I spent my birthday climbing through a window

I'm 44 years of age growing strong. I turned of age on September 14. I have a great deal of friends in Facebook, which serves me well for the feeling of celebration with all those "Happy Birthday" messages.

On the morning of September 14, I woke up to thank each and every one of my friends... Infinite messaging... I love it.

Most folks in Facebook would get the impression that, since I received like 200 plus messages for my birthday, I would have this awesome birthday party. Life can be deceiving.

I wasn't really planning on having an extravagant celebration, I'm way too cheap for that, plus it was a Wednesday... But I also wasn't planning on leaving my keys inside the house as I'm rushing out.

It wasn't I who left the keys, it was my daughter, same difference. At about 4:20 in the afternoon, I'm helping my children with their bags so I can take the younger one to his Tae Kwon Do class. My daughter closed the door of the house. Now my purse, my cell phone, my laptop, my keys... everything is inside the house.

I can still call myself lucky

I have two used cars, a white Toyota Tercel 1996 (which I adore for its frugal gas consumption), and a blue 2001 Dodge Caravan. Luckily, the van was open and inside there was a spare key to the van.

So, all I have is that key... and gas in the tank.

Off we went to take my son to his Tae Kwon Do class, the show must go on.

On our way there, of course I am adamant. I rant on about how we need to take care of each other. How, as a mother, I do my very best, especially to avoid these kind of situations. But communication is critical. I tell my daughter that the ironic thing about it is that, even though it was her fault, I am responsible. Adults are always responsible. But as a family we need to be more on the lookout for each other. You see, they were wise enough to have their DS with them... we all know how that goes... I tell them that we need to care for each other.

"Do you need anything? Can I help you with something? Are you OK?" We need to care for each other. It's a necessity, and we have grown apart of practicing this basic human need. We need to leave the "I" and get into the "WE".

I also tell them absolutely do not ask me to buy anything. I do not have any money or credit cards.

The real party begins

Tae Kwon Do class lasts but an hour, so we're quickly back at the house, or by the house, since is still locked. My boyfriend doesn't have a cell phone (hahaha!!!) He doesn't want to put up with the monthly bill any more, go figure... Is not funny really.

But it's funny in a Murphy's Law kind of way. I was pretty sure that I was going to be able to open the door (it's a wooden door, that I've opened before with a plastic card), but that was not possible. The reason? The stormy weather of September have expanded the wood, so it is impossible to slide any plastic in between to force the door open.

I tried though, until sweat and curse. I presented to my children as Super Mommy. The one that fixes VCRs, connects the speakers, unclogs the plumbing... Well, now she wasn't able to open a door so her children could get back home.

It's about 6:30 pm now. Sun is starting to set. My younger son goes into doom questions: "How are we going to live now, Mommy?"

-Shut up, Alvin, really. We are not going to die today.

My son has this fixation with death is terrifying, sort of like "The Addams Family". Sometimes I let him slide, but right now I'm just not in the mood of playing pretty.

So I go on to tell them that is all about half glass full. At least we were in the van, sitting down comfortably. It could have been us outside on the sidewalk. We get to turn the air conditioner on. We get to pull the level. They love pulling the level on the seats.

This time though it wasn't that much fun for them.

As I'm sitting in the driver's seat, I travel within myself with my adult thoughts. Thinking I hope my boyfriend comes back home earlier (he normally comes back at around 10pm). Thinking what can I do in order to avoid this in the future...

I look back to check on my children, who had been awfully quiet. They're both crying. My daughter has the real reason to cry, my son is crying because she is crying.

I have to console them, I am not the mushy touchy kind of mommy, but I know when touchy feely is needed.

"Hey, why are you crying? We are going to solve this. We have only one problem. You are thinking of many, but we have only one... getting in the house."

-But I'm thirsty, mommy.

"Well, you are going to have to suck that up for now... Besides, there's the garden hose, so if you're thirsty, there you go. Do not think about what you don't have... This could be a lot worse, but know that I did not plan for this."

My daughter sobs a little.

It happens to all of us

"Girl, listen... a lot of adults leave their keys inside their cars and in their houses all the time. Why, some even forget their babies inside their cars!"

We actually witnessed that last week. A young mom shut the door of her car realizing the next second that her baby and her keys were still inside.

I go on relating my daughter of the many times, at different stages in my life, that I've left keys and forgot stuff like that in my lifetime. My children love stories... And, since we had all the time in the world now, I told them almost every story in my book related to lost and found...

Like the time I was heading to the parking lot after church night service to realize I've lost my car keys. I was with my older son who was eight. We managed to unlock the car and I miraculously turned it on with some school scissors. My boyfriend later clarified that Nissan Sentras were known for turning on with any piece of metal. For me is still a miracle.

Now is bedtime, about 8pm. So I turn the radio on and tell my children not to fall asleep but to lay down. They fell asleep in five minutes.

An hour later my boyfriend arrives. He suggests we put my younger son through the window. I explain to him that, asleep, my son is of no use even if we managed to wake him up.

Here I go

So is up to Super Mommy. Faster than a mop, stronger than a traffic jam, lighter than a love seat.

At first, I tried to go through the window feet first. Never try this at home. My boyfriend insists I need to go head first. I just don't want to get hurt, you know, on my birthday.

Here I go. I go in head first, now my legs are like up in the air. My belt gets stuck in the window. He pulls the belt out so fast it almost burned me. I don't think my butt is gonna make it. Turns out I don't have that big of a butt after all.

I place my hand on the nightstand inside the room. Oh! The blood rushing to my face. The fear of slamming the floor, of breaking something.

Somehow, I managed to get a leg in... I'm in the house! Felt like SPIDER WOMAN!!! So powerful yet, what a chore!!

I go to the main door. We get my sleepy children in. He gives me my birthday present.

Nice pair of shoes. Happy Birthday.

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Comments 12 comments

Maralexa profile image

Maralexa 5 years ago from Vancouver, Canada and San Jose del Cabo, Mexico

Oh that was so funny! And you are such a great MOM! I love you Super Mommy line.

Thanks so much. Voted up and awesome and, of course, funny.


Maralexa profile image

Maralexa 5 years ago from Vancouver, Canada and San Jose del Cabo, Mexico

PS: loooove your red shoes!


Rehana Stormme profile image

Rehana Stormme 5 years ago

Lol! This was a nice read! You saved the day in the end, after all.


CrazyGata profile image

CrazyGata 5 years ago from Puerto Rico Author

Life is the best creator of funny. :-)

I saved the day... I left out the fact that I was trying to cope with getting to the window, my boyfriend served as stool... no pun intended please...


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

Too funny! I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time,though.


CrazyGata profile image

CrazyGata 4 years ago from Puerto Rico Author

It was funny the moment I started writing about it, not before ;)


iamaudraleigh 4 years ago

Spiderwomyan gets a nice pair of shoes...lol!!! I love your story!!!

YOu are a great Mom and an adventurous one!

I think you should make a book out of this or a short story!

Great job and shared with the world!


CrazyGata profile image

CrazyGata 4 years ago from Puerto Rico Author

Just today I was wishing happy birthday to a friend in FB and he was relating how he got locked out of his apartment a few hours ago... I shared this with him as a Hallmark moment :) Thank you for reading and sharing! Glad you enjoyed it!


Tom Koecke profile image

Tom Koecke 4 years ago from Tacoma, Washington

Funny descriptions of a trying day in the life of a supermom!

I crawled through a window of a newly-rented house I locked myself out of. Not only had I forgotten my keys, but I also left the concert tickets inside. I was greeted by police officers when I opened the door to leave. A neighbor had seen me going through the window and thought I was breaking in!

After proving I lived there, we went to the Foghat concert and got arrested for possession of pot!

Oh, what a day that was!

I'm glad yours was somewhat less eventful!


CrazyGata profile image

CrazyGata 4 years ago from Puerto Rico Author

hahahah!!!! hahaha!!! when are you writing it??? that is hilarious on top of Adam Sandler funny!


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 4 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Pssst...CrazyGata...a metal, wide-blade frying spatula works exactly the same as a credit card to open a locked door, but is MUCH thinner so it might've got you in despite the swelled wood. I can attest it works on apartment doors in an inside hallway only because I used one to get a neighbor into his apartment.

Oh, did I mention he was a detective on the local police force? This was before cell phones and **NO WAY** would he let me call the station from my apt to send over a lock picker! (Mainly because every patrol car in the city would've come, too.) Still makes me laugh when I think about it!)

Anyway, keeping a spatula in the van wouldn't be a bad idea. Someday I'll write a hub about the TWO times I was locked out of MY house. lol!

Nice shoes, btw. Voted up and funnnnnnny! ;D


CrazyGata profile image

CrazyGata 4 years ago from Puerto Rico Author

I've opened so many houses I should've applied as part time burglar... :) I left out some details here... I went to my neighbors and ask for anything that would help. But yes, I don't recall having any piece of metal. What it was is that the door expanded so much that nothing went through... that tight.

I am going to stop writing now and head to the kitchen to check for that spatula though... although me writing another saga of this nature is highly unlikely, even if it happens again :D Thanks for reading, posting and for the tip! I will follow you so that I have heads up on your locked out adventure. :)

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