A Christmas Wish For Mom

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It has been two Christmases and 16 months since God called you home. Each day has been a challenge and with it came good days and bad days. They say time heals all broken hearts, but my heart is so empty. Sometimes I wish the Christmas music would go away along with the laughter. When there is a daughter and a mother in a car sitting right next to mine, I often wonder how this Christmas would be if you were here. Listening to songs on the radio, it takes me back to a time when you were with us, shopping each store for that special present.

Your laughter and smile filled the air. If something was needed you were always there. A strong woman you were and made us who we are today. Weeks before you passed away, you said I would be alright. Questioning that for sometime it made me realize I would grow stronger. So much has happened since you went away. There were days, I could not go on. Crying myself to sleep like a small young girl, dreaming that you were here, only to wake up and realize you were gone.

The Bible says that when we die, we do not go directly to heaven. I accept this, but it also says we go to another place until Christ comes. Sometimes I think I hear you or feel your presence, I will not discredit anything that surrounds me. My actions I have learned from you and my beliefs in mankind I thank you for. There are those who believe being to kind will get you into trouble, but those are things that I cannot change.

As the months go by, you are not forgotten. When I touch my heart, I feel you. When I look at my eyes I see you. I know you are there. This Christmas we are going to rejoice in your life and not your death. We are going to celebrate the memories and not think about the sadness. We will sing Christmas Carols and not sit in darkness.We will watch movies and eat popcorn. We will fumble through pictures and remember your laughter. We will bake your favorite cookies and use your special bowls.

Mom the Christmas wish we have for you, is to let you know all of us are doing okay. We miss you deeply and you are not forgotten. We will cherish the moments we have here on Earth and make more memories before we see you again. Your heart and spirit are with us and we will once again rise from the ashes and make you proud of us. Rest assured since God is allowing you to rest, we will be fine. All of it just takes time a person cannot be rushed after suffering a loss. Each person is different so we need to always be patient. I don't know if I can truly get passed the pain, but we can be the daughter's you raised us to be. We love you mom, so this Christmas we wish you peace and plenty of rest until we see you again.

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Comments 24 comments

Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland

I wish you the happiest possible holidays knowing mom is watching over you. {{hug}}


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago

Ohhh! AEvans! A piece from your heart! She is resting and as you said, she will be happy if we remember her with joy and the spirit inside of us. God bless you and life goes on!..((hugs))

LORD


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

Life can be tough. and memories may be what keep one going, prayers always help and you know your Mom is watching over you everyday, making you strong. God Bless her and you ...this was a beautiful writing...I am close to losing my mom right now, but God has not taken her yet...93 and alzheimer disease and she still teaches me each day...God be with you...:O) Hugs G-Ma


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK

I agree with Ardie - your wonderful mum must be looking over you with so much love.

I hope the Festive Season is a lovely one for you and family. May the peace of God comfort you.

Best Wishes

Elena


AEvans profile image

AEvans 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Ardie: She really is.:)

lord decross: She is resting and we need to remember her with love in our hearts. :)

G-ma Johnson: She does watch over me, in all that I do. Thank you for the hugs. God is still blessing you. :)

Lady_E: It will be better this year, because mom would be disappointed if it wasn't. Merry Christmas to you too! :0


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 4 years ago from London, UK

No, I don't think either that broken hearts mend. You just to learn to live with your loss. I still miss my mum and in someway more so today. She died 27 years ago.


Phyllis Doyle profile image

Phyllis Doyle 4 years ago from High desert of Nevada.

This is such a wonderful message to your Mother. How precious and deeply loving. My Mother just passed last week and my sisters and brothers and I are close and giving each other the support and hugs so needed. Christmas will be tough to get through without Mother, but we know she is with us in spirit. Thank you for sharing this message.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Hello,hello: Gathering stories from others. It is a painful journey, it has been an empty feeling but we will get through.:)

Phyllis Doyle: I am so sorry to hear about your mom, my heartfelt sympathy. It is so hard when you lose your mother. ((Big Hugs))


prairieprincess profile image

prairieprincess 4 years ago from Canada

AEvans, this is beautiful. I got chills when I was reading because it is real and from the heart. I lost my Mom ten years ago, in March. I understand the pain of it, and my heart goes out to you. ((Hugs))

It is so hard to lose your Mom. It sounds like you were very close to her, and I understand about her feeling close. When my Mom passed, I used to dream about her constantly. I don't know what it meant but I know I wasn't ready to let go yet, and it was very comforting. God knows our hearts and what we need, even in the area of grief. He is near to the broken-hearted. Bless you this Christmas.


Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank 4 years ago from California Gold Country

Yes, I understand, too. I think there is nothing that quite compares to losing your mom, when you have had a close loving relationship. My mom died on New Year's Eve-- or new Year's Day in a hospital after a "succesful" knee replacement surgery.

The holidays always bring some tears for me.

We expected to have her for several more years--- but that was 14 years ago, and I still miss her terribly.

It does get a little easier, and I try to remember that she always wanted me to be happy, not grieving.

It's not easy, but it's something we get through.

Best thoughts to you.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

You never truly lose someone you love. They will always be there with you, watching you, protecting you. You may not be able to see them, they are there just the same. My heart goeas out to you.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

prairieprincess: I to dreamed about my mom for a long time. Mom and I were very close and sometimes I still think I hear her call my name. I know it sounds nuts, but I swear she is there. I talk about her often, which makes things a little easier, but there will always be an emptiness in my heart that will never be filled. I know you understand that. ((Big Hugs to you)) :)

Rochelle Frank: I am sorry to hear about the loss of your mom also. I am glad that it will get easier and I know that you also realize the emptiness too. What is comforting is knowing that all of us have had this experience and we can share with each other. ((Big Hugs)) to you through the holidays too. :)

KoffeeKlatchGals: You made me smile on that one. I will hold onto to those thoughts. :)


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

this is so beautiful I am crying.. thank you from the bottom of my heart...


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

AEvans I wake up and hear my Mom calling me.. she has done it three times since she has been gone.I am so amazed..I love her so much.. Every once in a while I will pick up the phone to call her..then I start crying...


AEvans profile image

AEvans 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Deborah Brooks: You are welcome! :)

Deborah Brooks: I know how you feel. Honestly I cannot wait until Christmas is over. :(


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas

My dad has been gone for four years this past September. I still remember the last time I saw him in good health. It was summer and I was home for a brief visit. He walked me out to the car to say goodbye as I headed back to Texas. As I started the car, he turned and walked back toward the house, took a few steps, and turned back to wave at me once again. At that moment, I wanted to stop the car and go back just to stay a while longer. I didn't but that image keeps coming back as if he continues to say goodbye. I find comfort in it and you will find those little moments with your mom in your memory that will do the same for you. Cherish them and as you say, celebrate their life and the time they were with you. There is no finer tribute to their memory. Thanks for sharing. WB


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 4 years ago from Nashville Tn.

It is going on 4 years since my son Todd passed away. It hurts so much to think about him. I do not give myself that thought but instead occupy my mind with whatever I need to. I do so love your hub, dear AEvans. Christmas is so hard. I would give anything to see Todd again. Your precious, dear Mother is not far from you. I am so terribly sorry. I am sending you a giant hubHug. Blessings to you, dear AEvans.

vocalcoach~


Jlbowden profile image

Jlbowden 4 years ago from Long Island, New York

Hello AE:

You know your article that you wrote in remembrance of your mom, touches the inner heart itself, as well as the soul. It literally brought tears to my eyes. And in fact a tear drop or two landed on my keyboard, as I read on further. I thought guys were not supposed to cry, but it's hard to hold back tears after reading about your mom here. My mom is still with us this christmas, even though she is getting up there in age. Being an only child in my family, I know when it is time for her to pass from this world into that of a much better one. I will surely not only miss her, but will be broken hearted to say the least. It is good that you have other siblings to share her passing with during these special times, so the burden does not fall totally upon you. I wish you much happiness now and for all the future christmas holidays to come. And try to remember that your mom has not left you totally, she is watching over you, from a distance. Just as our maker keeps a watchful eye on all of his children here on earth, until than, our time comes as well.

Jl


Jlbowden profile image

Jlbowden 4 years ago from Long Island, New York

Hi Jul:

Was so caught up in your article, I forgot to mention that I thought it not only to be awesome, but very beautiful as well and voted it up. Sometimes I tend to babble too much and almost forgot to vote. Guess that is a trait that us writer's tend to develop sometimes. And try to have a nice holiday, as hard a your prior lost may have been. You still owe it to yourself. And beides your mom and the man upstairs would want it that way. :) Take care.

Jim


AEvans profile image

AEvans 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Wayne Brown: I remember you sharing your story about your dad. It is hard when we lose them. Sometimes I wish I could go back and just do a few things so differently, but realize it is not in God's plan. Thank you for understanding.

VocalCoach: I also remember what you wrote about Todd. My mom always said losing a parent is one thing, but losing a child would be another. My grandmother buried my aunt before she passed and could not imagine what she went through. My heart goes out to you to because although months and years can pass, there is always an emptiness that one cannot explain.

JlBowden: Its ok to babble, I babble too! lolo! With your mom, embrace, cherish the moments and love her like it is her last. I miss my mom so much, I still cannot read "A Love Letter to My Mother." without crying. I wrote that on her last Valentine's day before she passed. I can still see here tears streaming down her face, when I read it out loud to her as I published the hub.


justateacher profile image

justateacher 4 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

I, too, have gone through my second Christmas without my mom. I hear her voice when no one is around. I see her shadows. I know she is around watching me, but I want to be able to call her - to touch her and hug her. I hear it gets better...I am still waiting....


AEvans profile image

AEvans 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

justateacher: I am still waiting too. I don't know if it gets better,only time can tell. I see my mom to and people think I am nuts. I feel your pain, I want to hug my mom, laugh with her and share with her all of my joy and sorrows. We will see what this year brings maybe, just maybe it will get better.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

This is such a beautiful, heartfelt piece. It has been six holidays without my Mom and yes, I miss her all the time. But it does get easier. You may be interested in reading a few pieces I wrote. One is Dimes From Heaven and the other is Not Everyone is Merry This Christmas. Wishing you the best - thanks for sharing your Christmas wish.

Sharyn


AEvans profile image

AEvans 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Sharyn's Slant: I will definitely go and read. I am glad you gave me positive reassurance. :)

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