7 ESSENTIALS TO A PRE-DRINK

 

A successful launch means everything.  Just ask the folks involved with the Challenger.  The pre-drink is the launching pad for a memorable evening.  It's where strangers become friends, forties are crushed, inebriation is embraced, and where your odds of tagging that curvalicious blonde are determined.  The success of the pre-drink is vital to your reputation.  If you are hosting one, failure is not an option you want floating around.  Here's how to ensure you don't become the Mr. Rogers of the neighborhood:

 

1) A manageable guy-to-girl ratio:  1-to-1 is ideal here, and if you're able to make it 0.5-to-1 or better - congrats, Casanova.  Realistically, there will be more guys than girls.  2-to-1 needs to be your goal.  Please remember that a pre-drink of all guys is not a pre-drink.  It is a gathering of males to watch a sporting event.  If you are having that new special girl in your life over to meet the lads and she is bringing some of her friends to ease the transition, get firm numbers from her, and make sure the 2-to-1 ratio occurs.  Anything less turns your pre-drink into a cluster of blind dates, and that can only spell one thing - awkward.

 

2) Have a deck of cards, and/or plastic cups on hand:  You've all heard of "Ride the bus," "King's cup," "beer pong," and "flip cup."  These are staple drinking games that add to the enjoyment of everyone at your pre-drink.  We tend to lean towards pong or flip cup, but only because competitiveness helps in the bonding process.  If the guest list at your pre-drink is a bit excessive, we stress the importance of playing flip cup.  It'll get everyone involved, and you'll all get to laugh and stare at the cute brunette that pours half her drink on her white cocktail dress. 

 

3) A 40 ouncer of Vodka to be shared, a large jug, and a package of Crystal Light:  Perhaps you are a baller, and feel comfortable with purchasing a 60.  If so, we commend your fiscal capabilities.  We realize you are not hosting a kegger, but providing a little bit of booze will go a long way in proving your ability to party.  It also coincides with Element # 2.  Vodka is the universal drink, and when mixed with Crystal Light, what you have is the Cool-Aid recipe for a good time.  We're not saying finish off your forty, though.  What we're saying is you want to make the first jug of drinks for pong or flip cup, and than let some other sap pick up the slack after you.  Also, having the bottle on hand gives you a rebuttal to some girl saying, "but I'm all out of booze back at your house" come the end of the evening.

 

4) A sporting event or the Victoria Secret Fashion Show you TiVOed:  This may appear counterproductive, since a major goal of your pre-drink is to impress girls.  But if you’ve never heard of playing hard-to-get, you shouldn’t even be reading this.  Females know they’re there to be hit on and gawked at.  By passing on these acts for a few moments to watch Crosby go shelf where Mama keeps the jam, you are increasing the greatest equalizer between a man and woman – her insecurities.  Maybe there’s no game on?  You’re a man, right?  You still have The VSFS on your TiVO.  Toss it on and remember: insecurities equal advantage you.

 

5) Wear a plain t-shirt and a pair of fitted jeans.  If you’re athletic enough, wear sweatpants:  The destination for the evening is usually set even before the pre-drink, but plans change.  Being a Chameleon, you need to adapt.  You don’t want to be the guy decked out in dressy jeans and an oversized blazer standing in a pub with a Keith’s.  You’d be trying too hard.  Analyze the attire of both the males and females attending your pre-drink.  If the ladies are defining class for the evening, one up the lads (we recommend tight jeans, a fitted blazer over a designer t-shirt, or skip the blazer and stick with a fitted dress shirt that doesn’t scream douche when you have it untucked.  If you think you can rock it, dawn a fedora.).  On the opposite end of the spectrum, the ladies may be looking fairly laid back.  We’re talking jeans and a cute, fitted t-shirt or tank top.  If this is the case, rock a plain pair of fitted jeans, complimented by either a plain white, grey, or black t-shirt.

 

6) Clean shot glasses for everyone attending:  So, you’ve called the cabs, and your buddy is gathering the drunken crew.  You need to gather the girls in the kitchen.  Why?  Shots!!!  Remember that forty you bought?  Use it.  Vodka is too strong for the female clan?  Make a potent batch of Crystal Light and vodka.  Yell at the lads to join in, but do not wait more than 2 minutes.  Pay attention to the lasses.  Toast to the evening, and hammer back your shots.  It’s the jet fuel for your launch.

 

7)    Prepare a playlist that can keep the party going.  Personally, I enjoy the wonders of a Coldplay track.  But I’m smart enough to realize the lads from Britain don’t create the type of magic you need for a pre-drink.  Here’s 10 that do:

 

1)     Tonight by Enrique Iglesias Feat Ludacris:  There’s no insinuation in Mr. Iglesias’ lyrics.  He just comes right out and says it.  Embrace his confidence.

2)      Beat That Beat by Paulie D:  Not everyone will enjoy this one, but that’s the point.  It sparks debate.  Some people will love the show, while others will claim never to have seen a clip (LIARS!).  At the end of it all, however, you will start talking about J-Wow’s outfits, and what’s wrong with that?

3)      Barbara Streisand by Duck Sauce:  It’s catchy.  It’s stupid.  It’s techno.  Why not?

4)      Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake:  This man’s lyrics are a universal form of female lubricant.  Take advantage.  You don’t want to be lubing alone later on.

5)      Anything and Everything David Guetta:  How many times have you heard, “the new hit with blah blah blah featuring David Guetta” or vice versa?  ‘Nough said.

6)      Anything and Everything Tiesto:  Dido.

7)      I Like to Move it Move it by Reel 2 Reel:  Because everyone loved that cute monkey from Madagascar bringing this gem out of the old school and into the new.  And because she’ll be thinking about that cute monkey, and that’s a start towards your cute monkey.

8)      Mr Vain by Culture Beat:  You know this simple fact, but that guy you had to invite that really annoys you doesn’t – this isn’t the song from the Night at the Roxbury.  It may sound like it, but it’s not.  Point this out after he starts bobbing his head like a wannabe actor, and BAMM – you earned yourself alpha male status.

9)      Carry on My Wayward Son by Kansas:  You know those slumber parties you’ve heard all chicks take part in?  The ones where they practice kissing and have pillows fights in their underwear?  Yeah, they play this song on those nights.  Bring out the same uninhibited behavior in her. 

10)  Don’t Stop Believing by Journey:  You will play this while slugging back those shots we touched on earlier.  And if you can’t believe in yourself and the good night to come, you shouldn’t be going out at all.

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