How to Wish Your Zombie A Happy Valentine’s Day
When you care enough to send the very worst.
If one of your loved ones has been overrun by the Zombie Apocalypse, you could let him know that you care by sending him the severed head of a dead zombie. But first you would have to find a zombie. And then there is the problem that not every zombie will stand still for a good head severing. And to make matters worse, there is no guarantee that severing the head will kill the head. You can find any number of zombie movies wherein the head still moves about or even talks without a body.
I Heart Zombies
Not everyone is enthralled by the Walking Dead Series but why not show your significant other that you “get the joke”.
Given that your intended has at least a mild infatuation with shambling corpses let him know that it’s okay.
What's the best way to show zombies you really careSee results without voting
I Eat Zombies for Dinner
For the progressive zombie hunter: Show that you know he has conquered his fears, his revulsion, and the infectious nature of zombie flesh by chowing down on zombie burgers!
I’d Eat Your Brain All Over Again
If you are the Walking Dead Zombie lover, scare the hell out of your significant other by pretending to be a zombie and giving her T-Shirt that says: You’d eat her brain all over again. And again.
Zombie Sauce: Don’t eat brainz without it
There are any number of really hot, hot sauces out there. Some sauces contain barely sub-lethal amounts of habanero peppers and are suspected to be of unholy origins. Given that zombies take their food raw it would be the neighborly thing to offer them something to spice up their meals.
Don’t let your loved one face the foul armies of the living dead alone? Am I suggesting that you go with him to confront those hellish hordes? Not only no but hell no! Rather I believe you should increase the probability for survival of your truest love. At least until he makes you the beneficiary of a million dollar insurance policy.
Now where were we? One of the things a good zombie fighter can always use is something to distract the zombies. May I suggest you buy your Valentine’s Day lover a bag of Zoorina Zombie Chow. They say it tastes like real humans. It’s fortified with Justin Bieber fans, ISIS fighters, Taliban fighters, Al Qaeda fighters and other subhuman misanthropes. Zoorina Zombie chow is also sprinkled with the dewy goodness of simulated hormones and enzymes that will drive zombies wild. Zombies will be so entranced with zombie chow that they will leave your lover alone. Accept no substitutes. Buy genuine Zoorina Zombie chow: Zombie tested, cannibal approved. "Tastes like real people."
Ain't Nothing Funny About Loving the Dead
Just to show the doubters and haters that loving the dead is not as rare as you think there was a news story out that the fiancé of the infamous Charles Manson wanted him for his corpse. Oh ye of little faith, Google it if you don't believe it.
It’s Always Halloween Somewhere
There are any number of observances to commemorate people, places and things that are no longer among us. There is the Day of the Dead (Dia de los Muertos), Famadihana (Turning of the Bones),The Hungry Ghost Festival, All Saints Day, All Souls Day, Halloween, Bon or Obon Festival, Chuseok, Gaijatra, Qingming Festival, Pitru Paksha, and Lemuralia. So the information given herein can do double duty!
Looking for Zombies
If you don’t see the dead things you are looking for in the Zazzle module below, change the drop down in the center of the page from "popular" to newest, and then remove all search words from the box on the upper left hand corner of the page. Then press enter. It has to be done in that order to refresh what you are looking at.
- 21doomsday2012: zombie Zombie Gifts: Zazzle.com Store
You may not love zombies but zombies love you. Well they love your brain anyway.
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