Funny Valentine's Day greetings and ads

I will be taking a temporary hiatus from Hubpages in order to finish some other pressing work, but before taking off I wanted to leave readers with something a little special for the season. So I went through my collection of unusual cards and advertisements and came across some holiday-themed stuff I thought you might get a kick out of. I hope you enjoy them and I wish all of you a beautiful and loving Valentine's Day!

Greeting cards

This card is either three letters short of a tender message or the sender is one step away from calling a marriage counselor. I'll let you decide which.

I'll assume this sender's bunk buddies just don't do it for him any more...

You don't often come across sentiments with this depth of passion.

Is this an example of greeting card editor screw-up or is it just short on subtlety? I'm not sure.

The recipient of this one must be good at exhausting their lovers...or they tend to get creatively kinky with moving vehicles.

It's good to know the classic sentiments are still strong. But I suspect trying to live up to this sentiment may take divine assistance to carry out.

Valentine's Day advertisements

Now here's a novel gift idea for men...if they don't mind spending Valentine's Day sitting on a foam-filled doughnut.

And a gift idea for the wife who has everything except a good reason to stay married.

Nothing says I love you like a romantic getaway. And nothing says cheapskate like the wafting perfume of rotting garbage.

Yep, there's nothing better than taking an intimate holiday away from your own kids..unless it's holidaying with other people's kids.

I wonder if the amenities in this one include a free emergency room visit?

If you confuse paradise with a weekend at Church camp maybe, just maybe, it's time to buy a Webster's Dictionary.

Religious-themed ads

I don't need to wear my religious beliefs on my sleeve, but yeah, I can get behind this message.

Poor Brad! I don't know where he buys lingerie, but if the price tag on the teddy is as much as a stay at the hospital he really needs to do some comparative shopping. So I think the real message in this one may be foolhardy shopping choices destroy credit balances.

Romance-themed vacation ads

Ok, is it just me or does a glowing green building in the middle of a city ravaged by atomic bombing in the not-very-distant-past put a little damper on your tourist interest?

Without doubt, India is a beautiful land with an ancient, rich heritage...but after seeing this ad, you gotta wonder if the intention isn't actually to stave off tourism instead of welcome it?

Thankfully our cats already had their hearts set on Dollywood when they saw this one. Otherwise, I guess we'd be making a time-consuming trip to the passport office.

This Hub ©February 7, 2013 by Beth Perry

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Comments 12 comments

Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

Funny stuff! I love these especially since way too many people take V-Day too seriously. Voted up and shared!

Amanda108 profile image

Amanda108 4 years ago from Michigan, United States

HA, how funny! Thank you for the many laughs this hub gave. :-D

bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee Author

Hi Alecia! Thanks much and I'm glad you enjoyed :)

bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee Author

Amanda108, my pleasure! And thanks much for dropping in :)

Dont Taze Me Bro profile image

Dont Taze Me Bro 4 years ago from Tazeland Islands

lol UP

Sharkye11 profile image

Sharkye11 4 years ago from Oklahoma

This is excellent and hilarious! The vasectomy one is really disturbing. Talk about a bummer gift! But...Brad can learn a lesson from that! Once he is through mourning for his mother...yeah, those Abstinence Saves ads were always so bizarre!

Thanks for the great laugh, and I look forward to your return to HP!

bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee Author

Don't Taze Me Bro, thanks much!

bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee Author

Sharkye11,yeah that vasectomy one ain't a bit romantic is it? lol

I'm starting to wonder if the people who write those Abstinence ads aren't doing us all a big favor when they practice what they preach..the less they breed the less of them, you know?

Thanks much for dropping in. You take care now :)

Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

Thanks for the laugh.

savvydating profile image

savvydating 3 years ago

Where do you find all these crazy ads and cards? Didn't you just hate the India thing? What was that all about? So not sexy...

As always, you've done an excellent job catching our attention with your humourous quips. I was ready for a good laugh and you did not disappoint. Up & funny!

bethperry profile image

bethperry 3 years ago from Tennesee Author

Mhatter, my pleasure!

bethperry profile image

bethperry 3 years ago from Tennesee Author

savvydating, I like to collect wacky stuff like this, but am also blessed with some eagle-eyed friends that know I'll keep their names withheld.

I am so glad you enjoyed them. I'll check to see if I have enough for a new edition on the Valentines stuff.

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