Happy Birthday Laura
Tomorrow I will be 48. Forty-eight is no spring chicken. In two years I will be half a century in age. It's a daunting task to be me, let me tell you.
Many things have changed in almost half a century. I feel more aware of them as more things change and some of the things I liked to rely on disappear. I'm not going to start making a list, that's been done before and it's far too close to Christmas to start even thinking about lists for anything else.
Laura on Etsy
I don't look the same. When I think of myself I see the woman I was when I was about 30, I think. Now, I have grey hair, mostly in front the way my Grandmother had her grey hair. I colour mine. Tomorrow, on my birthday I'm getting it done again, fresh. At the age of 48 I'm beginning to think about letting it go and leaving it to grow in. But, not quite yet.
When I see my face in the mirror I don't look like someone who should be half a century (or close to it) in age. I still look like me. I don't look like a woman who should be having grey hair.
I'm actually pretty lucky, genetics, clean living your guess is as good as mine, I do look younger than I am. It's not just my own deluded thinking. People are always surprised at the number of years I've consumed in my life. It's nice to hear and nice to be inside the skin of the person hearing it. But, it's a bit freakish too. It makes me feel a bit out of place. Not that I want to change it. I'm feeling old enough not to want to look any older on the outside.
I am a dragon. Born in the year of the dragon, a wood dragon for those who know a bit about Chinese astrology. I love being a dragon. It's the only mythical creature in the Chinese zodiac, kind of an honour. I'm also Sagittarius, I want to teach the world to sing and then I wonder why they aren't all listening to me. What's wrong with you people?!
My name is Laura. Just as it says up there in the title. I like my name but I had to grow into it. It did take awhile. Now, I can't imagine having any other name. If I ever had children I might have given in to the idea of naming them after myself. It's hard to choose from all the other names which come in second place to Laura, my favourite now.
Laura is about winning and laurel leaves, the crown given to winners at the Olympic games in ancient Greece. At least that's what I remember when I read about my name a very long time ago, somewhere back in those 48 years.
You might know me if you grew up in Ontario I did move around a bit but mostly we went to school and had a house in Rouge Hills, a tiny area at the eastern edge of Toronto, in Ontario. Likely you don't know me at all. I don't mind. I tend to be quiet and I enjoy watching and listening more than putting myself out there socially. I'm an INTP we're kind of thinkers. Architects they say and I do love history and old buildings.
Anyway, this post is mainly for me. I'm feeling old you see. It's been taking up a lot of space in my mind this age thing this past year. I want it to stop. Usually I get a bit sad about birthdays that end with the #8 (like 28 and 38) but this one has been a bit too consuming. Birthdays should be a celebration of life. Of my life in this case. So, I'm taking back my birthday. Tomorrow, when it actually gets here.
Happy Birthday to me. Happy Unbirthday to everyone else who read this far without changing the channel.
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Christmas ASCII art created by ldb (me).
You have a birthday once a year, every year. Don't be in denial, be proud, celebrate yourself. Age really is just a number, it's all about how you FEEL. Choose to feel good.
ASCII art for birthdays. Even if it's your unbirthday.