10 Reasons You Are On Santa's Naughty List This Christmas

Source

You're Getting Nothing for Christmas!

No matter how old you are, Santa Claus knows whether you've been naughty or nice. You might think each Christmas you will be showered with gifts, but that is not true. If you've been bad this year, you can pretty much forget about seeing Santa and his reindeer this Christmas. No one is stopping at your home for Christmas with presents.

Let's not kid ourselves. You know if you've been evil this year. If you've gotten into trouble or been a horrible person, it is no secret. This might be painful to accept, but Santa Claus might just hate you. Yeah, hate is a strong word but when Santa kicks over your Christmas tree this year instead of putting gifts under it, you'd better accept it. You've been naughty.

So just what did you do to get on Santa Claus's naughty list? As if you don't know! If you really are confused about Santa's negative feelings towards you, I will give you some examples of bad behavior Santa will not tolerate. Let's explore 10 reasons why you could be on Santa's naughty list this year.

Source

Reasons Why Santa Won't Be Dropping By Your Place This Year:

  1. You purposely put your own cat in a tall tree more than seven times this year. It really wasn't funny when you kept calling 911 about it. Santa is going to wait it out and see how your court date goes before he makes any decisions about next Christmas.
  2. Flooding every single public restroom in your county just isn't cool. Your name and photo are on bulletin boards all over town. It is a shame you are banned from using all restrooms at each store and restaurant in your area. Santa needs to use the bathroom sometimes as well; he seriously frowns upon this type of activity. I believe he flushed your gifts down those same toilets.
  3. No one appreciated your little "switch the salt with sugar and sugar with salt" prank. Grandma is never baking you a cake again and Santa will never trust you enough to eat those Christmas cookies you leave out for him.
  4. Creating a computer virus... well, that just automatically puts you on everyone's naughty list. Santa won't appreciate your effort, but Satan just might.
  5. While working at the mall, you went through special effort cleaning the floor length windows and making it spotless in the front of a store just to watch people walk into it all day. Then you uploaded the security video footage to YouTube.
  6. Painting the lines on the road so no one can see where to drive might have seemed funny on Seinfeld, but in hindsight and twenty accidents later, it was probably a really bad idea. Santa might have a sleigh, but a little known fact is he often drives his Ford Pinto to the dollar store to purchase wrapping paper. Santa Claus enjoys his classic automobile, but you know that thing can't hold up in a car crash. Santa is very, very unhappy.
  7. You've been ruining the ending of movies for all your friends and family members for years. You always have to be the first person to see a movie just to tell everyone the ending. Santa is finally on to you. Until you can learn to stop doing this, Santa Claus won't be giving you movie passes for Christmas.
  8. Knocking over the Christmas tree once is an accident that could happen to anyone. Knocking over the Christmas tree five days in a row is obviously not an accident anymore. Quit being a jerk about the Christmas tree. Now Santa has no place to put the Christmas presents which is why he is skipping your house.
  9. When you stole your co-worker's great idea at work, you turned into the biggest creep in your department. Sure, you may have gotten a bonus from management, but you are getting nothing but lumps of coal in your stocking this Christmas from Santa.
  10. It really wasn't cool when you scared Grandpa so bad for a Halloween prank you made him scream. It was even less cool when you laughed at him when he spit out his dentures in fear. Did you know Santa Claus also wears dentures? Do you know why you are getting nothing for Christmas? For some reason, Santa is personally offended when people scare the elderly and they lose their dentures. Go figure.


Copyright ©2012 Jeannieinabottle

More by this Author


Comments 31 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Great fun as always! Santa with dentures? That's a visual I'm not fond of. LOL...good job Jeannie!


DanaTeresa profile image

DanaTeresa 4 years ago from Ohio

Tons of fun! My boyfriend could possibly be guilty of #2, cuz he has gone number 2 in just about every restroom on the planet! As for me, really it WAS an accident all five times I knocked over the tree. Grandpa insists it is put in the worst spot!

Enjoy the holidays!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much, billybuc! For some reason, I always imagined Santa had dentures. Someone must have told me that as a kid and it is in the back of my mind somewhere. ;-)

DanaTerera, I am happy you enjoyed the hub. I suppose if flooding the bathrooms and knocking over the tree all those times I really accidents, Santa will be more forgiving. Thanks for the comment!


shiningirisheyes profile image

shiningirisheyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

Very funny stuff here but now I'm a bit worried. Do you think my taping down the "on" handle for the kitchen sprinkler warrants pissing off Santa? I really hope my stashing fake mice in the cupboards and coffee holder didn't add to the bad list category. I wonder if putting the Halloween mask on a covered dish and storing it in the refrigerator did me any harm?

Oh - the heck with it ... I KNOW I'm at the top of the naughty list this year, just as in years past!

Thanks for the wonderful laughter you've provided me!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I hate to tell you this, but you are definitely on the naughty list this year. Hehe. That is OK. Santa has not visited me in a long time either. :-) Thank you for your comment!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

Not saying that I actually *did* it, but if I did do #7, how long will I be on the list? :)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Hahaha... I think you get off the naughtly list as soon as you stop ruining the end of movies. ;-) Of course, that doesn't count if the person begs to hear the ending. I've done that before. Thanks for the comment!


Janine Huldie profile image

Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

Hilarious Jeannie and seriously loved this one!! The dentures part was completely too much fun. Thanks for sharing!! I have of course voted and shared, too.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thank you so much for sharing, voting, and for the comment. I guess no one else ever assumed Santa was wearing dentures. Hehe. :-)


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Salt and sugar trick, that's a classic! Jeannie what would HP do without you? You add so much laughter and excitement. I'm thankful for you! :)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I have a confession... I am guilty of pulling the salt and sugar prank on my mother. I was very young, but I still remember how furious she was. She did not see the humor in it at all. I've never done it since it! And thank you so much... that is so sweet of you!


PaisleeGal profile image

PaisleeGal 4 years ago from Memphis, Tennessee, USA

Way funny!!! what a good idea for an article!!! Good read .. I'm still smiling! voted up and funny..


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much! I am happy I could make you smile. Thanks for the vote up!


Blond Logic profile image

Blond Logic 4 years ago from Brazil

This was funny stuff. They all deserve to be left off the list. It is Santa Karma.

Although I would like to see the YouTube video of people walking into a clean window. Oh no, does that get me on the naughty list?


mecheshier profile image

mecheshier 4 years ago

Great Hub. Thanks for starting my day with a smile! I love the one about YouTube and the mall. Ty for sharing. Voted up for funny and useful. Useful because everyone needs to laugh! :-)


randomcreative profile image

randomcreative 4 years ago from Milwaukee, Wisconsin

The Seinfeld reference cracked me up. What a fun idea for an article.


Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

Glimmer Twin Fan 4 years ago

Doesn't Santa have any sense of humor? I think the people should keep getting filmed crashing into the freshly cleaned store windows! That's always a classic. Funny hub!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Blond Logic - Yes, Santa Karma it is! What a great term! Oh, and you can see plenty of YouTube videos of people walking into glass... apparently a lot of people are on Santa's naughty list. Thanks for the comment!

mecheshier - I am happy I could make you smile. Thanks for the votes and thanks for visiting my hub.

randomcreative - Thanks so much... I love that episode on Seinfeld.

Glimmer Twin Fan - Santa has a sense of humor, but he doesn't like it when people get hurt or lose their dentures. Hehehe. Thanks for your comment!


ChrisStyles profile image

ChrisStyles 4 years ago from USA

Funny stuff, also liked the Seinfeld reference.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much! I am happy you enjoyed it.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 4 years ago from sunny Florida

Laughter is a good thing. I am still chuckling. I admit it..I am guilty of #7. It's not that I mean to do . I just get so excited that before I know it I have told too much. Do you think Santa can forgive me??

Thanks for sharing this. voted up.....too cute.

sending Angels your way :) ps


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Yes, I am pretty sure Santa can forgive you. Plenty of people are guilty of number 7... even me sometimes. I can help it. Some people just really want to hear the ending of movies! They make us do it! Thanks for your comment!


adrienne2 profile image

adrienne2 4 years ago from Atlanta

Great list of laughs, putting the cat in the christmas tree. It takes a great imagination to come up with a list like this. I guess Santa would have dentures he has been around since forever ..lol...


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much for your comment! I am happy you enjoyed my hub. I am pretty certain Santa must have dentures. After all, he eats all those sugar cookies each year. His teeth can't be in good shape. :-)


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

Thanks Jeanine! FUNNY. Shared. I will be getting gifts this year. I was not naughty this year. Not even once.


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

Oh this was so cute and very funny. I am not admitting to anything...I think I slid under Santa s radar all year so enough said...hehe

Thanks for the smiles!


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 4 years ago from USA

I laughed as I read this and thought of many others you could add to this list. I feel lucky enough to miss the hate list...I hope...LOL! Great hub! I needed the laugh.


rebeccamealey profile image

rebeccamealey 4 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

Too cute! I loved this!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much for the comments! I am happy to hear so many of you will be getting gifts this year. It is good to stay on Santa's nice list.


savvydating profile image

savvydating 2 months ago

Hahaha! This is funny stuff! I was searching for something to read and came upon this hub. Yeah, I am one of those who thinks about Christmas in September---sometimes as early as August....which is why I always try to be good. If Santa skipped my house, I would be devastated. Loved this article. It's just too cute!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 8 weeks ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thank you, savvydating! I am glad you liked my hub. I try to be good, but I won't be too sad if Santa is forced to skip me. ;-)

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle (Jeannieinabottle)1,161 Followers
    440 Articles

    Jeannie has been writing for HubPages for over 5 years. She covers a wide variety of topics - anything from hamsters to office work.



    Click to Rate This Article
    working