Alone For Valentine's Day, But Not Lonely

Valentine's Day is an important day for retailers and greeting card moguls, but not so much for me. It is supposed to be the day that we celebrate our love ( and lust) for one another, but as we have done for so many of the other celebrations in our lives, we have made it about presents. If you are not one in this category, then please disregard. I plan on taking advantage of the after Valentine's Day sales and buying myself some chocolate, because I deserve it. I have had a very rough year and I am still here, still smiling, and still grateful for the people that are still in my life. I am also a little grateful that certain others are not. I have always believed that one should do everything possible to make a relationship work. This year, I learned that there comes a time to stop trying. When the relationship is so unhealthy that one is in a constant state of misery, it is time to quit. When friends no longer recognize you and wonder how you could be so stupid, it is time to quit. When you realize that the more you try, the worse you get treated, it is time to quit. So, six months ago, I quit. This Valentine's Day I will be alone, but the difference is that, I am happy. I was also alone last year, although I shouldn't have been. That was a big, red flag. If there were someone special in my life, I would acknowledge the day with a card and a small token gift, because I know how it feels to be ignored. Other than that, I hope that I am able to show my love all year long.

Better Days

Wasn't He Cute?
Wasn't He Cute?

Special Gifts

Unless you plan on using the occasion to ask for her hand in marriage, forget the diamond rings. Instead, buy her a nice pair of earrings to wear out to dinner. If she likes to shop, buy her a gift card to her favorite store. Give her a day at the spa or a massage certificate. Give her one night that the sex is all about her. Believe me, she will appreciate it. Turn off your cell phone for the night and leave the television off. Farm the kids out and give her your undivided attention. In short, let her know that you are glad to be with her and the rewards that you will reap will be endless.

Valentine's Day doesn't have to expensive. I will take thoughtful over expensive any day. If you know that she loves Beatles memorabilia, add to her collection. Someone once gave me a picture of myself and John Lennon together. Even though I knew it was photo shopped, I loved it. Another gift that I still have after many years, is a print of Van Gogh's "Starry Night". Plan ahead and let your gift reflect how well you know her. After all, all she really wants is you!

My Love

So, as I said, I will be alone this Valentine's Day, but not lonely. I have good people in my life and the ones that were causing me pain are gone. I have a new appreciation for myself and others and I am learning to love myself. I will, however, accept warm Valentine's Day greetings from whomever wants to send them. Most of all, I will remember that one day I will find the one that I should be with and I will be loved well.

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Comments 15 comments

alexandriaruthk profile image

alexandriaruthk 7 years ago from US

hi thanks janie I will also link this hub, wonderful suggestions the nice pair of earrings,

janiek13 profile image

janiek13 7 years ago from Florida's Space Coast Author

Thanks, I am glad that you liked it. Thanks for linking, also.

Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 7 years ago from United States

Janiek, There is grief when a relationship ends but such freedom when you are out of the misery. It feels better to be alone and happy when you've been in a relationship that was failing over a long period of time. At least that is my experience. Good hub.

janiek13 profile image

janiek13 7 years ago from Florida's Space Coast Author

Yes, it is, especially when the other person was mentally abusive.

nancy_30 profile image

nancy_30 7 years ago from Georgia

Great hub. I'm with you, I would rather have a thoughtful gift. It means the person really knows and loves you.

janiek13 profile image

janiek13 7 years ago from Florida's Space Coast Author

so very true, thank you for reading, Nancy.

carolina muscle profile image

carolina muscle 7 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

I hope you have a great Valentines day!

kiwi gal profile image

kiwi gal 7 years ago

Have a great valentines day. Good things happen when least expected and someone will come along when you least expect it so hang in there. Good hub.

janiek13 profile image

janiek13 7 years ago from Florida's Space Coast Author

Thank you, Carolina and Kiwi, I appreciate the good wishes and kind thoughts. I hope the same for both of you.

tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 7 years ago from South Africa

Hope your Valentine's Day is great - I would give you a great big hug if I were closer (I'm a big hugger!). Also hope you do find that special someone soon so your next Valentine's Day will not find yo9u alone again!

Love and peace


janiek13 profile image

janiek13 7 years ago from Florida's Space Coast Author

That's very sweet! I will accept a virtual hug. Hope this day finds you and your family doing well.

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mdawson17 7 years ago

This is a great hub!

Last year I was at fault for doing the same as your better half.

I was caught up at work (out of town) and failed to even call my wife and wish her a happy Valentines Day! When I realized that the day had come and gone; I tried to make up for it by sending her roses and candy however it was not candy and flowers that she wanted; all my wife wanted was to know that I loved her and was thinking about her on that very special love day!

It was last year that I had decided that on every Valentines day from now on it would be reserved for me to show her my love to my wife and that no matter what may be on my agenda it would have to wait!

I am sorry that this year has been so very hard on you! I too am sending you a virtual hug and truly say Happy Valentines day!


janiek13 profile image

janiek13 7 years ago from Florida's Space Coast Author

Thank you! I am sure that everything happens for a reason and most days I am content. I appreciate the hug.

Aekateryna profile image

Aekateryna 7 years ago

I also agree that a relationship should be ended if at least one of the partners feels that it has become like a burden. For me, ST. Valentine is very much a commercial holiday so, I'm not planning to celebrate it in any way.

janiek13 profile image

janiek13 7 years ago from Florida's Space Coast Author

Everything is a little too commercial, but what can you do? Have a happy Valentine's Day, anyway.

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