Christmas Mourning

No Christmas tree nor any decorations. Is it December 25th yet?

As I look at the neighbors lights and decorations, I feel a lonesome chill.

No I didn't spell the title wrong.

I am mourning and will be on Christmas morning.

Why is she gone already? We had so many plans and ideas.

I feel like I have entered a vacuum that will not let me go.

So many tell me to call them when I am feeling this way, but when I call, it seems they find a reason to get me off the phone as soon as possible.

Do I blame them? No.

Who, in their right mind, would want to talk with someone feeling negative vibes when Christmas is here? Christmas is about fun and being happy. Froggy is neither fun nor happy this Christmas of the year 2010.

After all the stress, heartache, and costs of my wife's death, I cannot even buy 1 present. I know not how long I will have the internet or even a house to live in.

Many tell me God is near, but I feel Him not.

Many tell me if I talk to Jonda she will give me comfort through Jesus.

I feel no comfort, and there is no joy.

Whoops, I take that back as little Elijah is yelling for his Paw-Paw. He is joy; my Grandson brings me joy.

I wonder if there are wagers being made on how much Froggy can take before he snaps. Well to be honest, I don't think I have enough ummph in me to snap.

Now please don't take me wrong, I am not denying God. He has kept me and made me what I am. I am questioning the meaning in all of this.

First he allowed my grandson to be killed. He allowed people to grind my reputation to a stump. He allowed our home to burn. He has allowed my wife to die at 49 years old.

I am not perfect, but I pray and read the Word a lot. Why does He allow Satan to stomp and beat us so? Can't we have a break?

Better yet God, I think I'm ready--can I come home and be with Jonda and Jonathan?

I then hear the Words

WHAT ABOUT ELIJAH, PEYTON, GIANNA--THE OTHER GRANDCHILDREN YOU HAVE? THEY NEED A PAWPAW TOO. JONDA AND JONATHAN HAVE ME- THEY NEED YOU!


Oh Father, please forgive me. To question you was wrong and I am sorry. Please God, I ask your guidance and mercy. I ask that Your Hand guides me. I know that if I try to do it on my own, I will fail. Only by Your Grace I hereby claim the Blood of the Most Holy Lord Jesus Christ on myself and any that come in contact with me. I ask that You Father God, and only You are in complete control over our lives and that Your mercy and loving kindness will "trump" any other forces that may go against Your Will. I thank You oh merciful Father for every second you allowed me to spend with my love. I thank You for every blessing here with me on Earth now. I love you God. IN JESUS NAME!! AMEN

Misperceptions

You know who is lord of misperception? Satan is.

Many people will read the first part of this hub and I will hear rumors of " he's losing it" or "I'm worried about him".

Why would they think I'm gonna lose it now? Satan---the father of misperception.

Why worry? That is what Satan wants. Guess what people--God is with me, I know it at all times, but you see, there is so much sin and evil in this world--that He cannot look down upon nor get involved with.So for those that say there couldn't be a God because He wouldn't allow it, think twice. His Word in the first Book explains it when Adam ate the one thing he wasn't supposed to. Sin, evil, death, sickness all snowballed from that one act.

It is time for the other snowball to shine forth from the act that will overcome Adam's act. God allowing His Son to become man and take all upon Himself on a old wooden Cross in the land of milk and honey. Without sin He died and was resurrected defeating all manner of evil. All Jesus asks is your love and worship. Not a tough thing.

I have watched people of God step up. Today, a very sweet lady from our church came and watched Elijah for us on very short notice so I could go to a job interview. A good friend of mine gave me a bunch of meat and another a freezer. All these people are people of God. I can't leave out the others. People have been led to help in one way or another and prayer is the most important one.

That is the key! More God in the world=more good in the world.

More Devil in the world=more evil.

It's really simple. JESUS---the Son of God died to set you free from all sin. Claim the free gift, it is Christmas and Christ is the one giving the gift.

I am asking one thing. That every lover of Christ get on your knees at 8am USA CST on Sat December 25th--Christmas day.

That we all ask for favor and mercy on the world and that His light will shine and Satan will be destroyed. That man and woman will love and have mercy on other man and woman. That hate would be no more. Let God's Love shine out from all. In and through Jesus and by His name we pray. AMEN!

To find your time on Christmas day to coincide with ours here in Missouri you can use the link below. Let's all stand together; no kneel together in a prayer against evil. Do it for the One who hung on a cross for you, what will you do for Him?

© G.L. Boudonck

© 2010 Greg Boudonck

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Comments 12 comments

rkhyclak profile image

rkhyclak 5 years ago from Ohio

This hub fits perfect for me right now as well. My grandfather died on December 14th in 1993. My uncle died on December 8th of this year and my grandmother died on December 12th of this year. I'm trying so hard not to question Him, but I slip at moments and feel positively sorry for myself. Thanks for such a great hub :)


Froggy213 profile image

Froggy213 5 years ago from On A Mountain In Puerto Rico Author

I'm glad it helped hon--We are still warriors here and must not let death win.


Ken R. Abell profile image

Ken R. Abell 5 years ago from ON THE ROAD

Thank you for sharing straight from your heart. Peace, blessings & much encouragement to you in this time of sorrow. Know that despite all our doubts & questions that never get answered, God is still on the throne. One day, sometimes one hour at a time, minute by minute.

Voted up & useful.


phatface 5 years ago

I'll humbly kneel with You on Christs Birthday and call on the Power of our Lord God.

Thanx for sharing this, Bro.

Sincerely,

phat


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

You need to go at your own speed Froggy, and your heart's just not into it this year. But hopefully you will spend time with family and friends and judging by this Hub, your friends are here for you..as well as your Hub Friends.


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 5 years ago

There are no words that I can say to console you. Nothing that IO will write will make it just. I can only pray you get through this quickly. I am glad that your grandchildren are your support and life.

For them try to cheer up, for them try to live life to the fullest. Children pick up on sadness very quickly. Try to let Christmas morning be as exciting for the children as possible.

This is to wish you with all the greetings for this season and every other season.

Whatever the faith, religion or belief, united we stand as human beings celebrating each and every happy occasion that may come along our way.

*Merry Christmas* & a *Happy New Year*!!


Kaie Arwen profile image

Kaie Arwen 5 years ago

Froggy ~ I haven't been doing very much hopping around here on Hubpages lately; I am sincerely sorry for your loss............ you've had far too many losses! God bless you this Christmas........... I say a prayer for you. You are never really alone............ remember that! Kaie


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 5 years ago from Houston, Texas

So very sorry to hear about your losses and I can understand your mourning. I am still mourning the loss of my sweet mother this year. That second video is so wonderful. Going to send this hub to several people who I think will draw some comfort from it as I did. Thanks and Merry Christmas and wishing for you a much better year ahead. Hang on to the comfort of your family and friends. May God bless you!


Cheryl 5 years ago

Awesome. A very inspiring and touching hubpage on Christmas Mourning. We all need more Jesus in our life. Thanks for sharing. Great videos.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

I am sorry you have lost your wife. I pray you will be comforted. It has been a rough few years for you. Still, your message is one of hope. God Bless You.


lisadpreston profile image

lisadpreston 5 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

Froggy, this is so sad. I would have already snapped. If you need a place to stay, come stay with us. We are all crazy so you would fit right in. You are my friend and I don't have much but you are always welcome. The grandkids can come too.


Froggy213 profile image

Froggy213 5 years ago from On A Mountain In Puerto Rico Author

Lisa, things are getting a little better--thank you so much, I would love to meet you someday.

Thanks my friend

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