Reeling In The Years 2017 to 2025: New Years Predictions

Future Tense

Many mystics try their hand at predicting the future. I prefer to take some emerging trends from the current year and extrapolate out a decade or so.

Faithless

The death penalty will be enforced for the following crimes:

  1. Criticizing the president of the United States
  2. Insulting a recognized religion
  3. Objecting to the president’s power to declare which religions shall be recognized
  4. Criticizing the idea of Climate Change
  5. Criticizing Socialism
  6. Possessing a copy of any version of the King James Bible
  7. Distributing any version of the King James Bible
  8. Quoting from any version of the King James Bible.

The practice of all forms of orthodox, conservative Christianity is hate speech and is punishable by death.

Only New Christians who worship according to the New Socialist Government Bible are permitted to call themselves Christians.

And as it is written in the New Bible:


God, in Her infinite wisdom gave humankind but two gifts. The first was homosexuality. The second was the ability to fight Climate Change.

Dead Ball

American Football will be banned for the following reasons

  1. Concussions
  2. Injuries that make standing difficult
  3. Injuries that make walking difficult
  4. Injuries that make using one's hands or fingers difficult
  5. Lawsuits

The Fix Is In

A congressional investigation will reveal that all professional sports games were fixed via bribes, threats or intimidation. The following were actively bribed in all professional sports

  1. Referees
  2. Judges
  3. Coaches
  4. Players

Almost any inexplicable game turned out to be influenced by bribery. And so, yes, that’s why the football coach called for nothing but passes when he knew the running game could not fail. He was bribed, threatened and intimidated.

Dear Leader!

The leader of North Korea has himself cloned 100 times. In an attempt to live forever, he continually harvested the organs of his clones and installed them in his body. He did manage to live 200 years in this way.

We Don't Need No Stinking Badges!

Once the laws that prohibited the display of identification when voting were made universal, radical Islamists walked across the southern border and took over every state that had a population below one million people without firing a shot. The radicals voted for radical write-in candidates and Sharia Law. And then the beheadings of Christians (both the hidden, underground KJV Christians and the New Socialist Christians) and atheists began.

Cannibal Zombies

The many world quantum theory was found to be correct. The radical theory that those many worlds interact with ours was also proved to be correct. One of those universes was populated by zombie cannibals. They came literally out of nowhere and ate everyone in North Korea before they could be stopped. Or, truth be told, before anybody bothered to stop them.

Fashion Boyz

All skinny, boyish runway fashion models were revealed to be boys.

Executive Commandments!

Barack Hussein Obama uses executive orders to make every citizen of India a citizen of the US. Then Obama convinces the people of India to create and ratify an amendment to the constitution to make Barack Hussein Obama God King of America for as long as he lives.

Obama also uses executive orders to confiscate all cars, houses, and money and give them to Mexico.

Someone opined that there were no limits of Executive Orders. At least, so that wag said, none that were written, implicit, explicit, expressed or implied. The president, who did not realize that the "limitless" comment was meant as a political joke, said the following to all his political opponents: We have decided that you are a "useless eater" and that you have no right to exist. Re-eduction was swift and final.


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Comments 18 comments

tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 2 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

Maybe another planet that is capable of sustain life will be found by 2025. I was hoping to hitch a ride on the Branson rocket plane, but looks like I'll have to wait for the rapture. :) A rather interesting look at the future.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 2 years ago

I pray that we will see a better future for mankind. Unless things change, we may see some of these predictions come true. God help us all!


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 2 years ago Author

tobusiness, sorry about the rocket plane thing. The history of space flight is littered with failure. But still we must go on.

I am looking for the self replicating robots to make space all nice and comfy for us then we will use that Star Trek teleportation idea and beam ourselves to the stars.

The alternative viewpoint is we won't go anywhere physically because we will be brains in a jar or simulations in a computer. Instead, we will send out representations of our consciousness to meet and greet aliens in distance galaxies.


SandyMertens profile image

SandyMertens 2 years ago from Frozen Tundra

This is an interesting concept if it would happen like that.


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 2 years ago Author

teaches12345 let's hope things do turn out better. Have a blessed day!

Thanks for dropping by Sandy. Let us hope that technology is used for good.


torrilynn profile image

torrilynn 2 years ago

If the world were to change in such ways than I am afraid for all of humanity. :) thanks for the concept... It really made me think.


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 2 years ago Author

Torrilyn the world changes a little every day. Thanks for dropping by. Stay strong!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 2 years ago from Nashville Tn.

The world certainly needs some changes made, for the better. If every single person concentrated on peace I wonder what would happen? Even better, just living the commandment to 'love one-another' would bring about significant changes. Thanks, poetryman6969. Audrey


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 2 years ago Author

Audrey of course the world would be better if everyone concentrated on peace. But this still cannot overcome the fact that what Putin or ISIS or North Korea or Iran regard as peace is probably very, very different from that garden of sweetness and light you are thinking of. ISIS for instance would want to what your religion was and for women, ISIS would have a very definite view of what you need to wear to bring about "peace".


suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 2 years ago from Taos, NM

LOL !


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

Lol! well, there you go! now that would be a funny world wouldn't it? er, maybe not, seems that way now! oh yes, that's just England!


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 2 years ago from malang-indonesia

Very inspiring hub. Thanks for sharing with us. Voted up and have a nice weekend!


janshares profile image

janshares 2 years ago from Washington, DC

Hilarious, chuckling all the way through this look into 2025. The jaded, wry predictions give a twisted lens into our culture. Thanks for the Friday night laughs. Voted funny and interesting.


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 2 years ago Author

Suze, Nell, Prasetio30, and Jan, thanks for dropping by and sharing a few laughs.

There's not a chance in the world that any of this stuff could happen....

Or is there?


Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 2 years ago

Obama also uses executive orders to confiscate all cars, houses, and money and give them to Mexico??? I don't think he will be president by 2025, lol.

funny concept.

Take care friend.


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 2 years ago Author

Thanks for dropping by Shyron!


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 17 months ago from sunny Florida

Hoping against hope that the tide is turned and wisdom prevails.

You have some interesting thoughts here for sure....some may be much closer to the truth than we would wish to think

Angels are once again on the way to you poetryman ps


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 17 months ago Author

Thanks for dropping by Patricia. It is not hard to find people who wish to make certain current behaviors and beliefs illegal and who wish to institute beliefs and behaviors that most Americans do not currently follow.

Have blessed day!

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