Inexpensive Redneck Gift: A Wall Calendar

Calendars? For Rednecks? I realize you might be a little confused, but let me assure you, rednecks like calendars. And just to be clear, I'm talking about the redneck men on your list.

Most of the redneck men I know have their own "space", whether it is a barn, a garage or a basement. It's a place they hang out with their buddies, drink beer, watch tv (specifically, The Race, NASCAR that is) and do guy things we'd probably rather not think about.

Sometimes, especially during The Race, or when the guys are trying to impress us with their grilling skills, us girls are allowed into their space, and I'm here to tell you, they all have wall calendars.

This is not to say that redneck men go shopping and purchase their own calendars. They don't. Sometimes the calendars are freebies from the local Chevy dealer or their insurance representative. But the guys are quick to replace the freebies when someone gives them a nice calendar, suited to their tastes.

A NASCAR themed calendar is always a safe bet. If you know your redneck's favorite driver, all the better! But if not, stick with one of the many general themes - Tracks of Nascar, Stars of NASCAR and NASCAR Pets are just a few of the possibilities.

Beer themed calendars also make a good choice. Again, if you know their favorite, that's the way to go. Most rednecks won't mind a Vintage Budweiser calendar, and the Beer Games calendar will do if you can't decide on a brand.

You might think the obvious choice would be something from Jeff Foxworthy, and you are probably right that "You Might Be a Redneck If...." will bring a few chuckles. I'm not so sure about "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader." Select at your own risk.

A word of caution about girlie calendars. Yeah, the guys are gonna like 'em, but the wives won't! Don't do naked girls, or even half-naked pinups. It's just a bad idea. Unless the redneck on your list is absolutely single, and even then, be prepared for the calendar to disappear if he happens to end up in a relationship before the year is out.

An exception might be Gretchen Wilson's Redneck Woman calendar. I think the wives will like that one too.

Copyright Dineane Whitaker 2008 - Please do not copy and paste this article, but feel free to post a link using this url:

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Comments 6 comments

William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey 8 years ago from South Valley Stream, N.Y.

I endorse your recommendation of a good calendar, dineane, but I'm sorry to report that it's just a little bit too late for me. My annual Bing Crosby calendar from the International Club Crosby came in the mail to me just today! I'll bet my friend and former co-worker at The Hour newspaper writes a regular column covering auto racing, however, and I'd guess he has one of those calendars on his wall. It's definitely a good gift idea for the ladies to consider.

DonnaCSmith profile image

DonnaCSmith 8 years ago from Central North Carolina

I think we (you, Deborah and I) are on the way to writing our own Redneck Book. How about, "The Guide to Living With A Redneck and Friends."

dineane profile image

dineane 8 years ago from North Carolina Author

Thanks for your endorsement, William...I have to say I don't know many rednecks who would be thrilled to hand a Bing Crosby calendar, but I wouldn't mind having one ;-)

I don't know, Mama, that title makes it sound like we aren't rednecks ourselves!

myslykemeeh profile image

myslykemeeh 7 years ago from Canada

Yeah, the wives would detest it. But surely husbands would love it.

Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

I can't believe there's a Nascar Pets calendar.  That's hysterical!  What?  Do they have pictures of the driver's pets or something?  Anyway, funny hub!  Glad I stopped in!

dineane profile image

dineane 7 years ago from North Carolina Author

Yes, Christoph, the Pets of Nascar - too funny, isn't it? I'm glad you stopped by too! My Amazon capsule with the Nascar stuff had stopped working, so you made me look and fix it :-)

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