Happy Birthday! Yeah Right ! Who am I kidding?

Hey Ho off we go

It started out fine, honestly, I got out of bed. So far so good, I ran the bath, got in and had a lovely long soak. Bliss. Then I got out. Shouldn't have. Should have stayed in there. It was warm soaky and lovely and safe. But no, I had to get out. Whoever put the soap in the dish on the floor is going to pay big time! How the hell was I supposed to see it down there? To be fair, I didn't exactly slip on it, it was more or a glide, a bump, and a great big yell, followed by the best swear words that even I, with my great range of encyclopedic knowledge of how to turn the air blue, was quite impressed with the range that flew out of my mouth and reverberated round the house. unfortunately I was the only person in the house. Nobody came to my rescue, nobody was there for me to take my naked, blue in the face, and lily white body, hopping around the bathroom, anger out on. Probably a good thing really. It wasn't something that would be forgotten in a hurry. Anyway, nursing my big toe, and hopping to the bedroom, I decided that counting to ten would be a good idea. Either that or throw the stupid soap bowl out of the window. I felt sorry for myself. I have to admit it. You know what I mean, you want to cry, laugh and swear at the same time.

It get's better and better.

I eventually got myself dressed, went downstairs and made some coffee. Stress free coffee, I might add as at that point everything seemed to have calmed down from my temper to my throbbing toe. Okay I thought, let's start again. Now at this point I was trying to forget that I had an appointment with the Nurse at the local Doctors surgery for my ear. This is going to sound really stupid, but bare with me please, I know there are lots of earplugs that are out there on the market, spongy ones, plastic ones, all sorts really, to stop having to listen to the SNORING THAT EMANATES FROM MY HOUSE IN THE NIGHT!! Sorry for shouting, but I am at my wits end trying not to kill someone. Anyway, I had this great idea. Why not put some tissue paper in my ears at night? Good huh? cheap and cheerful, easy to dispose of, what's the problem? Nobody told me that it would go hard as a rock, slide into the ear canal and get stuck against my eardrum, that's the problem. So here I was, sitting drinking my coffee, thinking about my big day. What lovely, special birthday presents were they going to buy me? Where were they going to take me? How the hell was the nurse going to get that great wad of TISSUE OUT OF MY STUPID BLOODY EAR? Sorry, did it again, didn't I? I am still feeling somewhat unstable. You must understand. My toe throbbed, it had started again, and so did my ear.

Oh the brains of the woman!

So while I was waiting for my big day to get going, I decided to dye my hair! Good eh? that will cheer me up, make me look glam, get rid of the grey hairs beginning to show at the roots. So of I trotted, or hopped, don't forget the toe, and got all the bits and bobs together to dye it. Luckily this went without to much of a problem. Well that was until just after I had dried it, it decided to be dark muddy blond instead of shiny summer glow. Great I thought, but at least it covered the grey. Still I thought, by the time I come back from the Nurse, get myself ready for my big birthday present surprises, and go to the local pub for a small, yes I said small, bevy of drinks, what me? drink a lot? what do you think I am?! I should be feeling rather chipper. So of I go at three o clock, down the road, around the corner, and into the Doctors. Now at this stage, I was feeling rather good. Soon I would be able to hear again, then I wouldn't look lopsided, I tend to lean to the left to try and hear people talking, I am sure they think I have cricked my neck, and the looks of sympathy turn to hilarity when I keep saying, A? What? can't hear ya!, Anyway where was I? Oh yeah, happy as a pig in s...t, sorry poo. I keep looking at the electric board that tells you when it is your time to go in, and when it flashed up my name, of I went all full of expectation. ' Please come in' said the nurse, 'how can I help you?' 'it;s my ear' said I. 'Okay, sit down and I will take a look', what did you do to it?' I told her. She looked at me. Now, I don't know if she thought that I was joking, or if I was just completely mad. Both seemed to fit me quite well.

'Okay, tip your head to one side, and I will put the water machine in and try and wash it out' she said. 'Oh no, not the cricked neck again' I thought, but i did it. 'um, this looks really blocked' she said 'What?' I replied. I couldn't hear her, I had a wad of tissue oh never mind...

Mr and Mrs Shrek! (or is that me?!!)

Bride of Shrek

A while later, after she had pulled my earlobe, poured a gallon and a half of water down my eardrum, well it felt like it! and completely managed to soak my shoulder, the towel kept slipping, she finally said ' The good news is that I have managed to retrieve the tissue, and please don't be stupid enough to do it again,' at this I looked sufficiently humbled, 'The bad news is that you have to apply this pad to your ear in case of infection, as it has scratched the eardrum', I looked at her in horror! You have got to be kidding me! I then looked over at the pad on the desk that she was planning to stick to the side of my head and realised to my horror that I was supposed to be going out drinking tonight! She saw my expression. 'well, if you must put tissue in your ear, what do you expect? NOT THIS, NO! My brain screamed. She placed it on my ear, and as my ears tend to be slightly pointed at the top, yeah I know, Spock, get called it all the time, so don't you start!, I realised with horror that I looked like Shrek! 'Oh great' I thought. fan bloody tastic! I tried to cover it as much as possible, but there is only so much you can do. I held my head down, mumbled thank you very much, and headed out the door. Now I won't bore you with the fact that after this, my series of events took in the fact that one, my brother decided he wanted to go shopping, and I walked down that high street, trying desperately to cover my head in the heat. which looked stupid in itself, two, when I got home, Jake had bought me a pair of jeans that didn't fit, and my son had completely forgotten, and three Da Dah, my friend suddenly decided that she couldn't go out after all! No, I know what you are thinking, she never saw my Shrek ear, she just phoned me! And I can tell ya, have you ever tried holding a phone to the 'wrong' ear, because you can't get near the 'good' one? nope? try it, it's a pain in the neck, or ear or something.

So my story ends ear, sorry here. A sore left big toe, a pair of jeans that don't fit, a son who has forgotten that I have birthdays, and an EAR THAT LOOKS LIKE AN ALIEN! Sorry, yelling again, can't hear you, sorry about that........!

Birthday ideas

If you want to give someone a special birthday then why not try out a few of these ideas?

We all love birthday presents but sometimes we also like to do something completely different. How about going to a fun fair? It doesn't matter how old you are, there is always something to do. Go back to your childhood for a few hours, it's so relaxing and great fun.

Does your partner ever get the chance to go and see a show? Why not take them to see the latest Andrew Lloyd Webber stage production, or if you like something a bit lighter, maybe take them to see a comedian and have a good laugh. That will certainly make for a happy birthday.

If you live near the beach, why not take them there for the day, and make it special by enjoying a food hamper filled with all your favourite nibbles, followed by champagne?

Ever thought of hiring a boat? A nice weekend on the river can be a really fun experience, and there are some great weekend deals for small cruisers out there.

These are just a few ideas, to get your mind thinking of new and exciting ways to make that birthday gift special. It doesn't always have to be a new pair of jeans! HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Oh, and don't forget the Birthday Cake!

More by this Author

Comments 87 comments

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

Beloved Nell,

Happy Birthday!!

You can always go back in time and redo the whole thing. This whole day...

Hugs from afar..I would love to have tea with you some day!! For your birthday today..then we can reminisce it together.

Much love,


tantrum profile image

tantrum 6 years ago from Tropic of Capricorn

LMAO !!! ( Sorry! ) :)

tantrum profile image

tantrum 6 years ago from Tropic of Capricorn

And Happy Birthday !!!! LOL

BJBenson profile image

BJBenson 6 years ago from USA

I do not know if I should laugh or cry for you, But I will yell, HAPPY BRITHDAY!

I do hate it when my dye doesn't look like the chick on the box!

Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 6 years ago from India

Awwww...happy birthday Nell! It will get better next year! Did you hear that? :D

europewalker profile image

europewalker 6 years ago

Oh Nell, sorry you had a bad day, but Happy Birthday anyway. I am still recovering from my last do it yourself dye job!

Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 6 years ago from US

Hey is that number after the title your age or the one under your picture? Ah, calm down just thought Id get your mind off your toe...or your ear. Happy birthday! Hope you worked in some sort of fun. I am always stumping my toes and I complain about my ears constantly, docs see nothing,(just a hole all the way through) at least you got help.

Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

Happy birthday, Nell. Your experience is sad, bad day on birthday, but I must confess, I giggle from very beginning to end. ^_^ Please forgive me, Nell. You rock! Once again, Happy birthday, Nell. Wish your dream come true! :)

valeriebelew profile image

valeriebelew 6 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

Nell Rose, I gave up expecting good birthdays, birthday cakes, and coloring my own hair years ago. Hint: the dye always makes your hair darker than the picture on the box. After selecting chestnut brown, as a younger woman, and ending up with ink bottle "whore" black I gave it up for lint (oops, I'm not Catholic, but I'll come up with some reason). Happy Birthday. Perhaps you should try a belated birthday celebration. (: v

Daniel V. profile image

Daniel V. 6 years ago from Romania

Happy birthday, Nell Rose!

Live long and prosper!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK


Ah... happy birthday anyway.. I said HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D

RevLady profile image

RevLady 6 years ago from Lantana, Florida

Too cute for words!!

Joining in the remembrance and celebration of the anniversary of your birth. Though the day may have seemed a bit odd, it no doubt gave you the wonderful gift of smiles.

Forever His,

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Melinda, thanks for being here first! and I would love tea with you, mind you I take about three large teaspoons of sugar, not the ladylike thing with lemon! lol It didn't turn out to badly on Saturday, the day after my birthday because I hit the town with my friend!, I say it, more like sneaked into a pub or two for a few bevies so it turned out okay. thanks as always nell

Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

Happy Birthday my fellow Gemini - double the trouble, double the fun is only the biginning of what one can expect from such a lovely sign. (did I just complimented myself? :-)))

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, tantrum! thanks lol it is just me, this is my everday life! Sometimes I can be such a lady, then the real me shines and the disasters start to happen around me! if I go out for an evening then everything goes wrong from the time I put on stockings or tights, to the fact that I get to the front door and everything is ruined, tights are all ripped makeup sloshed about all over my face and so on...ha ha thanks again nell

sheila b. profile image

sheila b. 6 years ago

Happy birthday. But look on the bright side - you gave all of us a good laugh.

Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

Happy Un-birthday, Nell. My great grandson was born on ur birthday 15 years ago. He, his sister and Mom went to Sea World in San Diego (from Indianapolis, no less) - so hope his day went more smoothly than yours seems to have gone!

Tell you what, now that things are surely settled back down, let's have a real tea party! Guys could come, I 'spose - but since none of 'em expressed any interest anyway - on second thought, it could be a girls' thing and we could talk about the guys - unless a more interesting subject entered the arena. (now that has possibilities! - Gladiators vying for our attention, perhaps?)

It would be a delayed-due-to-multiple-disasters sort of party with no one allowed to give you jeans or take pix of your Shrek-like appearance! But some kind of birthday cake along the lines of Italian Cream Cake, perhaps, would be fatting - er -FITTING! HEH HEH

Very amusing article, Nell!

mulberry1 profile image

mulberry1 6 years ago

Well, so I'm probably a day late...but, Happy Birthday!

For some reason, bad days like this happen. Rather than spreading all the crappy stuff out across the course of a year or two it all happens in one day. It all sounds perfectly normal to me. The part that really stinks is that it was your Birthday. Well, hopefully it means that the bad days typically scheduled for the next 356 days are all over and out of the way. (You are cleared for takeoff!)

Enjoy the coming year!

akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

Nellie - you sound like a page out of my book! Except I would have gone to the pub anyhow and said 'screw it!' If they can't take a joke....seriously, do what I do, pretend your birthday is a different day and then NOTHING can go wrong and NO ONE can disappoint! I try now to just not think about it or get too wound up about it and it usually goes okay - except for the Lucille Ball tricks that you seem to like to pull along with me! ANY day of my year goes like that unfortunately. Have you considered 'real' ear plugs? I buy them in huge quantities so that I can still sleep with my husband...I have yet to have one dug out of my ear (I'm crossing my fingers even as I write this though!) My mom actually had to go to the ER to have FLOSS removed from her teeth - I imagine that was pretty cool having to walk around with a huge wad of floss hanging out of your mouth...it always could be worse....I remember a fellow when I worked in X-ray that came in because he had a screw driver stuck up his bum for lack of a better word. We did not want to ask how it got there!

AT ANY RATE - HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY and if I was there, I'd bake you an entire dinner, complete with dessert and if anything went wrong such as the cake catching on fire, I would throw myself on it to prevent any more mishaps!

2uesday profile image

2uesday 6 years ago from - on the web, I am 2uesday.

Nell - I think you should have another Birthday (the queen has two after all) and make sure the second one is perfect. I enjoy reading the way you write, your descriptions are really good. Hope you have a good year to make up for the way it started.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, BJB, this was just a very funny day! I thought it was hilarious at the end. typical me! never mind I had a good day on saturday, made up for it! thanks again nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Feline, how you doing? yeah this was a funny day, but never mind, I will learn not to put tissue in my ear again! thanks as always nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, europewalker, I know now what it feels like to panic over my hair! I thought it had turned grey! ha ha but it was funny after the event. thanks again nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Polly, ha ha got me there! you should know by now that I tend to have 'dramas' ha ha but all is fine now! not sure what hurt the most, my toe or my ear! lol thanks again nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Freya, nice to see you. yes it made me giggle too when I thought about it afterwards! thanks for your nice comments, cheers nell

Polly C profile image

Polly C 6 years ago from UK

Nell, I'm sorry for your bad day - putting tissue in your ear? I once had to take my son to the hospital because he stuck silver foil up his nose and we couldn't get it out! Mind you, I know what it is like to put up with snoring!! I hope you got a drink and some birthday cake in the end. Mind you, you have entertained me on my bland and rather uneventful evening... It was a bit like watching a sit-com!

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Valerie, 'Whore black hair) ha ha sounds really exotic!! I will certainly make up for my birthday! I can feel a drink coming on! thanks nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Daniel, live long and prosper to you to! you trekkie you! ha ha thanks nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, De Greek thank you very much! another year older and deeper in debt! ha ha cheers nell

Hi, RevLady, thanks for stopping by, and yes it did turn out to be great, at least the next day did! thank you again nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Petra, yes you did! ha ha but we are allowed to, as we have a split personality called Gemini! lol thanks for stopping by, and I did end up having a great day. thanks nell

Enlydia Listener profile image

Enlydia Listener 6 years ago from trailer in the country

Dear Nell...Happy Birthday...your gift from me is a stay at our house (if you ever come to Ohio)...a nice comforting reflexology treatment...and a pair of nice soft earplugs...

I have learned not to have high expectations over any special event (that way you will never be disappointed)

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, sheila, thanks for reading it, and it was funny after the event! ha ha cheers nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, nellieanna, that's a great idea! I will bring the cake, and we will gossip all day about men and other strange but curiously intriguing subjects! ha ha thanks again for stopping by. cheers nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, mulberry, yeah hopefully the next year will be a bit less bumbling on my part! lol thanks again nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Audrey, ha ha Floss? and that poor man with the um well embarrassing object in a certain part of his body! hee hee I won't let you throw yourself onto a cake in flames, purely because that is the sort of thing that I would do! not intentionally of course, but with the fact that I am so accident prone I would fall on it anyway! thanks again for the laugh nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, 2uesday, thanks for stopping by, yes that's a great idea! I will have one again next week! but of course it will be my 25th birthday not... oh well um never mind! lol thanks again nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Polly C, silver foil? ha ha at least with a child it makes sense! but me? never! one of these days I will aquire some sense! I just hate snoring! thanks again nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Enlydia, thanks for the offer! ha ha I could certainly do with it. especially the earplugs! I shall have to write a hub about the sorts of earplugs that you can get! it would be enough to make anybody go to sleep! lol thanks as always nell

prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

Nell, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" to you. Sorry, I was late to say this. But better late than never. I hope you always healthy and you can achieve everything you wish. Prasetio :)

billyaustindillon profile image

billyaustindillon 6 years ago

Nell I had a laugh this was great - the way you told the story was brilliant - hopefully you got the earplugs and die all sorted. Hope you birthday turned out great after all. A belated hip hip hooray.

Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

Gosh, your fans definitely made up for it, Nell. Thoroughly enjoyed your writing and I know how it feels to have a forgotten birthday. H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y. I HOPE YOU HEARD ME.

Artisina profile image

Artisina 6 years ago from Sacramento

That was a great story, Nell. Sounds like at least 80% of my Birthdays. Glad to hear, sorry, that you got out the next day for a few. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NELL! Looking forward to reading more of your hubs.

shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain

Ear! Ear! A round of applause for Nell! LOL Guess you didnt have hayfever for the tissue to be in the ear instead of the nose! You did mention snoring, didnt you? lol

Another year, Nell - lets hope your net birthday is less eventful as this one! lol

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

HI, prasetio, thank you for reading it, and my birthday turned out all right in the end! cheers nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, billy, yep the earplugs are sorted out! ha ha I think I will just use those great big ear plugs that you use to listen to music. I will get into bed, turn it on and listen the guns and roses! lol it will be a lot quieter! thanks nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Hello Hello, thank you and yes I heard you! lol and I did have a good belated birthday the next day. thank you so much, I appreciate it, nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Artisina, thank you for the comment, and I did end up with a very enjoyable day. thank goodness! lol cheers nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, shaz, I wish it had been hayfever, it would have been easier to get it out! ha ha But I am still trying to find out how to stop the snoring! (bucket of water?)thanks nell

billyaustindillon profile image

billyaustindillon 6 years ago

It must be loud if listening to Guns and Roses is the solution Nell!

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, billy, it sounds like an aeroplane engine, on take off! ha ha thanks again nell

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Happy birthday Dear Nell! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday you beautiful Rose! Happy birthday to you!

I wish I could get you a cake! If you ever get to North Carolina I'll treat you to cake! Maybe ice-cream if you're good. You can curse if you hurt your toe though!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Sorry Nell. Delete some of this will ya! There was an error I was told and tried to make it go through but it did twice!

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Mickey, thanks for the invite, I am going to catch the plane ride now! ha ha that's if they let me on with a bad toe! and I would love some cake and ice-cream, cos I am very very good! hee hee thanks again nell

Oh, and the error thingy? I keep getting it too! must be a blip! a very large 'orrible blip! ha ha

carolina muscle profile image

carolina muscle 6 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

Happy belated birthday.. I hope you've recovered!! LOL

Coolmon2009 profile image

Coolmon2009 6 years ago from Texas, USA

Sorry I am late just wanted to say Happy Birthday. Hope you have a better one next year.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, carolina muscle, yeah got there in the end! ha ha thanks nell

Hi, Coolmon, thanks for stopping by, and I hope so too! lol thanks nell

Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 6 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Happy (belated) Birthday Nell! I hope by now you've made up for your disaster of a day with a good night out. Nothing worse than breaking down on your birthday. At least you didn't turn your hair green. Thanks for the laugh! Just think, you've got this one down for a good laugh in years to come:)

mysterylady 89 profile image

mysterylady 89 6 years ago from Florida

Funny, funny! I visited you because your comment on the pickle post was hilarious. I look forward to reading more of your hubs because I love a person with a sense of humor. By the way, I am probably the only person who has ever broken her little toe while sleeping ALONE in bed!

akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

And you know I would 'accidentally' fall on it as well because it just so happens that I am the Lucille Ball of Prineville....I consider it a public safety issue however, and I refuse to believe that I should be shunned! These things just happen to me (and you) and I think we should be elevated to 'hero' status rather than laughed at! Although the laughs are good...if I had only learned to play the piano with my butt like Victor Borge, I would be famous! I'm wondering if there is a venue for playing the accordion with other body parts....I should check into this immediately.

cameciob profile image

cameciob 6 years ago

Hi Nell, OMG (oh my God) I'm happy you are still alive after all these ...events. I, myself, have a plugged ear...it has been like that for a month. i do not remember that I put anything in (thogh I would have the same reasons as you) but maybe someone else could have done it. I'm scared to go to the doctor and after reading your hub I'll for sure not let a nurse touch my ear.

thanks for the informaton...

and the good read.

Glenn Stok profile image

Glenn Stok 6 years ago from Long Island, NY

Nell, you sure write in a way that holds the readers attention. I enjoyed reading about all your trials and tribulations of your birthday. I'm glad you came out of it in one piece. Happy Birthday!

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Thanks everybody, sorry it took so long to come back, but I had a bad evil computer virus, so I was to scared to log onto your hubs just in case. long story!! but I will be back tomorrow, 2.45 in morning now! it's been a long and angry! few hours trying to get it sorted! thanks all, and I will be back! cheers nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Green Lotus, mysterylady, Audrey, Cameciob and Glenn, I thought I would just give you all one answer as it has been so long! lol thank you all for your lovely and funny comments, believe me Audrey is funny, but I am clumsy funny, so I think I win! ha ha but seriously thanks again, and now my computer is back, I will be over. thanks nell

Sa`ge profile image

Sa`ge 6 years ago from Barefoot Island

Oh my what a birthday did you have! If nothing else it was exciting and makes you laugh now :O Sorry I missed it all :( Happy another birthday year to you my Dear :D and many more, may they be much better ones with no mishaps~ :D How is your hearing now? ~aloha~

raisingme profile image

raisingme 6 years ago from Fraser Valley, British Columbia

Sorry I missed your birthday Nell. Hopefully your year will go much better for you than the way it started off. You'll have to show your friends and family this hub then maybe next year they'll toe the line! (sorry, couldn't help myself). Lifting a cuppa to your having a wonderful year ahead. Cheers!

habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

This is just too funny!

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Sa'ge, my hearing is fine now! back to the snoring! lol oh well never mind. and thanks for the birthday wish, I will celebrate it again nex week! ha ha thanks nell

Hi, raisingme, toe the line! ha ha yes everyone thinks it's hilarious! I'll get them for laughing! lol cheers nell

Hi, habee, even I thought it was funny, after the event of course! lol thanks nell

D.A.L. profile image

D.A.L. 6 years ago from Lancashire north west England

Hi Nell, heard it was your birthday so I thought I had better add my best wishes to your list of admirers. Loved your story in the style only you could carry off so skilfully.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, D.A.L, thanks for the birthday wish, it did get better afterwards! lol thanks for stopping by, nice to see you. cheers nell

SilverGenes 6 years ago

Sorry I missed your birthday, Nell. How about a BDay celebration now that things are back to normal? "Hears" to a much better y'ear! (Sorry, it's a sickness LOL)

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, SilverGenes, ear ear!! ha ha thanks, I need to have a drink just thinking about it! but it's fine now, thanks again nell

suny51 profile image

suny51 6 years ago

Belated happy birthday Nel, but you must be feeling better by now.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, suny, thanks for reading it, and I had a great time afterwards! lol cheers nell

James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

You have the gift of making even the saddest of stories fun and funny. I enjoyed this—more than you enjoyed living it. Happy belated birthday! And many more.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, James, that was a day that was! lol only I could manage to mess up my birthday, even if it wasn't my fault! thanks again nell

michael ely profile image

michael ely 6 years ago from Scotland

Hi Nell , Really liked this story. Your misfortunes but our laughs!! Great stuff. Michael.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, michael, thanks for reading it, I seem to live my life in chaos! ha ha thanks again nell

Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

Hi Nell,

I don't know how I have missed this one till now, I seem to be making a habit of this in this last week or so.

This is so funny Nell even though we should be asking "Oh are you ok now?"

It's the way you tell them that makes me laugh.

Thank you for sharing this one with us.

By the way I do hope that everything is sorted now.

Take care


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, Eiddwen, it was just one of those days! ha ha

Daisy Mariposa profile image

Daisy Mariposa 4 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)


I'm reading this article on your birthday. I hope it's been a great one.

Happy Birthday, Nell!!!

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

My oh my! I thought this hub was your birthday TODAY until I got to the comments. Too funny!! I hope your enjoying your birthday!:)

billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

I couldn't find my way to the bottom of the comments...sheez, you are really special! This hub was either hilarious or tragic; I'm not sure which one. :) Happy Birthday my friend!

suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 4 years ago from Taos, NM

Happy Birthday, Nell! Wish I was there to celebrate with you - I'd hit the pubs with you! Then you'd forget about the ear - you don't have to ear, hear to drink! lol. This is hilarious, Nell. Somedays we shouldn't even get out of bed!

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks everyone! sorry I am not answering seperately on this, you have all been so great I can't catch up! lol! this birthday hub was a couple of years ago now, and it seems that nothing changes much! this year I had a dental appointment, he was going to pull a tooth! I went mad and said, fill it! then I got home and found that someone had stolen my bike! hey ho, thats life, but all your comments today have really made my day, THANK YOU!

LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 2 years ago from Somewhere in the West

Hmmm what a birthday hewww!!! I guess all don't go fine. The audacity of that woman to tell you don't be so stupid again ha ha ha, she's RUDE!

Isn't it amazing how the wrong things flies out our mouth the words even leave us astonished i do not use the f word etc but sometimes i find profanities escaping like if i get a bad drive etc. I does be suprise and wonder where did that come from LOL.

The profile picture you have up now is that when you dye the greys rotflol. Your just something else Nell what would we do without crazy folks like you walking around London. ha ha ha

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

LOL! my hair is bright blond but for some reason it came out grey in the photos! made me look older! and yes my mouth does run away with me occasionally! thanks Jo, nell

LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 2 years ago from Somewhere in the West

LOL hmmm even the camera was afraid of the dye in your hair lol what a mess. Well my own always telling it as it as , sometimes i need to zip it up and button it before the zip on my lips run loose again LOL.

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