Little-Known Santa No. 5

Little-Known Santa No. 5
Little-Known Santa No. 5 | Source

Oh, by gosh, by golly, it’s almost time for mistletoe and holly . . .

But it’s certainly not yet time for this not-so-jolly old elf to be creeping into your house — or mine — past midnight. For this is Lifer Santa (though with our penal system functioning as it does, it’s probably going to be more like Paroled-in-33-Years Santa!).

It’s not his rap sheet of breaking elf labor laws, violating protected airspace, continuing to use lead paint on his toys, or annual cruelty to animals (primarily artiodactyls) that has placed Prisoner 53790X2 in the pen, but rather an unfortunate turf war with a decedent named Frost, J. that sent him away.

The best you can do for this old con is to hope he gets the holiday therapy he needs, and to mail him the occasional fruitcake (minus the file, please).

More by this Author

Comments 2 comments

Mike King 5 years ago

That is some funny stuff i thought that was him on c yard, now i know it was

rickzimmerman profile image

rickzimmerman 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio Author

Yup, Mike, I think that shiv has been carved from reindeer antler.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article