to tell you how bad you sound.
20. Everything you buy is your favorite thing!
21. Everything you eat is your favorite food!
22. You get to fill your home with your favorite things!
23. Nothing in your home is out of place, or in bad taste.
24. You always know where everything is.
25. You can be a couch hog every night.
26. You can spit your toothpaste in the sink and forget to rinse it out.
27. All the germs in your home are your's. Can't catch your own germs.
28. You get to leave your clothes all over the bedroom floor.
29. Your shower towel is always dry.
30. You can leave your shoes in the middle of the floor, and very rarely trip over them.
31. You can make divots with your high heel pumps all over the newly seeded lawn, and no one will yell.
32. No one ever eats that slice of pie you've been dreaming of all day. It won't move, it won't disappear, it will even be there if you leave it overnight. That's right you can eat it for breakfast if you want.
33. Your concentration is never broken!
34. You can leave your make-up tissues all over the bathroom vanity. You can even leave a few atop the bedroom dresser.
35. There is always enough toilet paper on the roll.
36. The tissue box is never empty when you reach for the must needed tissue.
37. There is always enough milk for your coffee.
38. The salt shaker is never empty.
39. There is never an argument about whose turn it is to take out the trash.
40. There is never an argument, a lover's spat, a little misunderstanding, or an all out war. Silence is bliss.
41. You never have to worry about choosing the wrong gift, they are all for you.
42. You are always in the perfect mood, because you are the only one who has to judge your mood.
43. The door is never left ajar.
44. The windows are never left open in the downpour of rain.
45. The sunroof is never accidentally left open.
46. You can always find your car keys.
47. No one ever knows if you lost the button on your pants and used a safety pin in its' place. And us struggle zipperers, no one will know.
48. There is never any watercooler talk about the nag at home-at least not for you. That's right look at 'em all while you laugh and walk away.
49. You are the mystery woman, with the mystery home.
50. And, you always have the decision to re-open the door. Or, buy a deadbolt.
Bonus: Choices, they are always, all your's.