Easter Bunny Leftovers

Cuddle or cook?
Cuddle or cook? | Source

In the United States, in November, there is a huge build up to Thanksgiving. I don't think it has anything to do with being thankful, but instead it has to do with the turkey. Most people cook a whole turkey once a year at Thanksgiving, and maybe on occasion at Christmas. Afterward, what to do with the leftover turkey becomes an industry upon itself.

It made me wonder, so what happens to the Easter Bunny?

Just like in November, April offers the same kind of build up to Easter. While it is a religious event, just looking in any pharmacy or department store tells you just how commercialized it is. One of the more famous commercials is the Cadbury bunny laying an egg. At first, I thought this was ridiculous, but then maybe not. Marketers are smart people. Nothing happens by accident, so if a bunny laying a chocolate egg makes sense, and makes money, then it's probably right in their marketing world.

For those not familiar with Easter, let me be very clear. We do not eat Easter Bunnies. We don't grill and marinate them. We don't cook them in a stew. We don't smoke them out back on  seasoned hickory. We do not eat Easter Bunnies. But as I traversed the many layers of Peeps, pastel eggs, plastic green grass, and baskets, in the stores,  I wondered.

What if we did eat bunnies on Easter?

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After a quick search on Google, I came to realize that Americans, in cities and rural areas do eat rabbits. In fact, it seems as though North America has at least half of the world's rabbit population. Urban rabbit farms have sprouted up in cities like New York. In fact, the same search revealed that nearly every state in the United States has multiple rabbit farms designated for processing rabbits for food.

So it seems that the infrastructure is there. There are plenty of rabbits around and apparently plenty of people eating them. But, why not on Easter?

Let's take a leap of faith for a moment. If we follow the standard set by turkeys on Thanksgiving, then the following might be true of rabbits.

  • People would buy them cleaned and fresh or frozen at a local supermarket
  • Supermarkets would offer plump rabbits for free if you hit a certain number of dollars spent prior to Easter
  • Families would share recipes on how to cook the best baked rabbit
  • Some adventurous people, would try frying whole rabbit in a vat of oil in their garage, thus raising the insurance premium for all homeowners
  • PETA would have a yearly ethical treatment of rabbits day, which everyone would ignore
  • The President would pardon one Easter rabbit

So now it's Easter Sunday, everyone is back from church and dressed in their Sunday best clothes. The little girls have their bonnets while the young boys struggle with their clip on ties.

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They sit down to a table loaded with many spring dishes, like fresh and wild greens, rice pilaf, fresh fruits and vegetables, Easter pastel cupcakes, and finally a ten pound, stuffed, head still on, farm raised, meal rabbit, browned to perfection staring everyone in the face.

The site of the rabbit lying back on its haunches like a stuffed pig, with its front legs spread out in front like it wants to be petted, makes the children sick and they run to their rooms. For the next three weeks, you wake up to screams of your young children having nightmares about giant cooked rabbit.

So now what do you do with the rabbit?

Here are just a few suggestions.

  • Feed it to your cat or dog. They are not likely to be influenced by Cadbury or any other company commercializing rabbits for profit
  • Ground it up and use it as fertilizer for your plants and garden
  • If your near a bay area, use the remnants of your cooked rabbit for crab bait or eel bait
  • Cut it up and deep fry it in a coating of bread crumbs and tell your kids the following day it's a new kind of fried chicken
  • Throw it out and realize that rabbits are meant to be cuddled not cooked, then join PETA

I've never eaten rabbit. But I love Easter. After all the talk of sacrifice and resurrection during Holy Week, it might be best to stick with chicken for Easter Sunday.  

Would you cook and eat a bunny on Easter?

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Farmer Brown profile image

Farmer Brown 5 years ago

Tiny bones in the bunny - makes gnawing on these lagomorphs a bit difficult. Meat is tasty, though.

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