Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations during the Holiday's.

Holiday Season

How I Changed my Attitude about Expectations

I look back at how I dealt with the holiday season once I was in high school and college.My expectations stayed idealistically high for a person who knew Santa was never coming again. I had certain expectations of get together's with friends, what my family would get me for Christmas, and the list goes on and on... If I look back now, it just set me up for sadness and depression because it never added up to my expectations.

I can confidently proclaim that the Christmas season means more to me as an adult than it ever did when I was a child. Of course I would never trade those childhood memories of believing in Santa for anything but I have finally figured out the real meaning of Christmas and the secret of not setting yourself up for a let down. Sure, it took me awhile as I'm in my fourth decade of life, but at least I'm admitting it.

The Christmas season is about your blessings. It's about what you have, not what you don't have. I have learned to see what is right in front of me instead of dreaming of what ifs and missing the good stuff. I think many of us think we should be in different places in our lives instead of fully loving and accepting where were at right now.Christmas is about showing love and compassion to not only family and friends, but strangers and people in need. When you give, you get the biggest gift of all when you see someone smile or laugh in joy. Christmas is about family and loving them where their at, even if their not quite where you think they could be. Christmas is about hope and believing that things will get better. Fully embrace all you have: Anything from a roof over your head, to good friends, family, pets, transportation, good health, better health-your alive, etc...We are alive and the world is our oyster as we speak. Give love and don't hold back. Once we can see all the blessings we have and learn to live in the moment, everything else during the holidays is icing on the cake.Take it from a slow learner like me and your Holidays will Never be a disappointment.

Happy Holidays and God Bless all my friends and family

Christmas Eve- 2011

My Beautiful Nieces
My Beautiful Nieces
Auntie, Grandpa and Baby Amery
Auntie, Grandpa and Baby Amery
Cousins Rock!
Cousins Rock!
My niece and I
My niece and I

Be Realistic during the Holiday's so your not Let Down

I was having a conversation with my twin sister the other day about how my expectations of Christmas and the holiday season has changed over the years. As we discussed the topic at length over a holiday cocktail, my sister said, "I think you need to write about this." Please, go sit and relax in your favorite chair with your favorite holiday beverage and I'll share my thoughts with you.

It all began when I was a young girl believing in Santa Claus. There is nothing more magical than thinking a kind-hearted man flies all over the world, dropping presents down chimney's. Oh, the anticipation of Christmas morning was exhilarating and beyond...I can remember how I would swear I heard Santa and his reindeer on the roof every year. My mind would go over and over the gifts Santa would hopefully leave me. My siblings and I would all hunker down in the same room and have Christmas songs playing on the radio throughout the night. Oh, how I miss those days of pure childhood innocence.

At some point in our childhood we learn that Santa Claus is not real. Sure, he is real in the symbolic way but the magical mystery tour is over. We figure out Santa Claus is really mom and dad. How could mom and dad sleep at night keeping a secret as big as this from us. Then add to this their guilt for crushing our little hearts when they decided to tell us we were deceived. Growing up is so painful!




Expectations for the Holiday Season

Have you struggled with high expectations during the holidays

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Comments 44 comments

Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

You are so right. There is NOTHING that gives us such a warm glow inside as that of giving and seeing those smiles. Whether it be to family, friends, neighbours or someone in need.

We have so much to be thankful for all year round. For me the real gift of Christmas is to be surrounded by those we love.

A beautiful hub and voting up


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Love your hub.My husband and I finding ourselves alone in this world with only our cat Sid simply enjoy the holidays together. Quite awhile back we stopped trying to buy gifts because there was always not enough money or just to buy because... was silly. We are both orphans our parent's having died. He has two children from his first marriage. They are both young adults in their late 20s and his daughter Mara usually spends the holidays with her friends and his son Andris and his wife Victoria usually spend the holidays traveling somewhere. So when holidays come we get a little Christmas tree, make some punch and toast ourselves, remember why we actually celebrate this holiday and enjoy. No great expectations unless of course a jolly fat man in a red suit would decide to join us. lol


Spirit Whisperer profile image

Spirit Whisperer 4 years ago from Isle of Man

This is a great hub with a very worthwhile message. Giving is receiving and many people have forgotten this sacred law of life. Feeling grateful for all that you have attracts abundance and pining for all that you want creates lack. Thank you.


Cassie Ann profile image

Cassie Ann 4 years ago

Beautiful hub. Christmas has always meant the same to me whether a child or grown up adult. I simply love it. From making our traditional Italian meal, to making 20 different kinds of cookies the week before, wrapping gifts and giving them is just the best. Yes, I am exhausted from only getting 4 hours a night of sleep and working full time, but having 23 people gather around my table in my home is the best. This year my niece and her husband came from California for Christmas - the first time in 8 years. But especially great was having my three sons come home from out of state to stay so I had all four sons together. I loved Christmas as a child. Mom worked hard to make it wonderful on a very small budget and I have learned to do the same. It is not and never has been about the presents; it is about your family, love and what God has blessed you with that counts. I love everything about it. The decorations, the food, yes even baking a thousand cookies. It's about my whole family being together once a year over good food and times remembered. But mostly it's a celebration about a price paid that we may have life and have it abundantly.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas

When I got older, I have always gotten more pleasure out of giving than receiving. I'm glad that my family has moved further away from the commercial aspect of Christmas and moved more to the spiritual. I think it means so much more. I did not have the pleasure of being around any young children during the season, but to me that is my favorite part - see how they enjoy the season.


europewalker profile image

europewalker 4 years ago

Excellent hub. Your words are a great reminder to appreciate what we have right now. Our dreams may not always come true. We should live in the moment and spending time with family is the best gift of all.


Kerry43 4 years ago

A great read, thank you for sharing....Merry Christmas:)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Rosemay-It is a wonderful feeling to give and see the excitement in our children's eyes when they get something they love. Thanks for rating my hub up and Happy and healthy new year to you :-)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Gypsy-Sounds like your Christmas was charming and I love that you get a little tree and Toast to yourselves. Christmas has become so commercialized in this day and it really brings us far from what is important. God and family. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Hub friend :-)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Spirit Whisperer-Loved your words of wisdom. "Giving is Receiving." It's so true and gives you much more than any gift. Blessings to you this holiday season and Happy New Year :-)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Cassie-It sounds like your Christmas was so special with your family. Yes, it's not the gifts and the expectations but God, family and love. Time for you to catch up on sleep now. LOL


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

Your Christmas with family is what it should be. The real Christmas experience is about love, God's love. As we celebrate the birth of the Saviour, it all is so touching to me. I sometimes wish I had more family around but I have my little boy like Mary had hers. This year our Christmas was amazing and God showered us with His incredible love.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi Homesteadbound-Sis and I have her two teens at Christmas which makes it really fun. The excitement and joy in their eyes during the holidays is such a gift. I think it's really sad how Christmas is so commercialized in this day in age as it's so far from it's real meaning.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

I feel blessed Europewalker that I have family to spend the holidays with as there are many out there who don't. Everything we have is such a blessing. Happy New Year :-)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thanks for coming by Kerry and I hope your holiday season has been full of love and peace :-)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hyphenbird-Yes indeed-It's all about God's love for us and all the blessings he has given us. Happy New Year to you hub friend.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 4 years ago from Minnetonka, MN

Cheers to this sister friend. Powerful way to teach us all what really matters in this life. Your twinner


pmccray profile image

pmccray 4 years ago from Utah

I finally got it this year. With so much upheaval in my life in 2011 my husband and I decided to just be happy with what we've been blessed with at the end of this hellish time. Thank you for sharing, voted up, marked useful, awesome and interesting.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

...well hello dear Linda so nice to connect with you my friend and I sincerely wish that you enjoyed a happy safe and warm holiday season with your beloved family - most importantly I wish for you on a personal level is your continued 'health' and happiness into the new year of 2012 .......epi is still writing up a storm as you can see/read here at the Hub and his two cats are fine and he is still hanging in there at his most two favorite places in the world - his humble little cottage by the lake and of course - Linda's place here at the Hub! lake erie time ontario canada 2:49pm


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

MT, powerful article and so true. I am on the verge of 29 and it took that long to realize that it is the blessing of what I have and not what I want. You couldn't have said it better. Voted up, useful, and beautiful.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

Beautiful story. I can relate..As a child i believed so strongly in Santa. It was a real let down when i found out the truth. I fully agree that the true meaning of Christmas is giving to the people who are without, and they are all around us..Thank you for sharing..Best Wishes..


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

wow you mean there really isn't a Santa Claus? LOL.. I know what you mean.. great hub love your story..

I love your video.

I voted up and awesome

Happy New year.

Debbie


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

OMG, Linda, tell me it isn't so. Santa Claus is only a figment? Who knew? I still believe in Santa though when I hear or read of something some anonymous donor does for some other person. You are so right. Giving is good and having family around at Christmas is even better. Thank you for reminding us with this sweet hub and lovely pictures of family members. Happy New Year!.


GarnetBird profile image

GarnetBird 4 years ago from Northern California

I try to spend a quiet, practical Christmas every year--I do not spend much money on d├ęcor or gifts; I can relate to this hub and feel we need more realistic hopes. I had a peaceful season with someone I love and that is what I was grateful for..


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 4 years ago from United Kingdom

A beautiful story and beautifully said, it's what we already have that is so precious, life, love and family.

voted up and beautiful.


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

This was a great Hub! I really enjoyed your photos and the video, too.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thanks Laura-I love you and we are so blessed!


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

pmccray-I really appreciate that you said that you really got it this year too. I am sorry to hear your going through hellish times. I do think that there is always something to be happy about. We are all blessed and I think at the holdiays, it's good to think about blessings within the bummers. Bless you and happy holidays :-)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Dear Colin-my 'Canadian Prince,' you have made my holiday season by coming by my Christmas hub. You are very important to me here and I see you as one of my favorite gifts of my past year. When I logged on to Hubpages, I never knew I would meet such a Great friend. Happy New Year to you and your loving cats.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Dear lyricwriter-Firstly, I am envious of your young and fun age. LOL I am glad you see this at such a young age because it's a waste of energy to have all the expectations. I appreciate you coming by and Happy New Year to you :-)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Dear always exploring-I think there are many of us 'spiritual' people that struggle with this expectation thing because of how we are taught about santa. I see so many kids that are not grateful for what they get at Christmas and lose the whole meaning because of Christmas because of expectation. I too had tunnel vision and even if I was having fun with family at Christmas Eve, my mind was only thinking of the presents to come in the morning. There is nothing wrong with being excited about presents but when it clouds the meaning, we are missing out.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Happy New Year Debbie and I'm so sorry that I told you there is no santa. Dont' worry my dear, Santa is all of those who love you and need you. I also believe that there is a God who watches over us. Happy New Year my hubber friend.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Dear drbj-So glad you figured out that Santa comes in many forms:donors, family, helping those in need, a call from a friend when one is lonely, etc... Happy New Year my hubber friend.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

GarnetBird-Sounds like you have your blessings in order. Glad you have someone to share the season with and see that your holiday joy doesn't include spending a lot of money for presents. You are a better person for it. Happy New Year to you and your husband.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Movie Master-Love,Life and Family is the answer. Sometimes we don't see it for awhile but it's what it's all about. God Bless and Happy New Year to you and yours.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Aww, thank Mary-I am so glad you checked out my hub and all the pics and video. Happy New Year!


Duffee profile image

Duffee 4 years ago

I joined Hub Pages just so I could comment and tell you what a beautiful piece this was to read!! You really have such an amazing gift to share what it all boils down to...

I can't tell you how old I was or when exactly I figured this out for myself. I was perhaps a very young Mom at the time? I just know each and every year--I realize that all I ever wanted I already have--whether it is Christmas Morning or some other morning. I'm thankful that it can be Christmas in my heart each day of the year if I so choose. I've been blessed--and I'm so thankful for those blessings!

Many kudos to you--and I hope you keep realizing the blessings each and everyday!! Cheers, Jenn.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Oh Jenn-What a lovely thing to say. You are so right that every day is a day to count our blessings. I too have everything I've ever wanted and more...It's so great to see you here on Hubpages. I'm going over to follow you right now.


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven

Hi Minnetonka! How are you? Happy Holidays to you and your family! Great hub. I always had high expectations myself of every get together. I learned to let go. Thank you for sharing. :)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Happy almost New Year Carolinemd21. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one that struggled with this expectation thing. I think it starts with believing in the magical Santa Claus. How do you come down from that excitement. LOL


femmeflashpoint 4 years ago

MT,

This was so on-target for Christmas season; being thankful for every little thing.

I like that, and think I'll be making more effort to ensure I incorporate it every day.

femme


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

I hope you had a great holiday season femmeflashpoint. I think most of us can come up with so many blessings if we sit back and take a look. Happy New Year to you :-)


femmeflashpoint 4 years ago

MT,

I didn't get to be home for the holidays this year. Christmas is a very big deal for me, and brimming with traditions and time spent with family and friends back home. To be away from home without them is always an emotional struggle, but I still can't help being caught up with the excitement of the season.

Nice thing is, for every year I've been away from home for the holidays, I've still been surrounded by good friends who've never left me feeling like odd-one out. It means a lot and helps me get through the holiday homesickness much easier.

femme


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

I know how tough it can be Femme to be away from family at the holdiays. It's like everything you see reminds you of family and traditions. I'm glad to hear you have friends that help you through the holidays.

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