Famous New Year's Resolution Lists
Resolutions Through History
Having sat myself down recently to consider my own New Year's Resolutions,my mind began to wander and I wondered what might be the resolutions of some of the great figures in history.
Having access to the internet I discovered a number of interesting examples of such which I share with you here.
- cut Adam's hair and trim his beard.
- sew some curtains for the hut and maybe make some throw-pillows
- ask God to make the sky a little bluer and the stars brighter
- check out that tree--the one with the talking snake at the bottom. The apples look tasty and we need more fruit in our diet.
Shalmaneser III's List
- trade wife #3 in harem to King Sneferu of Egypt for a weed-wacker. Will come in handy on the 'hanging gardens of Babylon'.
- send spies to see what wife #17 is up to. I think she is giving the other girls ideas about forming a union. Fewer work hours, better perks and overtime for being lent-out to foreign dignitaries. Nip that in the bud !
- write an epic. Call it 'Gilgamesh'. Or maybe something catchier like 'Midnight Cowboy'.
- invade and conquer some neighboring regions before going on summer vacation.
- ask Christopher Marlowe for more ideas like that one he gave me for 'Hamlet'. Bribe him with ale if necessary.
- write more serious copy--maybe get into the existential themes and all that.
- get new hosiery--all of mine have gapping holes in them and when I bend over in Richard III I get whistles from the gallery.
ask the Queen to lower the taxes on The Globe if I write her some sonnets. If the taxes get any higher we will have to consider having a concession stand and selling popcorn and soft drinks to make up the difference.
Thomas Edison's List
- invent the light-bulb
- invent the movie camera
- invent the gramophone
- invent the car
- invent the computer
- invent web 2.0
[NB: may not get to everything this year]
Sarah Palin's List
- buy a new rifle with telescopic sight.
- practise saying 'you betcha' when I have no new ideas
- ask Bristol if she wants to try my blush-brush.
- tell Tina Fey that I want some royalties for giving her that "I can see Russia from my house" line.
On To My List...
Well enough wood-gathering. On to write my own New Year's Resolutions.
- write more Hubs?
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